Dean sat staring into space, thinking about what he could do to help his brother. Sam was getting worse, even now with no liquor for him to drink his speech was slurred and the white of his eyes were yellow. There were bags under his eyes, and he had lost so much weight. Dean knew without a doubt that Sam was dying.
"Castiel." Dean called, knowing the angel would answer.
"Yes?" Dean looked up and tried to smile at his angel.
"I need you to take me to god." Castiel looked shocked and for the first time in his entire life on earth, Castiel laughed.
"I cannot take you to him." Dean shrugged and grabbed for his gun. "If you can't take me to him, then I'll take myself to him." And with that Dean aimed the gun to his head.
"Dean, no…please do not do this, he may not allow your return to earth again." Dean shrugged and cocked the gun.
"Have you seen him?" Dean asked, lowering the gun for a moment. "Have you seen what the hell he's going through all because your daddy won't bring Gabriel back? I'd rather be dead and have Sam happy, then alive and know Sam's suffering so much."
Castiel sighed, and knowing how much trouble he could get into, grabbed for Dean and vanished.
Dean looked around and was surprised at what he saw. He was in an office building, of all things, with one measly desk in the center. No windows and no light, but the room was surprisingly not dark.
"Hello Castiel." Castiel bowed to his father and took a step back, letting Dean walk closer towards the figure turned away from them.
"Are you god?" Dean asked, not sure he could get his hopes up. "Yes Dean, I am god." Dean sighed in relief.
"I have a favor." God turned and looked at Dean and the hunter smiled at the familiar looking person standing there.
"And what's this favor you seek?" The familiar person smiled back at the hunter.
"I want to help Sam, and the only way to do that is to bring Gabriel back." Dean stated taking a step forward.
"I could do that." God answered and walked closer to the hunter.
"Will you?" Dean asked, hopeful.
"I don't know if I should."
"You brought him back, you brought Sammy back from the brink of death, and you won't help him? Did you bring him back just to have me watch him die?" Dean looked pissed.
"No I did not Dean, but Gabriel rebelled and left heaven. He killed many people." God looked saddened by this fact.
"Yeah, and at the end he died protecting humans. I think that's worth redemption don't you?" Dean asked daring god to disagree.
"You are right, he did a great many things to redeem himself, but you have not given me a good enough reason to bring him back."
"How about the fact that you brought Zachariah back, even though he was worse than Gabriel could ever be." God laughed at that statement and nodded.
"Okay, I'll bring him back, but if he dies he stays dead do you understand me?" Dean looked relieved and nodded.
God nodded and snapped his fingers and to Dean's great delight, there stood Gabriel, looking saddened and absolutely confused.
Gabriel turned towards God then and sighed. "I didn't deserve to be brought back."
"I know." God said smiling at his arch-angel. "But Sam needs you and Dean begged me to bring you back for him." Gabriel looked pleased then.
"Thank you Dean." Dean waved away the gratitude and looked at Gabriel with a straight face. "Sam is dying." Gabriel felt his stomach drop at those words.
"Am I needed here?" Gabriel asked god, hoping his father would allow his leave.
"You are not needed, but when I call, you come." Gabriel nodded and bowed to his father.
"Let's go then Dean-o" Dean nodded and walked towards Castiel, who looked shocked at what had just taken place. "Follow Cas." Gabriel nodded and the three of them left heaven, not noticing god's smiling face.
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Dean and Castiel were the first to arrive at Bobby's, followed very closely by Gabriel. Bobby saw the dead angel and sat bolt upright. "What the hell?" Bobby asked, grabbing for his gun, only to be stopped by Dean. "That's Gabriel, I watched him come back myself Bobby. He's here to help Sam."
Bobby sighed but put the gun down and watched Gabriel search the house with his grace before turning and walking up the stairs.
"How did this happen?" Bobby asked, watching Dean walk into the kitchen for a beer.
"Dean asked god for a favor, and god said yes." Bobby nodded, not really understanding how this was even remotely possible but accepting it for the time being.
Dean walked into the living room then and handed Bobby a beer before taking a drink of his own. "I just hope this helps Sam." Dean said, looking at the stairs longingly.
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Gabriel walked up the stairs and looked at the door hiding his mate and couldn't help but let the tears fall. How Sam had lived this long with a broken bond was beyond him, but now he was going to help mend the broken hunter.
