FOUR MONTHS LATER
Lavender.
I answer the door with Tabitha balanced happily on my hip.
"Hi Mada, how are you?" I say, smiling at the old woman who had immediately put her arms out to take Tabitha.
"Tabby…you big girl now!" I loosen my grip and the baby is transferred, purring contently into Mada's arms.
"Tea?" I ask, as Mada whirls into the flat.
"I will do…you sit down!" Grateful I sit on the sofa and close my eyes for a moment, it's been a long day.
"Tell me your day!" Her voice floats through from the kitchen and I sit up and try to wake up.
"Well, I was working on a scarf this morning then we had a nap and then I started made a pie for dinner." Both my cooking and crochet skills have increased exponentially in the past few months, my own personal form of therapy.
"You fill order?"
"Yes, I'll take them in tomorrow and then Mrs Pearson wants a blanket for the new baby." I now make wool items for many of the families on the reserve and sell products in the clothing shop.
"Clever girl, how Charlie?"
"He's fine, he'll be back soon."
"You love him now?" I smile and stand up to walk into the kitchen.
"Mada, how many time do I have to tell you? We're not together, we're just friends!" She is persistent, I'll give her that.
"Take Tabby…I carry tea." I take Tabitha back from her and she tugs on my black hair as we move back through to the living room.
"How are you?"
"Fine, dinner shift soon, I make stew." She always makes stew, I suspect it's the only dinner food she knows. To be fair they are all different, and delicious.
The door opens and Tabitha squeals as Charlie enters the flat. He brings with him the smell of dittany and singeing hair. The first time this happened I was alarmed but now I just check his eyebrows and red hair and don't think any more about it.
"Hey." He says, putting down his bag. Tabitha starts wriggling so I stand up and Charlie takes her from me and spins her around.
"Have you been a good girl for Mummy?" He asks, smiling. "Good day?" He asks, looking at me.
"Yep, how about you? Did you get the sample from the Ironbelly?"
"I did, with only a medium-sized burn to show for it."
"Wow, that's impressive. Tea?"
"Nah, I'll shower first, here…" I take Tabitha back from him and he pulls of his leather coat.
Mada stays for another twenty minutes but by the time Charlie returns from his shower it's just me and a sleepy Tabitha in the living room.
"I'll put the pie in the oven, do you want tea or a beer?" I stand up leaving Tabitha in the Moses basket.
"Actually I've bought a bottle of elf-made wine." He says, pulling the expensive looking bottle out of his bag.
"Celebrating getting the sample?" I ask, walking into the kitchen, I hear him come in behind me, I turn the oven on and look up at him.
"No, this is for something else."
"What?" I ask, intrigued.
"Do you know the date?"
"No, I know it's a week day though, do I get credit for that?" I ask, smiling.
"Five points perhaps, anyway it's March the twenty third. Happy birthday!" I feel the smile slip from my face and sit at the table.
"I thought we decided that my birthday's in June?"
"We did, but we're celebrating tonight as well so suck it up." He says, popping the bottle of wine and retrieving glasses from the cupboard.
"I didn't know you knew." I say quietly, Lavender's birthday had not slipped my mind, I'd tried to avoid thinking about it though.
"McGonagall told me, she said to tell you happy birthday."
"You heard from her? When? Why?" I ask, thinking it's something to do with the trials, they are nearly over according to the Prophet.
"Last night when you went to bed, she just wanted to check in, Kingsley arranged a Floo-call under Percy's name. She gave me a letter to give to you, hang on…" He passes me a glass of wine and then leaves the room, returning seconds later with a Hogwarts envelope.
I put it in my pocket and look back up at him.
"Everything's okay though?" I ask.
"Yep, the Ministry have finished investigating Lavender's death and found that Hogwarts wasn't to blame for her suicide, they called it 'a serious of unfortunate and extraordinary events'." I nod but don't reply.
"Anyway, happy birthday!" He says, toasting his glass to mine.
"Thanks." I mutter before taking a large swig.
"And here is your present." He passes me a small box wrapped hap-hazardly in light blue paper with no label.
"You can't get me a present for something that isn't happening…"
"Just open it!" He says, grinning. I look at him for a moment longer and then look down at the small gift and open it, it's a navy box. I open it and see a bracelet, almost like a friendship bracelet.
"Before you say anything, I'm not turning girly from living with you and Tabitha for too long, put it on." I slip the plaited leather bracelet out of the box and onto my wrist.
"It's nice…"
"Go into the bathroom and look at your arms and legs." He says, almost sternly.
I do as he says and walk into the bathroom and pull up my left sleeve and gasp.
The words are gone, I look at my legs and they are smooth and untainted. I sit on the bath and run my hand over my arms, I can still feel the scars but they are no longer visible, Lavender is fading again.
