Dinobot, Prince of Denmark
Scene one:
[Elsinore, Denmark; cold and cloudy as all out hell, which is not unusual there, but nevermind... Cheetor is guarding; enter Tigatron]
Tigatron: Who's there?
Cheetor: ::Screams like a girl and stumbles, spinning:: Huh?!
Tigatron: ::Sighs:: Cheetor, right... ::Steps into view:: Calm down, Francisco, it's just me.
Cheetor: ::Pants:: Geez, why dontcha just kill me?
Tigatron: ::Twitches a bit, but resists:: It's late. You can head in now.
Cheetor: Thanks, man. I'm freezin' my tail off out here!
Tigatron: ::Mutters a bit::
Cheetor: ::Suddenly screams like a girl again:: Who's there?!
Megatron: ::Winces:: Bloody hell. When did you have him neutered?
Airrazor: ::Sighs:: Not soon enough. It's us; just us.
Cheetor: Phew... Well, all right. Bernardo's waitin' for ya, back there. I'm off to bed.
[Exit]
Airrazor: Tigsy-- er... Bernardo!
Megatron: ...
Tigatron: Who's there? Marcellus? Is Horatio with you?
Megatron: ::Growls:: I refuse to answer to that retarded name.
Airrazor: ::Elbows him:: Yeah; a piece of him. So you've seen IT again tonight?
Tigatron: ::Surprisingly calmly, considering that they're talking about a ghost:: Nah, not yet.
Megatron: ::Looks heavenward with a superior sigh:: There are no such things as ghosts.
Airrazor: Oh, yeah? Then what about Starscream?
Megatron: ... Temporary fit of insanity on Waspinator's part.
[They both give him a sceptic look]
Megatron: ::Defensive:: It was!
Airrazor: Whatever. Just you wait and see.
Tigatron: ::Psychotic giggle:: Yeah; it'll scare the ailerons right off you.
Megatron: ... ::Shifts away from Tigatron::
Airrazor: ::Screams like a guy:: There! There it is!
[They all spin to face Silverbolt who enters nobly, to much fanfare]
Tigatron: It looks exactly like the dead king! Talk to it, Horatio!
[Silence reigns]
Airrazor: ::Sighs:: Talk to it, Megatron!
Megatron: ::Smirks:: What are you?
Silverbolt: ::Looks very noble and expectant, waving his hands a bit in encouragement::
Megatron: ::Growls and hams it up:: What ART thou, that USURP'ST this time of NIGHT, together with that FAIR and WARLIKE form in which the majesty of buried Denmark - ::fake sad look:: - did sometimes MARCH?! By heaven I charge thee, SPEAK!
Airrazor: ::Sighs:: Dude, tone down the Olivier...
Silverbolt: ::Looks nobly offended and dramatically sweeps around stage::
Tigatron: Now look what you did!
Megatron: ::Pouts:: Shut up. ::To Silverbolt:: Speak, speak! I charge thee, speak!
[Exit Silvebolt]
Airrazor: ::Smacks Megatron over the head:: You chased him off!
Megatron: Hey! No, I didn't! ::Thinks fast:: It was the, er... cock that crowed the entrance of dawn! Yeah, that's the ticket...
Tigatron: But it's only three AM, and the cock didn't--
Megatron: ::Firmly:: It did.
Airrazor: Whatever. ::Grumbles:: Well? Didn't it look just like our dearly, departed king?
Megatron: I don't know about dearly; dorky, certainly... Maybe even geeky...
Tigatron: ::Reprimanding:: Have you been watching "Fire on the Mountain" again?
Megatron: ::Doesn't answer:: But, yeess! It looked exactly like Halmet, the elder, as he were when he slew the king of Norway and left the king's brother to rule, with the prince swearing unspeakable revenge upon his head! ::Aside:: Everybody got that? ::Back to the others:: How often has he done this before?
Airrazor: ::To herself:: Can you even say 'slew'? ::Clears throat:: At least twice, now, scaring the ailerons right off us each time!
Tigatron: ::Psychotic giggle::
[Both shift away from him]
Megatron: ::Pondering:: I see... Something must be amiss. ::Blinks and squeeks:: It's coming back! Bugger!
Silverbolt: ::Sweeps in once more, looking so very noble::
Airrazor: Heeeeeeyyyy! You said the cock had crowed!
Megatron: So I lied! Be quiet, would you? All right, ghost, once more I bid you to speak, and none of that nancy Shakespeare quoting!
[The cock crows; exit Silverbolt, running off stage]
Megatron: ::Quickly:: It was real this time.
Tigatron: It was about to speak when the cock crowed.
Airrazor: Ain't that just typical?
Megatron: ::Sighs:: We must tell young Hamlet - ::Snickers:: Hammy Hamlet; how fitting - of this strange and awesome vision in its most accursed wanderings.
Airrazor: All right, now you're just making stuff up.
[Exeunt]