Our time will never come again

Another quiet day at Torchwood. Last week's alien sighting was so simple and straightforward that hardly any effort was involved. An alien craft was lost and needed directions home. Since then, there haven't been any other sightings. Nothing suspicious is going on. No threats to Great Britain, to Earth, or to the solar system. It's a bit of a drag, actually.

Rose catches herself as she thinks that last thought. How could any of this be a drag? This is the most excitement she's ever had in her life, and she's complaining because things are quiet at the moment? She shakes her head, recalling the chaos surrounding the Cybermen invasion of London. She and Jackie were scheduled to become one of those monsters, would have been Cyberized if Pete and Mickey hadn't arrived in time.

She is interrupted from her musings by her mobile phone.

"It's lunchtime," Mickey's voice says. "Come and eat."

Rose thinks for a brief moment. "Okay," she says. How can it be lunchtime already? The morning was dragging by so slowly she was convinced it would never end.

Rose meets Mickey in the cafeteria. "Where's Jake?" she asks.

"Had an appointment." Mickey doesn't elaborate, and Rose doesn't ask.

"What's good?" she asks him instead, looking over the selections.

"It's all good today," he assures her, and loads up his tray.

Rose follows him to the register with a tray that's not quite so full. Swiping their ID badges though the scanner, their accounts are automatically charged for the food. A tinny voice coming from the scanner reminds them that accounts are due in full next week.

The best thing about Torchwood, for Rose, is that while the rest of the world looks at her as a mystery, her coworkers simply accept her. Some are assuredly thinking that she's only there because she's Pete's daughter, but no one accuses her of that to her face. No one is trying to sneak into her office to get the latest scoop to sell to the tabloids. No one calls her a spoiled little rich girl. They're all just busy eating and talking, not noticing her at all.

It's nice.

She's happy on this world, but sometimes the fact that Pete is so successful here is hard to deal with. Rose tells herself that had her dad lived in her world, the same thing would have happened. He would have been just as successful, and she'd be in the same position. Rose tries to tell herself that. For some reason, maybe because her real dad died before she could remember him, it just doesn't ring true.

They take their trays outside to enjoy the nice weather. Few of the other tables are filled, most people choosing to eat inside or at their desks today.

"You doing all right?" Mickey asks her.

Rose looks up from her sandwich. "Yeah. Why?"

Mickey shrugs. "I dunno. It can be hard, coming over to a parallel world."

Rose laughs. "That is the truth, isn't it?" She pushes her hair away from her face and surveys their surroundings. They're in a small courtyard outside the cafeteria, overlooking part of London. "It's so much like home."

"That was the hardest thing when I first came," Mickey tells her. "Trying to fit in. Trying to be Rickey to my gran, trying to stay me when I wasn't with her. Pretending that this place was normal."

"It is normal, Mickey. It's just not our normal, yeah?"

"You mean a president instead of a prime minister and zeppelins flying around?"

Rose smiles. "Yeah. The president," she says suddenly, and then stops.

"What about her?" They've never met President Harriet Jones, but they're both aware that she has a small hand in Torchwood.

"She's...nothing." Rose shakes her head.

"It's something, isn't it, Rose?" he asks her. "Me and you off the old estate, flying through the universe to end up here."

"I know." Rose had never heard of parallel worlds before - neither had Mickey, of course. And then one day Jake came through to their world, dressed in black, carrying a gun, accompanied by others that he called the Preachers. He was from a different world, he claimed, and they were under attack. Using technology stolen from the company who was causing the attack, he and his Preachers had found another world and come to ask for help.

Mickey had gone with them, over both Rose and Jackie's protests. His parallel world counterpart was part of the Preachers, and he'd been killed. Mickey considered it his duty to take his place and try to help. They hadn't seen him for nearly a year. Rose had tried to think of him as gone for good, had tried to accept that maybe something had happened to him.

And then one day her dad came home. Only it wasn't her dad, it was a Pete Tyler who wasn't her Pete Tyler. A Pete Tyler who'd been brought by Mickey. The Cybermen who'd nearly destroyed his world had escaped from Pete's Torchwood, which was an organization meant to track down aliens and use their technology. The Cybermen had escaped to the world that Rose and Jackie were living on. Pete and Mickey and Jake had arrived just in time, and Pete had all but forced them to come home with him.