"Does it work?" Asks Charlie from outside the bathroom door, I stand and wipe away an errant tear and open the door.
"Thank you, Charlie." I say in the most sincere voice I can, he smiles and we walk back into the kitchen.
"George said they're being launched next week."
"It's amazing, I can't see anything." Charlie looks proud.
"He wanted to get it perfected by Christmas but it didn't cover the whole body so he wanted to wait."
"Well thank him for me when you write to him." My letters are strictly limited but Charlie is usually able to work any messages into his letters.
"So, how was last night? I only heard her once."
"Yeah, at about four, she wasn't awake long though." The nights are still the worst but Tabitha at least seems to be settling down.
"How about you?" He asks, taking a sip of wine.
"Not too bad." I reply, not looking at him. "Anyway beef and ale pie, or at least I hope it's beef, the butcher looked a bit shifty."
We have a quiet dinner exchanging normal conversations and Charlie compliments the pie which I'm quite impressed with myself. He clears up the dinner and I walk into the living room and look at the letter from McGonagall. I tap the envelope with my wand and open it.
Dear Lavender,
I'm glad to hear that you are doing well. There are only four trials left now and they should be dealt with by the end of the month. Kingsley is sorting out the paperwork for Amber and Tabitha Jones.
We believe it may be possible for you to visit the Burrow during the summer for a few days but we will re-evaluate the risk closer to the time.
Madam Pomfrey has said that Dora's results are perfect and that she is on target for all her development goals. We are still waiting for you to send your sample.
I am extremely proud of how well you seem to be doing in your new life, it is a testament to your character and strength. I will try to arrange a visit within the next few weeks, there is a Transfiguration conference in Albania so I may be able to pop in to see you.
Best wishes,
Minerva McGonagall.
P.S. I hope I don't need to say it but; don't forget to burn this!
I smile at the postscript and then put the letter on the fire and watch it burn. I haven't seen anyone from Hogwarts since I left. Mr and Mrs Weasley have visited a few times but outside of the flat they have to keep up the illusion of being disappointed in having an illegitimate grandchild.
There's a knock at the door and I stand up to answer it, it's Mada again.
"Mada, what are you doing back here?" I ask, trying not to sound rude. Charlie walks back into the room drying his hands with a tea-towel.
"Thanks for coming, Amber do you want to change?"
"Why would I need to change?"
"We're going to the pub, come on."
"You go out. I baby sat Tabby, go change!" I turn to Charlie but he raises his eyebrows as if daring me to ask why we're going out.
"Fine." I mutter walking into my room. I change into a clean pair of jeans and a pink jumper with brown boots, the Romanian winter is still in full grip. Tabitha is asleep in the crib and I look at her for a moment and resist the temptation to stroke her light blond hair and then grab my bag and wand and walk back into the living room.
Charlie is pulling on his jacket and Mada passes me my green coat and I pull it on.
"She should be fine but…"
"Go! I know how to care for Tabby…be young!" Mada says, almost pushing me out of the door. Charlie shuts the door behind us and I turn to him.
"Did it ever occur to you that I might not want to go to the pub?" I ask.
"Of course it did but I just ignored it, come on. We haven't been out this week yet."
"That's because it's bloody freezing!" I reply, pulling on my mittens.
"Stop moaning, drinks are on me."
"Can I have a hot chocolate?"
"Life of the party you are." He mutters as he opens the heavy door, the security guard waves at us and I smile back at him before the biting wind causes the expression to fall off my face.
Charlie links his arm with mine and pulls me out into the snowy street.
"I don't know how you work in this!" I say, loudly over the wind.
"I put warming charms on my gloves, here." He pulls my hands out and touches them with his wand and they are reheated instantly, it spreads throughout my body, except to my exposes face.
"Thanks, so what did you tell Mada the occasion was?"
"I said it was about time you got out of the flat more, people are getting suspicious."
"I go out! Almost every day…"
"Exactly, in the day. You hardly ever socialise at night, Drew's expecting us and Sara wants to get to know you more, I think she's a bit starved of female company."
"What about Evie?"
"They don't get on."
"Big surprise." Charlie snorts but doesn't reply. Evie and I barely speak but the scowls she gives me every time she sees me speaks volumes.
The pub is warm and welcoming and Drew waves us over to a table in the corner.
"Hey, you finally got the hermit out of the shell then?"
"Yep, I told you, I'm charming! Beer?"
"Sure."
"Sara?"
"One of those warm wine things, please." The New Zealander asks, smiling at me. Charlie disappears to the bar and I pull off my mittens and coat.
"How you doing?" Sara asks.
"Okay thanks, how are you? Settling in yet?"
"I'm getting there, it's just so different." She replies, looking around the pub, I mimic her and spot Evie walking towards Charlie. I turn back to Sara and Drew.
