Chapter One
Billy Coen pulled the rented Explorer into the driveway, following the crushed shell-covered track about a quarter of a mile before their destination came into view. Behind the weathered wood structure, the sun was sparkling off the ocean like diamonds.
"Wow," the man in the passenger's seat said. "Look at that view."
That view and the white painted bungalow that overlooked it were to be their place of residence for the next three weeks – three weeks of nothing but sun, surf, fishing and each other.
The pair had flown into San Francisco and then taken an airbus shuttle to the Monterey Peninsula Airport before picking up their rental vehicle. The drive to nearby Carmel-By-The-Sea had been nice, the view from the coastal highway almost as nice as the one that now greeted them at their destination. This trip would be the first real vacation that either of them had had in well over two years, and they had every intention of taking full advantage of it.
Edwin had rented the bungalow over the Internet, with only pictures and the realtor's description and assurances to guide him. As he looked out at the sparkling ocean just mere yards away from the small house, he couldn't help but feel that he had gotten his money's worth, even as steep as the price had been.
"Y'know," Billy said thoughtfully as he brought the vehicle to a stop and let his blue eyes scan over their surroundings. "When you told me about how you found this place, I had my doubts . . . but this is nice. Real nice."
"I wanted something in Monterey," Edwin said. "But the realtor kept telling me how beautiful this place was; and that if we wanted to be right on the beach, Carmel was the place to go."
"And we're not that far from Monterey," Billy pointed out, setting the parking brake and turning off the ignition as he released his seatbelt.
"Only a couple of miles," his companion agreed as he too released his safety belt.
Billy nodded, slipping out of the vehicle and stretching slowly. Between the flight, the shuttle, and the drive, he had just about had his fill of sitting for awhile, his body stiff and unused to the lack of activity. As he stretched, his back gave a tiny twinge, and he made a face. Although it had been almost a year since they had neutralized the parasite within him, his physical road to recovery had been a long one, and the deep scars that marred the small of his back occasionally seemed to need to remind him of that, in their own subtle way.
As he got out of the Explorer, Edwin couldn't help but breath in a deep lungful of air, the scent heavy with the smell of saltwater. The medic closed his eyes behind his prescription sunglasses for a few moments as he let the heat of the sun wash over him.
"Three weeks," Billy said, mostly to himself as he took a deep breath and smiled, then turned toward Edwin. He said nothing when he saw the medic just enjoying the sunshine, only watched his lover quietly, deciding he liked how relaxed Edwin was looking already.
Feeling the Marine's gaze on him, Edwin opened his eyes and turned towards the other man, a faint smile finding it's way to his lips. Billy grinned back, tilting back the brim of his cowboy hat slightly as he did so.
The medic's smile widened a bit as he looked at the other brunette, glad to see the Marine looking like his old self again. The past year had been a difficult one for Billy, both physically and emotionally; and while his physical wounds had healed, Edwin knew that not all of his psychological ones had.
At the moment, though, Billy seemed to be doing all right. Intense physical training had given him back his bulk, and running maneuvers with the remainder of his unit had given him back his tan, one that would likely darken during their vacation here.
It had not been easy for Billy to ask for the time off. Between his physical therapy, trying to hone his unit's training now that Kenya Strong had come back to them, and taking up the bittersweet task of finding a replacement pilot for the late Raphael Hopper, Billy simply had had no real personal time to himself. So when Edwin had come to him with the suggestion they try to take some time off together, the Marine had originally balked at the idea. There was simply too much to do.
In retrospect, Billy was glad Edwin was more persuasive sometimes than he was stubborn.
"C'mon," the medic said as he made his way around the front of the vehicle. "Let's check out the inside."
"I'm right behind you," Billy said, shaking himself from his thoughts and following after Edwin.
True to her word, the realtor had left the keys in the mailbox earlier that morning before their arrival. The men made their way through the small cottage-like structure which consisted of two bedrooms, living room, kitchen, bathroom and a small utility room that held a washer and dryer. The kitchen had a sliding door that led out onto a wooden deck complete with a pair of lounge chairs and a barbecue grill.
"All the comforts of home and then some," Billy remarked as they wandered through their rented home, smiling. "Gonna be a nice vacation spot."
Edwin nodded, the medic opening the refrigerator and then a couple of the cabinets, slightly surprised to find that they had been sparsely stocked with some basic items, apparently part of the service provided by the rental company along with the fruit basket on the counter that had greeted them when they had entered the kitchen.
Billy, in the meantime, had made his way out onto the deck, admiring the view and inspecting the barbecue grill. More than pleased with both, he finally leaned in the doorway between the kitchen and the deck, and just let himself enjoy the scents and sights of his surroundings. The ocean was a soothing sound, and he was more relaxed than he had been in nearly a year.
