Thanks to my beta, Discordia81, for wrangling my crazy wordiness.
This is a slash story. Boys liking boys, and that kind of thing. Rated M for language and citrus.
Chapter 2
Waking up with my face buried in Edward's soft hair quickly became one of my favorite ways to start the day.
In the beginning, we slept across town from each other during the week and spent our weekends together. Before long, the weekends were spilling over onto Mondays and Tuesdays, and the occasional Wednesday, too.
We stayed at my place on Edward's nights off, cooking dinner and hanging out. We sat on my couch with my law briefs and Edward's netbook while the Red Sox played on TV. We met friends at the movies or at Masen's for drinks, or sat on my roof deck, drinking beer and fooling around with our guitars. And we fell into bed, fumbling with each other's clothes while our sighs and groans filled the air.
When Edward was working, I filled my evenings with overtime and client dinners, often in the company of the senior partners who took note of my extra efforts. I frequently made my way to Edward's after work, and let myself in with the key he hid in the entryway. A pleasant loneliness would fill me as I inhabited his empty place. I hung my suits in his closet, curled up in his bed to read, and fell asleep with the smell of his soap in the bedding. He tried not to wake me when he crawled into bed after his shift, and I pulled him close before falling back to sleep.
By early September, we spent more nights together than not. It wasn't something we discussed or planned. I loved it.
I loved waking to the feel of our limbs tangled together, and the steady rise and fall of Edward's breaths as he slept. I loved the brush of his whiskers against my shoulder. His sleepy murmurs as he woke. The smile that warmed his green eyes when he looked at me.
I loved waking up to find Edward's face between my legs even more.
"Jesus, Ed." I groaned at the sensation of his warm mouth on me. Moving my hands to frame his face, I looked down at him and bit back another groan. Edward's eyes were closed, his long lashes fanning across his fair skin, and his beautiful lips were wet as they slid over my cock. "Feels fucking good."
His fingers moved over the soft skin of my thighs and balls, rolling and pressing, each touch driving me a little more insane. His eyes burned with hunger when he opened them, and I grabbed hold of his head and thrust up into his mouth. He paused for a moment to adjust, swallowing around me with a low hum, the vibrations from his throat making me gasp as they rolled through me. I threw my head back on the pillow and opened my legs wider, stroking Edward's ribs with my feet.
My eyes drifted closed when his hands and mouth left my skin. I heard the click of the lube bottle and groaned when warm, slick fingers descended again between my thighs, guiding my cock back between Edward's lips. One long finger teased me for a moment, circling the sensitive flesh of my ass before sliding inside.
"Motherfuck," I exclaimed, opening my eyes to watch the beautiful man below me.
Edward groaned and rolled his hips into the sheets. He curled his finger to tap my prostate, and I let out a desperate, panting moan. He added another finger and my cock twitched. His mouth sucked and swirled, turning my bones liquid, and when he slid a third finger inside me, I unraveled.
"Coming," I grunted, gritting my teeth. I let go with a long exhale, falling into pleasure with my hands deep in his soft hair. Edward swallowed and caressed me, the dual sensations of his throat and fingers prolonging my orgasm before he pulled his mouth away.
"God, you're gorgeous when you come," he said after a few moments. His voice was rough as he pressed kisses on my thighs. "I love watching you fall apart like that."
When I could move again, I pulled him up against me and chuckled when his dick dug into my hip. He was so hard.
"You're fucking amazing," I muttered against his lips.
Edward kissed me breathlessly in reply and I deepened it, sucking hard on his tongue and tasting myself. His eyes were stormy when I pulled away to look at him. I let my hands roam the muscles of his back and ass until he let go a needy little sigh. He bucked and groaned when I reached around to pump his cock, making me smile.
"You wanna fuck me, Ed?"
"Yeah. No. Oh, shit," he gasped. I knew from the way his breath hitched that he was already pretty far gone. "Fuck, I need to come."
Edward bucked his hips again and whined low in his throat when I turned away for the bottle of lube on the nightstand. I slicked my hands and reached for him again, relishing his long, hungry moan.
"So good, fucking, so... oh, God, yeah," he got out.
I tightened my grip while he fucked my fist, and stroked his balls with my other hand until he was writhing. He let out another strangled groan when I pressed my fingers into the soft skin behind his balls and pressed deep, wet kisses against his neck. He froze for a moment before burying his face in my neck with a hoarse shout, his cock pulsing warm and wet over my hand and stomach.
"Jesus Christ."
"Mornin', sweetheart." I kissed the side of his face gently and chuckled when I felt him smile against my throat.
ooOOoo
We listened to The Jam while we brewed coffee and cooked breakfast, and Edward sang into his spatula, looking rumpled and adorable in his X-Files t-shirt and hospital scrubs.
"Let's go dancing tonight," he said, plating the eggs while I buttered toast.
"You're off?" I grinned eagerly. Edward worked at the bar most weekends and we rarely got out on the nights when the dance clubs were busiest.
