Wow, first of all let me say I am blown away by the response to this. I feel really blessed and grateful for all of you wonderful people and I'm sorry if I've been a little too busy with school...but two weeks more and it's over ^^ I was actually going to wait until I finished with school to keep writing but all of your demands for more got this out from me :D I hope you enjoy it.

Well...* shuffles feet* I am not proud of this one. I feel like I rushed through it just because you've all been SO AMAZING and the encouragement was really outstanding :) So forgive me if it's a little muddy or whatever, I'll do better when I'm out of a stress zone ^^

This was a rather quick "drabble" that popped into my head after I read the quote just below :p. The rest of the updates, when I actually have time, will be definitely longer and have a lot more depth.

And the last scene, which I just dabbled in the whole thing so it might appear a little...rash, was inspired by Sherlock's last episode of Season 2 ( which is heart wrenching when you watch in with a bowl of Ice Cream and the book by your side) I swear that if Sherlock does stay hidden 3 years I'll scream until I break some glass.

...Well, it was a drabble...then it extended by itself ;)

Sarajm: There will definitely be a Leon centered one-shot on the future ;)

Cruelest Sea: Thank you so much! I love your pen name by the way :D

Leonarema: Yes, she'll appear again, probably very soon ^^ But I have to think of a name for her...* ponders* any ideas?

Midnightlupus: Thank you so much! Wow, you guys make me blush :D

Thank you to all of you! I appreciate all your support but sadly I don't have the time to answer each one of you right now. Just know that you are in my heart and I thought of you while writing this :D

Just so you know: In ancient Roman religion Rumina was a goddess who protected breastfeeding mothers, and possibly nursing infants.

Lights Will Guide You Home

From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven. And when two souls that are destined to be entwined find each other, their streams of light flow together and a single, brighter light goes forth from their united single being.

-Indian Proverb

"Here you go, take the child"

Those words were immediately preceded by a screaming little bundle of golden locks and blue eyes in my arms, and as I looked at the new prince of Camelot I heard a piercing cry fill the air. It was Uther, I was sure. I was startled beyond belief but I didn't let it show, instead, I just rocked the baby back and forth in my arms while I watched maids rush in and out of Queen Ygraine's chambers. Never stopping. Never speaking.

Arthur was beautiful from the start. His light eyes were full of innocence when he looked up at me, the first face he ever saw in the world. Even then he had a few golden hairs on his delicate head. His mother should be ready to meet him any minute now. I couldn't wait till Ygraine saw how beautiful her son was.

So I rocked the prince in my arms while the day passed and the sun came down.

My childhood friend, Ygraine Du Bois, never came out from her chambers.

She never met her child.

Someway, probably from Ygraine, Uther learned that my own child had been a stillborn only week ago. He replaced that whole in my heart with another name. Arthur.

I became Arthur's nurse, her companion during her childhood years. Up until he was six it was me who spent the most time with him. He was a lovely child, maybe a little bit stubborn, maybe a little bit hot-headed, but I could see through that. His eyes spoke of compassion and valor, qualities that I was sure he had taken from his mother. The same as his light blue eyes and wheat colored hair.

Arthur took a lot of energy from the start since he was such a lively little boy. I had to run around waving little wooden swords with him, laughing of course, and blushing at the looks most of the maids gave me. But Arthur and his beaming face were worth it when with a quiet "Got you!" I tickled him in his tummy, ears and nose. He used to laugh and laugh until his face was red and his breaths were heavy from laughter.

My little Arthur, that little prince won my heart from the start. Maybe it is because I saw Ygraine in him and I missed my childhood friend dearly or maybe it is because he shone with the qualities of a true knight, I don't know.

But what I do know is that Arthur was a special little boy. Gaius used to tell me that he visited the injured knights quite often in the infirmary and all those rude men, weary and thick from years of fighting would become as docile as silk with their little golden prince around.

There were times when I caught Arthur looking at the sky with a faraway look in his eyes, almost as if he was waiting for something to happen. I made sure to snap him out of it whenever I saw it because I wanted Arthur to be a little boy for a while more, without his father's rules weighing him down.

Uther had a strange kind of relationship with his son. He was gentle and sweet with little Arthur whenever his walls went down and his pain for Ygraine's death subdued somehow. But as soon as Arthur's position in the court became part of his life Uther demanded too much of him. Far too much for such a little courageous boy.

