Hey hey!
I decided to update even though I've only got three reviews so far cos I know that people don't really read stories with only one chapter… well I know I don't…
I don't own anything : (
"Edward? Can I talk to you?"
"Sure Bella"
Oh god his smile makes me want to melt. I grabbed his hand and led him up the stairs until we were in his room
"What's up?"
"I just… wanted to talk… is that ok?"
"Of course it's ok. You know I love talking with you" he laughed as he wrapped his arms around me
I didn't feel so dizzy anymore. Sighing, I clung to him for support he didn't know I was in need of. I lent my head back slightly, to see his sparkling green eyes grinning down at me. I could get lost in those eyes. They were the last thing I saw at night before I fell asleep, the first thing that popped into my head when I woke in the mornings. All in all, Edward was beautiful. Before I realised what I was doing, I stood up on my tip toes and pressed my lips to his. Before I knew it, I was on his bed with him looming above me
"Come back" I said quietly as I pulled him closer
Edward lent down to kiss along my jaw until he found my ear
"Do you really think I'll ever be with someone like you? I don't want you. Ever"
Then suddenly I was falling, arms flailing everywhere trying to grab onto something. Onto Edward. But he just stood there laughing and pointing. Then suddenly –
"AGH!"
I sat bolt upright in my bed in a cold sweat. That dream had been more realistic than most. It seemed like my dreams were getting closer and closer to the truth as each night passed. I made a mental note to stop at the drug store on my way home to get something to make me pass out. These dreams were making me crazy.
I looked at the clock on my bedside table. 3am. Shit. Four hours till I had to be up. And there was no way I was gonna be getting back to sleep now. Damn it.
--
I sighed as I stretched my arms up and tucked my hands under my head. All this exercise was starting to take its toll on me. Sneaking out at night, a couple of rounds of sex, sneaking back in, sleeping for a few hours then school. A typical night for me, but the sleep deprivation was finally starting to take effect.
I looked down at the girl snuggled against the pillows beside me. Snuggled wasn't the right word. More like pressed against. God, even in her sleep she was a porn star waiting to happen. I slowly pulled the blankets from around my waist and began to search for my clothes on the ground. Sure Jessica was good in the sack, but it didn't mean I wanted to wake up beside her. There had only been one girl I'd ever wanted to wake up beside. Turns out she only wanted drunken sex from me.
I sighed again as I pulled the shirt over my head. Checking that I had everything, I quietly snuck over to the window. Thank god she was on the first story to the house. I wasn't sure if the sex with her was good enough to risk breaking my neck getting through the window.
Landing with a small thump on the grass, I began to walk to my car parked around the block.
Like I said. Typical night
--
"Oh Bella you look awful!"
"Thanks Alice. Just what I wanted to hear" I said with a small laugh as the small girl helped me out of my truck
"Oh, sorry! I didn't mean it like that! It's just… did you not sleep last night?"
"nightmare. Then I couldn't get back to sleep"
"Oh you poor thing. Here, hold this" she said shoving my bag back into my hands so she could rummage through her handbag, "where is… I'm sure I put it in… ah! Here it is" she said as she pulled a small compact out of her bag
"Al, you know I don't do makeup"
"Shush. It's just to cover those bags. It looks like you haven't slept for weeks"
"It feels like it" I mumbled as she began to dab makeup under my eyes
"There. All better" she said handing me the mirror so I could take a look
I had to admit, I did look better now
"Thanks Alice. You're a life saver"
"You're very welcome. OI!" she yelled suddenly pointing across the car park, "yeah you Edward Cullen. Don't play stupid. Come here!"
I saw Edward smirk as he made his way over to us. I tried to make an escape, but Alice had linked our arms together and it was proving rather difficult to get free. She was surprisingly strong for her small size
"Where were you last night?"