"Yep. Bella traded me for my Tuesday." He carried the plates to the table while I followed with cups and the carafe of coffee. "She and Malice are doing something special with the family for Emmett's birthday. And I know you've been wanting to go dancing for a while."
"Mmm, I'd like that," I said as we sat down. I had been out clubbing only a few times since moving to Boston and only once with Edward. "I have tomorrow off for the long weekend-"
"Aha, so we can get you liquored up good and proper," Edward interrupted playfully, sandwiching his eggs between slices of toast. "Drunken Garrett is one of my favorites, you know."
I snorted and felt my face heat. I'd had too much wine during a recent dinner at Jasper's, and told our fellow diners just how much I enjoyed sex with Edward. I was mortified the next morning to find texts from Bella, Malice, and Jasper's boyfriend, Alec, demanding more details, particularly about Edward's technique.
"Aw, baby." Edward leaned in close and nibbled my jaw. "To tease is to love. Especially with that bunch; you know that."
And I did. I knew well the New England grand tradition of ball busting; it was when the teasing stopped that you needed to worry. I let Edward comfort me anyway and straightened his glasses before we turned back to our plates.
"I'm guessing you're not off tomorrow."
Edward shook his head. "I need to be at the bar by lunch time tomorrow. Jasper's in Maine with Alec this week for a family thing. And the guy who works the early shift is out because his wife just had a baby."
I frowned as I realized what he was saying. "You're going to end up working double shifts for almost a week straight."
"I don't think it'll be that bad. Matheus, Bella, and I are working out a schedule. And Jasper's back on Saturday, so I'll have that whole day off."
I looked at him doubtfully. "You're going to be killing yourself, and living on ramen noodles and coffee."
"I'll live. They cover for me when I take time off." Edward reached to cup my cheek with his hand. "Plus I get to torture Matheus by playing 'Inside Out' a million times."
I laughed then, recalling the near tantrum Matheus threw every time Edward snuck the Eve 6 song into the playlist. Naturally, the staff and crowd delighted in his pouting, and roared along with the lyrics while he took his turn dancing in the middle of the bar.
"Well, that'll make it worthwhile," I said, turning my face to press a kiss on Edward's palm, making his eyes shine.
A sweet, lopsided smile lifted his lips before he turned back to his food. "Thank you for giving a shit. And yes, I am going to be tired and eating poorly."
"Ooh, Grumpy Edward is one of my favorites, you know." I sipped my coffee and smiled when a balled up napkin bounced off my forehead.
ooOOoo
Underbar was packed to capacity. We made our way toward the back bar, where we knew Edward's friends had reserved a table. I held his hand in mine and tried to be optimistic that the friends in question would behave.
Most of the people in Edward's life were like him: warm, charming, and genuine. They were easy to befriend and I genuinely liked them. The men we were meeting at the club that night, however, were a more challenging lot.
Edward had known these men since graduate school. They were primarily writers and academics, and a very different breed from the staff at Masen's. Among them, Seth and Paul were easygoing, while Eric and Michael were more prickly. Then there was Liam, whose predominant attitude was one of scorn. He and Edward had dated for several years, breaking up and reconciling twice before Edward ended it for good. According to Jasper, Liam was never friendly toward Edward's boyfriends. It irritated me to no end that he seemed particularly unimpressed with me.
To be fair, I found it difficult to be impressed by Liam and the others. They were pompous, demanding people who did their best to make others feel unwelcome. They were not supportive of Edward's freelancing and derided his job at the bar. They were among his oldest friends, however, and had been at his side during the years that had shaped his experience as a gay man. Edward loved them, for better or for worse, and wanted me to love them, too.
While I couldn't deny Edward's generous heart, I could question the collective sanity of the men before me. We were in a nightclub, after all. Instead of being surrounded by sweat drenched men on the dance floor with Edward wrapped around me, I was sitting at the back bar listening to a debate about independent publishing. So I contented myself by watching the beautiful man in the Lemonhead t-shirt at my side, sipping my bourbon while Edward rubbed my thigh with his hand, his eyes gleaming as he argued a point.
Seth surprised me by turning his dark eyes my way, gesturing to the others with his beer bottle. "Exactly how boring is this conversation to you, Garrett?"
"Boredom is relative," I replied. "Discussing the finer points of five-hundred page law briefs could hardly be called high entertainment to the uninitiated."
He smirked. "Sounds like a thrill a minute."
"It is if you're a law nerd." I smiled when he chuckled in agreement.
"And what do you read when you're not being super lawyer?"
"I don't have much time to read outside of work, unless I'm on vacation. I've been keeping up with the stuff Edward is writing, though."
Seth's reply was cut off when Liam snorted dismissively. "Why you're still publishing those scribbles is beyond me, Ed."
The irritation I felt at Liam's words became anger when I caught Edward's injured expression. I squeezed his hand reassuringly as I turned to Liam.
"The articles Edward is writing are very good." My voice sharpened when he rolled his eyes at me. "And you know very well that he's writing more than articles."
