A/N: Don't worry, you'll get what the chapter title means by the end of it. XDD

"What's going on, Mr. Krabs? Am I in trouble?" Spongebob asked as he sat in one of the sturdy chairs facing his boss' desk. Mr. Krabs was facing away from him, putting large stacks of money into his safe from earlier that day. "Was I slacking off too much? Usually I'm not one to slack, but something about today-"

"Settle down, boy-o." Mr. Krabs said, slamming the safe shut and turning to sit down in his chair. "Yer not in any trouble."

"Oh. Then am I getting a promotion?" Spongebob asked, eyes wide with anticipation.

"Well...not a promotion exactly. Think of it more as a...mission." Mr. Krabs said, trying to word his sentences carefully.

Spongebob gasped and began to shudder with excitement. "A mission? You mean like when you asked me to spy on Plankton?" His eyes widened suddenly. "And I'll get to use the spy equipment again!" He stood up on his chair. "I'll be JamesBob BondPants!" He spoke in a deep voice as he saluted his boss.

"Err...ye really should let me finish me sentences whenever we have these talks, lad." Mr. Krabs muttered, mesmerized by Spongebob's bizzarre performance. "I didn't mean that type of mission."

Spongebob's face fell and he slumped back down in the chair. "Oh.." He whispered sadly.

"But I think ye will like what I have for ye to do." Mr. Krabs said, grabbing a dime that was laying on his desk, beginning to flip it in his claws. "Now ye know that the Krusty Krab has made specifications that we only deliver to people in the Bikini Bottom area? Well, that ain't so any more!" He sounded overly excited about what he was about to say. "Now, the Krusty Krab delivers to every known town or city in the Pacific Ocean!" He laughed heartily.

"Wow, Mr. Krabs!" Spongebob was a bit surprised by his boss' sudden decision. "I bet that'll really get business booming here!"

"Exactly. I'll be making more money than I ever did in the past eleventy seven years I've owned the restaurant!" His eyes miraculously turned to dollar signs and he sighed happily. "And as you can imagine, ever since that started earlier today, I've gotten dozens of calls from all over the Pacific to make deliveries! And that's where you come in." He pointed a claw at the young boy.

"How's that, sir?"

"Well, already I've gotten about...twenty or so calls in the past few hours. And after yer done makin' all the patties fer the day, I need ye to make all of them deliveries."

Spongebob's pondered this. "Wow...that many deliveries..." He murmured to himself. "Won't that take a while to go to all those houses? And since some of them are so far away and I still need to make more patties..."

"Well, I suppose if it's too much trouble for ye, I can take ye off the job." Mr. Krabs replied, before getting a sly look on his face. "Or I could rip up yer perfect employee report card and give ye the rest of the week off instead." He folded his arms when he saw Spongebob shuddering nervously.

"Oh, no, sir! I'll make all of the deliveries!" Working himself up, he raced over to Mr. Krabs' knees and got into a begging stance. "P-please don't rip up my report card! I really want to work here the rest of the week, too!"

Mr. Krabs patted the sponge's head, satisfied with himself for coming up with that blackmail. Spongebob wasn't that hard to persuade. "Alright, boy, I won't. As long as ye fill out all of these deliveries." He reached into his desk and pulled out a large stack of papers, filled with orders on them.

Spongebob's eyes grew small as he looked at the thick stack of papers. "Um, sir? I thought you said there were only about twenty?"

"Heh, I guess I underestimated." Mr. Krabs lied, chuckling to himself. "Now, take these, and get to work!" He handed Spongebob the stack of papers.

Spongebob looked at the gigantic heap of orders in his hands and gulped a bit. It would take him a while to deliver all of these. But he didn't want to let his boss down. He smiled at Mr. Krabs and saluted. "I won't you down, Mr. K!" He cried, before dashing off into the kitchen.

"That's me boy, Spongebob!" Mr. Krabs called out after him. After he was sure he was in the kitchen, he sighed contently to himself, thinking of how much money he would earn out of this. "That's me boy..." He whispered to himself, eyes once again turning into those famous dollar signs.

It was now around 6 P.M. Spongebob had just finished the last few Krabby Patties, and had put them into delivery bags Mr. Krabs had made in preparation of this event. There were around forty large bags. Looking at some of the orders, he noticed that some of the fish had requested their dinner come at a certain time. Lots were planned for later in the evening, and for a strange reason, the majority were asked to come to the Bikini Bottom University at around 12 A.M. He could only guess that it was college kids.

Further inspection made him notice that many were all the way across the sea, such as the city Bottoms Up, the home of Squilliam Fancyson and many other rick folk. Some were even farther than that. Looking at the time, he figured if he hurried, he would be able to get a few done. He honestly couldn't see how he would be able to get more than twenty deliveries done in one night with just one employee doing the job.

Then it hit him. If he convinced Squidward to come with him, it would get the job done a lot faster.

"Squidward!" Spongebob called for his fellow employee as he rushed out of the kitchen. "Squidward?"

He found him reclining in the boat, a pillow up against his neck. He was reading an issue of "Boring Digest silently. When he heard and saw Spongebob in front of him, he rolled his eyes. "If this is about your karaoke night, I'm not interested." He murmured, lifting his head for a brief moment and then putting it back down to finish his magazine.

Spongebob shook his head and climbed into the boat. "No, it isn't that. This is more important!"

He snorted at this. "Oh? More important than a karaoke sleepover?" He laughed. "This I'll have to hear."

"Well, you know how Mr. Krabs made that new delivery policy today?"

"Yeah, he told me this morning, why?"

"Well, it's just that I have so many to deliver and...I was wondering if you could help me...?" He asked slightly nervously. He knew Squidward would have no interest in it.

Squidward shook his head. "Why can't you do it yourself?" He asked.