The medic slipped up behind the Marine and rested his chin on Billy's shoulder as he snaked his arm around his waist. Billy all but purred at that, leaning back into the one-armed embrace, tilting his head to let it rest against his lover's.
The pair stood there quietly for a bit, just content to be with one another while the sound and smell of the ocean wrapped around them. "Thanks for talking me into this," Billy finally said quietly, reluctant to break the silence, but feeling the words needed to be said.
"We promised, remember?"
"I remember," Billy replied, pushing gently away from the doorway and turning toward Edwin.
"I was only making sure you held up your end." The medic said softly, a faint smile on his lips as he looked at the other man.
Billy chuckled. "Never thought I'd see the day where you'd be telling me I was working too hard."
Edwin's smile widened a bit. "Must be my bad influence."
That drew an honest laugh from the Marine. "Gotta be," he agreed.
Lifeline looked at Billy for a few moments, smile still lingering. "Why don't we unload our gear," he suggested. "Afterwards we can go check out the beach."
"Sounds like a plan," Billy said with a nod and a smile of his own. He leaned up a little to press a brief kiss to the medic's lips before pulling away reluctantly and making his way for the front door again.
It didn't take very long for them to get their things unloaded and stowed away, suitcases left in the bigger of the two bedrooms to be unpacked later, their fishing rods propped against the wall in the utility room. Edwin took a few minutes to open some of the windows to let in the fresh air.
Once they had brought everything inside, Billy made his way out onto the deck yet again, lighting up what would likely be his only cigarette of the day. He had cut back considerably since the parasite was neutralized, at first because of his extended hospital-like stay, and afterwards because he had managed to get around the bulk of the addiction while he had been a "guest" at the STRATCOM facility. He hadn't really said much about it to Edwin, but he was proud he had gone from nearly a half-pack, sometimes a pack a day, down to only a cigarette or two.
Lifeline followed his lover outside a few minutes later, the sound of waves crashing on the shore of the private beach behind the bungalow. Billy was stretched out in one of the chairs, his cigarette dangling lightly from his fingers, his eyes at half-lids.
Once again, a small smile tugged at Edwin's lips as he looked at the other man, Billy so relaxed and seemingly at home. "You look like you're ready to fall asleep."
"Nah, not quite that far gone yet," Billy murmured, tilting his head up just enough to peer at Edwin from under the brim of his hat.
"The beach can wait if you want to lay out here."
"Nah, I don't mind checking it out." The Marine put out the mostly smoldered away cigarette and rose slowly to his feet. "Might find somewhere out there more comfortable to stretch out, after all. And the walk'll do me good after the trip."
The pair made their way down towards the beach via a set of wooden steps off the deck, trekking through the dune before making it down to the shoreline. It had been quite awhile since Billy had been to a beach, and the sight of the ocean before him took his breath away, stopping him dead in his tracks. Edwin continued on, closer to the water, unaware that his companion had stopped.
Billy shook himself and started after Edwin, but the awe hadn't left him and his steps were slow, the Marine unable to take his eyes from the view before him.
Unlike his companion, who had been born and raised in Arizona, Edwin was used to seeing the ocean, having grown up in Seattle, which boasted a world renowned harbor that led out into the cool northern Pacific waters. Still, the the medic couldn't help but find the sound of gulls wheeling overhead and the crash of the surf along the shore to be as beautiful as the sparkling waters of Puget Sound back home.
When Billy reached the edge of the water, he stopped again and stared, his hands in his back pockets. The roar of the ocean was louder there, but not unbearably so, and he was dimly aware that from where he was standing, the water just barely lapped up onto the toes of his boots. He hadn't really dealt with oceans, or any body of water, very willingly since his ugly experiences in the Umbrella Training Facility. And even once he was a free man, he found rivers and lakes more accessible for fishing. So to see the ocean again like this was to find himself in awe of the power of that water, and the realization of the size of what he was looking at.
After a few moments, Edwin nudged his lover, the two men following the shoreline for a bit, Billy's booted feet leaving deep impressions in the wet sand behind them. They didn't venture too far, not wanting to trespass on anyone else's property, before they turned back to their rented bungalow, the pair walking quietly while the bright sunshine beamed down on them.
"This is nice," Billy said as the cottage came back into view again. "Quiet, private, and you can't beat the view."
"I guess it meets with your approval, then?"
"It means three potentially uninterrupted weeks with you. Alone. On a private beach." Billy gave Edwin a smile that was a barely disguised leer. "You tell me."
"Maybe I should have left you at home." The medic said, nonplussed.
Billy only chuckled and slung an arm around his lover. "Seriously, though," he said, his tone softening. "I'm looking forward to actually getting to spend some real quality time with you. We haven't had much time for that, just lately."