"What I know is that Ed is too busy working in that goddamned bar to work on anything that shows promise.
"Those articles are fluff." Liam narrowed eyes at me. "Ed's capable of much more and he knows it. If he got serious about his writing, he'd be able to finally make something of himself."
"Come on, Lee," Michael sighed. "Give him a break, for Christ's sake."
I didn't dare look at Edward. I was having trouble curbing my tongue as it was without seeing the pain his friend's words were causing. "You know, for the life of me, I can't understand what your problem is, Liam."
"It's hardly surprising that you don't understand," Liam scoffed. "There's a reason that our worlds don't often mix, Garrett."
I felt myself flush with anger and hurt, but more for Edward than myself. "Right. I don't understand why anyone would be ashamed of freelancing. Or of having two short stories published in this quarter alone. And I certainly don't understand why bartending is something to be sneered at."
I looked at Edward when he squeezed my fingers lightly, and felt my anger cool when I saw the emotions playing over his face. There was gratitude and pride in his eyes and soft smile. It made me happy to soothe him, and as much as I wanted to tear into Liam for being an idiot and a shitty friend, I wanted even more to turn Edward's smile from shy to dazzling. I pulled him close and kissed him, tracing his jaw with my fingers. The heat leapt between us at once, and I felt a moan rumble in his chest. I sighed when he wound his arms around me and stroked my skin through the fabric of my shirt.
The gleam was back in his eyes when he pulled back to press his forehead against mine. I was vaguely aware that his friends were watching us with varying degrees of amusement and exasperation, and I was sure I heard Liam huff. All I cared about was the amazing smile on Edward's face.
"Come dance with me, baby," he said, pulling me up as he stood. "I've made you wait long enough to do a little ass shaking."
The dance floor was pulsing with heat and dancing bodies. Edward's hands were everywhere as we moved together, brushing over my arms and chest, his fingers stirring my hair and tracing the lines of my face and neck. I was aware of his friends moving around us in the crowd, but my focus stayed on the man in front of me.
We lost long minutes, kissing and grinding while bodies pressed around us on all sides. Before I realized what he was doing, Edward had tugged my shirt over my head and tucked it in my back pocket. I forgot to scold him when he bent to run his tongue over my damp skin, playfully nibbling on my collarbone with his teeth. He gave me a wicked smile when I pulled at the hem of his shirt, letting me pull it up and over his head, stretching it across his upper back before I dragged him toward me.
I couldn't get enough of him. His kisses set my skin on fire, and his arms wound tight around me, while his dick pressed I felt hard and ready against my thigh. My moan was lost in the roar of the music as I pressed him closer, wanting more. To drag him into the shadowed corners of the club and take his cock in my mouth. To feel him inside me. To take anything he would give me.
We broke apart, panting and fighting for control. Edward's brows were drawn and his lips were swollen from kissing. Desire was plain in his eyes when he opened them to gaze into mine, and he twined his fingers into the damp hair at the nape of my neck, stroking my scalp gently.
"Let's get a drink," he mouthed, nodding toward the bar. I smiled before we let go of one another and headed off the floor, pulling on our shirts as we went.
The lazy kisses we shared while we waited for our drinks grew steadily more heated, until I was ready to haul Edward up onto the bar and crawl on top of him. He slowed us down gently, brushing the hair from my forehead before he bit my chin and made me laugh.
"I gotta take a leak. Behave yourself while I'm gone," he said with a wink and loped away.
I carried our drinks to the now empty table and had time for one sip before Liam slid into the seat across from me. As always, just looking at the man set me on edge. I hated being unable to relax around him and that he made me doubt that I was a good match for Edward. I really fucking hated that he could not pull his head out of his ass to be a better friend.
"Look, I get that you don't approve of me, or whatever. You've made that pretty clear." I paused when Liam's lip twitched, and took another sip of my drink. "You say you're Edward's friend. If you are-"
"Don't question my loyalty to him." Liam's eyes flashed with real anger, obliterating his carefully cultivated bitchiness. I saw his hand tighten into a fist on the table as he considered his words. "You've known Ed what, six months, if that? I've been there for him in ways you can't understand, Garrett. And I'll be there for him when you're off with your next boyfriend or girlfriend."
"Then don't make him choose between us," I replied solemnly. "Don't make him choose between you and any man in his life. Hell, maybe you're right and I'll be just another guy that's not right for him. I hope not, to be honest. I really like Edward. I want to make him happy.
"In the meantime you sure as fuck are trying to make me feel shitty. But you're not hurting me, Liam, not really. You're not my friend, and I don't much care what you think of me. But you are Edward's friend and he loves you. You hurt him when you act like this."
Liam's grey eyes narrowed as I spoke, and his handsome face pulled down in a frown.
"You make him feel like shit every time you tear him down for his writing or for working at the bar, or for going out with me. He doesn't deserve any of that," I said, shaking my head in exasperation.
