A year and a half had passed since their Joining, and nothing made sense to them any more. The lives they knew were memories long past, and the lives ahead of them were blank pages, written daily with blood, ash, wine and in some cases, tears.
Fenris had learned to live finally, not as a hunted dog, not as a former slave that only knew service, pressed upon him by circumstances of birth, ill formed luck, or just what fate had planned for him. He knew he lived when he nearly ended Velanna's life over Sebastian.
Her sneering of the word Shem was too much for him as they sat drinking Orlesian wine, his low tenor echoing her words back, mocking her for the disdain of humans while enjoying their vices. The way she spoke of his prince, the way her eyes danced when she mentioned wanting to see what was so special about human men.
The way her clanswomen would titter about the forbidden...he read intent that wasn't there and before he knew it, his hand was around her heart.
Her words stopped, eyes widened as she saw his arm in her chest... no blood spilled while he was half-in/half-out of the Fade... his brands lighting up the room in a way that made her seem younger in her fear.
He snarled at her, wine staining his lips as he gave her a feral grin. It delighted him to once again feel the stuttering of a heart under his fingertips. It wasn't as if he never did this in battle, but to have the moment, to savor her fear, her tremors as she watched his expression go from pleasantly drunk, even humorous to deadly in the space of a breath thrilled him.
This feeling was his and his alone, none of the companions ever knew why he smiled his half-grin when he divested enemies of their heart.
He snapped his attention back to her, noted how she was as still as a doe in the forest. Not even a flicker of wild magic to defend herself. Likely she never thought she'd be on the receiving end of this particular trick of his.
He matched her stillness, barely moving as he reminded her that his name was well earned, his savagery no mere tale told by others to frighten them off from getting close.
"Prince Vael is not available for your ...attempts at sport fucking a human male. He belongs to me. If I find you looking at him with that doe-eyed expression in an attempt to see what you might be missing, I won't pause the next time. Your heart will be in my hand before you have hit the ground. Nod if you understand."
A brief jerk of the head, nothing more because she didn't want to jostle him while he literally held her life in his hand. She felt his hand sliding away from her, his arm coalescing once more into flesh, blood and bone... eerily clean for having been so deep inside her.
He took his leave of her with only a final glance back as he took the last bottle of wine and went to find Sebastian, his intention to claim him for all to see foremost in his mind.
Sebastian...while he'd made some uneasy friendships, he still loathed the abomination with a passion only matched by his belief. In the time that had passed he'd grown closer to Fenris, first because they were thrown together by fortune, then because they only had each other among those who had willingly joined the Order...and finally because they had grown to know each other, and found that some bonds were pleasurable, desirable even.
No one begrudged them their bit of happiness...it was hard enough to find a reason to smile, or laugh since the uprising had begun. It was only with the elf that he was anything like he used to be.
He learned to laugh once more, to find some spark of joy as he lay with his lover, basking in the moment after hours spent exploring each other, learning that the infamous Grey Warden stamina is no myth.
Tonight he barely had a chance to get in the door before he was set up on by his lover, an odd expression on the elf's face. It took moments to realize he was not pleasantly drunk, but aggrieved about something, and not being very subtle in what he thought he wanted.
Normally, he'd let Fenris have his way when he was in a mood like that but he was warned not to let him start anything that might end up poorly for both of them.
"Fenris... stop it. You are drunk and ready for a fight. Sleep it off." It was bad enough that his lover came stumbling back drunk and angry but he had to fight to get him undressed enough to sleep.
After far too long for his own comfort, Sebastian managed to wrangle the elf to bed and finally to sleep, all while hearing half muttered threats in Trade and swears in Tevinter...his last and first waking thoughts about making sure Fenris didn't drink without him the next time he decided to tie one one with the other wardens.
Thankfully he did not wake to the sound of retching, but he did get to hear the pitiful moaning as sunlight streamed into their room and got his lover square in the face when he rolled over, awake but not quite coherent.
"What hit me...I feel like Aedan used me for sparring practice again. Why am I still half-dressed?" Fenris said as he sat up slowly, a grimace on his face as he realized his mouth tasted like he'd licked the drapes in their room.
He took the goblet of water he was handed with a grateful noise before swallowing half of it in one gulp.
"You hit yourself, or the bottle hit you. You returned in a nasty mood so I did what I could to put you to bed. Who were you drinking with last night anyway?"
Fenris rolled back over, a muttered curse as he continued to feel like a bronto ran him over.