"I heard you got the sample from the Ironbelly?"
"Yeah…" As I expected the conversation about the Dragon carries us until Charlie returns with the drink, Evie pulls up a stool and I stiffen but don't say anything. Charlie passes me the hot chocolate and I take a bit sip, only when I swallow do I realise it's got some form of whisky in it. Charlie watches my expression with a grin so I choose not to comment.
"So when are your family coming?" Charlie asks Sara.
"Probably not till July, they want to avoid the winter. Have you got family coming soon?"
"Not for a bit, my parents came last month but things are a bit busy at home at the moment, my sister in law is very pregnant and my younger siblings have got exams coming up, and the Ministry is still busy."
"They done with those trials yet?" Drew asks, I keep my eyes down but I can feel Charlie's eyes on me.
"The Death Eater ones are done mostly but they're still a few more trials going on."
"That girl right, the one who was raped? I read about it before I came, it's horrible. Did you know her?"
"No, my younger siblings did."
"How about you, Amber?"
"Me, what?" I ask, looking up at Sara.
"Did you know that…was it Lavender?"
"I didn't know her, I was home-schooled." I reply, trying to keep my voice even.
"Perhaps if you'd gone to Hogwarts you would have learnt how not to get pregnant?" Evie asks, Charlie's head snaps to hers but I aim a kick at him to try and reign in his temper.
"Fuck off, Evie. What are you even doing here?"
"It's a free country." She replies, taking a long drink of her wine.
"Which gives us the right to tell you to piss off." Says Drew, looking annoyed.
I stand up and move past Sara muttering about going to the toilet. I cross the crowded pub quickly and stand in front of the sink in the bathroom taking deep breaths. This is exactly why I don't like socialising, you never know which direction the conversation is going to take.
It takes me a few minutes to pull myself together and then I splash some water on my face and return to the pub. About half way across the room my path is blocked by a large man with a burn on his face and an over-powering aroma of Firewhisky.
"Hello, can I buy you a drink?" If I was to make a guess I'd say he was German, or Austrian. His English is perfect but the standard among the workers on the reserve is generally quite high.
"No, thank you." I reply, I try to move past him but he blocks my path.
"Are you sure?" He asks.
"Quite sure, I need to get back to my table." He looks at where I am pointing and I can see that Charlie is close to coming over, and then the German steps aside and I walk quickly to the table. Charlie questions me with his eyes but I nod and take a very large sip of my drink and almost choke on it. Sara hits me on the back and I recover fairly quickly.
Evie has left the table and there is a pack of muggle playing cards in the middle of the table.
"So, what are we playing?" I ask, trying to sound nonchalant.
"Poker, you in?"
"What are we betting?"
"Only knuts, we don't get paid enough these days!" Charlie says, smiling.
"Sure, can I borrow some knuts then?" He passes me over a few and we start playing.
I pick it up quite quickly, Sara and I team up as we are less familiar with the rules but after a few rounds we split up and the game starts becoming more entertaining.
After a few more drinks I start to feel a bit more relaxed, and slightly tipsy so I switch to water. When I win my first game Charlie leave to get more drinks and Drew starts to deal without him.
I'm just looking at my cards when a commotion at the bar has me looking up, Charlie is on the ground with the German guy punching him, Charlie hits back and Drew jumps up to run over to them.
"Oh my…" I gasp, Sara and I run over but one of the men puts an arm out in front of us so that we are out of the violence.
"Charlie, stop it!" I yell, he looks up at me and tries to straighten up but the moment costs him and another man, a friend of the German's perhaps, knocks him out with a well-aimed punch to the head. He drops like a stone and the barman jumps over the bar and uses magic to ensure there are no more injuries.
Drew kneels down next to Charlie, wiping his bloody nose on his sleeve, and I rush over to them.
"Is he okay?" I ask.
"Charlie, mate, come on!" Drew says, pulling out his wand and reviving him.
He opens his blue eyes slowly and looks momentarily confused before his eyes find mine and he suddenly looks more in control.
"Where…where did he go?" He gasps, sitting up.
"He's gone, come on mate, let's get you home." Drew says, pulling Charlie to his feet. The other patrons clear a path and we walk out, Charlie is leaning on Drew heavily and Sara and I walk ahead of them.
"Bloody knob…" Charlie mutters as we reach the snowy street.
"What the hell happened?" Drew asks, his voice straining under the effort of carrying his friend. Sara drops back and takes his other shoulder and I walk next to Drew.
"If I see him on the reserve I'm going to knock his bloody block off!"
"Charlie, calm down." I say, loudly, trying to get him to focus. We haven't kept up the cover for over four months just for him to blow it while he's concussed.
"Sorry, m'fine." He replies, locking eyes with me for a moment.
