First of all, I'm so sorry that it took me this long to write the second part but I've decided to write another one after this so the story will have 3 parts instead of two. I promise to post the last part by the end of the next week! I hope you guys enjoy this in the meantime!
When Kurt woke up the first thing he felt was guilt. He closed his eyes again and let his alarm keep ringing for a minute before he reached out and turned it off without even looking at it. Instead of getting out of bed he just laid there replaying the events of the previous night in his head.
The more he tried to forget the more vivid every feeling got. He could feel Puck's hands on his hips as if Puck was right there in bed with him; he could feel Puck's skin under his fingertips as if his hands were still sliding up and down that muscled back, as if his fingers were still digging into Puck's shoulders while Puck thrust into him.
He pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes as if that would be enough to push away those memories. The moment he felt his body starting to respond, he quickly got out of bed and ran into the bathroom. He undressed himself rapidly, keeping his eyes downcast so he wouldn't have to look at himself in the mirror and jumped in the shower before the water had even time to warm up.
While the guilt and the remorse were eating at him, Kurt realized that even though he regretted cheating on his boyfriend, he wasn't regretting doing it with Puck and somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew that that was supposed to mean something. He just decided to ignore it.
It took a while before Finn's voice coming from the other side of the door could pervade the fog that was surrounding Kurt's mind.
Loud knocking was followed by, "Kurt! I need to use the bathroom."
"Just a minute, Finn!" Kurt shouted, turning off the water and stepping out of the shower to grab a towel that he wrapped around his waist. He picked up his pajamas from the floor and then opened the door mumbling an "I'm sorry" on his way out. He wished, not for the first time, that he still had a bathroom of his own.
When Finn noticed that Kurt wasn't meeting his eyes, he frowned and reached out, resting a hand on Kurt's shoulder and squeezing a little. "Are you okay?" he asked gently.
Kurt nodded, finally looking up at his step-brother. He tried to put on a smile to reassure Finn that everything was alright but he doubted he actually managed to look believable. "Yesterday I drunk too much and now I'm not feeling too well."
Finn relaxed, released his hold on Kurt's shoulder and smiled. "The punch was pretty strong."
"Yeah." Kurt turned around and walked back to his room. He sat down on the edge of the bed and glanced at his phone sitting on the nightstand looking harmlessly. He wanted to call Blaine and tell him the truth. He really wanted to be honest, but he didn't know how to go about it.
He stood up and walked over to the side of the bed and picked up his phone. He touched the screen thinking about texting Blaine and asking him to come over so they could talk, but noticed that he had a new incoming text from his boyfriend.
He held his breath while he clicked on it.
I'm sorry about last night. I should support you more. Forgive me?
Before Kurt could remind himself that he shouldn't lie about what had happened, he found himself typing: I'msorrytoo.Let'sjustforgetaboutit.
He told himself that after all what had happened with Puck didn't mean anything, that they were both drunk when it happened. He made up hundreds of excuses and he told himself to believe them.
GLEE
One thing Kurt hadn't let himself think about was how he was going to face Puck back at school. He spent the week-end texting with Blaine and Mercedes and carefully pushed every thought of Puck out of his mind, he was almost able to believe that things would just get back to the way they were before.
When Monday arrived Kurt went to school, talked with Rachel and Mercedes between classes, spent his free period helping Finn with Math and was able to avoid Puck for most of the day. He saw Lauren once, while he was heading toward his French classroom, but she was on her own and Kurt briefly wondered if Puck was really going to break things up with her.
When it was finally time for glee, Kurt was almost completely sure that he had the situation under control and that seeing Puck again wasn't going to affect him. The guilt for what had happened was always there in the back of his mind, reminding him that he had waited for so long to have a boyfriend only to ruin everything.
"Where's your mind?" Rachel asked while they walked inside the choir room. "Is everything alright?"
Kurt nodded, walking up to the last row and taking a seat. He put his shoulder bag down next to his feet and crossed his legs.
