Disclaimer: I don't own the show or any of its characters.
Title: Love is a Funny thing
Pairings: Cara/Kahlan
Summary: Read and find out.
Author's Note: This is my first LOTS fanfiction, so if it sucks, I apologize.
…
Chapter Two: I'm Sorry
~Cara's POV
Zedd went after Richard as he left the room leaving Kahlan and I alone. Usually I wouldn't mind being alone with her, actually I love being alone with her, after all she is the only one that I can truly be myself with, but that only happens when we're alone. I move so that I'm sitting on the bed, and Kahlan moves so that she is sitting beside me. Her hand reaches and takes a hold of mine, I feel her squeeze slight, and I look up at her. "You're going to go through with it aren't you?" I ask, even though I know I don't need to, I already know the answer. You see Kahlan would do anything to protect her people.
Her hand leaves mine and I miss the feel of it instantly. "Cara," she says my name in a way I haven't heard since we were traveling the Midlands with Richard and Zedd. It is the voice she used before we admitted our feelings, before I gave myself to her faithfully. For a Mord'Sith that is a big step, for me personally it is a big step, and what do I get in return, she's leaving me for Richard.
"No," I say cutting her off. I get of the bed in a huff and I know I'm acting so unlike a Mord'Sith, but I can't. "Kahlan I love you," I say going over to her and kneeling in front of her. "I love you with everything that I am," I continue. "And I know you want to protect your people and Aydindril and everything because you're Kahlan and you're a caring person. But for once I'm asking you to be selfish, to say no, to pick me, to stay here with me, and to love me," I finish.
Kahlan stand thus causing me to stand as well. She won't look at me; those eyes that I have grown to love won't look at me. She walks out onto the balcony and looks out over her people, the people who have grown to like a Mord'Sith because of her; they have grown to trust that Kahlan would always be there, with Cara. And the happiness that radiated from them when they heard that she was pregnant was unlike any other. They threw a part and there was a festival. These were her people, Richard is the Lord Rahl he should worry about all the Midlands and she should concentrate on Aydindril.
Right?
This is where the Mother Confessor is supposed to be. I'm not the only one that needs Kahlan here, these people need her here, she represents so much more than I think even she realizes. "Baby," I say as I walk up behind her. I attentively wrap my arms around her, pressing my body to hers. "I need you," I say as I push her hair away so I can kiss her neck. "Your people need you," I say moving my hands up her body and down her arms. "Aydindril needs you," I say reaching for her hands and interlacing our fingers. I move her hands so that her hands around in front of her and my arms around her. "Please, don't leave us." I finish.
"Kahlan?" Turning around, both of us, we see Richard racing through the door with Zedd right behind him; obviously he had tried to stop him but failed. Kahlan moves away from and because of that I look at him reaching for my agiel.
"Cara, no," Kahlan says stopping me. I look at her, pleading with my eyes to let me to what I want to the man who came screwed everything up for me. "This is not a fight, no; this decision is up to me." She says as she looks at Richard and then at me.
I look at her, a little shocked. I mean this isn't supposed to be a hard decision, last night she was telling me she loved me and that she was never going to leave me. But then Richard comes back and suddenly everything is different. I don't understand. She asked me to let my feelings out, to not be afraid to show emotion, and now, now I wish that I could go back hiding my love from her, everything was simpler that way. I shake my head and step away from her, looking at her sadly, and I want to kill myself for showing this kind of emotion. "Well let me make this easier," I say before turning and walking away, out of a bedroom that used to be just ours and now it is tainted by Richard.
I can faintly hear her calling my name but I don't turn around, I can't, if my eyes look into those blue ones I would not stand a chance.
…
I can't believe her; I can't believe this whole situation. This is what she promised me, that I could live among her and her people and be free, but I can't be free. I can't let my emotions out because this is what happens. I let her in, I let my guard down, I let myself feel love and happiness and the spirits took it from me. They brought the one person she cannot say no to, to take her away from me. Sitting in my office I keep look straight ahead. No one bothers me here, they know better unless it is something important, something that can't wait.
So when one of the officers came walking through my door I groaned a little. Sometimes I wish I could kill everyone just so I could have some time of peace. Some time to think about how I'm going get Richard away from Kahlan, without killing him, Kahlan won't like that. "Speak," I say not looking at him, my gaze doesn't wavier from where it was when it first walked in. Whatever he has to say I'm sure I don't have time for it, usually they don't need me, but they still come to me to tell me, like their little children or something, not able to make any decisions on their own.
"We've been keeping an eye on the Wizard like you asked," he says and this catches my attention. I look up at him now, my gaze stern, telling him to continue silently. "It appears that he has been spending a lot of time in the Mother Confessor's chambers." He said and he ducked his head.
"What do you mean, in the Mother Confessor's chambers?" I yell, standing up and putting my hands on my desk, leaning over it slightly. "No one is supposed to be in the Mother Confessor's chambers besides who sergeant?" I ask walking past him.
"The Mother Confessor," he says softly following behind me.