When we return to the flat Drew lowers Charlie to the sofa and Mada fusses over him for a moment in a way that reminds me of Madam Pomfrey. It makes me miss her.
"Don't worry I'll keep an eye on him, has Tabitha been alright?"
"She fine…sleep all night! You put the ditty on his head?"
"Yep, I'll do it. Thanks guys." They leave and I breathe a sigh of relief.
Before I look at Charlie I walk into my room and check on Tabitha and then go into the bathroom and find the dittany and a couple of other potions.
Returning to the living room I sit on the coffee table and see that Charlie is asleep or unconscious again.
"Hey, Charlie! Wake up!" I say, shaking him.
"S'matter?" He opens his uninjured eye and looks at me.
"The matter is that I need to treat your injuries and you need to tell me what the hell happened!"
I start dabbing the dittany on his eye and he winces.
"Stings!"
"What happened? Do you want to get arrested?"
"He was disrespectful!"
"And you thought the best way to deal with it was to start a fight? Fire with fire?" His eyes close again so I poke him hard in the chest.
"Oww!"
"For Merlin's sake, Charlie! You could have ruined everything!" I say, sitting back and putting the dittany down.
"S'fine, he won't say anything!"
"You can't lose control like that! What if…if you'd been hurt or…or the police had been involved!" I'm so mad that I put the dittany down and throw the box of potions at him.
"Fix yourself!" I yell before storming off into my room and slamming the door.
Charlie.
I hear the door slam and try to focus on the potions, I take them all quickly and then lean back and take deep breaths.
I can see why she's pissed off and that's even more annoying but…
I sit up and feel the potions clear my head slightly, my eye is still throbbing but I can feel the dittany working and I know it could have been a lot worse.
I just wanted to give her a nice birthday, a night off from Tabitha, and now I've buggered it up.
When Gerrand asked me if he could borrow her for the night, I just lost it. He's always been a pillock but we haven't really spent much time together so it's not been a problem before.
I think about going to talk to her but decide against it, if she's anything like Ginny when she's annoyed she'll probably hex me. I lie back down and take a deep breath.
We've been doing really well considering the rocky and abrupt start. I know she found Christmas tough and I'd rather had been with the family but it was decided for us that it wasn't worth the risk. We spend the Christmas week locked in the flat pretending that Tabitha had some contagious disease.
Mom and Dad have been a few times and Amber tries to put up a good show but I notice the guard she puts up when they're around, she doesn't want to let anyone get too close. There are only a few trials left now but McGonagall thinks that one of them might get away with it, we haven't told Amber but I reckon she knows anyway.
The sound of her sobs filter through to the living room and my guilt multiplies but I stay put. I know she hates to show weakness, hates to cry with an audience.
The best thing about all of this has been the baby. I never really wanted kids before and I was terrified at the thought of trying to pretend to be a father but actually it's been easy. Bill warned me not to get too attached in case they need to be moved at short notice, but I couldn't help it. I think the world of Tabitha, I can never call her Dora, it's too hard to think of Tonks lying dead on top of Lavender in the battle.
Amber's only had a few slip ups in terms of calling her Dora but they've been covered smoothly and everyone at the reserve seems to have bought the cover story. The problem I now face is trying to get Amber out of the flat more otherwise people will get more suspicious and we can't afford that.
Grieving for her family is all well and good but the grief should fade whereas the broken-ness of Amber's appearance is not diminishing by much.
I slip into sleep fairly easily, aided by Firewhisky and potions but I'm woken abruptly by the sound of Amber screaming at non-existent attackers. Her nightmares have been reducing in frequency and intensity but I suspect the excitement of the night has not helped her recovery.
I stand up quickly and stagger slightly before running into her room. Tabitha is asleep, the charms preventing the noise of her mother from disturbing her, Amber is writhing around on the bed like she's having a seizure.
The blanket has fallen off her and her fists are clenched, her whole body is shaking and sweat is making her hair and clothes stick to her.
"No…please…don't…"
I grab the blanket from the floor and throw it over her before perching on the edge of the bed and putting my hands firmly on her shoulder.
"Amber, wake up, it's okay!" I shake her lightly and for a moment there's no response from her but then she gasps and sits up quickly, breathing heavily.
"You okay?" I ask.
"I…" She starts crying and I take my hands off her shoulders and move back slightly, out of her personal space.
McGonagall gave me an ear-bashing for not talking to her about her nightmares, about any of it, but I hate to exploit her vulnerability at these times. Would it help her?
"I'm sorry…"
"Don't apologise, what happened?"
"Nightmare." She answers, wiping her face with her shaking hands.
"I figured that out for myself thanks, I meant…what was it about?" She looks at me through her fingers and her eyes are wide, terrified. I contemplate giving in but then McGonagall's face appears in my mind so I stay firm.
"Nothing, I'm fine." She says, she lies back down and turns away from me into the wall.
