'So I was on my way to Araphen. But I remembered my pa telling me about some sellswords he hired for me. Not that I needed them. They apparently were waiting for me in some village near the border of Pherae and Bern.'

'Oh, and I also got some douchebag who apparently has connections with other douchebags. I think his name was... Merlin? Merlenus? Ah, Merlinus. What kind of name is that?'

"So, this the place we meet up with those idiots right?" Roy asked Merlinus.

"Yep." Merlinus said.

"Huh, ok... Wait, who's that?" Roy noticed a chick dressed as a nun. She bumped into him.

"Ah, I am sorry! I didn't mean to... Wait, you're Roy!" She said.

"No, this is Patrick." Roy said sarcastically.

"Oh praise the Gods in heaven!" She said.

"Uh, sorry ma'am, I'm a Christian, so-" Roy started but was cut off.

"Shut up and listen, my mistress was taken by the enemies in the castle east of here!" She yelled.

"That's hot." Roy said.

"You idiot, not mistress as in a lover, she is nobility!" She yelled again.

"Ok, so uh... Which way is east again?" Roy asked.

The young girl named Ellen pointed to the castle surrounded by enemies.

"Oh... Damn." Roy said.

"Well, I should go kick some ass."

Roy slashed through the enemies, taking them out easily one by one. But then Roy came to a realization.

He was carrying a strange sword that echoed with power. Come to think of it, he felt way stronger too.

"Wow! This feels great! Take this!" Roy slashed at an enemy and the blade was engulfed in flames.

"Whoa, this sword can do that? Damn son, where did I find this? This is going to be lit... Pun intended." Roy said excitedly.

He made it to the boss.

"No! How did...? Wait, just one man!?" He exclaimed.

"Sorry, bud wud, your time is up." Roy said confidently.

"Nooo!" He yelled.

Roy finished him off. His sword was wrapped in flames and it made a satisfying CLANK! Sound.

"Oh, cool. That was all of them." Roy said.

"Roy, we found a woman in the basement of the castle!" Merlinus said.

"Really? Well, that's kinky as hell." Roy said.

"Hey, scrubs." The woman came out of the basement.

"Damn, girl! You lookin like a snack! What's your number?!" Roy asked.

'Wait, number? Where did that come from?"

"Idiot! Bow before me, for I am the Princess of Bern!" She said, immediately clamping her hand over her mouth.

"Um... Forget you heard that!" She exclaimed.

Roy stared at her, mouth agape. "Oh shit! You're Guinevere! Wait, you guys are here!? Dammit, gotta keep you hostage then, maybe... For a bargaining chip?"

"No, no! I am actually nice. My brother is wack though, he wants to start a war on humanity."

"Ok."

They left the castle and Roy was wondering where the mercenaries his father hired for them were.

"Uh... Oh...Ouch..." Roy said upon seeing their dead bodies. They carried the crest of Pherae to confirm they were indeed friendly.

"Well... Guess I'm not eating dinner tonight." Roy said.

'Then we went on our way to Araphen. I met the Princess of Bern, who is not only fine as hell, but also... Huh, I don't know what else. Really that is all she is... Huh.'

o - o - o - o

A/N: Oh god, this was a terrible idea wasn't it?

UNTIL NEXT TIME