Alex woke up slowly in the unfamiliar bed feeling as though she'd been asleep for years. You'd think I'd be over the jet lag after a week, she mused groggily, repositioning her pillow slightly with one hand without opening her eyes. It was probably the nightmares - a lot of really crazy stuff, but then that was to be expected with the news lately. Dreams were supposed to be a way of making sense of things, and hers had certainly provided an explanation, albeit a bizarre and terrible one. Any explanation for what had happened would have to be pretty horrific. She wondered when she would be able to leave. All of her meetings were canceled of course, and she wasn't exactly thrilled about the long flight, but she really wanted to be home right now. Phone calls weren't the same as being there.

She heard the faint chink of china and wondered if room service was bringing her more of that blasted British tea. All she really wanted was a large glass of ice with a little soda in it. The last time she'd asked for ice they'd brought her about three cubes of it. Every hotel room had its own tea service but she still hadn't found a decent ice-maker. She opened her eyes reluctantly and stared at the unfamiliar ceiling. Normally she enjoyed traveling, but right now all the little things that were usually so minor seemed like glaring reminders of just how far from home she was. It hadn't seemed like a long distance until -

"How are you feeling?" a voice asked. Alex turned to look at the source, screamed, and shot up.

Remus flinched.

"I - ohmigod - I -" Alex pressed her hand over her mouth and tried to collect herself. "I'm sorry - I didn't - I thought you were a nightmare -" The room had started spinning and she broke off and closed her eyes to steady herself.

"I didn't mean to frighten you," Remus told her quietly. Alex told herself that she was behaving like an idiot and took a couple slow, deep breaths.

"It's not your fault," she said with artificial calm. "I was just disoriented when I woke up. I thought –" She couldn't tell him what she thought. "I'm sorry, it had nothing to do with you." Keeping her head was practically her entire job description and she had totally lost it and screamed like a schoolgirl. "Am I at Grimmauld Place?"

"Yes," Remus confirmed, "you've been here a little over a week." He hesitated. "If you'll forgive me, you're still rather pale. Would you like to lie down, or -"

"I'm fine," Alex declared automatically. Then, because there was something about the way he looked at her that made lying very difficult, she qualified it. "Relatively speaking." She propped the pillow up against the headboard and shifted herself further up the bed so she could lean against it, which she did gratefully. She hadn't felt this ill when she was still lying down, but the effort of suddenly sitting up and her minor exertions afterwards had tired her already. "Is Albus around?"

Remus shook his head. "He stopped by earlier, but he's left already." Footsteps pounded down the hall and Sirius galloped into the room, wand in hand. He looked at Remus inquiringly, but it was Alex who answered.

"I'm afraid I'm the one who screamed. There's nothing wrong, I was just surprised there was someone else in the room when I woke up. I'm very sorry if I disturbed you."

Sirius shrugged and put his wand away with a lopsided smile. "No harm done. For a moment I thought we might have a little excitement to break up the monotony." Then, with a sharp look at her that made her inwardly tense, he extended his hand. "I'm Sirius Black. And you are?"

"Please call me Alex," she told, smiling as she returned the courtesy and wondered just what Albus had told them. It's just like a negotiation, she told herself firmly, where you don't have the information you need. All you have to do is avoid committing to anything until you get it.

"Have we met before?" Sirius asked.

"I don't think so, but of course I know of you through Albus," she parried smoothly, before turning to Remus, "and you as well, if you're Remus Lupin?"

"How do you do?"

As Remus took her hand, Alex felt an odd jolt of recognition that had nothing to do with the information in her brain. There was something about his touch - she disengaged her hand at the proper time and smiled again, hoping they couldn't tell how worried she was.

"I'm afraid I've been a great deal of trouble for you, but I really appreciate your kindness in taking care of me." Alex included both men in this with her eyes, but Sirius was the one who responded.