"You can talk to me about what happened, you know?"
"It didn't happen to Amber." She says, to the wall.
"It happened to Tabitha's mother." I reply, glancing over at the crib.
"Get out, I'm still mad at you." She says, still not looking at me.
I stay for a moment longer and then leave the room.
Lavender.
I wake up just after the sun has risen, my first thought is that I woke up naturally but then I hear Tabitha's disgruntled noises so I take a deep breath and sit up, she is sat up in the crib, looking around and clearly not happy.
"Hey, Poppet." I say softly, lifting her out of the crib and into my arms. She makes noises of greeting and I smile and put her on my bed as I pull on my dressing gown and slippers.
I carry her into the kitchen and flick the kettle on and grab a bottle of formula from the table, Charlie must have prepared it in the night, I'm still mad at him though.
I sit on the chair and lean back against the wall as I feed her, she can almost hold the bottle herself now but her grip is not strong enough to feed herself so I still guide the bottle.
"Morning." I open my eyes, I hadn't even realised they were closed, and watch Charlie walk to the kettle. He has one black eye but there is green paste on it so I know the bruise will fade soon. I keep watching him and only when he puts a cup of tea in front of me do I speak.
"What time are you off?"
"Twenty minutes, I should be back early tonight though." I nod and look back at Tabitha who is watching me with her blue eyes.
"Look, I'm sorry about last night."
"Are you?" I ask, looking at him.
"Yes, I over-reacted."
"What did he say?"
"It doesn't matter." Something about the way he says it makes me not ask again, I know what some of the men on the reserve think of women.
"Is your eye alright?"
"Yeah, did you sleep after the nightmare?" I look at him shrewdly.
"What's McGonagall said?" I ask, we've never discussed the nightmares before, we never discuss the war at all.
"Nothing…"
"Bullshit, what's she said?" I ask firmly.
"She just wants you to try and open up."
"Just tell her I am."
"You mean lie, to McGonagall, are you mad?"
"We're doing okay aren't we?" I ask, my eyes slightly watery.
"Yeah, really well."
"Then don't start rocking the boat now." I stand up and walk back into my room and slam the door.
I hear him leave ten minutes later and have a long shower before dressing myself and Tabitha and putting her in her pushchair. I double-check the bag of scarves I've made to make sure they look good enough and then leave the flat.
The textile shop is a ten minute walk away but with the heavy snowfall last night it takes about half an hour for me to get there. Several of the people we pass greet me with a nod or a grunt and most of the women stop to look in the pushchair.
"Amber, how y'doing?" Asks Glinda, the owner of the textile shop, she helps me get the pushchair into the shop and then beckons me into the back.
"I'm well thanks, how are you?"
"Can't complain, heard about the ruckus in the pub last night, not like Charlie to get physical is it?" I like Glinda, she's one of the few people I've met here that I can say I would have been friends with before the war. She's in her late thirties and moved over here from Ireland ten years ago with her husband, a dragon researcher, they now have a two-year old boy, Ryan, and this shop.
"I know, I was really pissed off." I say, first checking to make sure that Ryan isn't within earshot.
"I know Gerhard can be a bit of a nightmare when he's had a drink, do you know what started it?"
"No, Charlie wouldn't tell me…" Tabitha starts crying so I bend down and lift her out. "Daddy was silly, wasn't he?" It's been surprisingly easy to pretend that Charlie is the father, it's clear that he thinks the world of her.
"Another bad night with her?" My tiredness is usually blamed on Tabitha so I nod. "I'll put the kettle on."
"Thanks, where's Ryan?"
"He's hiding in the hat box, probably getting snot over all of them." I glance over to the hat box and see that the wooden lid is ajar, Ryan is a fan of playing hide and seek on his own.
"Bless him, I've got those scarves for you." I pull the bag of scarves out from the bottom of the pushchair and put it on the table and then sit on the armchair and start to tickle Tabitha to keep her amused, it works and she starts making purring noises again.
Glinda comes back in with a tray of tea and biscuits and then starts looking through the scarves.
"They're great, how do you get them done so quickly with a six month old?"
"Ha, she likes playing with the wool while I'm making them. Do you think you can sell them?"
"Definitely, make some more with these bright colours, they sell quicker with the trainers."
"Sure, do you need anything else? Hats, socks?"
"Can you do gloves?" I think about it and pull a face.
"I'll give it a shot, I can do mittens though."
"Alright, socks and mittens. I've got a load of hats that aren't selling, hence why I don't care that Ryan is playing in them." I smile and take a sip of tea.
After ten minutes Glinda becomes suspicious of Ryan's continuous silence and discovers he has fallen asleep in the box, she lifts him out and carries him over to the table.
"Hello Ryan, how are you?"