"I know," Edwin agreed. "Part of the job, unfortunately."
Billy nodded, and said nothing more on the subject, keeping his arm around the other man when Edwin didn't seemed bothered by the show of affection. The couple had not seen anyone else during their short trek on the beach, and since they were almost back at the bungalow, the medic let himself indulge in his lover's attention a bit.
Even once they'd reached the cottage, again standing on the back patio, Billy seemed reluctant to give up the embrace, leaving his arm around Edwin and keeping him close. It was nice, he reflected, to be able to indulge his more affectionate side without having to keep up quite the same level of conscious alertness that they often had to back home.
Lifeline turned a bit, hooking his finger in one of the belt loops of Billy's jeans as he looked at the blue eyed man. The Marine looked at Edwin as he turned, finding his eyes locked with his lover's coffee-colored gaze. The medic leaned in and brushed a light kiss over Billy's lips, a faint smile on his face as he pulled back.
"C'mon," Billy said, smiling at the kiss. "Let's go finish unpacking, then we can crash for awhile." Edwin nodded his dark head as he let go of the Marine's belt loop. Quietly, Billy steered them both into the house.
"I appreciate you being able to rent this place to me on such short notice, Miss Trego."
Kathrine Trego just smiled and made a dismissive gesture with her hand. "It's no trouble at all, Mister Foxwell," She said. "It's not every day we get someone of your . . . means who wants to rent one of our humble little cottages."
It was barely an effort to bring what appeared to be a warm smile to the man's face, an expression that only would have been revealed as false if Albert Wesker had not been wearing his sunglasses. A little digging ensured he knew his quarry was on leave, and had reportedly gone on vacation with one Edwin Steen. He also knew that this Edwin Steen had rented one of the bungalows here along this stretch of private beach, and wasted no time in renting one of his own nearby. Not under his own name, of course.
Over time, Wesker had developed several different persona, and Charles Foxwell was probably the one he used the most often, at least when his dealings were going to be mostly legal. He had other, less savory names for his illegal dealings, one of which was his own. But Charles Foxwell had no criminal records, and all of the credit cards Wesker used were in that name. It didn't hurt that Foxwell had money to burn, which tended to loosen tongues and give him access to places he wouldn't otherwise be able to get into.
And he didn't plan on doing anything illegal. For the moment, he simply wanted to observe his prey, and those around him. There was no need to hurry, after all, and if he could keep things quiet for a time, Wesker fully planned to. It served him no purpose at all to draw Coen out, only to draw undue attention to himself. Better to quietly draw Coen somewhere more secluded, where the two of them might play in peace. The thought made Wesker smile even more, the expression not entirely pleasant.
"Er, Mister Foxwell?"
The nervous tone in the woman's voice snapped Wesker from his reverie, and he quickly wiped the malice from his expression. "Forgive me, Miss Trego. I seem to have wandered off somewhere unpleasant."
"Well, with luck, a few weeks here will have you cured of all that unpleasantness," Trego said, grateful to have an excuse to slide into her usual sales pitches again. "I'll just give you the keys and be on my way."
The real estate agent made a hasty retreat that only bordered on insulting, but Wesker was too amused to be offended. With unusually high spirits, he let himself into his rented bungalow and decided this trip might actually find itself enjoyable.
Most of the rest of the day was spent unpacking, rearranging, and just generally making the little bungalow feel more like a lived-in home. Both men took the time to shower, and settled on a meal of cold sandwiches and fruit. It was too warm to make cooking a desirable thing, and when it came down to it, after the trip in, neither of them was feeling up to that particular chore.
Before they had left Cedar City, Edwin had paid a visit to the local bookstore, stocking up on a handful of titles that he had been meaning to read but not had the time to, adding them to his suitcase when he had packed for the trip. After their light dinner, Billy had slipped back out to the deck, presumably to smoke, while the medic had settled on the couch to read for a bit.
Sitting out on the deck of the cottage he and Edwin had rented for their vacation, watching the sun turn the sky and the ocean a myriad of dark colors, Billy decided that he had far too much time to think. And as he often did when he had that kind of time for reflection, he turned his mind to self-criticism. After the past year, he felt he had plenty within himself to be critical of.
While he had known he and his unit would be facing unusually dangerous situations as the bio-weapons specialists for G.I. Joe, Billy hadn't in a million years ever guessed that he would have had a year like this last one. His second had been exposed as an impostor, a Cobra spy sent to keep an eye on him and try to effect his capture. One of these attempts to capture him had wounded his medic, Marcel Hancock, and nearly killed Jocelyn Freeman, one of his sharpshooters. Billy had been exposed as being a bio-weapon himself, something even he hadn't realized until the first time the parasite within him manifested itself. Raphael Hopper, his unit's pilot, had been killed in the line of duty. And Billy, held not only in containment but quarantine, had been unable to deliver the news of the soldier's death, the task instead falling to Scarlett. And, of course, there had been Kenya Strong's request for an extended leave of absence, one that had been granted with the understanding that at the end of the ninety-day period, she had to either come back to duty, request a transfer, or request to leave the military altogether.