"I realize how we must seem to you: a bunch of effete queens picking on the sweet bohemian boy." Liam's eyes moved to the table and he pursed his lips before looking up again. He seemed to battle with himself for a moment before he blew out a long breath. "It's all done with Ed's best interests in mind. He's easily distracted, Garrett, always has been. If he would just focus for once, things could really change for him."
He smiled softly then and dropped his guard, his emotions showing plainly for the first time. I wondered if Liam showed this side of himself to his friends, and if they realized that he still loved Edward. I wondered uneasily if Edward knew how Liam felt.
"So, in your mind, I'm just another distraction? Like the bar? Like his freelancing?"
Liam shrugged. "Well... like you, writing freelance articles and tending bar have a certain charm about them, certainly, and they're all good fun. But is that what you want him to be doing ten years from now, Garrett?"
"Edward's not like you or the others," I said quietly. "He's not where you are in his career, but he has his own way of going about things that works for him. He's good, Liam, and he works fucking hard. Give him time to sort things out."
Liam arched a skeptical eyebrow at me. "And are you really going to stand by him while he plots his path, Garrett? I'm sure you're used to a very different lifestyle than the one Ed is living. The two of you don't move in the same circles, or have the same goals. Your career is already set well into the future, while Ed hasn't truly begun his. Even when he does, you know how different they'll be.
"Forgive me, but from what I can tell, the two of you don't have much in common other than a love of bourbon, music, and that ragged crew from Masen's."
I frowned as I listened to Liam's words. On the surface, he was right. My peers and I often worked backbreaking hours and put our personal lives on hold. In return, we made large paychecks and spent them lavishly, rewarding ourselves with material things, and valuing status and prestige. In contrast, Edward and his friends worked hard, but lived and played modestly. They were creative and quirky, and enjoyed living very much in the moment. Their work lives merged and overlapped with their personal lives, until it was difficult to tell where one ended and the other began. They were happy, vivid people, and so much more content with their lives and themselves than my pampered peers ever were.
As Edward and I had grown closer, I became intrigued by his contentment. While I was happy in my profession, I wanted something beyond the money and prestige. I wanted to feel fulfilled and valued for who I was, as well as for what I did.
Liam's sharp eyes were not unkind as he watched me. "You said something earlier that struck me, Garrett. You don't even have time to read outside of work. How can you make Ed happy when you have to schedule time to pay attention to the one thing he loves to do most?"
"I don't have any complaints about Garrett's attentions."
I caught a glimpse of Liam's startled expression before we both turned to look at Edward. He dropped into the chair at my side, sliding one hand into mine as he reached with the other for his drink. His smile was slow to reach his eyes, however, and I wondered how much he had heard of my conversation with Liam.
"What kept you?" I teased.
"Long, sordid story." He tossed back half of his drink, squinting against the liquor's burn before he leered at me. "Let's just say that I've seen enough latex to last me a lifetime. Right now, though, I want to feel up your sexy ass before we head back to my place."
I was out of my seat without another word, dragging Edward behind me as he laughed. It didn't escape me that he hadn't spared a word or glance for Liam.
ooOOoo
I wasn't the only one to get drunk that night. Edward matched me drink for drink and we kept each other busy on the dance floor kissing and humping each other to distraction. We were giggly and handsy when we left, and decided to walk to Edward's to clear our heads. We stopped frequently during the six-block walk, however, kissing and groping one another while I teased him mercilessly.
"Come on, baby," he murmured hoarsely, shuddering when I palmed his cock and buried my face in his neck. I pressed him against the brick wall of a darkened apartment building, and smiled at his muttered curse.
"Let me make you feel good, Ed," I breathed in his ear, moving my hand to his belt buckle. "I want to suck you so bad, sweetheart."
He chuckled and curled his fingers around my wrist to stop me. I pursed my lips in a pout before he kissed me so soundly that my knees wobbled, and I stifled a groan when his hands moved over my ass. We were both panting when he pulled away.
"You do, baby. Goddamn, do you make me feel good. As much as I'd love to see my dick in your mouth right now, we're about five-hundred feet from my place and there's a bed just waiting to be used." He bit his lip and brushed his knuckles against my cheek tenderly.
"Well, when you put it that way, get your ass in gear and take me upstairs."
We were pulling at each other's clothes by the time we made it in the door, dizzy with want after the long evening of teasing. We left them where they fell, making our way to the bedroom, and when Edward wrapped his hand around me, I almost lost it right there. Swearing loudly, I hauled him toward the bed and fell down with him in a heap on the mattress. He hissed when my dick brushed against his, then pushed and rolled me onto my back before nimbly backing down my thighs.
"Wait, Ed, let me-" I said, my words dying in a gasp when he dragged his tongue over my cock in one, long lick. He drew me deep into his mouth, and I arched off the mattress with a load groan and begged without shame. "Oh, God. More, please."
He moved his mouth to my balls, working them over with his tongue until I was thrashing and begging him to fuck me. He moved away at last, reaching toward the nightstand, and I threw an arm over my eyes, panting as I tried to slow my body's response. I recognized the tingling in my inner thighs and belly, and knew how close I was to the edge.