"Bam bam!" He says, brightening up at the sight of me.
"Amber, Ryan, Am-ber!" Glinda says slowly, the nickname has stuck.
Ryan takes a biscuit from the plate and passes it to me.
"Bam bam, cookie?"
"Thank you." I say, taking it and waiting until he has walked to his toy box before putting it back on the plate.
"So, how's Brian?" I ask, I like Glinda's husband, he reminds me of Seamus but not in a bad way, I miss my Hogwarts friends more than I'd like to.
"He's alright, you and Charlie should come around to dinner on Friday? Get you out of the flat?" She looks at me carefully and remembering Charlie's warning about getting out more I force a smile onto my face.
"Great, thanks. I'll ask him tonight."
"I know it's hard to…try and get on with things again." She lost her mother to some disease last year.
"I'm trying, it's just…" There's a crack in a voice as I think of Flo. I miss her so much, I barely think of my parents.
"They'd want you to be happy."
"I know, I think I'm getting there."
"How about Charlie? He still blaming himself?"
"When he has a drink." I reply. I suspect that Charlie's alcohol consumption has reduced rapidly since we arrived but whenever he drinks too much I can hear him crying out for Fred, the nightmares accompany the alcohol.
"It's better now you're here though, loads."
"How bad was it before we came?" I ask, curious.
"Well…don't tell him I told you but…" She glances around to make sure the shop is empty, it is. "The reserve were thinking of making him attend alcohol counselling."
"Really? Can they do that?"
"Yeah, it's in the contract when you apply, under your mental wellbeing. He was bad, got really drunk most nights, usually took Evie home, slag capitalised on his vulnerability. He's different now, everyone's noticed, anyone who's seen him with Tabitha anyway." I smile and look down at Tabitha.
"She loves him, well, his hair at least." Tabitha loves his red hair and always tries to yank it out.
"You're doing really well, considering the war and everything."
"Thanks, anyway I better go. I'll ask Charlie about Friday."
We say goodbye and Ryan comes and hugs me and then disappears back into the hat box and I leave the shop in the direction of the market.
I buy the ingredients for a chicken curry, knowing that Charlie likes spicy food, and then walk back to the flat.
It's amazing how normal life here has become, if I try I can really pretend that Lavender Brown never existed, it takes a lot of effort though and cracks in my façade are easy to find if you know what to look for.
Charlie.
"…doing much better but if anything like this happens again then we will have a problem, do you understand?"
"Yes sir, it won't happen again." I say, trying to sound more sincere than I feel, I am being told off like I'm still at Hogwarts.
"It better not, you've got a family to think of now."
"I know." I look down, knowing how mad she still is with me.
"I know Gerhard can be…distasteful, especially when it comes to women but he is an asset to the reserve, as are you, and I'd hate to have to let either of you go."
"Understood. I'm sorry." Stefan looks at me for another moment and then motions me to leave his office, which I do, quickly.
It's been a long day and I'm bloody knackered. I spent the morning processing the Ironbelly sample in the lab and then the afternoon doing a medical on her to check if she's got any injuries, which she hasn't.
I grab my bag from the locker room and pull on my jacket before stepping out into the dark and windy night, it's snowing again and I pull on the mittens that Amber made me for Christmas and walk quickly to the accommodation block.
I'm still pissed off about what that dick said but I'm slightly pleased that I broke his jaw, it's fixed now of course but it's nice to know I inflicted damage. All I want to do now is get into the flat, have a shower, have some dinner, and then give Tabitha a bath, it's my night to see to her but if Amber's still pissed off I know I will have lost the right. It's fair enough, I have to keep reminding myself that I'm not actually a father, she's not really my daughter.
"Night Weasley." Just grunts as I pass him, I wave and then run up the stairs and tap on the door with my wand, it opens and the smell of curry greets me, she can't be that mad then.
"Hey." I say, loudly. She walks out of the kitchen with an apron on and some kind of food on her chin. She doesn't look too annoyed, just pretty, and tired. I mean pretty tired, of course.
"Hi, it's nearly ready, ten minutes?"
"Sure, I'll have a quick shower. Nice day?" I hear her confirm and then disappear into the bathroom and have a fleeting shower, just to remove the smell of dragon dung, and put on the fresh clothes that she has placed on the cabinet. She must have forgiven me.
I arrive in the kitchen and she is just putting the plates on the table, Tabitha is in her high chair and she squeals in greeting, Merlin I love that kid. I lean down and give her a kiss on the head and then sit down.
There's a couple of moments of silence before I decide I need to apologise again.
"I am really sorry, about last night." She puts her fork down and looks at me.
"It's okay."
"Really?"
"Yeah, I'm guessing you were trying to defend my honour or something equally pointless and…"
"Defending your honour is not pointless." I say, firmly, she continues as if I hadn't interrupted.