All of these things, falling nearly on top of one another, left Billy feeling like he had failed at everything he had turned his hand to since joining the Joes. He wondered, as he often did when his mind traveled down this well-worn path, if Duke and the others had made a mistake taking him on; and if perhaps he would have been better off requesting a medical discharge from the military, and just drifting quietly into obscurity. Even if he hadn't been able to get one before, after all the injuries he had taken in the line of duty since joining the Joes, it would be more than easy to get one now. If not for the physical damage, than for the psychological.
Even so, no one seemed to be blaming him for what had happened. They didn't have to, though. Billy blamed himself, and that was enough. If he had only trained them better, found a way to better prepare them for what they would be actually facing in the field . . .
Billy forced himself to abandon that train of thought before he was able to take it too far. It was a useless one at best. Both he and the Joes were dealing with a lot more than either was used to. The Joes had never really dealt with Umbrella, and Billy had never, to his knowledge, dealt with Cobra before. The fact that both of these organizations had merged into one only meant that both became that much more unpredictable, that much more dangerous. Even Duke had admitted at one point that the Joes were out of their depth, so how could they not accept that he was, too?
That didn't change the fact that Hopper was dead, that Freeman had nearly died, and that he had nearly lost a group of Joes and Rebecca Chambers to a mission trying to recover a cure for his condition. Rebecca had told him about what Edwin had done to save her, and the fact that the medic had had to use his Magnum bothered Billy. He had sent it along for protection, of course, knowing it could down a T-Virus zombie in one shot. But he hadn't actually expected Edwin to have to use it. And the use had cost the medic dearly, traumatizing him in a way Billy both could and couldn't understand. It made Billy wonder often, was he really worth the cost of another person's life? Billy didn't think so, but he'd had little say in the matter. That didn't keep it from weighing on him, however.
And then, of course, there was his son. Billy and Robby had only recently been given a chance to try and make up for lost time, Billy taking the drive into Arizona whenever he had a enough free time. Usually he and the boy spent the day together in town, taking lunch together or going fishing, or something equally mundane and bonding-oriented. Whenever possible, Billy tried to keep these visits as far from Heather as was humanly possible, preferring to try and give Robby a chance to talk to his father away from his mother's unwelcome commentary and criticisms. While Robby understood that much of his father's work was top secret, that didn't keep Billy from musing that the boy had no idea that his father had nearly died twice. And didn't he owe it to the boy to let himself get a medical out, so he wouldn't be in so much danger anymore? But no, he and Robby had talked a few times about that, and Robby was adamant that he was proud of his father, and had even gone so far as to say that he felt safer at night, knowing that his dad was out there with the rest of the Joes keeping the world safe. On the one hand, that had warmed Billy's heart, but on the other, it made him wonder if his son really understood what the price could, ultimately, be.
To be fair, though, things hadn't fallen completely apart. In the long run, Kenya Strong had ultimately decided to stay with Billy's unit, welcomed back with both surprise and elation by all her teammates, Billy included. The real Nina Hutchinson had taken her place as Billy's second, and quickly proved herself to be even more efficient and supportive than her doppleganger had ever been. She didn't seem to mind at all that Billy had been relying on her heavily since she had been released back to full duty. She almost seemed to expect it, and she may well have. She had seen Lakeview, had been a prisoner in the lab beneath it for months, and she knew his history with that place. So it wasn't surprising to think that her patience stemmed from that.
And when it came to him, his unit seemed pleased with his return to full active duty, welcoming him as warmly as if the whole Lakeview incident had never happened. That he had a neutralized Umbrella parasite in his own body didn't seem to bother them, either. They ran his exercises without complaints, often ribbing him when he wasn't quite able to keep up. These bouts of teasing were tempered, however, with assurances that he would be back up to par in no time. And he had recovered, slowly but surely.
The only thing he had left undone before coming on this vacation with Edwin was dealing with replacing Hopper. He had been keeping a close eye on the incoming green shirts, and he had picked a few likely candidates, but hadn't had the heart to pursue it any further than the tentative selection and observation. He'd asked Hutchinson to keep an eye on the individuals he had selected, but not to take things any further than that. It was something he wanted to deal with himself, something he knew he had to deal with himself, and he prayed that he would be in the right mindset to try by the time his three week vacation was up.
