Author's notes: There are a number of Vulcan terms in this chapter like Yuk-tor fam (can't sleep), Ashalik (darling), T'Pol-kam (my little T'Pol) and Adun (husband).
Many thanks to my beta Artisticmom2, and my readers and reviewers.
Time-line: In the first chapter T'Pol grieved her father Kirak, who had died on a mission, an event that would change the lives of T'Les and T'Pol for ever.
This chapter takes places the night before Kirak went away and Kirak and T'Les share their last moments together.
It was night. T'Les was in her bedroom, her husband Kirak sleeping next to her, on the right side, as had been their habit since the beginning of their union. T'Les couldn't sleep. She stared at the ceiling without seeing it. It would have been more logical if Kirak was the one who was awake. After all, his unrest and disturbance that T'Les had sensed the entire day were the reason she couldn't sleep.
Tomorrow Kirak would leave on his mission. He hadn't been on a mission in years, but the head of the Ministry of Security had asked specifically for him and his old team. T'Les knew the specifics of his mission: to find a man called Menos, a former agent, who had gone astray. Menos had been infiltrating a criminal network on the planet Agaron, in order to help the government of that planet, an ally of Vulcan.
T'Les decided that sleep wouldn't come and she should use her time more effectively. She rose from the bed, whispered a command and the bedside light went on. The soft light illuminated the room, revealing the deep red curtains hanging near the window and the two mattresses on the floor, covered by a light brown blanket with red and yellow colored embroidery.
T'Les took some cushions, arranged them, and went to the low, deep red lacquered table, positioned against the wall. Next to the lipra of Kirak's third forefather and an small statue of her grandmother T'Mir were several meditation candles. She lifted a candle with its candleholder off the table, placed it before the cushions on the ground and lit it. She sat down and looked at the flame. It was time to meditate.
"Yuk-tor fam, Ashalik?" the deep voice of her husband broke the silence. He rose from the bed. She had a glimpse of his broad shoulders and his bare chest before he dressed himself in a robe.
He also took some cushions, laid them on the floor and knelt down on the other side of the flame. "I will join you in meditation," he said.
The flame of the candle cast shadows on his bronze-skinned face, a face of which she knew every line: the slope of his eyebrows, the way the pointy tip of his ears was shaped, the masculine jaw, and his full lips. Then there were his eyes: more expressive than any Vulcan she had known.
Kirak concentrated on the flame and so did she. She entered her white space which soon became their white space: the shared space of her husband and her. Waves of strange sensations, memories from years ago, flooded together. It was like what she saw when her memories played out before her eyes in full color, memories of her relationship with the man on the other side of the flame, the man who had been her betrothed, the man who was her husband, her mate and the father of her child.
Decades ago, T'Les had met Kirak for the first time. She was seven years old, dressed in a beige robe with bell shaped, red and orange flowers embroidered. She had been nervous, but her mother had told her not to show any emotion.
Kirak was nine and the eldest son of one of the clan leaders. He looked older, in his green robe with the images of silver birds, the symbol of their clan. His bangs laid on his forehead in layers instead of the more traditional haircut for boys. Mother had remarked that his clothing was too exuberant, his hair too untraditional. Kirak needed much more discipline, she had complained. T'Les just had thought he looked strange.
At the ceremony T'Les touched his fingers and she had known she was his. She was Kirak's betrothed. The priest had started to sing in a baritone voice, a long song about the Vulcan ways. She had noticed how hungry she was for the food her mother had made for the feast.
After the ceremony they promised to write letters and during the many years before the second ceremony, they exchanged a letter each month. She never saw him personally and in spite of their monthly communication T'Les hardly knew him before the second ceremony. This ceremony was the start of them living together in the house of Kirak's parents in H'tekri Provence, the same house she now called home for so many years.