His resolve strengthening, Gabriel opened the door and the smell of stale alcohol and sweat hit him like a ton of bricks. With a snap of his fingers, the room was clean, the air fresh and inviting and the body on the bed stirred a bit.
Gabriel walked into the room and towards the bed, looking down at the sleeping form of his mate. Sam looked terrible, eyes sunken and hollow, skin three shades too pale, hair matted from lack of bathing and he seemed to have lost a good amount of weight.
Taking a deep breath, Gabriel sat at the edge of the bed and placed a hand on Sam's cheek. Healing Sam was going to take months, and Gabriel so prayed that god would not call him until his mate was completely well again.
"Sam?" Gabriel called, gently trying to wake his sleeping mate. "Sammy love, wake up." Sam groaned but opened his eyes to the blaring light and winced. Gabriel bent forward and kissed Sam's eyes, helping him to adjust to the light faster. "There we are." Sam looked away and tears fell from his eyes.
"Not real." Gabriel felt his heart shatter. How many hallucinations had Sam had in the last months? How many times had his mind given him hope, only to crush it?
"I'm real Sam." Sam turned away and flinched at Gabriel's touch. Gabriel was dead and Sam knew this. God hadn't bothered to bring him back, no one but Sam seemed to give a damn about the arch-angel.
"God didn't care enough to bring you back; God didn't care…God…" Sam was sobbing again. His eyes hurt so damn much, but he continued to cry.
Gabriel reached under the taller man and lifted him up and into his arms, holding the sobbing mess of a hunter. Sam continued to cry, not knowing how long he had holed himself up in this room, barely eating, barely moving, and he didn't care. Nothing mattered without his angel.
"Shhhhh Sammy." Gabriel shushed, hoping to calm the hunter down, and eventually it seemed to have worked.
Hiccupping once or twice Sam finally calmed down enough to look at the person holding him. He'd hallucinated Gabriel so many times, but none of the hallucinations had ever held him, or comforted him, none of them cared enough to.
"Gabriel?" The angel smiled sadly and nodded.
"That's what I've been trying to tell you Sammy." Sam buried his face into Gabriel's neck and took a long breath. "I missed you."
Gabriel chuckled at that. "I've noticed. Want to take a bath with me?" Sam nodded, suddenly feeling filthy.
Gabriel snapped and transported them to a safe house he had, long ago, with a Jacuzzi tub. Filling the bathtub, Gabriel started undressing the hunter slowly, looking at the protruding ribs and yellow tinted skin, Sam was severely sick but Gabriel was there now and Sam would be alright.
With a snap of his fingers Gabriel undressed himself and gently maneuvered Sam into the water, listening to the hunter sigh with contentment, before getting in behind him.
Gabriel bathed Sam slowly and gently, getting the filth off his body and detangling his hair, before having Sam lean back and relax against the angel.
"I will never leave you again." Gabriel promised and listened to Sam's breathing, quiet and content.
"Let's go Sammy, we need to feed you." Sam nodded, not really trusting his voice, and with Gabriel's help got out of the bathtub.
A snap of Gabriel's fingers and they were both dressed in black t-shirts and sweat pants. "Do you want to eat here or at Bobby's? Dean's really worried about you." Sam shrugged; he didn't care as long as the angel was with him. "Bobby's it is then." Sam nodded and braced himself.
Gabriel grabbed a hold of Sam and together they vanished only to reappear in the room they had vacated not too long ago. "Let's go Sam" Sam nodded and allowed the angel to walk him out of the room and down the stairs to meet with the people he had ignored and outright insulted.
"Sammy?" Dean asked running over to his brother only to have Sam shy away and hide, as best as he could, behind Gabriel.
"Give him time Dean, he's very sick." Dean nodded and led the two towards the kitchen, knowing Castiel and Bobby would follow.
True to his prediction Cas and Bobby joined them in the kitchen and Watched Gabriel settle Sam into a seat before snapping his fingers and producing a feast of food.
"Go on then." Gabriel said looking a little miffed that no one had started eating yet. Castiel sat next to Dean and Bobby took a seat to the left of Sam. Sam flinched but didn't move as he watched Gabriel take his own seat to the right of him.
"What looks good Sammy?" Gabriel asked, hoping the young hunter would finally answer him.
"Chicken looks good." Sam said looking at the rotisserie style chicken that graced the table.
"Chicken it is." Gabriel smiled and cut a decent size piece off for Sam and placed it in front of him.
