DISCLAIMER (Again): some of the lines are directly from the play Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare (Folger Shakespeare Library edition.) I do not own or claim the rights to the play, the characters from Naruto, or Billy Shakes himeslf. I'm just a high school student who needed to relieve a little stress before finals. THIS IS PURELY FANMADE AND I DONT TAKE CREDIT FOR SHAKESPEARES WORKS!!


since fanfiction dot net won't let me use asterisks, quotations marked with a bold 'x' are straight from the play
"ROMEO! HUMORS! PASSION! MADMAN! LOVER!x" Leia called to the mansion, the feast had ended, and Sas- er…Romeo was nowhere to be found. She circled to the back and saw him climbing the wall towards Juliet's room. "I know you're mad that Sakura is Juliet, but what are you doing?"

"She wouldn't leave me alone, so I knocked her out and hid her in the closet" Sasuke called back.

"You WHAT?! SASUKE YOU IDIOT!"

"I'm looking for that Rosaline woman! She is the one I'm supposedly in love with, right?"

"GET BACK HERE!"

"NO! YOU'RE INSANE"

"Fine. I CONJURE THEE BY ROSALINE'S BRIGHT EYES, BY HER HIGH FORHEAD AND HER SCARLET LIP, BY HER FINE FOOT, STRAIGHT LEG AND QUIVERING THIGH"x

Sasuke got distracted by this and fell off the balcony.

"Ow, why did you do that?" he snapped while clutching his head.

"Because thanks to you, we don't have a Juliet for perhaps the most famous scene in Shakespeare! How could you?!"

"You jest at scars that have never felt a wound!"x

"Don't be such a baby, Sakura can't be that bad!"

"She snuck into my room covered in Reddi-Whip one night, it's that bad!"

"Okay, move over." She pushed him aside and began climbing the wall.

"What on earth are you doing?" Sasuke asked.

"We need a Juliet, thanks to you, and I'm out of ideas…" She yelled down at him, already halfway up. Sasuke just stared at her as she continued climbing. When Leia reached the top, she swung herself over the balcony. "Let's make this quick, and don't even think I'm wearing that dress!"

Leia picked up a flower that was sitting on the ledge of the balcony, and tucked it behind her ear. She took a deep breath and began.

"O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name, or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I'll no longer be a Capulet..."x

"Whoa, she's not bad at this Old English stuff." Sasuke thought. "Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?"x

"Tis but thy name, that is my enemy. Thou art thyself, though not a Montague. What's Montague? It is nor hand, nor foot, nor arm, nor face, nor any part belonging to a man...O, be some other name! What's in a name? That which we call a rose would smell as sweet. So Romeo would, were he not Romeo called, Retain that dear perfection which he owes without that title. Romeo, doff thy name, and for thy name, which is no part of thee, Take all myself."x

Sasuke stood looking terrified.

"PSST! Sasuke, it's your line"

"Leia, look out!"

"YOU WANTON, HOW DARE YOU STEAL MY ROMEO" Sakura punched Leia in the stomach.

"Um…Hi Sakura, I guess you're awake-"

"DON'T TALK TO ME!" Sakura looked down at Sasuke. "Sasuke-kun, I'm sorry I wasn't here. Some crazy person knocked me out during the party!"

Sasuke twitched. "Wait, this is my dream, right? Don't I have some say in who is who?"

Leia sighed while hunched over from Sakura's punch. "Sorry Sasuke, that's not how it works. Remember the dream I had where I was submerged in butterscotch pudding? I wanted vanilla but nooo..."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Can we just skip to the next part? I really don't feel like confessing my love to anyone, especially her!" He pointed at Sakura.

"-Sniff-, you're mean, Sasuke-kun!"

"Well, you're useless and annoying!"

"Fine! I'm going to marry Paris. Leia, you can be Juliet and marry that meaniepants!"

Sakura stormed off and Sasuke continued twitching.

"Guess this makes me Juliet…and Mercutio. Oh man, this sucks!"

Sakura suddenly ran back out. "Please, Sasuke-kun! I just wanted to make you jealous! Please say you love me!"

He rolled his eyes. In a monotone, he sighed "Lady, by yonder blessed moon I vow-"x

"O, SWEAR NOT BY THE MOON!x" Sakura threw a rock at him and knocked him backwards.

"What shall I swear by?"x asked Sasuke, still on the ground.

"Do not swear at all! Or if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self, which is the god of my idolatry, and I'll believe in thee."x Sakura was now completely over-acting. Leia at this point had pulled a mission impossible on the wall, and disappeared into the night.

Sasuke was feeling major hatred towards his subconscious, and just stared off into space.

"PSST! Sasuke-kun, now's the part where you try to win my love"

"Actually, can we make this quick? I really need to wake up and get back to my research." Sasuke skimmed through the balcony scene in the book, nodded in some places and rolled his eyes at others. Finally, he closed the book and said "see you at Friar Lawrence's tomorrow" while walking off into the night.

"WAIT SASUKE-KUN COME BACK!"

Sasuke cupped his hands over his ears and hummed to himself while Sakura kept shouted at him.

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