"No trouble at all. Your arrival livened things up a bit," the dark-haired man was now twirling his wand idly between his fingers. "Relieved the monotony. And you can thank Remus for the nursing - he's much better at it than me," he said with genuine affection and a warm glance at his friend. Any minute now they were going to start asking her questions, and Alex tried to think of how to get rid of them for a while - preferably until after she could talk to Albus, which she couldn't do without a wand. She wasn't sure she could figure out how to do it with a wand either, but there was a chance that she could if she could just make them go away so she could think for a few minutes.

"Did I bring a wand with me when I –" Remus nodded toward the nightstand, where that thing was laying. "Oh, good." Now all she had to do was get them to leave her alone.

"The clothes you were wearing have been cleaned, of course, but –" Remus' words gave her an idea.

"I wasn't that attached to them, and I expect they were in rags anyway, but never mind them. What I would really love is a nice long bath, if it wouldn't be too much of an imposition." They couldn't expect to talk to her there.

Sirius seemed to think this was perfectly normal. "I'll have Kreacher get one started for you and see what we can come up with in the way of clean robes. With all the trunks in this mausoleum, there's got to be something that will do. And I'd better let Dumbledore know you're awake." He padded off after he said this, but Remus was frowning at her.

"Perhaps you might want to wait a bit on the bath and take it easy for a while. You've been very ill, you know, and you've only just woken up," he said. Alex admitted to herself that he was probably right, but staying here left her open to visitors. Sirius had just inadvertently solved one of her problems - contacting Albus - but she still needed to stall until she could speak with him.

"I'm sure I'll be fine," she replied calmly. His frown deepened.

"Alex, I'm not sure you'll even be able to walk as far as the bathroom," Remus told her frankly.

"Then I'll Apparate," she said firmly, meeting his eyes to let him know she was not going to back down on this. She could see his concern, but she couldn't afford to yield to it.

"If you're sure –" His reluctance was obvious. "I'll see how that bath is coming."

As his footsteps faded away, Alex forced herself to pick up the wand. As her fingers closed around it, she felt a faint trickle of unpleasant sensation, but she held on to it with determination, and the nastiness faded away.

Alex did Apparate to the bathroom, although it occurred to her after she did that walking might have been safer, even if it was slower and required more energy. Coming so close to death lately seemed to have made her reckless. Once safely alone inside the bathroom she decided she might as well take a bath only to be unpleasantly surprised by how exhausting it was. Raising her arms to scrub her hair left them shaking, and all the up and down in the tub to wet her hair and rinse it was an ordeal. Her body felt oddly as if it belonged to someone else - she hadn't been this thin even in high school - but also as if it were betraying her.

Sirius knocked on the door as she was laboriously drying herself with a towel to tell her that Albus was in the drawing room. Unwilling to risk going down the stairs and belatedly nervous about all this Apparition business, she had called out to him to ask Albus if he would come up. The odd silence before he agreed to do so reminded her how very strange that probably looked, but then it was too late to take it back. Sirius had found her a long green robe that had to be respectable - it certainly covered everything up - and the bathroom was quite large enough to meet in even if it was a bit irregular. All in all, Alex decided as she shakily unlocked the door, they were just going to have to deal with it.

"There you are, my dear," Albus greeted her. She hadn't paid much attention before, but his hair and beard were really very long now. "How are you feeling?" He peered at her very attentively as he asked this, but Sirius, who had shown him up, was just behind him and Alex wasn't sure what to say.

"I'm reminding myself that consciousness is supposed to be an improvement," she returned lightly. "I've been wanting to speak with you, but I'm afraid I forgot to provide for chairs," she said wryly, opening the door wider and stepping back to admit him.

"No problem, my dear," he said, producing two comfortable blue chairs out of thin air. One of them positioned itself directly behind her, so that all she had to do was bend her knees to sink into it, which she did immediately. "I've been wanting to speak with you as well. If Sirius will excuse us," he added, nodding kindly before shutting the bathroom door firmly in the face of his host.

------------------

Sirius strolled into the kitchen, where Remus glanced up at him from the sandwich he was making.

"They're in the bathroom," he reported, throwing himself into a chair and stretching his legs out in front of him. "Dumbledore made it clear that I was not invited. Any idea what the hell is going on?"

