Quick Disclaimer: Contains minor profanity and some morbid content. You are forwarned. Also, I have nothing against animal rights activists and giant pink fluffy bunnies. But I wouldn't mind hate mail from them anyway! (Especially from the giant pink fluffy bunnies.)
I... don't own Inuyasha. I am sorry, I just am not that kind of dominatrix girl.
Candy/Tinsir: Yes, you are! Look what you did to that one guy, he couldn't walk for a week after you-- ack, BAD mental picture.
Kotiya: Uhh.. hello, how'd you get in here?
Candy: I needed Miroku, I couldn't go on through lunch without him. Okay, actually he borrowed five dollars from me earlier and I need it back.
Kotiya: Oh, I see. Wanna be a guest on our show?
Candy: Sure... uhh, no whips and chains are involved, right?
Kotiya: Uhhh... yeah, sure, whatever.
Candy: Okay!
Kotiya: Cool! Okay, everyone meet Candy/Tinsir. She will be assisting us today. I just hope she has a strong stomach...
Candy: What is that supposed to mean? Vicky?
Kotiya: Please, Kotiya.
It has occured to me now that in the previous session, Inuyasha said the chicken was good twice. Instead of correcting this, I will expand and add a second plot.
Inuyasha has a rare brain disease that is called Mishiboku Llama Syndrome. (Yeah, it's total bullshit, but Inuyasha doesn't know that.) It causes him to repeat random phrases at embarrassing moments. In order to continue his Shikon jewel shard-searching career, Inuyasha will need to have his brain removed so we can kick it around over a thirty foot high volley ball net for our slimy amusement. We also may have to put his disembodied brain through kindergarten by disguising it as the class guinea pig. Hey, we don't want to leave permanent mental damage on those poor little brats by just tossing a semi-human brain in there . . . well, I do, but it's more fun for them to think it's a guinea pig. Hey, they may never be able to look at a small animal again without cringing into the fetal position on the floor and humming the theme to MacGyver. (Don't ask.) (Does MacGyver even have a theme? o.O)
Inuyasha, flatly: Is all this really going to cure my condition?
Yes, it is the way the experts treat Mishiboku Llama Syndrome.
In order for Inuyasha's body to remain alive, another brain will have to be obtained to replace his own temporarily. So, how about it, Miroku?
Miroku: What?? Why me??
Come on, you can get close to Kagome while in Inuyasha's body....
Miroku: Well, when you put it that way...
Inuyasha: No way! I'm not having that sleazy perv inside of my head!
Fine. Anyone else going to volunteer?
. . . . .
. . . . . . . . .
Anyone here with a gimpy leg that can't run away from me quickly enough??
. . . . . . . . .
Kagome: Hey, what will happen to the person who donates their brain? Don't *they* need one to survive too?
Uhh... heheh ^_^;; Never thought about that one...
Okay, since a human brain cannot currently be [legally] obtained, we will need to find the nearest animal brain. You there, fox-boy!
Shippo: Wh-who, me!?
Kagome: You can't take his brain! He's a supporting character!
Well, what about the kitty? :::Grabs Kirara:::
Kirara, in a hissy mood in the first place (that time of the month) (no, not that you weirdo! It's a full moon) (do cats even go through a PMS cycle?), claws Kotiya up and escapes out of her grasp into Sango's protective arms.
Oooowwiiiee.... :::wince wince sob::: Fine, I'll just take this baseball bat to this conveniently placed baboon right over here...
Naraku: :::glower:::
Sheeesh, talk about looks that can kill.
Naraku: :::glower:::
Just then, a giant pink fluffy bunny (trust me, it's huge, like a hippo) hops across the stage.
Oooooo! Giant fluffy pink bunny! Perfect!!
Inuyasha: Hey, that's a huge rabbit, how the hell is that thing's brain going to fit inside *my* skull?
Don't worry, we can stuff it through the top of your head. That will be gone anyway when we remove your brain.
Inuyasha, reeeaally starting to worry: Is all of this neccessary? I mean, how is repeating a silly phrase once in a while going to affect my Shikon jewel shard-searching career?
Shut up, it just will. *Especially* when it's "Hey, this chicken is good".
Inuyasha: Don't tell me to shut up you stupid bitch!
What... did you call me..? :::several ticks pop up on forehead::: Kagome, Soggy Purple Mushroom Cream!
Kagome: SIT!!
Inuyasha: WHAM!!
Kagome: Hey, what gives, I didn't want to say that!
I know, but whenever I say 'Soggy Purple Mushroom Cream" --SIT!!-- --WHAM!!--, you say "sit" ^_^
Hey, the giant pink fluffy bunny is getting away!! Come back, I need your braaain!
Suddenly, out of no where, (you can even hear the magical *poof* of him appearing out of no where) a messenger boy pops up and hands Kotiya a letter.
Huh? What's this about? . . . "We, the Animal Rights Activists, cannot allow you to kill an elusive giant pink fluffy bunny. We advise you to discontinue, or we will have one of our trained hawks maim you. Sincerely, the Board of Animal Rights Activists" . . . . Damn. Now where am I going to find a brain?