"Did you have a fight with Blaine?"
It was typical of Rachel to never let go of anything, her numerous attempts at getting back with Finn were a proof of that, and any other day Kurt would have appreciated her insistence because she was just trying to be his friend, but as it was, Kurt was feeling on edge.
"Everything's fine," he said coolly.
Rachel frowned slightly, starting to play with the aim of her skirt while she stared at Kurt. "I saw you two fighting at prom."
"It was just a little misunderstanding."
"But he left you there and..."
"Rachel," Kurt said cutting her off and turning around in his seat to face her. "I'm fine, Blaine is fine, we are fine. There's nothing to talk about, okay?"
She looked as if she wanted to add something and her mouth even opened as if to let the words out, but then she shook her head and got up going to take her usual seat in the front row.
The other members of New Directions quickly started to fill the room, Lauren and Puck walking inside just before Mr. Schue. Kurt busied himself with focusing completely on what the teacher was saying and stopped his eyes from wandering over to where Puck was sitting next to Lauren. Since he and Blaine were okay and Puck and Lauren were back together, Kurt told himself to stop thinking about prom night, that it really didn't mean anything.
GLEE
Kurt and Puck didn't share lots of classes so the only times they saw each other were usually during Glee or lunch and even during those occasions, they always found a way to avoid directly speaking. Kurt focused on auditioning for Jesse and Mr. Schue and organizing the funeral for Sue's sister. After a while things felt normal again. Except for when they didn't.
There were times when Kurt would meet Puck's eyes briefly, while they were walking down the halls or sitting at lunch with the rest of New Directions and in those moments, Kurt felt like they were back in Puck's pick-up. If he concentrated for only a moment, he could still feel Puck's breath caressing his ear, he could feel his fingers sliding through Puck's mohawk, gripping and pulling.
The re-found friendship between Finn and Puck wasn't helping either, it made it harder for Kurt to have a place where he could escape those memories. It wasn't unusual for Kurt to go back home and find Puck already there playing with Finn, sometimes he even stayed for dinner and it started getting harder to play pretend.
"You seem distracted," Blaine noted. He put down his coffee and smiled at Kurt, reaching for his hand over the table. "Problems at school?"
"I'm just nervous for Nationals and we are rehearsing more than usual so I'm tired." Kurt forced himself to smile and squeeze Blaine's hand. "But we shouldn't talk about that, right?" He chuckled. "How is it going with the Warblers?"
"Kurt," Blaine leaned a little closer and looked straight into Kurt's eyes seeming to be looking for something. "Ever since prom you've been different," he said.
"No, I haven't." Kurt pulled his hand away and picked up his coffee taking a sip and letting his eyes wander around the Lima Bean.
"Maybe we should talk about it. We had a fight and we never discuss these things, always pretend they never happened but pretending they never happened doesn't mean they haven't."
The words struck a nerve for Kurt. He put his coffee down and looked back at his boyfriend. "Everything's okay, Blaine. It was just a stupid fight and we should forget about it."
Blaine sighed heavily conceding defeat. He started talking about the Warblers and pretended not to notice that Kurt wasn't even really listening.
Later that day, when Kurt came back from his date, he found Puck sitting in the living room. He glanced towards the kitchen to see Carole already cooking and Burt sitting at the table nursing a beer. Puck was sitting on his own, a book opened in his lap and the TV turned off.
"I'm home," Kurt finally called and Puck glanced up from his book to nod at him in greeting.
"How did it go?" Burt asked.
Kurt shrugged putting away his jacket in the alleyway closet. "Like usual." He walked in the living room and stopped close to the couch staring at Puck with a raised eyebrow, silently asking what he was doing there.
"Puck is staying for dinner," Carole said smiling.
Kurt nodded and sat down next to Puck. "Where's Finn?" He asked trying to ignore the sudden nervousness that overtook him.
