It wasn't socially acceptable to kill someone, just because he was annoying; nevertheless, Xena was sorely tempted.

There was a plague on the land- a plague that, for a wonder, might have a cure- and physicians were traveling from Athens to Thebes to consult with young King Oedipus about how to heal the kingdom. The king had requested Xena act as a guard and guide to three of the best and brightest that Athens had to offer- Oedipus feared the danger of
kidnapping for ransom was too great for them to travel by themselves.

It was an agreement that Xena was already regretting.

Of the three men, the youngest, Gorgidas, was the best looking and most taciturn. He was polite enough, though, and not afraid to get his hands dirty when it came time to set up camp for the night, or clean fresh game. The middle physician, Calphas, wasn't particularly willing to put any effort into non-medical pursuits, but he was almost as quiet as Gorgidas.

And then there was Gershon, the eldest.

She had no doubt that the man was a well-educated and skilled doctor; he spoke with eloquence and intelligence. It was just that... he never seemed to STOP speaking.

From the first hour of the morning, when they mounted their horses, to the last moments of the night, as they doused their campfire, Gershon kept up a running commentary on the scenery, his past medical triumphs, his dislike of sleeping outdoors, his numerous allergies, his romantic triumphs, and anything else that happened to come to mind. Telling him to be quiet was effective, it was true- but not for more than twenty minutes at most.

The other two men deferred to him as the eldest, and listened with obvious respect. Gabrielle listened politely (or at least appeared to), making the occasionally appropriate comment ("Really?", "Oh dear," and "Is that so?" for the most part). Xena couldn't bring herself to do so. The drone of Gershon's voice reminded her of a swarm of wasps buzzing around her ears.

Thebes was still four days away. She wondered if she'd have a single quiet moment before they got there. She wondered if Gershon would ever wear his voice out. She wondered if she'd be able to make the entire trip without putting a gag on the man.

As she was mulling over the thought of using her pressure point skills to render him unconscious, she spied a pair of children approaching on horseback. She signaled that her little party should come to a halt- this wasn't the sort of territory, she thought, where children should be out on their own.

But then the pair grew closer, and she revised her first impression. Perhaps these weren't children after all. Perhaps they were adults… on a very large horse. In fact, they were starting to look familiar…

"My word!" Gershon exclaimed, "That's a satyr on that horse! With a young girl he's probably kidnapped! Xena, you must rescue her."

"I don't think she'd appreciate that," Gabrielle commented, waving. "He's her husband."

Indeed, it was Echo and Lysander, along with their monstrous grey gelding, Incitatus.

Xena felt the corners of her mouth begin to twitch; Lysander was wearing a bright red loincloth that called attention to the very area it was supposed to be concealing.

"Fancy meeting you here," Lysander said, dismounting. He greeted Gabrielle with a warm hug. "Where are you off to? And with these… fine… gentlemen?" He arched an eyebrow at the doctors, who were eyeing him with suspicion.

"Just guiding them to Thebes," Xena said, getting down to collect a hug of her own. "They've been summoned by King Oedipus." She looked up at Echo. "Hello there."

"Hello Xena, Gabrielle." Echo smiled. "Pardon me for staying seated- Inky's just waiting for an opportunity to run back home."

"We're fetching somebody to see the king, too," Lysander said. "Soothsayer friend of ours, lives off in that direction." He pointed west.

"Why can't he fetch himself?"

"He's blind."

"And so cantankerous," Echo put in, "that his most recent caregiver apparently fled screaming into the night. So we'll be transporting him instead."

"Ah, so that's why you're… clothed?"

"Well…" Lysander shrugged. "I try to show a little discretion when I'm in public…"

"I don't think 'discreet' really describes that," Gabrielle giggled.

"Ladies!" Gershon whined, "We mustn't tarry!"

"True enough," Echo agreed. "We should be getting on, too."

"We'll probably meet up in Thebes, then?" Lysander suggested.

"Sounds like a plan," Gabrielle nodded.

The pair rode off to the west.

Gershon, watching them go, gave a disparaging snort. "That poor animal. Worst case of gigantism I've ever seen. They should be letting the poor thing rest instead of abusing it so."

"It's a Norse war-horse, actually," Calphas sighed. "They're all that size." Under his breath, Xena heard him add "Twit."

She liked him better already.

Perhaps an hour later, as they crested a small hill crowned with wildflowers (which Gershon was quite sure would wreak havoc on his sinuses) Xena saw just the thing to make this trip complete: Joxer was approaching on horseback from the west.

Xena actually rubbed her eyes and looked again. Joxer... on HORSEBACK?? The man was petrified of the creatures. It must have taken something huge to get him up on one, much less go in search for them on one.

So now, she thought direly, she'd be traveling with the TWO most annoying men in the world...