"In bed"
"No you weren't. I went in to look for you"
"I didn't say my bed" he laughed
"Don't get smart with me. You're lucky I didn't go and tell mom and dad"
"You wouldn't, and you know it. You love me" he smirked as he gently kissed her cheek before jogging off to join Jasper and Emmet
"Only cos someone has to" I heard her mumble under her breath
I couldn't help but laugh
"It's not funny Bella. I'm getting worried about him"
"He's a big boy. He can look after himself"
"I know but… I mean, he never used to even look at girls, and then he went out on a couple of dates and told me they were all stuck up and bitchy then BAM! Suddenly he's sleeping around like nobody's business. At first I thought it was just a retaliation to… well you… but I mean, it's been nearly a year since… that… its just gone on for too long" she said as she turned to look at me
"Trust me Alice. It's got absolutely nothing to do with me"
"I just want old Edward back. Our Edward" she said quietly, "we used to have lots of fun. Our whole group. Or even just the three of us. Bella are you ever gonna – "
"Yeah Alice. I will. One day. Just not today alright. Look I've gotta – "
"I'm sorry. I don't mean to bring it up all the time; I just miss the old days. Why don't you come over tonight and we can have an old fashioned movie night? My parents are going away for a 'romantic weekend getaway'. I'll invite Rosalie. Just us girls. It'll be fun"
I glanced over to see the three boys laughing at something and I cringed. A night in the same house with Edward. It seemed more like torture than anything
"Don't worry. Edwards going out tonight"
"I wasn't – "
"Yeah you were. But please?"
"Ok ok, I'll come over"
"Yay!" Alice giggled as we made our way to class
--
Charlie wasn't home by the time I was ready to leave for Alice's. I sighed as I wrote a note for him and stuck it to the fridge.
After spending all day thinking about tonight, I was finally excited. It had been ages since us girls had a night to ourselves.
My truck barely made it up the hill that was the Cullen's driveway. I practically skipped to the door, as a sudden rush of enthusiasm ran through my body. That rush was quickly ripped from me as the door opened
"What do you want?"
"I'm here to see Alice"
"She's not here. She told me to tell you she doesn't want to see you ag – "
"Edward! Don't be such a fuckwit!" Alice said as she pulled him from the doorway, "Come in Bella. Edward was just leaving"
"Nah I wasn't. I've got some time before I have to pick Lauren up for our date" he emphasised the word date as if to rub it in a little more
"Well then go up to your room or something. It's a girl's night"
Edward poked his tongue at his sister before bounding up the staircase to his room
"Sorry he's meant to be going out with – "
"Lauren. Yeah I got that one. Where's Rose?"
"She and Emmet had already made plans. But I guess that got rid of Emmet so it's not entirely a bad thing" she said with a small laugh as she led me into the living room
We both flopped down on the couches and began to argue over which movie we were going to watch first
"I'm in the mood for something funny" I said as I held up my selections
"But I wanna watch something soppy!" she laughed as she threw her pillow at me
"Fine! You make the snacks and you can choose the first movie"
"Deal!" she cried as she got up and ran into the kitchen
I took this as my opportunity to escape to my guest room to get changed. It was my guest room because I used to stay so often that it was practically my second bedroom. The Cullen's were just lucky they had two spares. I threw my bag onto the bed and began to riffle through it for my pyjamas. Checked pyjama pants and a singlet. I'd given up on the whole 'matching' pyjama set when I turned 7, cos it wasn't 'cool' any more. As I rammed my singlet over my head, my ponytail got caught and was half pulled out
"Crap" I mumbled as I made my way out of the room, trying to tie my hair back. In my own little world, I made my way down the hallway
"Watch it" an angry voice growled at me
I looked up to see I was standing toe to toe with Edward
"Sorry I wasn't paying attention"
"You never are" he grumbled as he side stepped me and stormed up the second staircase to his room
"Bella! Movies ready!" Alice called from downstairs
"Coming!"
--
Three movies later, the two of us were a little munted. After the first movie and Edwards's disappearance, Alice decided it would be a good idea for us to start drinking. Pretty soon we actually stopped watching the movies and were just mucking around, telling each other funny stories, or bits of gossip we'd heard
"Someone asked me the other day if Emmet was actually related to Hulk Hogan!" I giggled as I recalled the encounter
"What did you say?!"
"YES!" I laughed way too hard
"Oh my god that's classic!" Alice laughed along with me
A while after we quietened down, she spoke with a quiet voice, "Bella?"
"Yup?"
"Can you please tell me what happened between you and Edward?"
And BAM. Just like that, I was sober. I had put off telling anyone for so long, for fear of reliving the night. But now was the time. It was nearly a year ago, and I really should have been over it by now, but obviously I wasn't
"Ok. Fine. But this stays between you and me. And you can't say anything to Edward either"
"I swear" she said as she crossed herself
"It was the night of your guys 17th birthday. You know that I used to like him more than a friend right?"
"Of course. It was obvious you were into each other" she said, nodding
"Well I was gonna tell him that night…."
(Flash Back) (A/N: you should know that I usually hate doing flash backs but this is the easiest way to explain what happened and what was going on with Bella)
This was it. Tonight was the night. I was finally gonna tell Edward that I liked him as more than a friend. I'd tried many times before, but it just hadn't happened. So tonight was it. No matter what. I was gonna do it tonight.