Puck didn't look up from his book when he answered. "On the phone with Quinn."
The silence that followed between them was filled by the noises coming from the kitchen and Burt and Carole's quite talking. Kurt wondered why he was still sitting there. Usually, whenever he came back home he would quickly say hello and then go back to his room to change. Yet, there he was, his palms sweaty, his foot tapping nervously on the carpet, his eyes wandering restlessly around the room and trying to ignore Puck sitting besides him. They hadn't been this close since Prom.
"You still with Blaine?"
The question startled Kurt, making him turn around quickly. Puck was still staring down at the book that Kurt noticed in that moment was for Spanish.
"Yeah, of course."
Puck rolled his lips inside his mouth and nodded. "I'm glad you two could make up." Kurt would have found it nice of him to say that if it wasn't for the fact that Puck didn't sound glad at all.
Not knowing what to say, Kurt shrugged and glanced away. "You made up with Lauren." He sounded cold and bothered as if it was any of his business whether Puck was currently in a relationship or not. It took him a few moments to realize that what he felt whenever he saw Puck with Lauren wasn't guilt but jealousy and that just made him feel worse.
There was another pause before Puck snapped his book close. "Is that a problem?"
"No, of course not," Kurt replied quickly, too quickly and when he glanced at Puck from over his shoulder, he found the other boy smirking.
"Good." Puck got up and let his book fall on the couch. He looked down at Kurt for a moment before Finn's heavy footsteps coming down the stairs made him turn away.
Dinner was awkward. Kurt never looked up from his plate, Puck barely spoke two words and Burt and Carole kept glancing between the two boys while Finn kept a steady conversation about Glee club and Nationals. By the time the dessert was served, Kurt was more than ready to disappear to his room.
"Finn make sure the bed is ready for Noah," Carole said while she put the ice-cream down on the table.
Kurt looked up from his cup, his eyes darting around the room. "What?"
"Puck is spending the night," Finn said, "We are working on a song for Nationals."
GLEE
Kurt turned for the tenth time in his bed and finally gave up on getting any sleep. He opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling. It was like just knowing that Puck was sleeping in the room down the hall was enough to make him nervous and apprehensive. He glanced at the door and rolled his eyes at himself.
"It'snotlikehe'sgoingtocomeinhere," he thought. Sighing Kurt sat up in bed and turned on the lamp on his bedside table before getting the new issue of Vogue from the drawer. He opened it to where he had left the bookmark and found himself flipping through the pages without really paying attention to what he was seeing; Puck was the only thing his mind seemed able to focus on.
Finally giving up, he tossed the magazine aside and got out of bed slipping his feet in his slippers before walking out of his room. Being careful not to be too loud, he got downstairs to the kitchen and prepared some warm milk for himself.
"Did you tell him the truth?"
Kurt almost dropped his mug when he heard Puck's voice and the milk spilled over the edge scalding his fingers. When he turned around, Puck was standing in the doorway, his arms crossed in front of his chest.
"What?"
"To your boyfriend, did you tell him the truth?"
Kurt shook his head and sat down at the table. He put the mug down and stared at it instead of facing Puck. After a moment, Puck pulled out the chair next to his and sat down, folding his hands on the table.
"It's not the first time I'm the guy someone uses to cheat." Puck's voice was quite and strangely cold. It made Kurt glance at him and feel as if it was his job to make Puck feel better. "I just never thought you would be like that."
"I didn't want to cheat on Blaine. I don't know why I did what I did and I'm sorry I dragged you into this. When you sat down next to me and talked with me, you made me feel better, Puck." Kurt turned in his seat and tentatively laid a hand on Puck's arm. He waited until the other boy was looking at him before continuing. "I don't.. I'm not sorry it was with you."
"I'm trying to be different, Kurt, I didn't want to be that guy anymore and now," Puck shook his head diverting his gaze and clenching his hands. "Rachel wanted to use me to make Finn jealous and I walked away."