Jackie had resisted - fears of the Cybermen and husbands coming back from the dead had almost undone her. Rose, glad to see Mickey, stunned to see her dad, had agreed a little more easily. The fact that the Cybermen were so close had helped. The Cybermen were defeated that day, and Pete brought them home with him to start over as a proper family.

"All those years, just sitting there," Rose says. "Imagining what we'd do one day. We never imagined this, did we?"

"Don't have the imagination for it," Mickey shakes his head.

"What were we wasting our time with?" she asks with a grin.

"Hey, there."

Rose and Mickey both look up. A man in a brown suit is standing there, tall and with brown hair that's a shade too long.

"Hello." Rose tries not to smile too much. It's hard to do.

Mickey nods.

"Gareth Rogers," the man supplies helpfully. "From Accounting."

"Accounting," Mickey echoes, nodding his head. "Yeah, of course."

"Shut it," Rose tells him good-naturedly. "Would you like to sit with us?" she asks.

"Love it." Gareth sits down beside Rose, setting down a tray that is considerably less full than Mickey's own.

Mickey sees this and is clearly unimpressed. Rose glares at him until he clears his throat.

"I'm gonna go get a refill," he says. "See you later."

Gareth takes a look at Mickey's tray, clearly disbelieving his need for a refill of anything. But he nods as Mickey takes his leave.

"Haven't seen you around recently," Gareth says.

Rose tries very hard not to blush. "No, I, I haven't had any expenses to report lately."

"No excitement lately?"

She all but giggles in response. "No. Not lately." What is wrong with her? Why is she acting like a teenager? Rose would kick herself if she could.

"We've had a lot of drama in our department. Some kind of pest infestation."

Rose nods, not daring to open her mouth just yet.

"We thought it might be some alien race coming to take over the world, but it turns out it was just silverfish."

"Maybe they were going to take over the world by eating all our files," Rose suggests, and is pleased without end when he laughs.

Gareth takes a sip of his drink and clears his throat. "Rose..."

"Yes?" she asks, holding her breath.

"I enjoyed our date last summer."

"Oh, me too!" she assures him.

"Did you?" he asks doubtfully. "Because you never returned my calls after that."

She frowns. "I don't remember you calling me."

"Or emailing?"

"No." She shakes her head. "I would have remembered." Of course she would have. She has an insane crush on this man. Although...she can barely remember the date he's talking about, although she knows they did go somewhere together.

"I thought you were just avoiding me. I tried avoiding you, too, but I got a bit tired of that."

"Oh, I'm glad." Something isn't ringing true in her actions, and Rose tries to make up for it now. "I wasn't avoiding you. I'm sorry - we had some things going on at home."

"Is it because you just got reunited with your parents? I understand if you need some space." He clearly doesn't understand that, because the intense looks he's giving her are saying something else.

"No, oh no. My mum is having a baby," Rose tells him. "It's not a secret, but we're not going out of our way to tell people yet. She's not been feeling well."

"Oh. Okay." He takes another sip of his drink. The sun hits his head and Rose admires the way his brown hair is lit by the sunshine.

"Maybe sometime we could try again," she suggests hesitantly.

He looks at her over his glass. "Try again?" he asks slowly.

"A movie? Or dinner somewhere?" Rose feels like she's on the edge of a cliff and is about to step off without a parachute.

He smiles at her, a happy, open grin, and Rose feels herself fall.

It's a nice feeling.

Day 203. Dinner out with Gareth last night. He kissed her at her door, didn't try to come in. He'd only smiled at her, tall and handsome with curly brown hair and clear blue eyes. That smile had made Rose kiss him back, standing on her toes and pulling his head down to hers.

The kiss threw her into a whirl of confusion she still hasn't come out of. It feels wrong of her to have done so, even though there's no reason for it.

Jackie was asleep when Rose got in, and she was asleep when she left for work, but Jackie will be wanting to hear how it went. Pete will be there at work, ready to glower if necessary. He's not entirely happy she's seeing someone from work, but it's not against official policy. Rose thinks it's more to do with the fact that he does see her as his daughter, and he's reacting as any father would. She only hopes Mickey and Jake haven't heard anything of it, or they will tease her endlessly.

When Rose hops off the tube and starts towards Torchwood, Gareth is there, waiting for her outside the station.

"Good morning," she says. "Is this your stop?" She knows it's not, has seen his very nice car, but she's certainly willing to play along today.

"Good morning," he answers with a grin. "Going into work?"

"Why, yes, I am."