He also wanted to try and use the time to make a solid decision on whether or not he actually planned on staying with the Joes. It wasn't like they couldn't get others to train the new recruits, and it might be better for him in the long run, but somehow, it felt like giving up on his unit, and on the chance he had been given to resume his military career. He didn't want to give that up. He loved being a soldier, and he knew that he and his unit could make a difference in the fight against Cobra and Umbrella. But the work they were doing had a very small margin of error, and Billy didn't want to see any more serious injuries or casualties because of oversights or negligence. And didn't that require that he stay where he was, and ensure his unit was better trained for the next time a situation like Lakeview came up?
Billy shook his head. He would think about all that later, he decided, sighing out the last drag from his cigarette and grinding it out. Part of him wanted to get up, but the rest of him protested; he was comfortable and the weather was nice enough to let him get away with staying right where he was. Not to mention the fact that he really didn't want to worry Edwin too much with his musings. He had left Edwin reading inside when he had come outside. His lover tended to lose track of time when he was reading, and Billy was counting on that to keep Edwin from worrying if he came out of his book and found Billy still outside on the deck. Billy knew the medic took it hard when the wounds he was suffering from were emotional, and therefore something he couldn't fix. Billy knew he would recover eventually, and that only time was really going to let him do that.
Just as Billy knew he would, Edwin had become engrossed in his book, the brunette man pausing only long enough to readjust his position on the couch before picking up the thread of words on the pages before him once again.
It meant the Marine was left amidst his thoughts, which continued to gnaw at him until restlessness finally drove him from his lounge chair and he walked quietly back into the house. Lifeline didn't hear his lover's return to the house, his attention completely absorbed in Jared Diamond's latest bestseller, Collapse.
Billy paused long enough to look at his lover, and check the title of the book the man was reading, before smiling a bit and passing through the living room as quietly as he could on his way to the bedroom. He was starting to get a distinct throb in his left temple, the earliest indicator he was in for a hell of a headache if he didn't try to quiet his mind again soon.
It was the failing light coming in from the windows that finally drew Edwin's attention away from his book, the medic glancing down at his watch, blinking in surprise at the amount of time that had passed. Marking his place, he closed the book and set it down on the cushion next to him before rising from the couch, stretching his long lean frame a bit. Moving away from the sofa, he turned on one of the table lamps as he made his way to the kitchen. Looking out the sliding glass door, he frowned a bit when he found the deck empty. The frown still marring his features, Lifeline padded back out into the main room and crossed over towards where the bedrooms were, poking his dark head through the doorway of the room that he and Billy had taken as their own.
The Marine was lying on his side, his back to the doorway. He didn't seem to be asleep, shifting slightly and rolling onto his back when he heard Edwin's footsteps approaching.
Lifeline leaned in the doorway, his dark eyes falling on his lover's prone form. "Ready for bed already?" He asked softly.
"Trying to get the pounding in my head to lay off for a bit," Billy murmured softly back.
Edwin pushed away from the door frame, frown returning as he quietly made his way over to the bed. "Another headache?"
Billy gave a very slight nod, his blue eyes turning up to his lover as Edwin approached. "Yeah..."
The medic gently sat down on the edge of the queen-sized bed. Reaching out, he lightly laid his hand on the Marine's tattooed forearm. Billy closed his eyes as he slowly moved, shifting to lay his head in Edwin's lap. It was only a slightly awkward position, and it made him feel better.
Slipping his hand from the other man's arm, Lifeline brought it up, his long fingers gently sliding into his lover's dark hair.
"It'll pass," Billy said quietly, relaxing marginally at Edwin's gentle touch.
"It's been a while since you've had one," the medic said.
Been awhile since I had one I told you about, Billy corrected wordlessly, but said aloud, "Had . . . a lot of my mind. Seems to happen when I think too much."
"You're on vacation soldier boy." Lifeline's fingers continued to gently thread through the Marine's brunette hair. "You're not supposed to think."
"Hard not to," Billy protested quietly. "I don't have time to think when I'm on duty. Not beyond the drills I run my unit through and trying to find a replacement pilot . . ."
"You've been brooding again."
"I haven't been brooding."
"No?" Edwin asked softly. "Then what were you doing that you've given yourself a migraine?"
"Thinking . . ." Billy said, then paused, hesitating, before he spoke again. The words came hesitantly at first, as Billy tried to collect his thoughts into some kind of coherent form. But he quickly abandoned that idea and just started talking and before he knew it, he was pouring out everything to Edwin, from fears to concerns to the decisions he knew he had to make. Just talking about it made his head throb worse, but he didn't stop until he'd said everything he needed to say.
While the Marine spoke, the medic's finger stilled, his hand slipping away from Billy's coffee colored locks to lightly settle on his chest. Edwin listened quietly, pained by all the things that his lover had kept inside for the past year or so, Lifeline also feeling a bit disappointed that Billy had not confided in him before now.
