No one at home can know about tonight…not Dad, not Aunt Becky, not Kimmy. I'm not even sure I'll write about it in my diary. But that's okay, because I doubt I'll forget tonight anytime soon, anyway.

I really hope tonight goes the way I want it to. I've had to hide my feelings for so long, and I just want to show Joey how interested in him I am.

I'll never forget the first time he kissed me. It was more than a year ago, just before I left for my second year of college. During my first year, Joey was the one person I missed more than anybody else, and being able to spend the summer with him almost made me forget the ache - the longing - I'd had for him while I was away at school. At the end of that first summer, I was really dreading having to say goodbye to him again. But how do you tell your dad's best friend that you're in love with him? I went for the subtle approach; I told Joey how much I was going to miss the family, hoping that he'd read between the lines.

When he told me that they would miss me too, I was worried that he hadn't picked up on my hint, so I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head on his chest.

That's when it happened. I could hear Joey's heart pounding as he told me to look at him. I lifted my head as he nervously glanced toward his bedroom door, then he hesitantly kissed me.

I was so glad the rest of the family had gone shopping for school clothes, and as I returned Joey's kiss, I hoped that it would lead to more-ultimately time in the sack-but before I knew what was happening, Joey was pulling away from me, practically begging me not to say anything to my dad.

Of course, I'd never do that to Joey, not when what happened was something we both wanted. To be honest though, I wasn't expecting that reaction from Joey - the kiss, I mean - and it hurt that he ended it so abruptly.

I kept my word. I never breathed a word about it to anybody, and Joey and I never talked about it either. The one guy I've known my entire life and feel the most comfortable with - and I couldn't openly express my feelings for him.

But finally…finally we found a way to get some quality "us" time. It's a good thing Joey's comedy routine is so funny, because that's what brought us together tonight. He's been headlining at a comedy club just a few blocks from my school-which, by the way, is two hours from home-and tonight I was able to catch his act.

The show's over, and it's past midnight. I really should get back to campus, but not before I get Joey alone behind closed doors. I ask him to show me where he's been staying. He starts to refuse, but I just flash an innocent smile and bat my eyelashes as I ask, "What could happen?"

More than you're thinking, hopefully.

Ten for fifteen minutes later, I find myself alone with Joey in his hotel room, and while he's giving me a quick, simplified tour of the place, I'm digging through my purse for a deck of cards.

See, there's this couples' game I've heard of at college; it's similar to strip poker, in that the person with the lowest card removes an article of clothing. A tie means that both people remove something, and whoever ends up naked first must remove what's left on the other player's body.

I explain all of this to Joey, and for a moment he looks like he's going to refuse, but instead he says to shuffle.

As I do so, I breathe a silent sigh of relief. I would love to be the one to remove whatever articles of clothing that might stand between Joey and total nudity…but then again, to be the winner and have Joey completely undress me….A chill runs down my spine.

I hand Joey his half of the deck, and we make ourselves comfortable at the end of the bed. I flip over the 3 of diamonds, and Joey has the 9 of spades. I lean down to remove my sandals. On the next flip, I have the 5 of diamonds and Joey shows the 4 of spades. He bends down to remove his shoes, and I encourage him to remove his socks as well. Third flip: We both reveal a 4, and I easily take off my sweater. Joey struggles to focus on unbuttoning his shirt instead of my chest.

I'd love to be to run my hands up and down his bare chest and belly, to place kisses on his nipples and navel, but I want to finish the game before the real fun begins. Joey and I flip over the next card in our decks; I show the jack of diamonds and Joey has the 10. He unbuckles his belt and drops his pants. I'm almost jealous of the Scooby-Doo image on his boxers for being so close to Joey's penis, because to play with his genitals would be the ultimate prize for me.

He still seems a little nervous, and he asks if I want to keep going, since "we've left so little to the imagination." I don't see the point in stopping; I'd much rather find out what we're missing, and I tell him so.