"Baby, baby," Edward whispered, suddenly close and running his fingers over my jaw. "Shh. I'll take care of you."
I moved the arm over my eyes to curl around his neck, and pulled him in for a long, deep kiss. He groaned into my mouth while our cocks slid together. I grabbed his ass with my other hand and threw one leg over him, straining to bring him closer. We were both trembling when I moved to murmur in his ear. "I know you will."
I loosened my hold enough to give him room, and closed my eyes at the sound of the foil wrapper tearing. The lube bottle clicked and then wet fingers pressed into me, making my breath catch and my hands drop to fist the sheets. I listened to Edward's sweet whispers and surrendered myself to the sensations. The delicious burn of his fingers inside me. His mouth, pressing wet kisses into my neck and shoulder. His tongue whispering around my nipple, his teeth nipping gently at my ribs.
"Ready, babe," I muttered.
Edward kept on, insistent as always on taking this one part as slowly as we could bear.
"Ed... please," I said after several long minutes, my voice wavering with need.
The fingers slid away, replaced by the tip of his cock when he'd settled over me. I felt his arms on the bed by my shoulders as he slid deeper, and heard his labored breaths. I let go of the sheets to run my hands against his hamstrings, and pulled forward until his hips met my ass. He hummed softly and paused when I opened my eyes to meet his, the fire inside me coiling in my belly. He rolled his hips against me, and I lost myself in him.
He seemed to look into me with those wide green eyes. A gorgeous flush splashed across his neck and chest and I saw something vulnerable flash over his face.
"Garrett," he murmured, the note of surprise in his voice echoed in his expression.
I couldn't answer because he shifted then, changing his angle to tap the perfect spot deep inside me that sent me spiraling out of control. I could hardly breathe, let alone speak. I wound my legs around him, digging my heels against his ass before reaching for my cock. Edward beat me to it, and used his warm fist to pump me as he fucked me.
Pleasure rushed through me all at once, making me gasp. My eyes burned, clenching closed as my come painted my chest. "Oh... Jesus, fuck!"
I was still lost deep inside my head when Edward stiffened against me. He gave a great shudder and pressed his face against my neck as he cried out. I wound my arms around him and sighed when he sagged on top of me.
It was a long while before we came back down. I muttered when he pulled away, and listened to him walk to the bathroom to throw the condom in the trashcan and wash up.
"Come to bed, babe," I slurred tiredly. I let my lids close when he returned with a warm washcloth to clean the sweat and come from my skin, and was already dozing when he slid into bed beside me.
I wanted to talk about what Liam had said at the club, and the way his words had made us feel. I wanted to talk about the way Edward had looked at me while we were fucking, and about the words he wasn't saying. But his arms were warm around me, and I was too tired for talk. I snuggled in, instead, and fell asleep.
ooOOoo
It was dawn when I woke up alone in the bed. Wrapping myself in the sheet, I prowled through the apartment and found Edward at the kitchen table closing his netbook, clad in just his glasses and boxer briefs. His eyes were red with sleeplessness when he looked at me with a frown.
"Did I wake you? I'm sorry," he said, getting to his feet and crossing the room to me. "I was just coming in."
I shook my head and wrapped him in the sheet. "What the fuck are you doing, Edward? You're going to be comatose at work today."
"I know," he sighed as we walked back to the bedroom. "Something got caught in my head and I had to write it down."
"Tell me this isn't because of what that dickhead said." I pulled him onto the bed, covering him with the sheet when he lay down, and took his glasses. I also made a mental note to tear Liam a new asshole the next time I saw him.
"It might have been," Edward admitted before yawning hugely. "But only a little, I promise. Sometimes stuff just pops in to my brain... I can't focus until I get it out."
He closed his eyes and his words became garbled as exhaustion hit him full force. The pauses between his thoughts increased in length as he relaxed. "Sucks when I'm at work without my computer... have to write during my breaks... longhand... fucking pen and paper."
I gathered him in my arms, rubbing his back and shoulders and he burrowed against me. His body grew heavy with slumber as I pressed a kiss to the crown of his head, and I fell asleep to his soft snores.
ooOOoo
I let Edward sleep as late as I dared, finally waking him at 10:00 a.m. He was groggy and compliant, letting me push him into the shower before I went to the kitchen to make breakfast. We ate egg sandwiches at the counter and talked about the week ahead until he had to leave and he slipped the netbook into his bag before we walked downstairs. I kissed him on the sidewalk outside his front door until he moaned and laughed when he pulled back to adjust himself discreetly.
"You did that on purpose," he grumbled.
"You didn't mind," I shot back.
"No, I fucking did not. Doesn't take much to get me hard when you're around, Garrett."
"Good to know, Edward. Good to know."
He shot me a smile when he turned to go but I thought again that the warmth didn't quite meet his eyes.