Inuyasha, tiptoe-ing towards back door: I think I'll be going now...
Soggy Purple Mushroom Cream!
Kagome: SIT!! --WHAM!!!-- Argh! Stop doing that!!
I know! There's that dismembered cooked chicken's head! :::pulls chicken head out of no where::: There, we have found a brain! (Hey, I told you the chicken would return in future episodes.)
Inuyasha: A CHICKEN??? You're going to replace my brain with a chicken's???
Just during the procedure. It's okay, we have a special pen made for you, and all the cornmeal and spiderwebs you can peck a beak at!!
Inuyasha: Let's just get this over with. Stupid witch.
I will pretend I didn't hear that. Now, for the buzz saw!
Kagome: Can't you use surgical tools?
Nope, all I could get my hands on were these rusty power tools. Hey, Inuyasha, you have your tetnous shots, right?
Inuyasha: My what?
Now, to give him the gas... :::sprays Lysol into dogboy's eyes:::
Inuyasha: SSHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!!!!???
I'm knocking you out so you don't have to feel the pain.
Inuyasha: YOU'RE GOING TO BLIND ME!!!
Don't worry, we have fifteen minutes to finish the procedure and flush your eyes out with water.
Sango: I don't think that's what this bottle says, you're supposed to flush for fifteen minutes *immediately* after contact with eyes. You're also supposed to call your local poison control center right away.
:::shrugs::: Oh well. That's what the chicken eyes are for.
Miroku: How exactly is spraying that into his eyes going to knock him out?
Easy, he will pass out from the pain.
Miroku: I would think that the sawing open of his skull would be far more excruciating than his eyes stinging.
Good thinking!
Inuyasha: THANKS A BUNCH, MIROKU!
Candy: I don't want to hear his screaming for the next ten minutes, just give him one of these.
Numerous people in unison: Why, it's a super strength sleeping pill!
Kagome: Those are effective right after swallowing!
:::plops pill into Inuyasha's mouth::: --*Gulp*--
. . . . . .
Inuyasha: *snooore*
All right, let's get sawing!!
Well, that's it for this session. Don't worry, we'll continue with our following chapter! And all of the following questions will be answered:
Will the brain transfer go successfully? How will Inuyasha's new chicken-like personality and habits affect his and Kagome's relationship? Just who will kick his brain thirty feet into the air and over the volley ball net? Won't it disinigrate upon landing? How do you say Soggy Purple Mushroom Cream --SIT!--WHAM!!--Stop making me say that!-- in French? What is the cubed root of 97,302.8? And how many angry kindergartener's parents will threaten to sue me for mentally disturbing their children for life?
Stay tuned for these questions answered, and more!
I... don't own Inuyasha. I am sorry, I just am not that kind of dominatrix girl.
Candy/Tinsir: Yes, you are! Look what you did to that one guy, he couldn't walk for a week after you-- ack, BAD mental picture.
Kotiya: Uhh.. hello, how'd you get in here?
Candy: I needed Miroku, I couldn't go on through lunch without him. Okay, actually he borrowed five dollars from me earlier and I need it back.
Kotiya: Oh, I see. Wanna be a guest on our show?
Candy: Sure... uhh, no whips and chains are involved, right?
Kotiya: Uhhh... yeah, sure, whatever.
Candy: Okay!
Kotiya: Cool! Okay, everyone meet Candy/Tinsir. She will be assisting us today. I just hope she has a strong stomach...
Candy: What is that supposed to mean? Vicky?
Kotiya: Please, Kotiya.
It has occured to me now that in the previous session, Inuyasha said the chicken was good twice. Instead of correcting this, I will expand and add a second plot.
Inuyasha has a rare brain disease that is called Mishiboku Llama Syndrome. (Yeah, it's total bullshit, but Inuyasha doesn't know that.) It causes him to repeat random phrases at embarrassing moments. In order to continue his Shikon jewel shard-searching career, Inuyasha will need to have his brain removed so we can kick it around over a thirty foot high volley ball net for our slimy amusement. We also may have to put his disembodied brain through kindergarten by disguising it as the class guinea pig. Hey, we don't want to leave permanent mental damage on those poor little brats by just tossing a semi-human brain in there . . . well, I do, but it's more fun for them to think it's a guinea pig. Hey, they may never be able to look at a small animal again without cringing into the fetal position on the floor and humming the theme to MacGyver. (Don't ask.) (Does MacGyver even have a theme? o.O)
Inuyasha, flatly: Is all this really going to cure my condition?
Yes, it is the way the experts treat Mishiboku Llama Syndrome.
In order for Inuyasha's body to remain alive, another brain will have to be obtained to replace his own temporarily. So, how about it, Miroku?
Miroku: What?? Why me??
Come on, you can get close to Kagome while in Inuyasha's body....
Miroku: Well, when you put it that way...
Inuyasha: No way! I'm not having that sleazy perv inside of my head!
Fine. Anyone else going to volunteer?
. . . . .
. . . . . . . . .
Anyone here with a gimpy leg that can't run away from me quickly enough??
. . . . . . . . .
