A/N: If you're looking for beautiful prose... 'back' is located right next to '=' on your keyboard. If you are a fan of gratuitous profanity (and lots of it), you've come to the right place. Angst level: Red-ish.

Disclaimer: The Twilight Saga is a book series I wish I hadn't read, so that I wouldn't feel the uncontrollable urge to write fics about everything I hate about it in a meager attempt to fix it. That being said, no, I don't own it.

weak as I am, no tears for you / deep as I am, I'm no ones fool

Skunk Anansie, "Weak"

Leah Is No Weakling

(or, Wherein Nothing Nice Is Told About a Certain Alpha and His Imprint)

You know, Leah wasn't always such an insufferable bitch.

No, there was a time when she was actually fun.

They say that changed when Sam Uley dumped her for her cousin. And you know what? That was a dick move. You don't just date your cousin's ex-boyfriend, everyone knows that.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so, very sorry, Leah. If you could just understand..." Sam pleaded.

Leah pushed him hard, but it was futile. His strength was clearly superior to hers. When did he become so fuckin' strong?

"No, I can't understand. Because it makes no fuckin' sense," she shouted, tears already welling up in her eyes.

She couldn't allow herself to cry in front of him.

Aside from cousins, Leah Clearwater and Emily Young used to be best friends. Like, best friends. And, not many people know that, but Emily actually hated Sam for what he did to her cousin.

He came to her house with roses - red, twelve of them - and she slammed the door in his face.

But that werewolf shit is powerful. It's powerful and it makes no fuckin' sense. Leah would love to have someone to blame, but it's no one's fault really. It's just motherfucking destiny or some shit. So, she blames herself. Or everybody else.

When she finds out about the wolf situation - by turning into one - Sam expects her to magically grasp the concept of eternal, will-depriving devotion. You know what, though? She can't. Because whatever the point of imprinting, it still fuckin' hurts and she still hates it. Fiercely.

She is no whiny bitch, Leah. Unlike that Swan chick.

She actually found it hilarious that she sank into a nearly comatose state after her sparkly boyfriend left her, though she nodded acquiescently when her mother mentioned it during dinner.

It was one of those times when Jacob Black - or, the pussy whipped, friend zoned, horny teenage son of Billy Black - whined about Bella and Bella being miserable - and, thus, being miserable himself - and Bella being miserable because Jacob was miserable.

And all of that made Leah fuckin' angry.

Jacob shrugged. "Not everyone's the reincarnation of Ice Queen," he muttered.

And that hurt like a motherfucker.

You would think she'd be less of a cynic - after all, she'd been through the same shit with Sam. But, she guesses, people deal with heartbreak differently. Though, Leah will never - ever - admit she was heartbroken.

She'd rather make everyone else feel like crap than accept the fact that, yes, that bastard fuckin' hurt her when he took one look at her cousin an, poof, instant adoration.

And then she phased for the first time, and everything was supposed to be crystal clear in her eyes.

Except it wasn't.