A few days later, Suzumiya was still obsessed with yaoi, but at least Nagato would watch it with her rather than let Suzumiya force that poor, poor Asahina-san watch it with her.

Speaking of Asahina-san, she was nowhere to be found that one dreaded day, which made me feel rather downhearted. It was her bright, smiling face that usually gave me the motivation to drag myself along the hallway towards the clubroom at the end of each day. Instead I was left alone with Koizumi and his sinister smile, with background sounds of Suzumiya whooping at her animated porn.

Halfway through a card game with Koizumi, who was leering at me from across the table, I noticed – or rather, my ears noticed – that the voices emanating from the computer didn't sound male. Also, Nagato was back in her corner, reading silently, looking as if she was mildly disappointed.

Suzumiya noticed me staring in her general direction and grinned widely, beckoning me over.

"Kyon, Kyon!" she called. "I know you weren't too keen on the yaoi, but you might like this!"

She picked up the monitor and turned it towards me, where I was faced with not two men, but two women.

"What?!" I said intelligently, grabbing the monitor and staring at the characters. Somehow, two women getting it on seemed a lot less morbid than two men.

"Yuri!" said Suzumiya proudly.

I could have sworn that I heard Nagato make a strangled noise of disapproval then.

But, forget Nagato! I could watch this a lot more easily than yaoi!

"Before you get too hooked, Kyon," I heard Suzumiya say, "I want you to look for Mikuru. She's certainly in today, because I've seen her, and I don't want to have to give her the penalty for not showing up!"

I moaned, but I knew if I didn't obey Suzumiya I'd probably wake up with no teeth or worse, so I set out to look for Asahina-san.

Rather half-heartedly, I must admit.

After about five minutes, I heard the sound of a classroom door being opened at the other end of the corridor. I turned and found Tsuruya-san, her hair out of place and clothes slightly dishevelled, exiting an empty classroom. Her face was slightly flushed. She turned and started towards the exit, very careful to stay quiet.

"Oh, Tsuruya-san!" I called to her. I saw her back tense up and she stood still, as if wondering whether she should turn to face me or just make a run for it. Obviously, she chose the former.

"H-hey, Kyon, whatcha doin' at school so late?" she said, her voice bursting with fake energy.

"Suzumiya's club," I said simply, because that in itself should explain it. "Say, have you seen Asahina-san around?"

Tsuruya-san went slightly red and began to act very un-Tsuruya-ish indeed.

"What, are you assumin' that just because she an' I are friends and everything that I've gotta know exactly wheres she is all the times?" she replied angrily.

"I was only asking," I said, surprised at her outburst.

"Jeah, well, maybe you shouldn't!" Tsuruya said. She left in a hurry.

'She was acting very suspicious,' I thought to myself.

But I was distracted from my thoughts as Asahina-san poked her beautiful face around the door of the classroom, saw me and squeaked. "K-kyon! W-what are y-you doing h-here?"

"I was looking for you," I said. She, too, looked very unkempt, quite contrary to her usual neat-as-a-pin self.

"Oh! Well, I was j-just on my way to the clubroom now, so maybe we could go together?"

"Sounds great," I said. "Wait...what were you doing in that classroom with Tsuruya-san, Asahina-san?"

Asahina-san bit her lip and looked up at me with large eyes, the picture of innocence. Then a wide grin plastered itself onto her face and she placed a finger against her lips and winked, striking her trademark pose.

"That's classified."