"Because I have so many, and I don't think I'll be able to-" He was cut off by Squidward snapping his mouth shut with his tentacle.

"Spongebob, you're perfectly capable of doing this by yourself. You don't need me." He unclamped Spongebob's mouth and resumed reading. "Now let me relax."

Spongebob's eyes shook and he became fearful of what might happen to his job if he didn't fulfill Mr. Krabs' request. Taking a desperate measure, he grabbed onto Squidward's knees and held them tightly. "P-please, Squidward! I need you to help me! I'm not gonna be able to deliver all of the orders in time! If you don't help, Mr. Krabs might fire me!" He begged, feeling tears coming down. The thought of losing the greatest job in the world was killing him inside.

Squidward laughed a bit. "That'd be even better! I say you don't deliver them." For him, the thought of Spongebob losing his job was heavenly. Well, not really. But because he refused to degrade himself, that's what he always made himself think.

But Spongebob wasn't finished. He looked up at Squidward with watering, pleading eyes. "Squidward, please! I don't want to lose the best job I ever had!" He began to sob uncontrollably.

Squidward looked at the sobbing sponge and shook his head. "No. No. Nope. I'm not getting sucked into this." He folded his arms. "Cry all you want, I'm not helping you."

Spongebob just continued blubbering at Squidward's tentacles, not saying another word. Squidward just sighed and tried to ignore it, flipping to the next page of his magazine. But as the minutes dragged on, the sobs wouldn't let up. The octopus began to become aggravated listening to him. There was something about these particular sounding sobs that weren't causing him to crack like he usually did. They weren't heartbroken, but it was the kind of sob that only Spongebob produced when he worked himself up with worry due to his OCD. Squidward knew that he would stop eventually, but how could he know when that was? The sponge had been known to have crying fests from as little as thirty seconds to seven hours.

Plus...

It would give him a chance to not have to deal with the idiotic customers for the rest of the evening. He would just let Spongebob handle the deliveries, and he could just sit back with his magazine. He also would have Mr. Krabs off his back for some time...

His thoughts were suddenly cut short when he felt something wet, pooling up near his tentacles. Looking down, he saw that Spongebob had managed to fill up about a quarter of the boat with his tears. Slightly grossed out, Squidward pulled his tentacles away, lifting them up from the pool of tears. This caused Spongebob to drop onto the floor of the dinghy, since he had been hanging onto Squidward's feet. Surprised by the sudden change in movement, Spongebob lifted his head, confused. Even though there were visible tears running down his face, he looked more stressed than upset. Once again due to his OCD.

Squidward sighed heavily, dreading what he was about to say. "Ok, Spongebob... I'll come with you." He muttered almost inaudibly. He hated the idea of spending an evening alone with Spongebob for a few hours, but he wanted to get out of the Krusty Krab a hell of a lot more.

Spongebob's face immediately lit up and his frown turned into a large grin. "R-really?" He asked in disbelief, sniffling a little bit.

"Yeah, whatever. But...only on one condition."

"Yes?"

"If I come with you then...you have to take my shift for the next two weeks." Squidward told him, smiling slyly to himself. He hadn't intended on blackmailing Spongebob, but he figured he might as well get something out of the deal.

"Y-you mean..." Spongebob's bottom lip quivered as his eyes dilated. "I g-get to man the...cash register?" He said the last words in mesmerization as he turned around and caressed the old machine.

"Yeah, that's what I mean."

Spongebob shuddered with pleasure and turned back to Squidward, appreciation in his eyes. "S-Squidward...you don't know how happy that makes me...! It's always been my dream to be able to use the cash register..." He gasped slightly. "Are you sure I'll be able to handle it?"

Squidward chuckled to himself. "Yeah, I'm sure you'll be fine." He began to step out of the boat. "Ok, the faster we get these deliveries done, the faster you can start living your insipid dream." He started for the kitchen.

"Oh, yeah! The food!" Spongebob cried, and he raced past Squidward into the kitchen to get the take out bags. When he came back out, holding the bags in his hands, he slipped Squidward a smile as he passed him towards the front door. As the octopus followed him out, he gave him a thankful expression. "Thanks for agreeing to help, Squidward. It really means a lot to me that-"

"Alright, enough with the thanks. Let's just get this over with." Squidward muttered to himself, taking some of the bags from Spongebob's hands, heading out the door. He made his way to the bus stop just a few feet over, figuring that taking a bus to all the locations would be much easier than walking, especially at this hour. He noticed the sun was beginning to set on the horizon.

As the two stood there silently waiting for the bus, Spongebob began to hum idly to himself to pass the time. He bobbed up and down to the tune he was singing. Squidward couldn't comprehend it, as he was singing too quietly, but then he heard a few choice words. "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but chains and whips excite me!"

Squidward's eyes widened, especially because of how loud he had sang it. He covered the sponge's mouth before he could sing any more of it. "Where did you hear that song?" He demanded, not thinking that such an innocent sponge would know a dirty song like that.

"The radio." Spongebob replied with a smile.

"So you even know what it's about?"

"Nope. Can you tell me?"

"It's describing...S&M..." He muttered quietly, blushing a bit to himself a few moments after. Not just because he was explaining it to a younger boy, but because he had had plenty of experience with it himself in high school with a certain octopus. Whose name shall never be mentioned.

"You mean M&M's?" Spongebob asked him, confusedly.

Squidward blinked, bewildered by his stupidity. "No, I mean like..." He blushed even more. Damn that Squilliam Fancyson and his chains and whips... And yes, they did excite Squidward. Very much so. "...Bondage." He finally managed to utter.

"Bandages?"

Squidward slapped his forehead.

A/N: This is so inappropriate. XDD Poor naive Spongebob...