"…and it reminded me that you're a Weasley, just like Ron."
"Ron?"
"Yeah, I forgot how similar you are."
"What's Ron got to do with this?"
"He punched some guy last year for me, Bill had to give him a detention." I smile at the thought.
"Really?"
"Yeah, I might be trying to be someone different but you don't need to be. I'm sorry I got so upset…"
"Don't apologise, it's understandable, I lost control."
"Let's forget about it?" She smiles and I nod.
"Agreed, so how was your day?" She runs through her day, including all of Tabitha's naps and feeds which I'm assuming means that I'll be watching her tonight, and I realise that she is doing much better than I gave her credit for."
"…and Glinda invited us for dinner on Friday night, are you free? I thought you'd approve, getting out of the flat and all that."
"Yeah, great. I haven't had a catch up with Brian for a while, how's Ryan?" The rest of the meal passes fairly quickly and Amber offers to clean up so I can give Tabitha her bath.
I grab the charmed baby bath and put it in front of the fire and then lift Tabitha out of her chair and fly her, like a plane, to the bath. She shrieks and tries to grab my hair.
She loves bathtime, I prepare the bath and lower her into it and then charm bubbles to float around her and she tries to catch them, purring the whole time.
Amber comes in with a tray of tea and sits on the sofa and looks through a crochet pattern book that mom sent her for Christmas. She disappears behind the book and I notice her relax as she gets lost in the patterns.
Tabitha slaps the water with her hand to try and get my attention back and I turn to her and poke her on the nose and then continue to bath her.
"What do you think of this?" Amber asks, turning a mitten pattern to me, it's striped and quite bright.
"Nice, the bright colours are handy on the reserve, it helps us to keep track of each other."
"Doesn't it make the Dragon notice though?"
"They can only see black and white, except the Peruvian ones, we think they can see green as well but we're not sure if they can differentiate between the shades."
"Oh, that's random." She says, making a note and then disappearing behind the book again.
I finish bathing the baby and then dry her and put a nappy and her Dragon baby gro that Drew bought her for Christmas on, it reminds me of something.
"I was thinking, we should take some pictures of her, people do that don't they?" She lowers the book and looks thoughtful for a moment.
"Yeah, good idea, have you got a camera?"
"Somewhere, I'll try and find it later." She nods and then looks down at Tabitha.
"She's changed loads, I should have thought of it earlier."
"I think you had more important things on your mind." She smiles slightly and then puts the book down and slides on the floor next to us.
"Do you think I'm a good mother?"
"No." I reply, the hurt flashes across her eyes so I laugh.
"You're a great mother." Her face relaxes and she laughs.
"Thanks, you're a great father too, you know for someone that I've never actually slept with." I laugh and nod.
"21st century parenting at it's finest!" Tabitha starts crying so I pick her up and feed her before bringing the crib into my room and putting her down for the night. Amber comes in and kisses her goodnight and goes for her bath.
Lavender.
I sink into the bubbles and breathe deeply, the aroma of Lavender fills my nostrils and seems to calm my brain.
I used to hate the nights that Charlie insisted on looking after Tabitha but now I look forward to them. Occasionally I take potions to ensure an undisturbed night but I try to avoid them. My last magical reserve check showed some deterioration, hence why I haven't sent a new sample to Pomfrey, I'd rather not know.
The sounds of Tabitha's giggles float towards me and I smile, she really is a happy baby. I scrub my body and wash my hair, three times, and then step out and put on the charmed bracelet and dry myself thoroughly. It's strange to see my skin without the words and the scars, like I am actually looking at Amber Jones' body.
I pull on my pyjamas and pull my straight black hair into a messy bun before walking out of the bathroom and into my bedroom.
Grabbing some parchment I start a letter to Hermione, Charlie puts them in with letters to Ron, protected by charms of course. I've heard from her a few times and she seems to be doing well, she tries not to write about Hogwarts too much, preferring to fill me in on the other Gryffindor's. They were all told that I wasn't really dead, after a week of them all being distraught.
I argued with the Minister and insisted that they were told, after Seamus got so drunk one night he passed out in the Common Room, McGonagall agreed and they were all informed of my survival. Only Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny and Neville know where I am and who I'm with and I trust them all with my life, and Tabitha's.
When the letter's finished I put it on my chest of drawers and walk into the living room to say goodnight again and then climb into bed.
In my dream I'm standing in a forest, a beautiful forest like the one in fairy tales that Flo used to read me. I can hear sniffling in the corner and I turn to the sound. It's a small dog, some sort of terrier, I smile and walk towards it but someone blocks my path, I look up and see Proudfoot holding Dora.
"Give her to me." I say, very calmly considering the situation.
"Mummy?" Dora says, I look at her and despite her baby proportions her eyes look scared.
