Chapter Two
The next day at school, I could barely breathe. I felt like everyone could see, could tell. It was like I had the word PREGNANT tattooed to my forehead. It was the worst feeling in the entire world. Classes were like a dream that I had been dropped into. I couldn't hear the words of the teachers. It was all like mumbling comparing to the screaming in my head "YOU'RE PREGNANT AND YOU KNOW IT!" I wanted to hide, disappear but I couldn't. No, I was stuck at school, alone and miserable.
Well, not exactly alone. There was a child inside of me. My child.
It wasn't until after lunch (I didn't bother eating) that I saw Johnny at his locker. Claire had told me I needed to talk with him, and maybe I did. He deserved to know what happened to me, right? I mean, it was his kid too. Johnny as a daddy. Now that was unthinkable.
I swallow my fear and make my way towards his messy locker. A book falls out. I pick it up and hand it to him.
"What do you want?" He snaps.
"I need to talk with you."
"Do I know you?"
"Johnny," I feel tears swelling in my eyes and I want to scream. "Johnny, please don't be stupid!"
"Now I am stupid?"
"No…I mean…Johnny…"
"Leave. Me. Alone," his voice is cold, biting. It feels like a whip, or icy wind clawing at your face. Miserable. Painful. Torture.
"Johnny!"
It's now or never, I tell myself.
"What?"
"I'm pregnant."
"WHAT?" He hisses, as if the whole thing is my fault, "How?"
"I don't know!" I want to cry, "We used protection! I don't know how this happened…"
"Are you sure that you are pregnant? Have you like…taken a test or something?"
"Not yet. I was going to after school…"
"Meet me outside. I'll…I'll drive you to the gas station."
"GAS STATION? You want me to take the test in a GAS STATION?"
"Well what do you suggest, Backwoods?"
Backwoods. My heart leaps a little bit and my stomach flops. Maybe its morning sickness – or in this case, afternoon sickness.
"Alright," I give in, "Johnny…I'm scared."
He rolls his eyes, and acting as if its pains him to do so, he pulls me into a hug. Rolling his eyes, he attempts comforting me.
"Backwoods, it'll be alright. Don't get all worked up. God knows, no one wants to see that."
I smack him and he almost smirks – almost.
"What are we going to do?" I ask him nervously.
"We are not going to do anything until we figure out if this is for real or not."
"And if it is."
"Then we'll deal with that then."
It was a small comfort knowing that Johnny was speaking to me, but despite our talking, something felt…off. Like he was still mad at me, or hurt. Either way, I hated it. When Johnny was mad at me, it felt like part of my heart was being ripped out. I hated that feeling.
"Backwoods," Johnny called as I was about to walk away, "We'll do this."
I didn't know what exactly he meant by it, but I nodded and walked off to my next class. The world wasn't going to stop spinning just because I was in the middle of a crisis. It was about time I realized that.