"Hey Edward"
"Hey Bella" he said as he pulled me in for a hug, and a peck on the cheek
"I… uh… happy birthday" I said before I pulled myself away from him and made my way into the kitchen
Chicken shit. I should have just done it! I paced the kitchen a couple of times, before I felt the pull towards the alcohol. A drink would loosen me up. A little bit of Dutch courage never hurt anyone.
Grabbing a bottle of beer, I downed half of it with a few gulps. Then I began my search for Edward. I had finished my first bottle and had a few sips of my second before I found him. Jessica had pressed him up against a wall and was grinding herself into him. With a deep breath, I shoved my way through the crowd until I was standing beside him.
He turned his head to look at me. He had relief written all over his face, 'save me' he mouthed while he pointed to Jessica who was in her own little world
"Edward? Can I talk to you?"
"Sure Bella" he said quickly pulling himself away from Jessica with a grin
Oh god his smile makes me want to melt. I grabbed his hand and led him up the stairs until we were in his room
"What's up?"
"I just… wanted to talk… is that ok?"
"Of course it's ok. You know I love talking with you" he laughed as he wrapped his arms around me
I hadn't realised that I'd felt slightly dizzy until his arms were around he, stilling me. I let out a huge sigh as I snuggled myself into his chest
"That was a big sigh for such a little lady" he said with a chuckle
I felt the rumble in his chest, and my hands gripped to his shirt front
"Is there something wrong?" he asked, leaning back so he could look at me
I shook my head, too afraid to speak. My eyes trailed from his, to his mouth and back again. It was now or never. I had to do it
I lent up on my tip toes and pressed my lips to his. Edward groaned and pushed back against my mouth, deepening the kiss. My hands trailed down his chest and wrapped themselves around his back, pulling him closer
Edward mumbled something I couldn't hear, before he pushed my towards the bed
Ah. 'Bed'.
I landed on the bed, bouncing a few times before Edward was on top of me. I giggled as he stopped my body from bouncing anymore. He leaned down and kissed me again before pressing his body against mine. I gasped when I felt him against me.
I could feel Edward smirking into my neck as he pressed kisses down my neck and along my collar bone. When he got to the edge of my shirt, he looked up at me as if to ask permission
"You don't have to ask. You can do with me what you will. Happy birthday" I said quietly with a grin as I lent down to kiss him. This time, the kiss wasn't returned, but suddenly ended
"What?"
"Um… happy birthday?"
Edward pulled away from me and sat on the edge of the bed, "I don't want this. This isn't happening Bella"
"What?" I asked, shocked
"You heard me. I. Don't. Want. This" I could tell he was getting annoyed because there was a flash through his eyes
I nodded; trying to keep my tears at bay as I practically ran from the room
(End Flash Back)
"I tried to act like it didn't happen, but it just got too hard. He was angry with me, I was angry with him. I didn't see the point in trying to fix it really… he wasn't ever gonna want me the way I wanted him"
"Wow"
"Wow? I tell you my biggest secret and all you can say is 'wow'?"
"Yeah, I mean… I get it now… I've never understood the sudden hate you had for him but… but if Jasper had of done something like that to me, I'm not sure I would have handled it any better…"
"Yeah. Is it wrong that it still hurts?" I said wiping a stray tear from the corner of my eye
Alice was beside me in an instant, wrapping her arms around me
"No way sweetie. Something like that doesn't heal quickly"
"But it's been nearly a year" I said with a small sob
"But it's so much harder 'cos he's rubbing it in your face everyday"
Alice was right. The fact that he ran around doing everything with a pulse hurt. He did everything but me. I clearly wasn't good enough for him.
"It's just… it's like he takes every opportunity to point out that I'm not good enough for him"
"Don't. Don't you eversay that Bella. You deserve so much better than him"
"You can't say that. He's your brother"
Alice pulled away to look at me, "that's exactly why I'm saying it Bella. You can have any guy you want. You deserve the best. And trust me; Edward won't be annoying you anymore"
"Oh Alice please don't"
"I'm not gonna say anything. I'm just gonna beat him so bad he'll be eating through a straw for the rest of his life"
I let out a small giggle, "please don't Alice. I'd rather just act as though I hadn't told you anything"
"If that's what you want" she said with a small sigh, "I think we should go to bed now. You look knackered"
How'd you like it??
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At least now you know why Bella hates Edward…
Xoxo
GreaseGurl