It's a beautiful day in Konoha, birds are singing, flowers are blooming, on days like this, jinchuriki, should be avoiding civilians. Unfortunately for a three-year-old Naruto Uzumaki, he was chased into the forest of death by an angry mob. Now he was in the forbidden section of the forest. In front of Naruto is an altar with a vial of black fluid.
"You should drink it," said Kyuubi as she, yes she, planned to help her master become the ultimate badass. That's right Kyuubi and Naruto have made contact, and yes Kyuubi is Naruto's slave, she chose to be his slave because she loves him. Anyway he did as she said and drank all the fluid and moved onto the office called, "Devil May Cry."
Inside he finds a large number of weapons, two whips, one white, which resembles a chain with a snake-like head, and one which resembles a grappling hook, with a black chain and a red claw-shaped head (Ophion A and Ophion D). A gun that is hard to describe(wiki/Kablooey). An axe. A pair of cyclone blades. A scythe. A pair of gauntlets that look like boxing gloves. A sword with a flesh and claw-like guard. A cowboy hat. A demonic motorcycle/twin buzz-saws. A set of gauntlets and grieves with eyes. An backpack with short spears and a rose. A set of gauntlets, greaves, mask, and back armor. A set gauntlets and greaves. A guitar with a scythe blade built in. A pair of scimitars with serrated blades and heads on the end of the hilt. A pair of tripartite nunchaku. A sword that looked like it was partially made of flesh. A pair of gauntlets, a broadsword, a claymore, a katana, and a longsword. Two demonic laser guns(Nightmare-Gamma and Artemis) and a demonic briefcase. Kyuubi told him their names (Ophion A, Ophion D, Kablooey, Arbiter, Aquila, Osiris, Eryx, Demon Sword Dante, Dr. Faust, Cavaliere, Balrog, Lucifer, Gilgamesh, Beowulf, Nevan, Agni & Rudra, King Cerberus and Cerberus, Demon Sword Sparda, Ifrit, Alastor, Rebellion, Yamato, Force Edge, Nightmare-Gamma, Artemis, and Pandora).
Kyuubi tells Naruto to approach each weapon, so she can make a mental link with them, and convince them to work with him. After doing as she said, she brings all but the demonic laser guns and briefcase into Naruto's mindscape. He also found a duffel bag, and went upstairs, where he found even more weapons. 4 customized M1911 pistols(Ebony & Ivory, and Luce & Ombra), 2 normal pistols, an enchanted kunai holster full of: throwing daggers, throwing darts, customized grenades, and an underwater crossbow. 2 bazooka rocket launchers with bayonets, a double barrelled revolver, Dual Heckler & Koch l MP5k submachine guns, a grenade launcher, a missile launcher, a harpoon gun, 2 sawn-off shotguns, a sniper rifle, and a one-handed shotgun(Ebony & Ivory, Luce & Ombra, Lady's handguns, Lucia's ranged weapons, Double Kalina Ann, Blue Rose, Dante's submachine guns, Grenadegun, Missile Launcher, Needlegun, Shotgun and Coyote-A, Spiral, and Revenant). He checked the other rooms, and found, 2 pairs of daggers, a pair of heavy blades, a long but weak sword, a short but strong sword, an armor-like glove that was red and blue with the blue glowing, a sword with a motorcycle handle(wiki/Red_Queen), and a lot of high tech gloves(wiki/Devil_Breaker)(Cutlaseer and Klyamoor, Zambak, Merciless, Vendetta, Devil Bringer, Red Queen, and the Devil Breakers). The last things he found were, an amulet with 3 sockets, 3 Tomoe shaped gems, 3 Crescent shaped gems, 3 circle shaped gems, 2 jars with glowing orbs, floating inside, and 60 scrolls(Dmc 2 Amulet, the Chrono, Offense, and Healing hearts, the Quick, Aerial, and Aqua hearts, the Flame, Frost, and Electro hearts, and the souls of Geryon, and Doppleganger)(The scrolls will teach him how to use the weapons, and styles). He then went downstairs, placed the laser guns on his arms, picked up the briefcase and duffel bag, and left the office.
His next stop was the building labeled, "Fazbear's." Inside he found 24 bears, 18 bunnies, 12 chickens, 15 foxes, 18 humans, 5 puppets, 3 endo skeletons, 5 made of stuff laying around, 2 cupcakes with eyes, a jack-o-lantern, a human with spider legs, an elephant, a hippo, a frog, a pig, a beaver, a unicorn and a wolf. They were mostly bipedal and made of metal. Kyuubi told Naruto to follow her instructions on how to fix them. After finishing the repairs, they came to life, they then explained they were the souls of children, possessing the animatronics. After reveling their names and their story, Naruto told them about his life. To say they were mad, is like saying civilians don't know what being a shinobi is like, a fucking understatement. They agreed to help him and stocked up on food and the merchandise. After finding a storage scroll, Naruto sealed the food, merchandise, and animatronics.
Naruto's final stop, was what Kyuubi called, a star fighter(rogue shadow). Entering he found two cylinders with two bottons each(lightsabers). Kyuubi then gives him knowledge of the force and the ability to wield it, the knowledge of the blacklight virus, and the knowledge of the weapons from the dmc office.
Naruto leaves and heads to the hokage's office. Once inside, Naruto goes to see the hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi, who knows about Kyuubi and Naruto's relationship, and tells him about his discovery. Sarutobi gives Naruto the shadow clone jutsu and training ground 13 and a building permit to build a home and business there.