I was awake at night with him, watching the stars through his large windows, sitting on the windowsill while he had both hands pressed to the cold crystal, eyes darting through the sky.

Then, it happened.

I really don't know what to say now that I know what it was. If I could turn back time and re-watch that moment again I know I would shiver from what it represented.

As it is, I only thought my little Prince was sleepy.

Because looking straight into the mountains ahead, the blue eyes of the prince widened and a strange, soft smile filled his small features. He pressed his hands to the tinted glass, standing in his shaky leg as I supported him with a firm hand across his back.

He looked at me with those eyes sparkling.

"Did you see that Rumina?"

"See what?"

"The pretty light!" he closed his eyes for a moment and then pointed at his small chest with a finger "Is 'ere now"

I thought he must've imagined it, maybe a reflection of the stars or the small flickering lights of the candles. But he insisted with childhood indignation that a pretty light had shot through the mountains and the skies and filled him.

"It's like a fire" I recall him saying "I feel so warm! Is that m'gic Rumina?"

I froze.

I literally didn't know what to say. My God, I knew what magic was and I knew it was not evil but Uther was dead set in making his son paranoid like him and I couldn't just go against him. So I played it safe.

"What does Gaius tell you?"

"He says magic can feel like a fire" Arthur replied with his little voice, eyes still darting across the mountains with innocent excitement "But I've never felt magic. Was that magic, Rumina?" suddenly his little finger was pointing towards the night stars again "Ohhh!" he cooed "there it is again! Did you see it, Did you see it?"

I frowned as I leaned forwards and looked out. And saw nothing.

"What?"

"It happened again! A thunder went to the sky!"

I laughed at his misconception, picking him up with ease as he twisted in my arms to take another look at the mountains, a frown placed in his little place.

"It was there Rumina; I swear it was there! Look, give me your pinky…!"

"Time for bed, sleepy boy"

I placed him under his covers in time to watch him yawn as he murmured "n't sleepy…"

I ruffled his golden hair with one hand, alleviated that he had already forgotten about the magic issue

"Of course you are not" I said with a smile as I walked out the door "Good night, Prince Arthur"

I could still hear him muttering something about people not believing him, but at that time I just shook my head fondly. It would be years later, after Arthur Pendragon had grown into a stranger to me, when I'd learn that in that same day and at that same hour a boy from Ealdor, named Merlin, was born.

As you already know, I was taken from the Prince the moment he turned 6 years old. He was beginning to learn under Geoffrey's attentive eye and I was really not necessary anymore. Arthur had maids now, to help him out.

I spent my time traveling from town to town but always missing my Prince, never forgetting him. I'd finger a little bracelet Arthur made me with his very first hunt, a small bird that happened to be in the way of his crossbow while he took his first lessons. The feathers were almost like a warm reminder of Ygraine and her golden haired son wherever I went.

Many years passed until I saw myself in necessity of going towards Camelot again. I thought, with an excitement that made my heart swell, how grown up Arthur would be, a boy of almost seventeen….

I passed through the gates of Camelot, so familiar yet so foreboding and smiled at everything I saw. The stone walls and the banner of Camelot…everything that made this my home… and Ygraine's home.

That's when I saw him. Arthur, coming through the gates his chain mail dirty and…twas that blood on his armor?*

"Go report to my father" he said, voice cracking, to the rest of the knights around him "I'll…I'll go clean up first"

Arthur was now a young man but it looked like if he hadn't aged a day. His golden hair shone in the sunlight, his face was shaped as Ygraine's…I felt my heart beat faster at the realization that my young boy was now a man.

Then, I saw the tears flooding his face while he covered his eyes with one hand, obviously trying to act as if they weren't there.

And my heart swelled again, but this time of worry. I could barely watch the little boy under my care get hurt and now this young man, so obviously upset…it tore my heartstrings.

So I approached to him swiftly, letting down the hood of my dress as I went, and looking straight into the eyes of that child I loved so much.

"Are you alright Arthur?"

He looked at me and quickly dried his tears with the back of his hand "How do you know my name?" he asked, a little harshly.

I tried not to let that hurt me; of course Arthur wouldn't remember his wet nurse from his childhood years. He was a grown up boy now, readying himself to be King.