That look in his eyes stayed with me all day. I saw it when I rode the subway across town, and while I did my grocery shopping and errands for the week. It was there, in my head, when I cleaned my apartment and washed a mountain of laundry. When I cooked my dinner and composed an email to my parents. When I settled down to work and watch the Sox hose another road game.
My phone chimed as I was getting ready for bed. I chuckled when I saw it was from Bella and then laughed outright at the photo she had sent. In it, Matheus was scowling, dancing at the center of the bar with his arms above his head. Edward's campaign of musical terror was underway.
ooOOoo
A vague uneasiness dogged me for the rest of the week, disturbing my sleep and leaving me out of sorts. The unsettled feeling was compounded in that Edward and I were too busy to see each other, even for lunch. He worked a double nearly every day and stayed until close every night. My own schedule left me too tired to do anything but crawl home at the end of the day, eat take out, and crash. We sent texts and managed a couple of short phone calls, but it wasn't enough.
By Thursday, I took an overnight bag with me to work, determined to make some time with Edward. It was after nine that night when I grabbed some bagels and sandwiches from a deli near the office and caught a cab across town. I tripped over his Converse inside the door and rolled my eyes at the empty Top Ramen containers in the trash before I ate a quick dinner and sat up in his bed with my files, reading and watching the clock with bleary eyes.
The next thing I knew, my phone was chiming a quiet alarm on the nightstand. Edward's arm was warm around my waist, and I felt his soft breaths on the back of my neck. I had fallen asleep before seeing him.
Climbing out of bed carefully, I frowned when I saw just how tired he looked, even as he slept. His features were sharper from skimping on meals and sleep, and there were dark circles under his eyes. He didn't stir, even when I tentatively ran my fingers through his wild hair.
Quietly, I picked up my bag and the stack of papers and books he had cleaned up the night before, carrying them to the kitchen. I showered and then padded around in my boxers, brewing coffee and making breakfast. I left Edward's plate in the fridge, noting with some satisfaction that his sandwich from the night before was gone before I went back to the bedroom to dress.
He had shifted to my side of the bed and was curled up around my pillow when I walked in. I watched him as I pulled on my clothes, my fingers itching to touch him, especially he mumbled softly. Instead, I picked his clothes up off the floor and tucked them in the laundry bag before I got ready to go.
I found the note as I was leaving, penned in Edward's loopy handwriting and taped above the deadbolt on the front door so I wouldn't miss it.
Trying to buy my affection with tuna salad now? I see how it is.
I dug a pen out of my bag to scribble a reply.
You're not the only one who knows how to give good sandwich, Cullen.
ooOOoo
By some miracle, I was free to go by six that evening and was packing up to head over to Masen's when my phone lit up with Edward's number.
"Edward, hey!"
I could hear both his smile and exhaustion when he answered. "Hey, Gar. I'm done for the night and wanted to see if we could get together for dinner."
"Absolutely," I said with a smile that made my cheeks ache. I walked toward the elevator as I talked. "How'd you manage that? I thought you were closing tonight."
"Jasper and Alec had to come back a day early – something to do with the kennel and Alec's dog. Anyway, Jas showed up, took one look at me, and sent me home." He laughed and I heard Matheus and Malice taunting him in the background. "Jas must have had an amazing week because he says he'll split tonight's tips with me."
"I'm sure there's a story there," I replied as I stepped on to the elevator. "Listen, how about pizza and wine at my place?"
"Yes and yes. But make it two pizzas; I could eat my own arm right now."
"Meet me at Regina's near my house. By the time you get there, the pies will be close to ready."
Edward's subway line was jammed up, so I was waiting outside of the pizzeria with the hot boxes when he jogged up. He kissed me sweetly before taking the boxes so I had free hands for my bag and briefcase.
"Jesus, sweetheart, you look pretty strung out," I said quietly as we walked.
"I could have kissed Jas when he walked in today." He smiled impishly, though his eyes were bloodshot and he was sagging slightly with fatigue. "If he didn't have an Alec, of course... and I didn't have a Garrett."
His slight hesitation caught my ear but before I could ask him about it, his expression became shy. "Thanks for coming over last night. And for the sandwich. I know you've been working a lot of hours too, and it was really nice to see you."
I chuckled and shifted my bags so I could hold on to the back of his neck as we turned on to my street. "You're welcome, sweetheart. I wish I had been awake when you got home."
"Eh, it's all right. You were all cuddly. You're extra cute when you're drooling all over my pillows."
We were still laughing as we approached my building, and I didn't pay much attention to the figure sitting on the front steps. Edward's expression of surprise, however, prompted me to realize it was my ex-wife sitting on the steps.
"Katie? What are you doing here?" I asked blankly. "Is everything okay?"
Kate's eyes moved from me to Edward and back, taking in my hand on his neck. She stood up slowly, her lips pressing into a thin line while her cheeks flushed pink.
She cleared her throat in an obvious attempt to control her emotions before she spoke. "Garrett, can we talk? Alone, if that's all right."
"Of course," Edward said quickly, nodding politely at Kate before he turned to me. I frowned when he stepped back and away from my touch, and just caught a flash of hurt in his eyes.