"And I've wanted to tell you all this, but I didn't want to upset you, or burden you with it . . . but goddamn it, I don't think I can take this much longer," Billy finally concluded in a hoarse whisper, his hand coming to settle on Edwin's.
Lifeline squeezed his dark eyes closed for a moment. "You did the best that you could under the circumstances, Billy." He said after a few long quiet moments, his voice soft. "Which is all that anyone could do."
"Just seems like there should've been something more . . ." Then his eyes opened and he looked up at the medic. "Do you think I made a mistake? Joining the Joes, I mean? Do you think I made the right choice?"
"Maybe you should ask yourself why you joined them." Lifeline replied after several long moments. "I'm not vain enough to think that you did it for me."
"No," Billy said, shaking his head. "You were a factor, but there was more to it than that . . ." He was silent for a moment. "When I found out about Umbrella and Cobra . . . saw how unprepared for the B.O.W.s you guys were . . . I-I couldn't just sit by and not jump on an offer like that . . ."
"Do you still think that was a good reason?"
Billy nodded. "I think so . . . but I just don't feel like I've managed to follow through that well..."
"This alliance between Cobra and Umbrella took us all off guard," Lifeline said quietly. "But just think of where we'd be without you."
The Marine was silent for a time, considering that. "I . . . hadn't really thought about that," he said softly, opening his eyes and looking up at his lover. "All I keep thinking about is Freeman, and Hopper . . . about what almost happened to Rebecca, and about you . . . None of this would've happened if it weren't for me . . ."
"You don't know that . . ."
"The hell I don't," Billy said. "Freeman was hurt when Cobra ambushed us trying to capture me. Hopper and the rest of you would have never gone into Lakeview if it weren't for that . . . that damned thing in me . . ." Billy's voice was starting to shake a little.
Edwin's dark eyes squeezed shut for a few moments. "We all made a choice," he started after a few moments, his voice soft. "to do what we did."
". . . You shouldn't have had to . . ." Billy shifted, sitting up slowly, ignoring the pounding in his head as he wrapped both arms around his lover and pulled him desperately close.
Lifeline slid his arms around the other man, one around the Marine's waist the other sliding up his back to cradle the back of Billy's head. "None of what happened was your fault, Billy."
The Marine buried his head against Edwin's shoulder, feeling hot tears stinging at the back of his eyes and trying with all his might not to give into them. "It just feels like it," he managed to murmur, his voice hitching a little as he spoke.
"I know things haven't worked out quite the way they were supposed to, but nobody is blaming you for that." The medic whispered.
"No?" Billy's tone was tentative, hardly daring to let himself believe the words he was hearing.
Edwin's arm tightened around the Marine a bit. "You did all that you could," he said. "And the rest of us did what we had to."
Billy nodded and then his arms tightened around Edwin a little. ". . . I've still gotta find a new recruit, though . . ." he said softly. "I'm not looking forward to that . . ."
"I know," the medic agreed softly. "It won't be easy; but you'll find the right one."
Sighing heavily, Billy shook his head a little and looked up at Edwin. "Listen to me," he said, meeting the other man's eyes. "Sitting here on vacation whining like this . . . I'm sorry, Edwin."
Lifeline slid his hand from the back of his lover's head, bringing it forward to cup the side of the Marine's face. He shook his head a little. "There's nothing to be sorry for."He said softly, his brown eyes gentle as he looked at Billy.
Billy met that gaze, his own eyes intense as he seemed to be looking for something. How long he sat, staring into Edwin's eyes, the Marine wasn't sure. But he found what he was looking for and dropped his own eyes abruptly, smiling a little. "I . . . I know it'll get better . . . I just . . . this whole thing just got off to a rough start," he said.
Edwin nodded. "Just promise me that if things get bad again that you'll talk to me, and not keep it all pent up inside."
"I promise I will." The words were soft, but sincere.
The medic's fingertips brushed up over Billy's temple. "How's your head?" he asked softly.
"Still hurts some," Billy said softly, tilting his head into the touch. "It'll pass, though . . ." He smiled wryly. "You know . . . thinking isn't supposed to hurt this much."
"Must be that thick Marine skull." Edwin said, smiling. "Keeps the brain from getting enough oxygen."
That actually drew a laugh from Billy. It was a soft laugh, in deference to his lingering headache, but a laugh nonetheless. "Guess maybe I've just been agonizing over all this stuff just a little too long, huh?"
"Maybe." The medic said softly, leaning in a bit closer to press a gentle kiss to the Marine's lips.
A soft sound escaped Billy as their lips touched, and he let his embrace tighten just a little in reply. His fears and doubts still rattled in the back of his mind, but they were quiet things now, brought back into perspective by his lover's patient tone and ears. Billy promised himself in that moment that no matter what happened from then on in, he'd never, ever hesitate to go to Edwin for support. After all, they were a team, and that meant supporting one another. You've been a damn fool, Coen, he thought. Don't do it again.