"Velanna...the conversation was not ...it made me angry. I will tell you more when the room is no longer spinning."
"I will return with breakfast and you can tell me about this conversation that had you so riled up last night."
Fenris pulled the covers over his head, swearing at the light that dared to stream in from the high windows. Normally he loved the brightness but at that moment he would have killed for the pitch black of night time.
He remained bundled until he heard Sebastian return to the room. He poked his head out and smiled when he saw that his lover had returned with food and drink for them.
After a shared meal of stew, fresh bread, and strong tea, Fenris felt better than when he'd been wrestled into bed hours before. He watched as Sebastian stripped down to his jerkin and pants then got in bed, holding up the cover in invitation.
"We just got out of bed Sebastian."
The rogue sighed and flapped the covers at him again. "Didn't you just swear at the fact it was daylight. Come and lie back down. I wish to ask you what happened last night, you were in a worse mood than usual after a night spent with the others while in your cups."
Fenris arched an eyebrow at him and reluctantly climbed in bed, his back to his lover and his head pillowed against one of Sebastian's arms. It wasn't the most comfortable way to lay, but it relaxed him for the conversation he knew he couldn't avoid. He sighed as he felt a hand caressing his cheek, then his ear but he tensed as soon as Sebastian broke the silence.
"What happened? You were aching for a fuck or a fight last night. All I could understand was vile witch, mine and some other choice things when you slipped back into speaking Tevinter. What did she say or do that got you so worked up? You know you can tell me anything right?"
Fenris glanced back at his lover, then took a moment to recall the prior night... his memory fuzzy after too much wine, anger that blossomed into a lapse of judgment and a night spent in misery as he fought tooth and nail to show Sebastian why he needed him. He finally spoke, voice low... almost too low for the man curled around him to pick up, yet he spoke his heart and hoped it was enough.
"She … she wanted to have a go at you. I was furious because she never seemed to want anything to do with the human Warden's. She only cared about the few elven Wardens here. I...might have threatened to rip her heart out if she didn't leave you alone. I got a bit possessive."
Sebastian hummed as he considered the elf's words. Something bothered him about the story though. Velanna was never shy in her hatred of humans, him especially since he was noble born. He tapped an idle tune along Fenris' arm while he thought about this turn of events.
After running over the many times Velanna had singled Fenris out for his company, offered to teach him about elven culture, even going so far as to curb her magic around him when she realized it made his brands react... he understood her motivations and it wasn't what Fenris had thought.
He'd been silent so long Fenris had started to fidget, sure that the prince was furious with him.
"Stay still, I was just thinking about what you said. I don't think she wanted me per se. Haven't you ever noticed how nice she is to you compared to everyone else?
She's not even that nice to other Dalish from what I've seen. Stop and think about it Fenris...if not trying me on for sport as you said, what would be her other reason for trying to bed me?"
The elf furrowed his brow as he considered what had been said. He thought about the ways in which Velanna had been nice to him, just as Sebastian had noted. He turned over, shocked at the realization that she liked him, not his partner.
"That... she... how did I never see it?"
"Unless you aren't telling me something about your past, I doubt you'd recognize someone trying to court ye. Granted she's being a bit awkward about it but she likes you, even though you've made it clear how you feel about mages. I'm sure you nearly ripping her heart out nipped that bit of a crush in the bud."
Sebastian caught himself before he laughed at Fenris' expression. It wasn't funny, really but he did think it funny that mages seemed to fawn over the elf when he radiated an aura of menace towards magic users on a good day.
"I had no idea... she'll likely think me a monster like all the others now."
"You know you aren't a monster. Don't speak of yourself that way Fenris, you know I love you as you are and I wouldn't have ye change at all for me. You realize that right?"
Fenris avoided looking at his lover since he was facing away, but he felt the flush creep over his neck and ears. All this time and he still couldn't take compliments. He managed a short nod instead of words that stuck in his throat. He did smile when he felt a nip at one of his ears and a whispered request to turn around.
"Come now... let me remind you how I see you, not as a monster or a slave. Just Fenris."
The elf squirmed at the touches and the rasped plea right at his ear. He turned around and gave Sebastian a brief kiss before he pulled away and sunk to his knees before the prince. He offered himself up in penance for his ill mood the night before and because he wanted to play their game, to reassure himself that Sebastian would take him as he was, both as a free man and when he felt like playing the part of a willing supplicant to his baser desires.