"Wait, you don't have to go," I began and then paused with my mouth open. I had no idea what to do next. What did I think was going to happen - that I would sit down for pizza with my ex-wife and the man I was seeing?
"Hey, it's okay." Edward's gentle voice centered me. He gave me a reassuring smile and nodded at the boxes he was holding. "Just grab one of these... I'm claiming the other one."
I shook my head as I took the top box, frowning again when he reached out to help me adjust the bags on my shoulder. I felt unhappy that he was being run off, and disappointed with myself for letting it happen. My voice was low when I stepped forward and said, "At least let me introduce the two of you."
"Maybe another time," Edward murmured quietly, his eyes flicking to Kate and back to me. I heard the hesitation in his voice when he spoke again. "Maybe we can catch up tomorrow, if you have time?"
My stomach sank at the thought of not seeing him again that night, and I hastened to reassure him. "I'll come over tonight, Ed."
His mouth tilted in that sweet, lopsided smile before he turned back in the direction we had just come. I watched until he rounded the corner before turning back to face my ex.
"I should have called," Kate muttered, holding out her hands for the pizza box as I walked up the stairs.
I dug my keys out of my pocket and looked at her curiously. "Is everything all right?"
"Yes. Well, I don't know." Kate sighed heavily and shook her head. "I'm not sure how to answer that question."
We climbed the stairs quietly and I felt her eyes on me as we entered the apartment and walked to the kitchen. She stepped forward, helping me set the table and serving the pizza while I poured the wine.
It was when we sat down that I realized I had taken the box containing Edward's pizza in the confusion outside. My throat grew tight as I stared at the roasted cherry tomatoes and ricotta on my plate. I wanted him there, with me and sharing that meal, instead of waiting across town to see if I showed up.
Kate cleared her throat again, drawing my eyes to hers. I was no stranger to the emotions I saw in them, but now the anger and sadness were tempered with curiosity.
"Garrett, who was that man downstairs?"
"His name is Edward Cullen," I replied, picking up my glass. I sipped and sighed, knowing the Lambrusco was good; my swirling head and heart, however, left me unable to enjoy it. "We've been friends for a while. And we've been seeing each other for a couple of months."
Kate carefully cut her pizza with her knife and fork. "He's very beautiful. Is he your boyfriend?"
"I think so, yes. We haven't really talked about labels like that. But I'm not dating anyone else."
"Is he... is he the reason you asked me for a divorce? Did you come out for him?"
I stared at my ex until she raised her eyes to mine, my shock rendering me incapable of speech for a long minute. Kate was red-faced and grim, her body practically vibrating with tension as she waited for my answer.
"No," I said gently. "I've told you before. There was no one person. My coming out started long before I met Edward. I've always liked men. I just didn't realize that I preferred them until fairly recently."
"There were lots of women before me," she protested stubbornly. I felt my stomach sink when her eyes gleamed with tears. "Don't try to tell me there weren't Garrett, I saw you with them before we started dating. And-"
"There were men before I met you, too," I interrupted, biting my lip when her face fell. "Before I ever loved a woman, I loved a man, Kate. I fell in love with him, and it was more... it was right, for me. Then and now. It's who I am. I'm so sorry that I didn't figure that out before I met you. The last thing I've ever wanted was to hurt you."
She nodded, her tears spilling over onto her cheeks. I handed her a napkin and made some noise of comfort, hating that she was still hurting.
"Fuck," she said after a moment. "I know you told me that already. Guess I wasn't really ready to believe it yet. Seeing you with that man, though..."
I ran a hand over my head as she trailed off. "I'm really sorry it was a surprise, honey. We haven't talked much. And I didn't think you'd want to hear about my dating."
"Yeah, I know." She sighed and wiped her nose before suddenly letting out a strangled laugh. "Well. Guess I don't need to salt my pizza now that I've snotted all over it."
I tried not to chuckle and failed. Then Kate giggled, and the tension hanging over us broke apart as our giggles became full-blown laughter.
ooOOoo
It was after ten when I let myself into Edward's apartment, this time tripping over a pair of Adidas lying inside the door. There were lights burning, but it was quiet, and I found him on the sofa in his jeans and a Bartley's Burger Cottage t-shirt. A bottle of stout sat beside the empty pizza box on the coffee table, and he was snoozing through an episode of The Big Bang Theory.
Setting my bag down, I carried the box and empty bottle to the kitchen, where I washed the few dishes in the sink and tidied up. Edward was stirring when I returned to the living room, and sat up blearily before he patted the seat cushion beside him.
"Hey, handsome," I said, running a hand over his messy head as I sat down.
"Hey, yourself." His voice was rough with sleep, but he smiled and leaned in to kiss my jaw. "I was hoping I'd see you again tonight."
I huffed and took his hand between mine. "I told you I'd be here. I'm sorry about dinner. Kate's never turned up at my apartment like that and I didn't feel comfortable asking her to leave without hearing her out."