Edwin pulled back after a few moments, the kiss meant to be reassuring, his earlier disappointment gone. He really had no reason to have felt that way he knew. That was one of the few things that he and Billy actually had in common, their penchant for keeping things bottled up inside, neither one of them very good at expressing themselves emotionally, though they had improved a bit over the course of their three year relationship.
Though the medic had said very little to Billy about what had happened at Lakeview, what he had seen and more importantly, what he had done still haunted him. His killing of the Trojan Horse carrier had irrevocably changed him and stripped away whatever innocence he might have still possessed. But as he had told Billy, he had done what he had to because Rebecca had been the only hope that the Marine had and if any of them had to have gotten out of that godforsaken place, it had to have been her.
Billy reached up, touching Edwin's cheek softly. "I'm still . . . sorry things happened like they did with that place," he said, not bothering to name the asylum. "I never wanted you to have to use that Magnum . . . I hope you know that."
Lifeline looked at the other man for a few moments before dropping his gaze. "C'mon," he said softly. "Let's not talk about this anymore." He slowly looked back up at Billy's face. "We're supposed to be on vacation and enjoying ourselves."
Billy offered his lover a weak smile. "Yeah yeah, but every time I try to start enjoying it, you tell me you should have left me at home." He teased gently, letting one hand stray to poke gently at one of Edwin's ticklish spots.
"I have three weeks with a house on the beach;" the medic said, a faint smile on his lips as he tried to squirm away. "I don't plan on spending all of it inside."
"Who said anything about spending it inside?" Billy's tone was almost innocent as he tightened his hold on Edwin and poked him again.
Once again, Edwin tried to wriggle away though he didn't get far, still held in his lover's embrace. "And I'm not giving any free shows on the beach either, so don't even think about it."
"I'm allowed to think on it all I want," Billy protested, his weak smile warming a bit. "You're just not gonna let me act on it."
"God, you're incorrigible sometimes."
While Edwin often teased Billy in regards to the intimate side of their relationship, the truth was that the two of them shared a rather enjoyable and fulfilling sex life, though it sometimes fell victim to their busy schedules, with the pair often relegated to just curling up together in bed before falling asleep.
"What, only sometimes?" Billy said, chuckling. The throbbing in his head was starting to fade some, and he was glad for it. He might still have to take something for it later, but he'd worry about it later. For the moment, he was enjoying the chance to banter playfully with Edwin, something they hadn't done much of, mostly due to Billy's unusually dark moods.
"I don't count when you're asleep." The medic shot back.
The remark caught Billy off-guard and he laughed, wincing a little as he did, though he didn't stop. "Touché," he said. Edwin leaned in and kissed the Marine's temple, his lips lightly brushing over Billy's tan skin.
Billy exhaled a quiet sound at that, and smiled. "Silly question to ask, I'm sure, but have we got something in the house for this headache? It's still too early to sleep, but spending the night with my head feeling like it wants to explode doesn't sound fun either."
The medic nodded his dark head. "I packed my mini field kit," he said as he started to pull away from Billy's embrace. "Let me get it . . ."
Letting Edwin go reluctantly, Billy nodded and smiled a bit. Normally he'd have protested, but there was always something about the medic fussing over him that made Billy feel spoiled, and he decided he could indulge that. "All right."
Lifeline rose from the bed and made his way over to the closet where he and Billy had stowed their suitcases after unpacking. After drawing out the case, he opened it and retrieved the small first aid kit that he carried with him when he traveled. Carrying it back over to the bed, he sat down and balanced the case on his lap while he opened it.
In the meantime, Billy had shifted until he was sitting cross-legged on the mattress, watching Edwin quietly.
"Do you just want something for the pain, or something to help you relax and sleep too?"
"Just something for the pain," Billy said. "I'll have you in the bed with me tonight, so relaxing and sleeping should come easily enough."
The medic couldn't help but smile a bit as he drew out a bottle, double checking the label before opening it and shaking a pair of tablets out into his palm before offering them to the Marine. "I'll get you some water," he said as he replaced the bottle. Setting the kit down on the bed next to him, he rose to his feet and softly padded out of the room.
Billy took the medication, not quite having a chance to get out a "thank you" before Edwin was off and moving again. Lifeline returned a few minutes later bearing a glass of water from the kitchen faucet which he held out to his lover.
"Thanks," Billy said, taking the glass from Edwin. He took the tablets he'd been given quickly, downing a decent swallow of the water and making a slight face before he set the glass on the nearby nightstand and stretched out on the bed. "Come lay down with me for a little while until these kick in?"