Kurt pulled his hand away from Puck's arm and felt suddenly angry. "I didn't use you, Puck."
"Oh yes you did."
"No, I didn't, I would have told Blaine otherwise."
They didn't speak for a while after that and Kurt was ready to go back to his room when Puck quietly said, "I can't stop thinking about it."
Kurt's voice was lower than usual when he answered, "I know." When Puck turned around and looked at him, Kurt felt the sudden need to kiss him; he bit down on his lower lip to stop himself and clenched his hands into tight fists, digging his nails into his palm and trying to focus on the small pain instead of the overwhelming need he felt to be closer to Puck. "Sometimes I see you with Lauren and I feel jealous and I don't know why because before Prom I didn't care about who you dated, you were my friend and that was that."
"Kind of an eye-opener, huh?" Puck asked smiling a little. "You weren't some kind of experiment, Kurt," Puck confessed, leaning a little closer as if afraid that someone else in the house was going to hear him. "I've been with other boys before but I never saw you in that way. You were the annoying kid I tossed in the dumpster and then Finn's stalker and then Finn's step-brother and then you became a good friend, different from all the others I have." He reached out and placed his hand against Kurt's cheek, his thumb stroking Kurt's lower lip. "But at prom you were so hot and I thought 'What the hell? You're a sex-shark you get turned on by people all the time'."
Kurt laughed, shaking his head.
"And now I'm kind of obsessed."
"You aren't my type either," Kurt told him, and tentatively put his hand on Puck's thigh leaning a little closer. "I mean, you are rude with pretty much everyone and most of the things you say are sexual innuendos but that's not all you are." Kurt turned around in his seat and put his other hand on Puck's right thigh, their knees pressed together. He took a deep breath and said, "You also found Lauren for the glee club, and Finn told me it was you who convinced the football team to do Thriller. I guess what I'm trying to say, is that I'm sorry if I made you feel used and I just want you to know that I stopped thinking about Blaine the moment you kissed me."
He looked into Puck's eyes and felt stripped naked. He realized for the first time how expressive Puck's eyes were and it made him wonder how many other things he had never noticed. Kurt thought about Puck confessing about sleeping with other guys and not wanting to be 'the other boy' and remembered how hard he had tried to be there for Quinn and added everything to what he already knew about Lauren, and getting beaten up from the football team while he was trying to help the glee club, and the way he was awkwardly protective of Rachel. It was like there was another person inside Puck that Kurt didn't really know and he wondered if anyone had ever bothered to look for it before.
In that moment he didn't think about Blaine, didn't think about being a cheater or anything else besides the soft pressure of Puck's fingers on his thighs. His eyes fell to Puck's mouth and he remembered how good kissing Puck had made him feel. He stopped trying to talk himself out of what he really wanted and leaned forward stopping for a moment to give Puck the chance to pull back. It felt like time stopped and he held his breath and then Puck finally leaned closer and when their lips connected, everything started moving again.
Kurt felt his heart beating faster in his chest, felt Puck's fingers squeeze his thighs and Puck's muscles flex under his hands. He got closer and slipped his hands around Puck's neck, his thumbs tracing the strong jawline and dragging across the stubble there.
They broke away to take a breath and then kissed again and again until Kurt felt dizzy and happy. He leaned his forehead against Puck's and let his fingers slip through the base of the mohawk.
They got up in silence and walked upstairs and when Puck kissed Kurt one last time in front of his room, all Kurt was able to think about was that he wanted more and not just the kisses and the sex.
"G'night, Kurt," Puck said quietly before slipping back into Finn's room.
Kurt walked inside his bedroom and flopped down on the mattress thinking that he really had to talk to Blaine because they couldn't keep going like that, it wasn't fair and he owed Blaine the truth. And he wanted to get closer to Puck, wanted to really get to know him, and that was as exciting as it was frightening but he felt ready.