"I am…" I said, but was rudely interrupted by a guard taking my wrist and shoving me aside while he yelled dramatically.

"This woman has been using magic!"

I stared at him in indignation. I had avoided magic as much as possible but yes, if I brushed with it from time to time but I didn't push it away like a deadly disease. After all, magic was not evil. Both Ygraine and I knew that.

He pointed at a barely hidden mark on my arm and I shivered with dread when I understood. He was pointing at the druid symbol that hung from Arthur's bracelet. A symbol that according to a few druids I had toppled with on a village signified the union of "two sides of a coin".

"No!" I shrieked but the look on Arthur's eyes was what killed me. They went hard and cold as stone as his horse whinnied with impatience.

"You've been consorting with magic" he said with the barest hint of emotion "You have no place on Camelot anymore. Go away and stay away"

I looked into his eyes and I swear that for the smallest moments he recognized me. But before I could say anything he had turned away, guiding his horse towards the stables as if he wanted nothing but to reach a safe place to cry.

As they pushed my outside Camelot's gates with a shout of "the prince has been merciful, filth!" I remembered, heart breaking, how I used to be that place.

I met Merlin after my hair had already turned gray.

I was staying near a druid camp, debating on my existence, when I saw the white stallion enter the clearing. Children danced around the horse as a man I'd never seen before jumped out taking a child in his arms and spurning him around as the boy laughed delightedly. The man responded to the cries of "Magic!Magic!" with different bubbles that floated near the happy children and then went through the thick vegetation to be bowed at by some of the elder druids.

Needless to say, it caught my attention. I timidly got nearer, looking at the young man curiously. He had a mop of black hair that contrasted with his pale skin and sparkling blue eyes.

"The Saxons are getting nearer" he was saying at that moment " The prat didn't know if he could ask for the assistance of magic or..."

"We will help him at the best of your ability" one of the elders said softly "Rest assured that the magical community will not abandon their King in his time of need"

"What about the Catha?"

"We received word from Alator a few days ago" another druid said "He says he'll be happy to help you, Merlin"

"Thank you" Merlin said, offering them a brilliant smile though his face was pale and his cheeks were devoid from color "I am happy you've all learned to use my name"

"It's a costume Emr-Merlin. I understand that you don't want any attention on you now"

"No...not now" Merlin said softly.

That's when, for some reason, he caught my eye. He froze instantly when his pupils reached my wrist and I had to look down to remember the reason why. Oh right. The bracelet.

He seemed strangely drawn to it for some reason. His eyes never left it, as if he could sense something in it.

"That's Rumina" I heard one of the elders whisper to Merlin "You can see that she used to be nobility. Poor woman, one of Ygraine Pendragon's childhood maids. I think Uther employed her in the castle for a while before it happened..." I flinched my eyes at the accurate description of my life but said nothing.

Merlin nodded and put up a hand, taking careful steps towards me as if to not startle me.

"Rumina?" he said gently, standing right in front of me. He was tall for a druid, definitely taller than all those around us "Can I ask you something?"

I opened my mouth and smiled "You can ask anything you want sire. After all, I am only unemployed, not ill"

And heart bounded to Camelot by a man I considered my son.

Merlin smiled "Well then. Can I see that?"

He gently took my wrist with his lean hands, gazing at the bracelet as I nodded and he took it out of my hands and into his.

He drew in a sharp intake of breath, as if a shock had gone through him. He closed his eyes as his fist closed around the feathers, pursing his lips as a tear went down his cheek.

"I...thank you" he said softly, opening those brilliant eyes and looking at me "Thank you...This...Arthur Pendragon touched this, didn't he?"

My jaw dropped open, not knowing how on earth he knew. But I felt tears prickled my eyes at the mention of that name "Yes..." I answered with a whisper "he made it for me...with his first hunt"

His eyes lightened up as if the name itself brought solace and he said softly " I suppose...you knew him as I child"

"Yes"

"I bet he was a handful, even at that age"

The light tone in his voice didn't mask away all the...was that longing? Almost melancholy, probably.

"He was" I answered "But he was the sweetest, most gentle boy..."

"Are you sure we've got the same Arthur?" He said, eyebrows raising comically.