He slowly reveals the king of clubs, and I turn over the jack of spades. I take off my pants, and I am now left wearing a sheer strapless bra and polka-dotted panties. I'm pretty sure Joey is struggling to keep from stripping me down right now. Silently trying to keep him focused on the game, I flip over another card - the 8 of diamonds. He flips too, revealing the 10 of spades.

I reach behind me to unclasp my bra, which had almost lost out to a bra that hooks in the front. My original thought was to bare my chest as quickly as possible, but then I decided that by choosing a back-clasping bra, if Joey removed it, he'd have to reach behind me to do so, and I liked the idea of having our bodies touching before they were completely naked.

I pull the bra away from my breasts, and after I toss it aside, I reach up to my breasts to separate them from each other…making sure that I pull them up from underneath so that Joey can get a clear view of how full and round they are.

I sit there silently for a moment and watch as Joey stares at my breasts and licks his lips. I clear my throat and smile my most seductive smile as I realize we're both down to one article of clothing. "Last card. Loser takes all…off."

My 10 of clubs trumps Joey's 7 of hearts, and my heart begins to beat faster as he stands to take off his boxers. The hair on Joey's belly leads to dark pubic hair, just above a penis that's about 6 inches long and is practically begging me to make it my plaything. I slept with Steve once while we were still dating - he's the one I lost my virginity to - and I didn't find his penis nearly as appealing as Joey's. And the size of his scrotum…mmm, I can't wait to hold that in the palm of my hand.

He walks over to me and hooks his thumbs in my panties' waistband eases them down my thighs. I part my legs just enough for my panties to separate from my vagina, and as I step out of them, I place my hands on Joey's shoulders to help keep my balance.

Joey stands to his full height as he tosses my panties behind me. I hug his neck and kiss him fully on the mouth. His hands begin rubbing my sides as our tongues interact with each other.

It's not long before Joey asks me to join him in bed. I've been wanting this moment for so long, but now that it's finally here, I'm scared to death. Truth is, when I slept with Steve, he was more forceful than I was expecting; even though I wanted it to happen, I wanted to take it easier and slower than Steve did. I guess I'm kind of afraid Joey will do the same thing. But how do I tell him that?

I pull away, then quickly tug on his penis as I bite my lip. "Joey…I don't know how to say this. I'm not ready for that yet. I don't want to go that far."

Joey pulls away from me too, and he looks hurt…maybe a little angry as well. "Deej, what do you mean you don't wanna go that far? It was your idea to come as far as we have. We're standing in the same room, buck naked, groping each other and making out for who knows how long after a game you wanted to play. If you didn't wanna have sex with me, what was the point of flipping cards and stripping down to our birthday suits?"

I know I should probably tell him the truth, but I'm not really sure how to do that. I guess part of me still sees Joey as a father figure, and I don't want him to know I've had sex before. As I try to come up with another excuse, I take Joey's hand and place it on my breast. I use my other hand to massage his scrotum; I feel his testicles rolling between my fingers, and a shiver runs down my spine. Joey's penis hardens, and I rub the underside for a moment before continuing to play with his scrotum.

With Joey's penis erected and point at me, I get a better look at the tip. He'd been circumcised as a baby, and the tip was so round and smooth, almost pleading with me to wrap my mouth around it and suck on it.

The thought causes my nipples to harden, and Joey takes my uncovered breast in his free hand. He begins to squeeze my breasts, gently opening and closing his hands against my body.

As we continue to massage each other, I whisper to Joey, "I really wanted to see you naked, and I can tell by the way you watched me tonight that you felt the same way. I swear, the next time we're alone, I'll make love to you like no woman ever has." I don't know how many women Joey's slept with, or what kind of lovers they were, but there's got to be a way to make sure I'm better than all of them. I don't know if we'll ever get a chance like tonight, but I do know this: I want more than what I've had.