"Come on, then." He offers her his arm and she takes it with a small laugh. Not a giggle, she assures herself later. She is being very stern with herself and not allowing any giggles to come out.

This is what it means to be happy, she decides. This is what's been missing.

Rose is done for the day but doesn't feel like going home yet. She rings her mother and tells her so. "Don't wait for me. Think I'll do some shopping first."

"All right, sweetheart. Be careful."

"I always am. See you later."

Rose strolls down the street, admiring London in that magical time just before sunset. The sun is still in the sky but the lights are all lit in the shops, giving everything a festive glow. Christmas will be here soon, adding to the confusion and merriment.

Gareth had mentioned that he'd be at the shops tonight, buying gifts for his family. Rose isn't looking for him, not actively, but she allows herself to think about what they might do if she does bump into him. Do some shopping of her own, perhaps. Stop somewhere and have a drink before heading home. Maybe dinner out.

She is young and free and there is nothing in the world wrong with her having a boyfriend. She and Mickey have been over and done with for a long long time. She and Gareth haven't been dating very long, and it's far from serious, but heavens, he does make her laugh. She feels light and happy when she's with him, and that's a feeling she's not had enough of lately.

So why does this seem so hard? Why does every thought she has of Gareth come attached with odd feelings of warning, of guilt, of a pull that can't be explained?

Sometimes she thinks this world is far more different than she's ever dreamed of. The feeling that she just doesn't belong here on this Earth is a familiar one. Pete replaced her dad. Jackie's replaced Pete's first wife. Parallels for everyone but her. Even Mickey took the place of Rickey Smith on this world.

Maybe all she needs to do is fully accept the fact that her home is gone. She won't ever see the estate again, not that it's such a great loss. Her friends are gone, long since moved on or dead in the Cybermen attack.

Maybe she's finally growing up, Rose decides. The thought makes her smile and she starts to look around in earnest, hoping to bump into Gareth.

As she walks along the lights get a bit dimmer, and shops give way to small, intimate restaurants and dance clubs. It's darker here, without the lights of the shops to brighten things up. The dark makes her look up automatically, checking her position.

Rose doesn't often notice the night sky. The lights of London are bright, and zeppelins crowd the airspace.

Once, though, on a trip to the country to survey a suspicious blip of activity, she and Jake walked around a property in the dark. Her way lit only by a torch, Rose had looked up to the sky. Overhead were stars and constellations and it was like they were brand new and yet old friends.

The stars seemed familiar to her - like she knew them by name. And at the same time, a feeling of wrongness, that she'd missed something.

Rose looks up at the sky now. Dark, filled with zeppelins. Back home it would have been the occasional airplane.

She's tried to miss it, that other world. But her mother is here with her, and she has her father back. Mickey's friendship is here.

Rose turns back around and walks slowly back to the center of the shopping square. Standing there, right outside a chocolate shop, stands her boyfriend -

-Has she got a boyfriend now? Is that what's happening here?-

-holding onto some carrier bags and drinking something out of a plastic cup. He blinks with surprise when he sees her. He's still wearing his work clothes, a suit and tie and a brown overcoat.

Rose walks up to him slowly, aware that he is watching her every move. "Are you done shopping?" she asks.

He shakes his head wordlessly.

She bites her lip nervously. "What's left to -" She's cut off as he drops the cup and kisses her.

"Oh," is all she can say when he lets her go.

"Come help me find a scarf for my sister," Gareth says quietly. "And then maybe dinner?"

There is more, but Rose is not ready for that yet. She knows that he will be there when she is.

"Okay," she says, and takes the hand he offers her, holding it tightly so they won't get split up even if they have to run.

She doesn't realize she's spoken out loud until he looks down at her, a quizzical expression on his face. "Why would we need to run?" he wants to know.

Rose shrugs and shakes her head. "You never know," is all she can think to say.

Day 226. Rose is still keeping track of days. There's no reason to, no need to, but she's still doing it. Still watching the sweep of the clock's hands when she's in her office at Torchwood. The seconds and minutes and hours tick away, and she tries not to notice the rising panic that watching a clock seems to give her lately.

Gareth, at least, hasn't seemed to notice. They're dating casually, but Rose imagines that sometime soon it will have to turn serious or end. She's not ready for either one just yet. She doesn't think she's in love, but it's still early. Love isn't something you can rush, she tells herself, and then wonders what she knows of it. She didn't love Mickey, not in that way, and she certainly did not care for Jimmy Stone that way.