"He was also very noble" I added, lost in my thoughts " and brave. Sometimes a little stubborn and hot-headed...couldn't say thank you to save his life..."

Something in his eyes shone when I mentioned that.

"Yes" Merlin said with a strange choked sob, looking at the distance too " Now I am sure we've got the same Arthur"

.

.

We spent the night sitting across each other, with a warm fire blazing in front of us. Merlin asked me to talk about Arthur and that I did. I talked about the little boy that stole the place of my own child, talked about his dimples and the way he laughed...

"Oh, Arthur's always been a load of work, hasn't he?" he said, his eyes sparkling "He attracts trouble like honey attracts bees..."

"He was a stubborn little man but very noble nonetheless" I said, smiling at his beaming face. The first time I'd seen him he was pale and worn and now, with the mention of that prince that held a spot in my heart, he looked a bit better.

"I remember this time when he stole his father's sword and sat on the throne...Gaius and I had to get him out of there before the Court nobles came back..."

Merlin just looked at me with those eyes, sometimes laughed at my tales of Arthur being a stubborn little boy and smiled softly when I related Arthur's adventures. But when I reached the tale of the inverted lighting ( one I considered fairly comical) he...he turned away.

I stopped my tale immediately when his eyes lowered and he pressed his hands together.

"Are you alright?" I asked, deep concern in my voice. I had grown fond to this young man.

He raised his head and I saw two tear marks going down his cheeks "It's been 3 months..." he told me in a whisper "I had to do it, I know I had to...but it doesn't change what I've done, what I've done to both of us..."

He shivered and closed his eyes, looking away.

That's all I got from him that night...

But as the dawn broke...I got my answer.

.

.

The sound of hooves woke my hazed mind as I blinked around, seeing that the night was ending and a light was shining in the horizon. The hooves got faster until they stopped.

I saw Merlin sleeping a few feet away from me, covered with the dark cloak he wore. His fingers were twitching outside the warm material of his improvised blanket however, and as I looked at him two blue eyes snapped open and met mine.

He said nothing though, just looked towards the trees and whispered a name that chilled me to the bones.

"Arthur..."

It was not a question or a plea, it was a statement. And as I rose to my elbows to try and understand what was going on Merlin got to his feet and began walking, almost drunkenly, between the druid tents. That's when I saw him, Arthur, jumping off a horse with outstanding quickness as he shouted with all the force of his lungs "MERLIN!"

Apparently that was all Merlin needed to break into a desperate run, just as I saw Arthur do the same, his sword forgotten between the bright grass.

"You idiot!" Arthur exclaimed as soon as they reached each other, grabbing Merlin by the shoulders, shaking him for all that was worth "You are so stupid Merlin!" he got the thinner man into a tight hug, his fists closing around Merlin's brown jacket. When the light of the sun touched his face I felt my breath leave me at the similarity with Ygraine "why would hell would you do that!..." He grabbed Merlin's shoulders again to look into his eyes before locking his arms around him once more "you are such a complete idiot!" his voice broke.

Arthur.

He was crying.

...

" You see Rumina..." He'd told me once "Father says no man is worth my tears."

...

And that's when I heard Merlin's quiet words, his head forcibly buried on Arthur's shoulder as he repeated "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

For a response Arthur only tightened his hold around him, blinking away the tears as he whispered "You better be...You'll be mucking my stables until you grow that ridiculous beard...!"

Merlin stifled a teary laugh and said quietly "Only you can act like such a prat after..."

"three months" Arthur completed, voice cracking again. He squeezed his eyes shut as two tears slid down his cheeks and into his golden beard "three bloody months you let me think you were dead you complete idiot"

Merlin pulled back and I saw the pure sorrow in his eyes, something I had caught a glimpse of the night before.

"They would've killed you..." his voice sounded desperately apologetic "I had to do something...!"

"Not disappearing for nearly half a year!" Arthur screamed, his hands tightening around the other man's wrists while soft tears slid down Merlin's cheeks "I almost went mad looking for you all over the five kingdoms...!"

"I had no choice..." Merlin muttered, liberating a hand from Arthur's grasp and placing the back of his palm upon his mouth to muffle a loud sob "It was me they were after..."

"I thought we agreed you'd let me deal with the Saxons" Arthur whispered, shaking his head fondly as he reeled Merlin back into an embrace " I never meant you could do that you stupid, selfless idiot...!"

