I do not own portal or anything to do with it.

I get lonely. The yard always was cold, even in the summer when I needed ice cream to hold me down. No one was really ever warm to each other in the yard. Everyone watching, you see. How can you be truly warm to someone if everyone's watching? So we are cold in our fake warm way. Because they do watch. Like her and her eyes. That's where she got the idea from. To watch me. She knew about everyone else… But she isn't here. Not now.

I know!

Companion cube. A companion…it's somewhere here. I know it.

No.

It's not…I've looked everywhere. I can't just leave it-no. I'm not leaving it. It's leaving me. I'm the lonely one. But it's not the cube's fault. I've still got these photos…if I just-draw…

I'm not alone. I have company. C.C. is here. I'm not alone.

C.C. and I have good times here, in my house. I've painted the walls real nice, with this red stuff I drop behind me. I always feel so weightless nowadays. Every week or so, when we hear her trying to call us to come back we go and get an eye. We're so blind here; we need something to see with.

But we get hungry. Cee Cee says there'll be cake. "When?", I ask, but Cee Cee just said there'll be cake. When will there be cake? What do I have to do? Cee Cee will tell me. Cee Cee always has the answers.

Sitting here with Cee Cee, I've begun to remember. Things, fragments, a poem I had to learn…I don't know why yet, but I'll find out. Stupid things, like how to tie a reef knot and some tune that I keep repeating over and over…

I've remembered home.

Cee Cee says I shouldn't dwell on the past. Cee Cee says what matters is right now is cake.

Cake.

To get the cake I have to finish the test. She said I must. So maybe I should.

I will.

This portal is a part of me now. I don't even have to think about making a doorway, it just happens. I don't register it anymore. I don't know whether that's a good or a bad thing…

Ma! Ma! Look at me, Ma! [Her voice is so muffled] I can do the waltz too! [Why can't I hear her voice?]

I can remember being with her, but there's still this black energy around her when I try to think. I'm going to get rid of it, to try and get her back. Along with my identity.

Being here on my own, except for Cee Cee, of course, means that I don't know what's happening outside.

Not that it matters.

I wonder what I look like now? I haven't seen a mirror for a long time. I would use the portal, but then I'd be watching me. I don't need to be watched by anyone else.

She's forgotten about me. I don't get her calls anymore. Am I not good enough? Why should I be ignored? What have I done now?

Too many questions, says Cee Cee. Cee Cee says that I should hurry up and go and do the tests, like she wanted me to. Does Cee Cee want to get rid of me as well…no. No questions. She does want to get rid of me.

Fine then. I'll go.

Reviews, please! BP