"Will you allow me this Sebastian? I wish you to … take me in hand, remind me that you will have me in all ways. Not merely as your lover but as yours and that you are mine. If you do not wish to do this now, tell me and we can resume the game later."
"If it is what you wish, you shall have it my love."
Sebastian locked the door, and turned to see Fenris kneeling before their bed, head bowed... eyes lowered... voice soft as he waits to take Sebastians orders because he allows it not because he's forced to.
Sebastian finally finding his voice, orders him to disrobe slowly so he can see each bit of sun warmed skin, each line of lyrium that gleams with the same candle lit aura that makes their armour shine in the barely lit room
Once he's stripped of the leather that fits him like a glove, the only thing remaining after being put to bed by his prince, he resumes his posture, kneeling before his prince; his hands resting on his thighs, eyes remaining down as he awaits his next order.
"Strip me and place my gear on the rack. Be quick about it."
"Yes ... Sebastian."
Deft hands remove his armor, the differences in a rogue's set make it easier to divest him quickly until he's just as bare as his lover, eager for their game to continue.
"Fenris, will ye attend me? Unmake me as only ye can? I ...need..."
"I know what you need Sebastian, allow me to give that to you, remind you that I am yours as you are mine."
"Aye...you are mine, show me Fenris. Erase any doubt I might have that you're mine."
Sebastian's quieted by the slow lick up his shaft, a hiss as the elf takes him in and sucks him down slowly, taking his time to relearn every inch of him, map the thick vein and spot right before the head that always makes Sebastian moan for more.
Hands scarred by years of arrowheads, fletching, bow strings rest on Fenris' head, gently carding through his hair at first, but their movements getting more insistent, grasping at the thick white hair as Sebastian arches his hips up just enough to make Fenris have to open wide as he can to avoid choking.
Sebastian pulled back only to keep himself from filling the elf's mouth.. he wasn't ready to finish and he didn't want to miss out on the best part of their game. The way that Fenris moaned wantonly as he was taken, usually on his back so Sebastian could stare into his eyes, see the way they darkened to near pitch blackness as he lost himself in that moment before release
"Get the salve... you're going to need it."
"Yes Sebastian." Fenris found the unscented pot of salve they kept in their room...and handed it to his lover, his gaze expectant... and a smirk on his lips. He draped himself over Sebastian so he could tease his lover's cock while he was prepared.
"Ah, I can't take that ... I'll come in your mouth if you don't stop teasing."
"Part of the game is it not...ser?" Fenris pulled back and smirked at him before he went right back to giving the cock in front of him slow licks, and quick strokes as he felt Sebastian fingering him in time with his teasing.
"That's enough... on your back before I change my mind and just have a go by myself and go to sleep. Keep teasing and I won't play nice with ye."
The elf gave him a smirk, and wrapped his legs around his waist, urging him to fill him completely. This too was part of their play... Fenris would pull, try to get Sebastian to give in to the urge to take him hard and fast while his prince would play coy, take his sweet time entering his warrior and then make him howl in his mother tongue for more, for anything but for Sebastian to stop.
They both pushed and gave, then pulled some more until Sebastian was finally deep inside Fenris, his brogue creeping out while he muttered obscenities that would have made him blush just a few years ago... but now he poured forth wicked things while he took Fenris to new heights of pleasure... until he was begging for more, for Sebastian to make him release... no longer caring who might hear them, he only needed his prince, that moment to break under him to fall into the chasm and have Sebastian follow him
The prince finally yielded... unable to withstand the begging, the howling of his name. He was undone and wanted, needed Fenris to know it. He whispered in the elf's ear... "Let go... for me, let go."
It was enough to make Fenris scream for him, nearly breaking into a sob as he felt Sebastian fall over the edge with him, his thrusts slowing down until they both were panting, trying to breathe in something other than shallow breaths and moans. "Are ye alright?"
A brief nod was his answer, and then and unfolding of long legs from around his waist, and a deep breath before Fenris slipped away to get cloths to clean them off. Once they were sponged off, and cuddled together... Fenris yawned and turned in Sebastian's arms... a lazy grin on his face as he curled closer, enjoying the warmth of his prince, the scent of sex in the room making him content with how his life had turned out... and even more content in knowing that Sebastian was his and not merely using him as others had.
"Surely you're not going to sleep in the middle of the day?"
"I'm tired and we are both off duty today, why not?"
"Tis a fair point, hopefully one of us will awake before we are missed." Sebastian gave him a kiss before settling in for a nap... content and secure in his feelings as always. They would arise later, but for now, rest was the order of the day.