Two chapters in one day! WOO! The reason for that being that today was a snow day, and I had about 8 hours on my hands. :)
Enjoy!
Chapter 2: Rocky the Rock Man! AKA Dwayne
The fantastic four, aka Lloyd, Genis, Colette, and Kratos, made their way inside the temple. They reached the center of the main floor, and stopped for no apparent reason.
Lloyd turned to Colette. "You've been in here before, right?"
She nodded. "Yeah, but it seems different, somehow."
Lloyd sighed. It's the same exact temple, you know..."
Suddenly, Kratos turned to Lloyd. "Your sword techniques are self-taught, right?"
"Yeah..." said Lloyd, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah, that's why he's so awful at it!" laughed Genis.
"Shut up!"
And they pressed on. After going straight ahead and up another stairway, they came to a magical barrier. Evan after much pushing, shoving and grunting like a upset caveman passing his lunch, Lloyd was still unable to get past.
He tried egain. "UUUUUUUUUNNNNNNGGGHHHHH!" He still couldn't get through it.
"Lloyd, stop. It's no use," said Genis. "You just sound constipated."
"NO!" he yelled. "I WON'T LOSE TO A...WAAAALLL!"
LLOYD OBTAINED THE TITLE: PERSISTENT CAVEMAN
Genis sighed and shrugged. "Well, I tried." He walked away.
Kratos turned to Colette. "The sorcerer's ring is in this temple, correct?"
She nodded. "Oh yeah..."
Lloyd stopped pushing against the wall. "You couldn't have told me ANY SOONER?! WHERE IS THE THING?!"
Colette stared blankly. "Beats me. Sorryyy!"
Genis, the only child in the world who could think at an elevated level of intelligence, facepalmed at Colette's obvious stupidity.
Lloyd just shrugged. "Whatever. Let's go and get it!" he said, pumping a fist into the air enthusiastically.
Genis rolled his eyes. "Now who's bipolar?" he muttered. Once again, he was ignored.
And they were off to find the sorcerer's ston-I mean, ring. After much exploring and sightseeing, they went down a staircase, and came to a room with square holes in the floor.
Colette was stunned. "Wow, look at all the holes!" she squealed.
"That's what she said!" shouted Lloyd, a perverted grin spreading on his face.
Everybody sighed. "This is going to be a long trip..." said Kratos.
Lloyd turned around and saw something shiny on another platform. "Look! That must be the sorcerer's ston-I mean, ring!"
Colette whirled around and saw the shiny ring. "SHINY!" she squealed. "ME WANT SHINY!" She began clawing at the floor, trying to find a way to get the shiny ring.
Everybody sighed, again. "VERY long..."
Lloyd grinned.
Suddenly, a giant rock monster appeared, and ran over to the group, and attacked.
They fought, and won. Then they hoped that the author would be more descriptive, but they were severely let down.
Then the stone-man turned into a solid block.
"NOOO!" wailed Colette. "It turned into a rock! Poor rock man..."
"Um...I think it was always a rock, Colette," said Lloyd.
She just gave him puppy-dog eyes. She stood up, and then suddenly, she tripped over Lloyd's foot. Or air. Whatever. Upon tripping, she fell into the giant block, and she pushed it into one of the holes. The block fell, landing in a gap in the floor below. It fit perfectly. Coincidence? I think not.
Genis shared my thoughts and marked this as plothole #3.
"OH NO!" cried Colette, standing up and looking down into the hole where the rock-now-block-man fell. "Oops..."
A lightbulb went off in Kratos and Genis's heads.
"I see," said Kratos.
"AAAAAAAAAHHH! It BURNS!" screamed Genis, the lightbulb burning through to his eyes. He doubled over, clutching his head.
Lloyd looked at Kratos, still completely lost. "What?"
Kratos sighed. "In order to reach the sorcerer's ring, we must insert the blocks into the gaps in the floor, and they will create a pathway so we may access the platform," he said, Genis recovering.
Lloyd gave him a blank look. "Wha?"
Genis rolled his eyes. "Here, I got this, Kratos. You spend almost your whole life with this guy and you learn how to explain stuff." He turned back to Lloyd. "We gotta move that thing into that other thing, so we can reach that one thing."