Edward shook his head slowly as I spoke, gently squeezing my fingers with his. "Don't worry about it, Garrett. You guys had a life together. Even with the way she treated you... I'd think it was weird if you didn't want to talk to her."
"Thank you," I murmured and moved to kiss him tenderly. "You want to go to bed, sweetheart? I know you're tired."
"No way, man," he replied, brushing his nose against mine. "I haven't seen you in fucking forever. Well, not awake, anyway. I wanna hang out, drink beer, and eat the ice cream in the freezer."
"Really?" I pulled back to scan his face, laughing when he nodded furiously.
"Fucking A. I can sleep tomorrow on my day off."
We shared beers and chocolate ice cream while chatting about work and some business trips to Atlanta that I had planned. Edward told me about the piece he had written late Sunday night, and I could tell from his smile that he was happy with it. He promised to let me read it when it was ready.
He needed another beer before he was ready to ask me about Kate. His body language and the worried line between his eyebrows betrayed his conflicted feelings about the woman who had recently hurt my family and me. I knew, too, without his saying, that he would never ask me to end the relationship.
"I hadn't talked to her much since the big blowout in July," I said, rolling my beer bottle between my palms. "Just emails when we needed to communicate about legal stuff. She felt bad about outing me to my parents. She wanted to apologize and really didn't want to do that in a message.
"She's still having trouble accepting that nothing would have changed the outcome of our relationship. But we talked and I think she's starting to come around. I hope so, anyway."
Edward pulled me close, pressing his lips against the side of my head and I let his warmth soak into me.
"She was embarrassed for the way she acted in front of you," I said. "I guess seeing me with another man was more of a surprise than she expected. She asked me if you were my boyfriend."
"Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah. I told her that I thought you were. My boyfriend, I mean."
Edward was quiet for a moment and I felt a knot of tension in my chest at the idea that we might not be on the same page.
"Is that something you're okay with, baby?" Edward asked carefully.
I sat up and turned to look at him, confused by his words and the cautious, closed off expression on his face. I hadn't seen that look since before we'd started dating; he had worn it whenever we talked about Matheus dating other men.
"How do you mean?"
"Well, I realize it's a little late to be saying this, because we've been spending a lot of time together. But I don't want to put any pressure on you, Garret. It doesn't have to be serious between us, unless you're ready."
"Why wouldn't I be ready? I thought you wanted to be in a monogamous relationship."
"I do," Edward replied, and then hastened to add, "but you just came out to your family, and you're in a new city. If you aren't ready to be exclusive, I'll understand."
"You'd really do that for me?" I watched, stunned, as he nodded and a bright flush stained his cheeks and neck.
"I can't promise I wouldn't be shit at it. I can be a jealous fucker," he said in a low voice. "But I don't want you to feel forced into anything."
I put the beer bottles on the coffee table before turning back to kiss him hard, pressing him into the seat back. The knot in my chest disappeared as he wound his arms around me. Soon, I was straddling him, and our groans and muttered curses were coloring the air. We were a little desperate as we ground against each other, hands roaming and eager, but we were playful, too, simply enjoying being close again.
I pulled back to look at him finally, combing his hair back with my fingers and watching the emotions in his big eyes. "How long have you been waiting to say those things to me, Ed?"
"Since the club," he admitted, rubbing my back with his hands. "And I know you hate it when I get stuck in my own head and keep shit from you. But in my defense, I haven't seen you since Monday morning. And it took me a couple of days to figure out how I wanted to broach the subject."
"What happened to make you think that way? Was it something I said or-"
"Baby, no, it wasn't you," he said quickly, his hands moving to frame my face. "It wasn't anyone, really, though I suppose if I had to name a name, it would be Liam."
"Oh, that is it," I groaned. "I am gonna kill that motherfucker the next time I see him."
Edward laughed loudly and kissed me quickly. "No, no, come on, it wasn't anything I haven't thought about on my own. I heard Lee talking about my not being serious about my writing… and that made it more real, I think.
"Made what more real?"
"Admitting that our lives don't always match up. You know where you're going, and I'm still kind of fucking around. I wonder sometimes if you need more, you know?" He sighed and my heart ached when I saw the doubt flicker in his eyes again. "I wonder if you need something better."
I kissed him again, pouring myself into it. I hoped he felt my trust and desire, and the emotions I couldn't yet put into words. Edward's eyes were bright when I pulled back, and his smile lit up the whole room.
My gaze was steady as I looked at him, and my voice was filled with emotion. "There's nothing better out there for me than you. Trust me. You are exactly what I need, Edward."
"Good to know, baby. Good to know."
A/N
Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed that. ;)
I have a few more things bouncing around in my head, so I'll sure to revisit these boys again.
Notes:
Underbar, Pizzeria Regina's, and Bartley's Burger Cottage are actual establishments in the cities of Boston and Cambridge.
The Jam were a mod revival band active during the late 1970's and early 1980's.
Lemonheads are a sour candy sold in the US.