Closing the first aid kit, Edwin left it on the dresser and returned to the bed, sliding down on the mattress next to the Marine. Reaching out and looping an arm around the medic, Billy pulled Edwin close and nuzzled him affectionately. "We should try to catch at least one sunrise down on the beach while we're here," he murmured
"And a sunset," Lifeline added as he slid his arm around the other brunette, tucking Billy's head under his chin.
Billy purred at that and got settled. "Yes. Nightly, if I have my way . . ." He smiled. "I wanna make up for all the time I haven't gotten to spend with you..."
"It's okay, we're both just so busy."
"Yup. But now we've got three whole weeks to not be busy, and I plan on making the most of it, just getting to be with you."
Edwin smiled. "For a stubborn Jar Head, you sure know how to sweet talk."
"Everybody's gotta have a hobby."
The medic made an exasperated sound, though his smile still lingered. Billy chuckled softly in spite of the lingering pain in his head, bringing a hand up to rest over Edwin's heart. "Seriously, though," he said softly. "We haven't had much time for each other in almost a year. I wanna try to make up for some of that."
Lifeline closed his hand over the Marine's. "So do I." he agreed softly.
Relaxing and closing his eyes again, Billy smiled as he spoke. "So what did we wanna do with tomorrow?"
Edwin considered the question for a moment or two. "I don't know. I wanted to try and check out the aquarium in Monterey while we were here . . . Cannery Row . . ."
"Sounds good to me. I've never really spent leisure time in California, so this is all pretty new territory to me."
"Me too," the medic said. "I spent a little time in L.A. with Bree once . . ." He looked down at the other man. "But I've never been this far up the coast before."
"Hm . . . guess we'll go exploring tomorrow, then, maybe," Billy said with a grin. "Familiarize ourselves with our surroundings some?"
"Sounds like a plan, soldier boy."
"Cool."
Edwin smiled, his coffee colored eyes still on Billy as his hand slid away from the Marine's, the medic bringing it to the other man's chest, laying it lightly over Billy's heart. Billy opened his eyes, turning his own dark blue gaze up to the Edwin's and smiling. The medication was finally starting to kick in some, the throbbing in his head down to an easily ignored level.
"Feeling any better?" Lifeline inquired.
"Considerably," Billy replied with a small nod that didn't set his head to aching. "Thanks."
"Always happy to play doctor." The medic said, his tone light.
That brought a grin to the Marine's face. "You know you're welcome to play doctor anytime," he said, his own tone playful.
"I would have thought you'd be sick of doctors."
"Doctors, maybe, but like you always point out, you're a medic."
"True," Edwin agreed as he bent down closer to Billy. "So I guess that makes me okay, huh?"
"More than okay," Billy murmured back, leaning up just a little.
The two met halfway, their lips coming together for a warm kiss. Billy made a soft sound at that, bringing a hand up to catch Edwin's glasses and pull them gently from the medic's face, stretching until he could set them harmlessly aside on the nearby nightstand. Once he was free of the wire frames, Edwin softly pushed the Marine back down, the press of his lips becoming much more firm against his lover's.
Billy went down willingly, a surprised sound quickly melting into a soft moan. The medic held the slightly awkward position for a few moments, letting the kiss linger on before he pulled back a bit. The Marine grinned a little, his voice just a little breathless as he spoke. "What'll it take to make you do that again?"
"If you let me get a little more comfortable, I'll see what I can do."
Chuckling, Billy shook his head. "Should've said something if you were uncomfortable," he scolded softly, shifting so Edwin could get comfortable. The medic slid down on the bed next to his lover, his hand again sliding up Billy's chest as he leaned in to claim the Marine's lips once more.
Again, he was met halfway, Billy shivering at the touch. He tilted his head slightly as their lips met, letting his part slightly in invitation. With a soft sound, Lifeline slipped his tongue into Billy's welcoming mouth, his fingers bunching up the fabric of the blue-eyed man's shirt as it encountered its like.
Billy moaned at that, the kiss becoming more heated as he brought his hand up to cup the back of Edwin's head. The medic let out a moan of his own as their tongues continued to twine with one another, his heart beginning to beat faster in his chest.
Billy's hand slid from the back of Edwin's head to trail a feather-light touch along the back of his neck slowly, keeping the pressure only firm enough to keep the touch from tickling. A faint shiver went down Lifeline's spine, with only the need to breath making him break the kiss, the medic touching his forehead to the Marine's.
"Don't think I'm quite ready for sleep yet," Billy finally whispered breathlessly, tilting his head so he could breathe the words in Edwin's ear. "But I think I'm ready for bed, if you wanna join me."
The medic made no verbal response, only turned his head a bit and once again pressed his lips to his lover's as he covered the Marine's body with his, gently pushing him down into the mattress.