Kirak had been so different, his logic so in contrast of her upbringing. In part she would never fully understand him. But as the days passed, she had noticed his body of thoughts had merit, his logic was solid. He had an open mind and valued her opinions, even when they differed from his. She became to appreciate his unique mind as she came to see the worth of his logic.
After sharing their lives together for several months, Kirak had suggested neuropressure. She had agreed; it was the traditional way of building a connection for mates. The first time he had touched her, her senses were overwhelmed. She had tasted his deep emotions, his affection, and desire for her. It had confused her.
But they belonged together, so she had put her feelings aside and learned more about neuropressure.
Then, one day during a neuropressure session he had touched her ears. His finger had cherished the pointy outline of her right ear. The gesture had been clear. The sensations she felt were primitive. For the first time she sensed pleasure and she wanted more. She wanted to feel his touch over and over again. Ashamed, she suppressed her emotions and replied to his unspoken question. "You can continue," she whispered. Kirak had indicated that he wanted to have intimate relations and, as her mate, she wouldn't refuse him.
"It must also be your wish", he had answered. "There is no logic for a man in mating if his wife isn't content as well. Mating is necessary for the reproduction of our race, so feeling a mutual affection and enjoying its expression in intimate relationships, is nothing more than logic."
His logic had been flawless and she had expressed it was her desire as well. Kirak's fingertips were drawn to her ear once more and encouraged her to enjoy his gesture. She had responded by placing her two fingers on his cheek, then following the outline of his face with her fingers. Boldly, she had continued by taking the point of his right ear between two fingers.
His response had been illogically most gratifying. Never before had she felt more female and more his wife. She could please him. From that moment on there had been only the need to touch and feel the touch, to enjoy the sensations of his attentions on her skin and to return his affection. She longed to touch his mind, to become one in mind. And then she was in his mind as he was in hers, knowing him like she never had, before their bodies joined.
Afterwards, lying on his chest, she whispered "That was most agreeable."
He touched her cheek with his two fingers. "You're agreeable," he said. "And you're mine," he added, possessiveness and tenderness in his voice.
After the year of living together, Kirak stayed several months, before returning to the military. She devoted herself once again to science. Later on, Kirak was assigned to the space vessel Talal and, after the old captain was transferred back to Vulcan, Kirak was promoted captain. While he traveled space and visited several planets, he still kept in contact with her. The letters he wrote were the highlights of her life. He came back to her, a couple of months before his Pon farr began.
T'Les had found that their intimate relations had been a good preparation for the time of Pon farr. When the fever came, she was ready and joined him willingly. It was a primitive, raw, experience. Pon farr was like being burned together in the heat of the summer sun, bringing them together in a stronger union. The experience had touched them both in the core of their being.
She had expected that Pon farr would lead to a child. But she and Kirak had to wait. After Pon farr, he returned to service and continued with his career as Captain. Kirak was chosen for several classified missions. He played an important role in several military disputes they had with the Andorians, which ended with a peace treaty between Andoria and Vulcan that he had helped in creating. Kirak seemed to have a gift for bringing people together and he became responsible for forming several coalitions between other races and Vulcan, including the alliance with the Agaron.
His unique talent was recognized by one of the leaders of the Senate who invited him to join the Senate. He became a senator and later on, a minister.
At the time that Kirak was asked to return to live on Vulcan and join the Senate, she had become pregnant. It had made his decision easy to make. By day he worked in the Senate, in the evening he took care of her. Sometimes, at night he embraced her. His fingers would draw small circles on her belly. In moments like that, she could feel their bond as they both bonded to their child.
When T'Pol was born, Kirak held the little baby in his arms, eyes full of joy. "Welcome, T'Pol," he whispered. "Welcome to the world. I am your father and this is your mother."
T'Pol-kam. She would be their only child. Her parents had been there every day of her life: feeding and training her, seeing her take her first steps and saying her first word Ko-mekh - mother. Was it only twenty-five years ago?
T'Les took a cleansing breath as the last memories faded away. She became aware of the white space again and opened her eyes. She stared into the eyes of her husband, fully opened.