I understood then. The Saxons had been invading small villages all over the north and they had their own army of Necromancers and Sorcerers at their disposal, something that not even Camelot could stand up against. I knew they wielded dark magic, darkest than that of Cornelius Sigan. I'd seen some horrible things done by this new race invading our lands, one of them the murdering of a whole village.

Merlin looked as if he had been thinking the same and by the glint of desperation in his eyes I understood why he thought there was no choice to be made. Placing a hand upon his eyes, he shook his head "I know. But Arthur they...they killed their own kind!...they...Gods!"

"It doesn't matter Merlin" Arthur stated firmly "They are practically gone now."

I saw Merlin's eyes flicker upwards, full of emotion as he said gently "I almost came back you know...Only you would be stupid enough to fight a battle without me by your side"*

"Hey, I had to drive them away somehow, didn't I?"

"You could've gotten hurt..."

"I didn't"

"But I..."

Arthur held up a hand, a gesture that reminded me of his years playing to be a knight while he jumped on that red velvet covers.

"Shut up" he said, cuffing Merlin gently around the ear "Shut the hell up. You are going tell me what exactly you've been doing these three months before being smart enough to send me your little ball of light"

I saw a flicker of the blue light in Merlin's palm I had caught glimpses of earlier as he looked guiltily at Arthur "I had to be near enough to be able to project my magic. Still...you came in less time than I expected..."

Arthur's gaze softened, as I had seen only when he talked with injured knights or his father was in a good mood.

But mostly when he looked up at me after I'd read him a legend from his multicolored parchments.

"Of course I did, Merlin" he answered, placing both hands on Merlin's shoulders while his eyes glistened, as they always did when they contained strong emotion "I promised myself that as soon as you gave any sign of life...I would find you"

"You never swallowed the lie, isn't that right my friend?" Merlin said gently.

Arthur flinched, as if the subject was a touchy matter ( and I knew how he flinched whenever something bothered him) but still held Merlin's gaze and let out a strained laugh "That? Ha! You dissipated in a bunch of smoke Merlin, and I know how much you like dramatics because you are such a..."

"I know" Merlin said softly before he could finish, gazing down at the grass " I am an idiot and stupid...and I'm so sorry..."

"I didn't want to believe it" Arthur muttered suddenly, shaking his head as he looked far away into the mountains, voice breaking between his strained words "and besides...I knew you weren't gone. As stupid as it sounds...I-I could feel you. Right here, like a warm light in my chest"

He pointed at his chest brusquely as he squared his shoulders, as if daring Merlin to laugh at him. But the man just shook his head and he bit his lip and I saw, surprised, that there were tears running down those cheeks as he placed his hands on his eyes.

And I stared, starting to link those words with that prophetic phrases he'd said as a child, barely able to walk.

"What's wrong now Merlin?" Arthur asked, honestly confused. I saw him trying to understand what was going on with Merlin but by the frown in his face he was at loss.

Merlin shook his head as he glanced up to the eyes of the little prince now grown into a man, the little prince that had seen that bright blue light shot out of the sky when their souls had been entwined.

"Nothing" he answered softly.

Merlin smiled up at him and they gazed at each other for a moment before Arthur broke it with a quiet demand " You will tell me what you did during your extended holiday Merlin..."

Merlin shrugged uncomfortably and sighed as he sat down in the grass. But there was not a trace of the parlor I had seen in his skin before, as if seeing Arthur had somehow improved his health. He looked up at Arthur "You might want to sit down. This will take some time"

They sat down in front of the fire, one dark head besides a blond one, exchanging confidential whispers that somehow I managed to overhear. Merlin explained how he'd gone to the Catha and asked for their help to rid Albion of the Saxons, then his quest to the Perilous lands to retrieve something else from a castle belonging to a Fisher King. I saw Arthur's jaw clench in a couple of places into Merlin's narration, especially whenever he perceived Merlin doing something he considered reckless but the young man only rolled his eyes at Arthur and replied with a cheeky answer. He related how a red dragon had counseled him and the entire armies he had destroyed in the process of coming to a druid camp near Camelot.

Arthur listened, one arm across his knees and a hand on his cheek in silent contemplation. I never once saw him this quiet, only when he was being scolded by Uther.

