"Get... off me!" Roger struggled. It had been five minutes since Zim left and Gir, thinking he was a real lollipop, had leaped onto Roger's head and started relentlessly licking his face.
He finally pulled Gir off of his head and set him down.
"Please don't do that."
Gir suddenly burst into tears as he remembered something. "My piggy! My piggy's back at hooome!"
"Your piggy?"
"I gotta go get my piggy now. Bye bye!"
"You can't leave."
Gir threw himself on the ground. "Piggy!"
"Stop crying. You belong to us now. Do you understand?"
"I miss you, piggy!" Gir sobbed.
"Uh- we have many piggies. Thousands of piggies. And they will all be yours if you do what I say."
Gir sprang up. "And some ice cream too?"
"Yeah, sure. Ice cream too."
Gir started to dance happily. "Ice creeeam and pig pig piggies!"
"But first, you have to learn how to serve us, how to take orders. You... don't seem to be too good at that now. We'll start simple. Run five feet, then come back to me."
"We don't carry those. How 'bout a burger?" Gir said.
"Not that kind of taking orders!"
"Oh. It's a taco place then?"
Roger smacked himself in the forehead. "I mean following orders- doing what I say! Not working at a fast food place! Do you understand now?"
Gir shook his head.
"This is going to be harder than I thought."
Meanwhile, Zim and the SIR had just arrived at the base.
"Now, new minion, fetch me a snack."
"Yes, my master!" The SIR was back in a fraction of a second with a bag of chips- chips from Irk, of course. Zim would accept no filthy Earth food.
"It's so nice having someone who listens to me for a change."
"Yes, master. I obey your wishes always."
Zim looked triumphant. "Finally, I can destroy this planet with a useful robot at my side! No longer will that annoying little Gir hinder my efforts with his insanity! NO LONGER! Finally, an evil sidekick worthy of ZIM!"
A week later, Roger and the others had still not succeeded in making Gir serve them. Gir, however, was thoroughly enjoying the snacks and toys the Angullorons gave him in increasingly desperate bribes to make him obey, although he did think of Zim once in a while, wondering why his master had left him, and whether the SIR was playing with his piggy. But Zim had never given him moose rides, or a swimming pool filled with taquitos, right? Right?