"Tell me if it tastes good." Sam nodded and looked down at the food before grabbing his fork and picking the chicken apart, hoping to find a bite that looked good enough to eat.
Gabriel, seeing this, grabbed Sam's fork and decided he was going to start feeding the hunter, knowing that Sam would eat anything given to him by his mate.
That's when everyone else decided that maybe they should be eating too, and grabbed a plate full of food, including Castiel, and they started tentatively picking at it.
They all hated seeing Sam like this, but Gabriel seemed to know what he was doing.
Sam opened his mouth to the first bite of chicken and potato, humming slightly as the taste permeated his mouth.
"It's very good." Sam said opening his mouth again as Gabriel brought up another mouth full of food.
"I'm glad you like it. Eat as much as you like." Gabriel said, smiling and loading up another forkful of food.
Dinner went by silently, Dean picking at his food, Castiel having finished his food and Bobby glaring holes into his now empty plate. Sam seemed to be the only one still eating, being prompted by a smiling Gabriel to eat as much as he would like.
Two slices of chicken, three spoons of potatoes and a bit of broccoli later and Sam was finally shaking his head at the bites of food that Gabriel had made for him. "Drink some juice and then we can go lie down." Sam nodded and took the glass of juice, downing it in one go.
Gabriel stood then and helped Sam out of his own seat before walking them out of the kitchen. "I'll be back to explain once Sam is sleeping soundly." Gabriel said, snapping his fingers and clearing the table before walking the exhausted hunter up the stairs.-
Gabriel walked Sam into the room and laid him down on the bed, kissing his forehead and petting his hair until the hunter's eyes started to droop. "Go ahead Sammy love, I'll be here when you wake up." Sam nodded, not being able to do anything other than close his eyes and let sleep take hold of him.
Walking out of the room and down the stairs, Gabriel made his way back towards the kitchen and snapped his fingers again, conjuring some cookies and coffee for everyone, before taking his seat.
He watched everyone take a sip of their coffees, including Castiel, and smiled at them all. "He's my bond mate." Gabriel started his explanation with the obvious.
"What does that mean exactly? I mean Castiel kind of tried to explain it but I'm not sure he was comfortable enough with it." Dean asked, taking a cookie and biting it angrily.
"Every angel has a mate all their own out there, and since there aren't very many of us and there are an abundance of creatures out there, it's hard to pin point exactly who our mates are. I was lucky when I found Sam and immediately my grace called out to him and started bonding to him. Sam's soul was just as happy, and devoured everything my grace gave to it. Every day this went on, our bond grew stronger, until the day I died for him.
"By dying for him I completed the bond, and because of that Sam was now living his life with a broken bond, which eats at the soul and slowly kills it. Sam's been sick because of the broken bond." Gabriel tried to explain but didn't seem to have done a very good job since Bobby and Dean still looked confused.
"So…this bond…" Gabriel shot Dean a dirty look.
"No Dean I did NOT sex up your brother, if I had he would have already been dead." Gabriel tried to explain again.
"What the…I don't get it." Dean honestly had no idea why his brother was dying because of this dick.
"Think of it this way, my grace was providing your brother with everything he needed, like a blood transfusion, now cut that off and the person dies. I died which cut off the supply to your brother and his soul was destroying him from the inside, trying to get to me." Dean winced at the explanation.
"So what you're saying is that Sam's soul was addicted to your grace?" Gabriel sighed, it was like talking to a monkey.
"No Sam's soul is not addicted. Imagine if you had to live without Sam." Dean squinted, wondering where Gabriel was going with this, but nodded.
"Now multiply that feeling by 1000 and you'll barely scratch the surface of how badly your brother and I need to be near each other."
"So what was that whole thing about the transfusion thing?" Gabriel wanted to pull his hair out.
"It's not a transfusion for the love of father. How did you feel when your brother died?" Dean looked ready to puke.
"Yeah, there you go that's about what the bond feels like. You feel like you're going to die unless the other person is with you, now multiply that feeling by…"
"I know, I know, 1000 blah, blah. So what was that about the transfusion thing?" Gabriel threw a cookie at Dean then.
"My grace was giving Sam love and affection and someone to turn to, granted without him knowing it at the time, and when I died his soul craved that connection." Dean looked like he was finally beginning to understand what Gabriel was saying.
"So there was no transfusion or addiction?" Gabriel threw his hands up in a huff and vanished with a whoosh, leaving behind a very confused Bobby, a moderately confused Castiel and a smirking Dean.