"Give her to me, now!" I say, firmly.
"She's mine." Proudfoot replies, tightening his hold on her. "Don't you remember how it happened?"
"I'm dreaming." I say, sometimes that's all it takes to wake me up, the knowledge that it's a dream.
"Can you remember, Lavender?" He asks, I look back and Dora is gone and Proudfoot is closer to me, he takes my wrist and I try to pull away.
"You're not real, I'm dreaming. You can't hurt me."
"Remember how it felt!" He shouts and I jump but his grasp is tight so I can't get away.
"Wake up! I need to wake up!" My breaths come in short and he laughs, it's the laughter I hate the most, the realisation that what happened in that room was just a game for them.
"…wake up, Amber!" My eyes fly open and Charlie is inches from my face. I gasp and sit up so quickly that I head-butt him and he pulls back with a yelp.
"Charlie?"
"Yep…s'alright. You okay?" He reappears rubbing his forehead.
"Yeah…it was a weird one."
"The dream?"
"Yes, I was in a forest and there was a dog and Dora was…"
"Tabitha." His correction brings me back to myself, back to Amber. I look at him and I can tell he's regretting his interruption.
"What happened?"
"Nothing." I reply, sniffing and wiping away my tears.
"Do you want a drink?" Usually I say no but I can still hear Proudfoot's laughter so I nod and throw the duvet off me, Charlie looks surprised but passes me my dressing gown and we walk into the kitchen.
"Tea? Cocoa?"
"Cocoa please. I can do it though…"
"I've got it, I was awake anyway, had a bad dream."
"Oh." I reply, I can't ask him what it was about when I don't talk about my own.
"It was a memory." He volunteers, his back is to me but I can see that he's shaking slightly.
"Are you okay?" He nods.
"When I was a kid we used to go sledging at Christmas, in the hills around the house. One time I was on a sledge with Fred and we flew down the hill, really fast, but when we reached the bottom we hit a tree root and it sent us both flying. I landed fine and crawled over to Fred, he was about seven, I reached him and he was fine but…in the dream he…he wasn't…"
"I'm sorry."
"Not your fault."
"I know, but I'm still sorry."
He brings the cocoa over and we sit in silence for a moment before I look up at him.
"Does it really make you feel better? Talking about it?" He thinks for a moment and I appreciate it because I don't want a flippant I'm-scared-of-McGonagall answer.
"Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't make a difference but…it doesn't make it worse."
"I never had nightmares before the war, I could never even remember my dreams."
"I used to when I was about five, it was just kid stuff like getting lost at the shops and tripping up and things, I used to run into my parents room."
"I don't know what my parents would have done if I'd ran into their room, just called Flo, I guess." My voice cracks at the mention of Flo, even thought it was months ago it still hurts every time I think of her.
"Flo was your house-elf?"
"Yeah, she raised me, I can barely remember my parents before Hogwarts."
"What was Flo like?"
"Bloody mental!" I reply, smiling in spite of the pain through my heart. "She used to tug on her ears when she got excited or worried…" I tug on my own ear and laugh slightly.
"Why didn't you tell anyone about your parents?"
"I didn't know it was unusual, not before Hogwarts. When they left me I was so excited to have an unlimited bank account…I was a different person then, anyway I kept thinking they'd come back. Flo kept telling me they wouldn't be much longer and that I should keep my room tidy. After a year I just got…so angry and bitter about it, I wasn't going to admit to anyone what had happened, that they just didn't care…"
"Did you hear from them after the trial?"
"They sent a letter, the court made them. Basically told them not to contact them…how did you do that?" I ask, wide-eyed.
"What?"
"Get me to talk!"
"Oh, it's part of my natural charm…" My indignant reply is lost in a snort.
"You've been talking to McGonagall more than I thought."
"Nah, just my mother. She's worried."
"I'm doing okay though, aren't I?" I ask, suddenly unsure.
"You're doing really well, much better than I thought. I was bloody terrified! Taking in an eighteen-year-old and her newborn!"
"Why did you?"
"I know what you did, and I'm in the Order."
"What did you do during the war?"
"Not enough…" Tabitha starts crying and he puts his arm out to stop me getting up and then dashes out himself. I sip the Cocoa and he brings the baby in, she puts her arms out when she sees me so I hold her while Charlie prepares the formula.
As Charlie starts feeding her I slip back into my room and into bed, was that talk helpful? Well, I suppose it didn't make it worse.
A/N So we've skipped ahead, what do you think? Is Lavender' recovery progressing as you expected?
Next chapter; Charlie has a close encounter with Sara, Amber misses Lavender and Charlie has a nightmare.
xXMizz Alec VolturiXx- Thanks.
Farrafelpies- Lol.
witchprincess33- Lol, thanks!
LUG-14- Thanks, there's still a few more characters to be introduced.