"Exactly!" I say leaving my office with him following close behind me. I knew something was off about Richard and Zedd. Something just didn't sit right with me. Richard knew how much Kahlan wanted to be here with her people, and Aydindril, he never would have asked her to leave, no matter what, and especially not if he knew she loved me. Even if it hurt him to let her go he wouldn't ask her to leave the person she loves, he would have accepted it and went back to the People's Palace. The Richard I know wouldn't have asked her to choose between us. Standing just outside of mine and Kahlan's bedroom I can still hear them inside. So I turn to the officer standing behind me. "Go, to the journey book, and contact the People's Palace, find out if Richard and Zedd are there, and if they are than that means we have intruders trying to sway the Mother Confessor away from Aydindril." I say. "Hurry," I slightly louder and he starts running.
I take a deep breath and walk through the big double doors, and when I enter the room they all turn to look at me. "Mother Confessor may I have a word," I say calmly, I don't want whoever they are to think that I am on to them, that would ruin everything.
"I haven't made my decision yet Cara," she says to me.
"This isn't about us, Mother Confessor, this is business," I say turning and walking out of the room. "All be waiting in your chambers," I shout behind me. Hopefully she comes alone. I don't need Richard and Zedd following her around like lost puppy dogs. I know she won't let me send my Mord'Sith after them, they'll get the truth out of whoever is standing in the over room. I only have a few Mord'Sith, that Richard commanded to follow my command, they stay here at the palace, and more often than not they are the ones I trust with Kahlan when she goes into the town, our out of Aydindril's limits for a strole or something. I've broken them all so I know they will not disobey me.
I walk into the Mother Confessor's chambers. I pace around the room. What if this isn't Richard and Zedd, what would I do, I mean they look like them, and it certainly won't look good to see the Mord'Sith torturing the Lord Rahl, even if it isn't the true Lord Rahl. What will the people think? Would they believe that these people aren't who they say they are? Will they take my side? Will they trust me?
"This better be important," I turn at the sound of Kahlan's voice. And when I turn around I notice that she is in fact alone, thank the spirits.
"Something's wrong," I say quickly walking up to her and placing my arms on either side of her, to stop her. She looks down at my hands as if they don't belong on her, that they shouldn't be touching her that they have no right to be touching her. It hurts to see that look on her, again. She used to always look at me like that, before she started trusting me, before she fell in love with me, before everything changed.
"Seriously Cara, what's wrong with you?" She asks moving away from her. That's why I look at her. Something isn't right with her either. There is something about the way she's been looking at me, something that is trying to tell me that she isn't the real Kahlan. "You really thought I'd pick you over Richard?" She asks looking at me, straight in the eye. I blink, I wasn't expecting that. "You know how much I wanted to be with him, but we both had our duties, and I accepted that so I came here with you, the people grew to trust you, and now I can go because I know they will accept you as their leader," and that's it. Kahlan never would have done that, she loves it her, she may still love Richard deep down, and she might never admit to it, but I know she would never have come here just to gain the trust of the people just to end up leaving in the end. That isn't Kahlan.
"Oh, I see," I say not giving it away. I don't want to spook them off, at least not until I find the real Kahlan, Richard and Zedd.
"But," she says walking towards me. Her hands roam over my body, I want to slap them away because I know that it isn't Kahlan touching me. I was hoping that we would be able to have one more night together, before I'm off to the People's Palace with Richard," she says leaning in to kiss me, and I let her, the real Kahlan would understand my sacrifice. "What'da say?" She asks me with a smirk.
"Of course Mother Confessor," I say.
"To tonight then," she says walking away smiling.
"Tonight," I say. I want to spit at her.
…
I close the door behind me as I enter my office; the officer I sent to the journey book earlier is standing before me. Thank the spirits. "Report," I say walking around him and sitting atop my desk. That encounter with Kahlan, or fake Kahlan, or whatever it's all too confusing; sent me through a loop. Even if it wasn't Kahlan it sure smelt like her, and felt like her. A perfect copy, as if I'd accept a copy.
"Lord Rahl replied," he said with his head held high.
"That means that it isn't Richard in there," I comment and he nods. "I want two office in place outside the bedroom chambers, two outside the Mother's Confessor's chambers, and then two outside my office," I say standing up and looking pointedly at him. "I want someone following the Mother Confessor at all time, we'll tell her there is a new threat in the palace, so that'll buy as a couple more days," I explained to him.
"Why can't we just tell her the truth?" he asks.
"Because it isn't the Mother Confessor," I say honestly. "I need three of you trusted men, we need to search for the real Mother Confessor, she is somewhere in this palace," I say looking around the room. "I want to find her before sundown tomorrow," I say to him. "Go, find me three men, and send them here, and on your way get word to my Mord'Sith," I say finally taking a seat in my chair. "This all must be done in secrecy, we cannot let them think we know the truth, as far as anyone besides you and I are concerned, someone is after the Mother Confessor and that is why we are increasing security," I finished.
"Yes Mistress," he says before he leaves.
He leaves the room and once again I am left alone. How did I let this happen? How did I let someone get into this palace and take Kahlan like this? How am I letting someone impersonate her, how come I didn't catch it before? Maybe I'm not the best match for her. I know Richard never would have let this happen, he would have been able to protect her, he would have been able to keep her safe. I failed. I let her down.
Maybe I'm not the best mate for the Mother Confessor.
She deserves more.
…
Author's Note: I'm sorry if it's too short. I hope you all like it. I love feedback, it's like a drug :D