"What about Mordred?" Arthur asked in a whisper, something that I almost didn't hear.

Merlin didn't answer and I watched with my eyes wide open how his eyes went from gentle warmth to cold acceptance.

"He chose his side" Merlin answered "and I chose mine."

.

.

I had fallen asleep again and my eyes shot open when I heard one of the elders quietly stepping out of his tent and was watch the scene with a glint on his eye.

"I told you your Court Sorcerer would return safe and sound, Arthur Pendragon" he said gently.

Arthur turned towards him, not even noticed his old nanny on the floor. It looked like if he only had eyes for the druid and Merlin.

"Yeah" he breathed, tightening one hand around Merlin's arm "Thank you, Iseldir."

The druid name Iseldir bowed his head as I tried to wrap my hear around the words I had just heard. Court Sorcerer? As in...magic?

I let out a gasp that didn't go unnoticed to Merlin, because he turned around and his eyes found mine. He leaned over, whispered something to Arthur and my boy, my little boy turned towards me with a smile on his face.

"Come here, madam"

I did, trembling all the while. Arthur's gaze was sympathetic as he watched my poor attempts to disguise my nervousness.

"Come now, I'm not going to hurt you" he said softly "I'm King Arthur"

I fell to my knees when I reached him, taking his hands between mine as I kissed those fingers I had missed so much.

"Arthur, Arthur…" I sobbed "Don't you recognize me? Your poor governess from your childhood?"

His eyes went wide when he caught sight of my bracelet and he breathed out, more than said, my name.

"But that's…..Rumina?"

I nodded, still sobbing, but now with glee.

He got me to my feet and hugged me carefully while I cried.

...

"Hugging is disgusting!" he'd said one day after Lady Morgana had come to visit "I'll never hug anyone again..."

...

"I thought...I thought you said hugging was disgusting" I managed between my tears and kisses all over that blond hair.

Arthur laughed as he took my hands in his "Merlin's taught me a lot" he said, smiling "Isn't that right Merlin?"

"As I recall you hugged me first" Merlin replied.

"Oh, shut it"

I laughed, still not letting go of Arthur, and gave thanks to the Gods. For a moment there, I believed that Arthur was gone forever...His hatred for magic would've consumed him...as it did Uther.

But I later learned that thanks to that man by his side, Arthur turned out to be the best King that Albion ever had.

Eventually, Arthur remembered his bracelet. He held it in his hands with delight as he told Merlin how he'd asked Gaius and a maid to do it so he could give it to the most important person at that time...

I felt my eyes fill with tears at that point, but I dried them quickly when I saw Merlin finger the druid symbol and ask softly. "Where did you get this?"

I smiled as I repeated the phrase I'd heard such a long time ago "druids…it's supposed to represent two sides of the same coin."

I was surprised to see the Merlin froze and immediately locked eyes with Arthur, who looked at him with the same strange sparkle in his eyes.

"Well" Arthur said "they do love to use that phrase, don't they Merlin"

Merlin just smiled at him and answered " I guess they could just say the Idiot and the Prat"

"It would be easier, wouldn't it?"

Merlin let out a breathy laugh. "Lots."

I smiled at the pair, feeling at ease with them. For the first time since my first return to Camelot I saw in Arthur the man I perceived when I nursed him.

They said goodbye and Arthur promised to send knight to help me collect my things and come back to Camelot. He said he'd loved to have the first person who ever treated him as a human instead of a prince near him.

My heart swelled with joy as I waved them goodbye. But I still heard snippets of their words as their horses trotted away.

"Merlin? Never disappear again or I'll kill you myself"

"You can hang on to that...I will try not to."

"Merlin..."

"That's all I can give you Arthur. If it comes to a choice between your life and mine you already know what the answer is."

"I know my friend..." a pause in which I saw Arthur shake his blond head, a star in the deep velvet of the morning "...let's just..."

"Go home?"

"Yes idiot. Let's go home"

-Fin-

* If you got the reference to the raid of the druid's camp ( Ep 4x11) Kudos for you :D

* Making reference to the battle of Mount Badon.

* Paces anxiously* I don't really know what to say other than: I AM SUPPOSED TO BE STUDYING FOR FINALS!

This was for you guys! * blows kisses as she runs for her life*