"We have a child full of potential," he remarked, showing that he knew what had been on her mind. "A child rooted in Vulcan, with her katra in the stars."
As much as she was proud of T'Pol, his words were a mystery to her. "You're not being clear, Adun," she replied.
"I wish to speak with you," he answered. "Tomorrow I travel to a space station in the Dosa system, before we head out. Our goal is to find this Menos and retrieve the necessary information. But I noticed that I find it harder to concentrate on a mission than it was in my days as Captain. I have the concerns of a family. When I heard Linan, T'Pol's betrothed, and his class were on that space station in the Dosa system, following a special course, I contemplated whether to talk with him or perhaps observe him. But that would endanger the mission, so I couldn't. I must trust the reports Soval gives me about his developments. But we seemed to be right in our assessments."
"Soval has been most diligent in writing those reports," she remarked.
He didn't reply right away. Instead he searched her face. "Remember what I told you before we decided to choose Linan as T'Pol's betrothal?"
"That no man is good enough for your daughter," T'Les answered, repeating his saying from a long time ago.
Kirak raised his eyebrow in mild amusement. "While that much is true, it isn't what I am referring to." He continued "I told you about T'Pol being an intelligent, sensitive child. Strong and beautiful. She needs a husband who has a logical, open, and creative mind. A strong, intelligent man who accepts her and cares for her."
She had agreed with Kirak's line of reasoning. T'Pol was expressive and sensitive. In many ways she was much like her father, whose military life had gave him the necessary discipline. But T'Pol was female and young. She wouldn't be accepted by her own, nor would she have a life of achievements, if she let her emotions be seen on the surface. T'Les worked hard with training T'Pol so that T'Pol would have a better control of her emotions.
"And our conclusion was that Linan met those requirements," she remembered.
"Yes. It's my duty as her father to see she is well provided." He stood up and walked across the room. Out of the armoire he took out a little box. The box was made of wood. On top the lid was decorated with silvery images of birds. Kirak showed her the box.
"I want to give T'Pol this box when she has reached the age of understanding. Inside, there is medallion from your grandmother, jewelry from my mother, and several letters, written by me, addressed to her. In those letters I tell her that she has a true Vulcan katra like her mother and father and her forefathers, who have the same green blood that runs through her veins. I asked her to understand that our society doesn't always reflect the true teaching of Surak and that when the opportunity arises to study his true words, she should study them with all her katra, and power."
T'Les had heard Kirak express his concern about the ways that were promoted by some members of the Senate and the government of which he recently had become a minister. He even had talked about some of them being corrupted, a notion she had dismissed. That would have been totally illogical, as if a senator or minister would be led by emotional motives instead of logic.
Kirak returned the box to the armoire and turned to her. "Ashelik, this mission is important. I have been asked by the head of the Ministry of Security to lead this mission myself, based on my experience in the past. We have prepared the mission well and in every detail."
He knelt before her and continued "Yesterday I was told that Menos had requested me. I am puzzled about this, because I fail to see the logic of him asking for me. But I do know that we need to speak to Menos. He is the only one who has expressed the desire to speak about the people who have turned him away from his Vulcan ways and rely on violence instead of logic. I can't find any logical reason to abort the mission."
Kirak was silent for a minute. "But if there is, make sure you give the box to T'Pol at the right time. Let her know my affection for her. It isn't logical to deny the high risks of this mission and the chance I won't return to you and T'Pol."
He touched her cheek with his two fingers and without speaking she could sense his great affection for her. He was preparing himself for the unknown, while meditating on the life they had together. He was her mate in every sense of the word.
She touched the tip of his ear, a gesture she hardly had made more than two or three times since they were together. "You're my mate," she whispered. He was, in every sense of the word.
He responded and came to her. That night, their minds and bodies celebrated their union, the night before Kirak went away on a last mission, to never to return.