Lloyd grinned. "Oh, okay!" And surprisingly, he knew exactly what Genis meant.
Then again, maybe it's not so surprising.
Just then another rock man appeared, and Colette brightened up. "Rocky! You're okay!" She tried to run over and give Rocky a big bear hug, but Kratos held her back. He, Genis and Lloyd fought Rocky and he turned into a big ol' block. Colette became downright depressed.
This continued, until they had created enough blocks and moved them down the holes, that they could reach the ring.
Immediately, Lloyd grabbed the ring and started playing with it. Kratos snatched it before he hurt someone, and inspected it, to see if it could possibly be worth anything. Instead of riches, he found an inscription on the inside.
"What does it say?" asked Genis.
Kratos squinted at the writing, and said, "It says...one ring to bind them...one ring to bring them all in the darkness bind them..."
Lloyd snatched the ring from Kratos's hands and hugged it, snarling. "MY PRECIOUSSSSS!" he hissed.
LLOYD OBTAINED THE TITLE: GOLLUM
Genis rolled his eyes, for the millionth time that day. Kratos gave him a weird look, and Colette stared at the shiny ring like a police officer stares at a doughnut.
Then, they headed out. They went back up to the main floor, Colette tripping the whole way up, and Lloyd had to end up carrying her. He was holding her as far as possible from him, and she was lost in a fantasy of Lloyd and her riding off into the sunset on Noishe. Lloyd was disgusted.
They got back to the strange door, and Lloyd held up the ring. Suddenly, the wall faded away.
Colette was in shock. "WOOOOAAAH..." She gaped like a fish out of water.
"Let's go already! Time is money!" Kratos barked. Everyone stared at him, until he sighed and pushed everyone to a warp pad. They stepped into the warp pad and disappeared.
Moments later, the band of idiots and Kratos were standing in another room, with something like an alter in the middle of it. Colette gaped at all the shinies, and Kratos searched for anything valuable like a bloodhound.
"Do you smell that? This must be the top floor," said Kratos, sniffing his way throughout the room.
KRATOS OBTAINED THE TITLE 'MONEYHOUND!'
Suddenly, bright light shone, and Genis clutched his head and screamed again in pain. A dude with blonde hair and wearing a green and white dress appeared, seeming quite bored and yet energetic at the same time. Like a news anchor.
"CHOSEN OF REGENERATION, COME ON DOOOWWN!" he cried, in a TV announcer voice. "I AM REMIEL! ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR JOURNEY THAT MAY OR MAY NOT END YOUR LIFE?!"
Colette nodded, drooled a bit and said, "Uh huh."
"OKAAAAYYY!" Then, a red ball of light appeared, and inched closer to Colette, very slowly. She stared at it, wishing she could grab the shiny ball. Lloyd started fidgeting.
"Is this thing gonna hurry up or what?" he asked impatiently.
ONE HOUR LATER...
The shiny finally reached Colette's neck and it transformed into a strange looking jewel thing, attaching itself to her neck. She touched it hesitantly, and looked back up at Remiel.
"CONGRATZ!" he shouted. "GO SOUTH AND FACE YOUR DOO-I MEAN, YOUR DESTINYYYY!" He started floating upwards.
"Wait!" said Colette. Remiel stopped and looked at her, obviously bored with her. He just wanted to go home!
"Are you my real daddy?" she asked. Lloyd elbowed Genis, smirking.
"SEE YOU LATER, CHOSEN OF REGENERATION, MY DAUGHTER!" he said, and floated up some more.
"Daddy!" she said. "So you ARE my real daddy!"
"YES, WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS!" he yelled. "NOW GET OUT!" He then teleported away.
"The chosen and I are going ahead," said Kratos, "so get out of here." He stepped onto the warp pad and teleported away.
Colette turned to Genis and Lloyd. "Thanks for helping," she said. "Please come by my house later," she added, winking at Lloyd. Then she followed Kratos.
"I guess that's that," said Lloyd. "Let's go!" Then he and Genis followed Kratos and Colette through the warp pad, to go to Colette's house, much to Lloyd's dismay.
And there's chapter 2! Please Review. Next time, stuffy noses and abusive educators!