Remus carried his sandwich over and sat down to join him. "More questions than answers," he admitted before taking a bite. "I think we'd have heard something closer to the truth if they weren't upstairs comparing notes." Sirius snorted.

"My own house - though I'd be happy enough to be rid of it - and I'm still kept right out of it. Safe from everything but boredom," he said sardonically. Sirius stood up abruptly, shoved his hands in his pockets and started pacing.

"When you're done sulking, let me know," Remus told him thoughtfully, "I want to borrow your brain." Sirius turned to look at him and opened his mouth to retort, but something about his friend's expression stopped him. Instead he grabbed another chair, spun it around, straddled it, and propped his head on his arms facing Remus expectantly.

"I need you to check me on something," Remus told him. "Did anything strike you as unusual earlier?"

"When?"

"When Alex woke up."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "We barely got through the introductions, how unusual could it be?"

"Sirius, please."

"All right, all right." Sirius closed his eyes and seemed to be really trying to think through the very brief encounter. "Smiled too much," he said at last, "distracting with charm. Should have seen that. Done it myself." His old, mischievous grin flashed briefly.

"Anything else?"

There was another silence. "Did she trust us?" Sirius murmured to himself, frowning.

"Why do you say that?" Remus asked immediately. Sirius opened his eyes and looked directly at Remus.

"She didn't pick up her wand right away," he said. "Left it on the table."

"Would you have done that?"

Sirius snorted. "Me? I only set it down when I'm sleeping somewhere safe, and even then I keep it pretty damn close. Always on me when I'm awake."

"That's what I thought."

Sirius was regarding him with interest. "What do you suppose it means?"

"I'd like to know that myself," Remus admitted.

Dumbledore was upstairs with Alex for quite some time, but Remus and Sirius were still in the kitchen when he came down.

"Good evening," he greeted them, "I'm glad to find both of you here."

"Where were you expecting to find me?" Sirius asked sarcastically. The Headmaster ignored this.

"I wanted to impress upon you again the importance -"

"Of staying safely inside Grimmauld Place and not taking foolish and unnecessary chances by setting as much as a toe - or a paw - out of doors," Sirius cut him off brusquely. "Got it."

Dumbledore regarded him sternly over his half-moon glasses. "Of keeping Alex's presence here secret even from the other members of the Order," he finished deliberately. Sirius continued to look resentful. "Except for Severus, of course. Alex has consented to remain here for the time being to convalesce, although other arrangements will be made as she regains a bit more of her strength."

The Headmaster looked at each of them in turn, very gravely. "I hope that you will assist me in making her stay here as untroubled as possible under the circumstances. Alex has been through a great deal, and it would be best if she were allowed to forget about it for a while and simply concentrate on recovering her health. If you need me, you know how to reach me."

--------------

Remus found Alex in the upper hall halfway back to her bedroom, pausing to rest as she braced herself against the wall. With an inarticulate noise, he hurried forward to slip an arm around her for support.

"Why didn't Dumbledore see you safely back to your room?" It wasn't like him at all. Colorless, Alex managed a wry smile.

"It's really not his fault," she said fairly, "it's mine. I guess I was a little overambitious for my first day up, and I didn't want him to see that." A little of what Remus was thinking must have slipped into his eyes.

"You can't expect me to admit to that kind of weakness in the middle of an argument," Alex pointed out reasonably, even though he hadn't spoken. "It would have been either a very underhanded way to win on my part, or it would have given him an excellent excuse to leave before anything was settled." With Remus' support, she was making her way slowly back to her room.

"Why were you arguing with Dumbledore?" he asked in surprise, regretting it immediately as a veil fell behind her eyes.

"You don't approve of arguments? I hear they happen in the best of relationships," she parried lightly. "But I am sorry to have to impose on you like this."

"Giving me an excuse to put my arm around you is anything but an imposition," he replied unthinkingly, and was rewarded with a smile that held genuine amusement.

Where did that come from? That's the sort of thing Sirius would say!