She goes for a walk one afternoon, the 226th day that she's been living on this parallel world. She slipped out after lunch with Gareth, telling him that she wanted some fresh air. He would have gone with her, perhaps, but he had a backlog of work to get through.

Jake and Mickey approve, teasing her about her boyfriend and his number crunching. She's kept her parents at arm's length when it comes to her fledgling relationship. She doesn't want them to get used to someone who might not be there some day. Who might be ripped away from her.

Rose walks down the street, wondering at the last image her mind has provided. Gareth won't be ripped away. He's an accountant, for goodness' sake. If anyone's in danger of being ripped away from their love, it's her.

Her. It's Rose who's in danger of losing the man she loves.

The thought comes out of nowhere, surprising her so much that she comes to a halt in the middle of the sidewalk. Someone pushes past her and she stumbles a bit.

Maybe she needs a psychiatrist, Rose thinks wildly. Maybe the trip across worlds has altered her brain chemistry or something.

That would explain all those odd dreams that she can't remember. This bizarre fascination with time. Thinking that Gareth is the man of her dreams when she knows damn well he's not.

That thought stops her cold. He's not the man of her dreams.

Is he?

If Jackie could see her now she'd have a fit and send Rose packing to the Doctor for a check-up.

Yes. That's what she needs.

"I need a doctor," she murmurs, and turns around to go back to work, to find Pete and ask him for help.

Something is wrong, and she needs the Doctor.

A doctor.

She needs a doctor.

Rose moves into a storefront, away from the crowds walking past. Her hands are shaking. Moving quickly into the store, she buys a bottle of water and hopes no one is within camera-shot is taking photos of the Vitex heiress opting for clear water instead of fruity, vitamin-y goodness.

She feels better after she drinks the water. Just in case it's a simple case of low blood sugar, Rose also buys a chocolate bar. Eating it makes her feel much better, and she firmly shoves aside all those crazy thoughts and starts to walk back to work. Her thoughts are calm and focused and she makes sure they stay that way.

The walk back has a calming effect, and it's like the past half hour didn't happen. The sun is shining. She will go back to work and see what's going on for the afternoon. She will stop by Gareth's office and say hello. She'll think about what she'd like for dinner.

Rose's reverie is shattered by a strange whooshing sound. She glances around, confused, but seeing nothing out of the ordinary. She licks her lips and continues on her way.

The whooshing grows louder, grows stronger, and she stands still, feet braced. In front of her erupts a whirl of air. A blue box materializes out of nothing and lands with a crash, half on the pavement and half on the street. Rose blinks and jumps back. Glancing wildly around, she's stunned to note that no one else seems to notice. People continue to walk right past it, even though it's emitting that whooshing noise and it has a bright light on top.

Rose swallows hard and reaches for her phone.

Before she can dial Torchwood, for surely this isn't a normal incident, the doors of the call box, for that's what the blue box is, clatter from the inside. It looks like a telephone box, but Rose is fairly certain that no phone box is as mobile as this thing is. She waits and holds her breath.

The doors of the blue box burst open and a tall man comes out. He's looking all around, scanning the skies with an intent expression, and comes to a halt mere inches in front of her.

Rose stands her ground and waits.

He pulls a silver tube out of his pocket and turns around, bumping into her. As their eyes meet he blinks, the expression on his face changing to one of utter disbelief and then utter happiness.

Rose continues to watch him warily.

His stare grows intense as he looks down at her. He speaks, and she can't help but be startled by his words.

"I was wrong about the breach. I'm so sorry. But here I am!" He throws his arms wide, causing his long brown coat to flap around in the wind.

Rose takes a slow step backwards.

"But I made it! And I found you! Found you right off! I'm good. I am that, that good." He smiles happily at her. "Hello."

"Are you all right?" Rose asks finally.

"I am now! Now that I've found you." He reaches for her hands. Rose jerks them back, away from his grasp. She starts to flip her phone open.

"Isn't this brilliant?" he demands of her. "I found you! Right off the bat, first try! What are the odds of that happening?"

He waits, staring at her expectantly, a maniacal grin on his face.

She doesn't respond.

"Rose?" he asks finally.

"How do you know my name?" she demands, even though in this London she is fairly famous, just for being Pete's long lost daughter.

He laughs, a half laugh that turns uncertain. "This isn't funny, Rose. It's me."

She looks at him closely. "I'm sorry. Do I know you?"