Kagome: Hey, what will happen to the person who donates their brain? Don't *they* need one to survive too?
Uhh... heheh ^_^;; Never thought about that one...
Okay, since a human brain cannot currently be [legally] obtained, we will need to find the nearest animal brain. You there, fox-boy!
Shippo: Wh-who, me!?
Kagome: You can't take his brain! He's a supporting character!
Well, what about the kitty? :::Grabs Kirara:::
Kirara, in a hissy mood in the first place (that time of the month) (no, not that you weirdo! It's a full moon) (do cats even go through a PMS cycle?), claws Kotiya up and escapes out of her grasp into Sango's protective arms.
Oooowwiiiee.... :::wince wince sob::: Fine, I'll just take this baseball bat to this conveniently placed baboon right over here...
Naraku: :::glower:::
Sheeesh, talk about looks that can kill.
Naraku: :::glower:::
Just then, a giant pink fluffy bunny (trust me, it's huge, like a hippo) hops across the stage.
Oooooo! Giant fluffy pink bunny! Perfect!!
Inuyasha: Hey, that's a huge rabbit, how the hell is that thing's brain going to fit inside *my* skull?
Don't worry, we can stuff it through the top of your head. That will be gone anyway when we remove your brain.
Inuyasha, reeeaally starting to worry: Is all of this neccessary? I mean, how is repeating a silly phrase once in a while going to affect my Shikon jewel shard-searching career?
Shut up, it just will. *Especially* when it's "Hey, this chicken is good".
Inuyasha: Don't tell me to shut up you stupid bitch!
What... did you call me..? :::several ticks pop up on forehead::: Kagome, Soggy Purple Mushroom Cream!
Kagome: SIT!!
Inuyasha: WHAM!!
Kagome: Hey, what gives, I didn't want to say that!
I know, but whenever I say 'Soggy Purple Mushroom Cream" --SIT!!-- --WHAM!!--, you say "sit" ^_^
Hey, the giant pink fluffy bunny is getting away!! Come back, I need your braaain!
Suddenly, out of no where, (you can even hear the magical *poof* of him appearing out of no where) a messenger boy pops up and hands Kotiya a letter.
Huh? What's this about? . . . "We, the Animal Rights Activists, cannot allow you to kill an elusive giant pink fluffy bunny. We advise you to discontinue, or we will have one of our trained hawks maim you. Sincerely, the Board of Animal Rights Activists" . . . . Damn. Now where am I going to find a brain?
Inuyasha, tiptoe-ing towards back door: I think I'll be going now...
Soggy Purple Mushroom Cream!
Kagome: SIT!! --WHAM!!!-- Argh! Stop doing that!!
I know! There's that dismembered cooked chicken's head! :::pulls chicken head out of no where::: There, we have found a brain! (Hey, I told you the chicken would return in future episodes.)
Inuyasha: A CHICKEN??? You're going to replace my brain with a chicken's???
Just during the procedure. It's okay, we have a special pen made for you, and all the cornmeal and spiderwebs you can peck a beak at!!
Inuyasha: Let's just get this over with. Stupid witch.
I will pretend I didn't hear that. Now, for the buzz saw!
Kagome: Can't you use surgical tools?
Nope, all I could get my hands on were these rusty power tools. Hey, Inuyasha, you have your tetnous shots, right?
Inuyasha: My what?
Now, to give him the gas... :::sprays Lysol into dogboy's eyes:::
Inuyasha: SSHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!!!!???
I'm knocking you out so you don't have to feel the pain.
Inuyasha: YOU'RE GOING TO BLIND ME!!!
Don't worry, we have fifteen minutes to finish the procedure and flush your eyes out with water.
Sango: I don't think that's what this bottle says, you're supposed to flush for fifteen minutes *immediately* after contact with eyes. You're also supposed to call your local poison control center right away.
:::shrugs::: Oh well. That's what the chicken eyes are for.
Miroku: How exactly is spraying that into his eyes going to knock him out?
Easy, he will pass out from the pain.
Miroku: I would think that the sawing open of his skull would be far more excruciating than his eyes stinging.
Good thinking!
Inuyasha: THANKS A BUNCH, MIROKU!
Candy: I don't want to hear his screaming for the next ten minutes, just give him one of these.
Numerous people in unison: Why, it's a super strength sleeping pill!
Kagome: Those are effective right after swallowing!
:::plops pill into Inuyasha's mouth::: --*Gulp*--
. . . . . .
Inuyasha: *snooore*
All right, let's get sawing!!
Well, that's it for this session. Don't worry, we'll continue with our following chapter! And all of the following questions will be answered:
Will the brain transfer go successfully? How will Inuyasha's new chicken-like personality and habits affect his and Kagome's relationship? Just who will kick his brain thirty feet into the air and over the volley ball net? Won't it disinigrate upon landing? How do you say Soggy Purple Mushroom Cream --SIT!--WHAM!!--Stop making me say that!-- in French? What is the cubed root of 97,302.8? And how many angry kindergartener's parents will threaten to sue me for mentally disturbing their children for life?
Stay tuned for these questions answered, and more!