Even though he didn't appear to have offended her, he quickly sought another topic of conversation. "You haven't had any breakfast yet," he realized aloud, "and it's the middle of the afternoon." They had reached the bedroom, where Alex silently rejected the idea of returning to bed and seated herself on a spare chaise lounge in the cavernous room.

"I may even be desperate enough to manage tea," she told him with a comically expressive face.

"Not a fan of our national drink?" he surmised.

"Going to hold it against me?" Although her tone was still casual, the better light where she was seated allowed him to see the faint tightness around her eyes that revealed the strain she was under. He captured the spare blanket from the end of the bed and carried it over to her. Just because she wouldn't go back to bed didn't mean she couldn't doze a little.

"Somehow, I don't think it will be an insurmountable problem," he told her as he handed it to her. He had intended to maintain the slightly playful tone of their conversation, but the words had emerged from his throat with a husky gravity he hadn't planned. He was suddenly aware of how close she was. He swallowed hard and stepped back.

"I shouldn't be very long," Remus said evenly before retreating from the room.

------------------------

Between the two of them, Remus and Sirius managed to scrounge up a light meal that was respectable if uninspired. By common consent, they decided to join Alex rather than taking her a tray. Although she was alert and awake when they entered the room followed by a small assortment of serving dishes, Remus thought she looked a little better. He strongly suspected she had taken a short nap while he was downstairs, but wisely did not mention his suspicion.

Sirius unknowingly reinforced Remus' earlier thought by displaying the bantering charm he remembered from their youth. Alex dealt with it deftly and in kind, apparently enjoying herself without showing any signs of taking him seriously. Remus spoke enough to avoid seeming withdrawn as he observed them, rather pleased with how things were going. Sirius had been much too somber lately, and it was good to see his playful side emerge. By the time they had finished eating, Alex had recovered a little color and seemed slightly more relaxed. He suspected that this was due in part to the fact that neither he nor Sirius had tried to question her - Dumbledore's request that they make her visit as 'untroubled' as possible was still echoing in their ears - and they excused themselves directly after the meal to allow her to get some more sleep.

In the ensuing days, Alex continued to insist on rising, bathing, and dressing every day, but she spent most of the day on the chaise lounge. Although she was outwardly in good spirits, Remus' instincts told him that she found her semi-invalid state more irritating than she let on. He did what he could unobtrusively, trying to find the right balance between keeping her from boredom and from exhaustion.

This task was made more difficult by the fact that Alex seemed to be supporting Dumbledore's efforts to minimize the availability of any information about her. When the Headmaster had spoken to them the day she woke up, Remus had registered the fact that only the three of them - Sirius, Severus, and himself - were supposed to know that she was there. He came to realize later that they were not supposed to know anything more than that.

Even what he thought was an innocuous question about her taste in fiction – the other members of the Order were arriving for a lengthy meeting and Remus had offered to fetch her something to read while she was confined to her room - seemed to be one she could not - or would not - answer. He thought for a moment that she was going to reply honestly - her eyes met his and he felt that odd jolt again - but even as her lips parted to speak something held her back. She masked her eyes and smiled as she told him, "Surprise me," in a playful tone instead.

That moment stayed with him for the rest of the day. While Alex was hidden away upstairs - presumably reading the novel he had selected for her - Remus sat through the meeting struggling to conceal the fact that only part of his attention was focused on the business of the Order. Most of his mind was occupied trying to figure out what was really going on. One moment, Remus would be sure that Alex wanted to talk to him too, that she was as frustrated as he was with whatever the barrier was between them. An instant later he would berate himself for imagining things - there was nothing to support this persistent idea that she felt this connection between them and wished to explore it as he did. The 'obstacle' he convinced himself that he sensed between them was probably nothing more than her lack of interest in getting to know him any further. This conclusion was a painful one.

When the meeting was over, he mounted the stairs as he usually did and felt his stomach clench as he approached her door. He wanted to stop by her room for a moment, just to reassure himself that she was well and say goodnight, but he decided it would be wiser not to and passed it in silence.