AN: Here's Faye's thoughts on Spikes death. She may seem kinda out of
character but I wanted her to seem like she just had a breakdown. I used
the song Bring Me to Life but I'm not sure who to give credit to. There's
actually a girl named Faye Wong who does a version of it. Since this is
all about Faye I suppose I shall give her credit. I would like to thank
Princess of Quake for giving me my first review!!! Joy! I know this isn't
the best thing in the world but I'm trying, I suppose I'll get better with
time. Anyways, without further ado, the songfic!
Disclaimer: I do not own Bebop ::pout::. _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
"Jet's out getting groceries. Don't tell him I talked to you, its just. I dunno, I wanted to get it out to someone and Jet talked to you and Spike used to so I thought I'd give it a try. If Spike saw me here, in his spot messing up his perfect spike indentation, he would kill me. Hehe. "
How can you see into my eyes like open doors? Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb.
"There was always something about the way Spike looked at me that freaked me out. It's like he could see through my little game. He saw the suffering I tried so hard to mask. I never liked it. He could see me for what I was and I didn't like it."
Without a soul; my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold, until you find it there and lead it back home.
"Now that he's gone I have realized that it was nice for someone to see me for who I was. Spike never even had to ask, he always knew exactly what was going on in my head. He never asked more than I wanted him to know and he wouldn't tell me anything about himself. He told me to forget about my past because I have a future. 'One eye sees the past, one eye sees the present.' Why the fuck did he have to tell me then? He wouldn't tell me anything and then; 'Oh yeah, by the way, since I'm going to off my self you should now the past plays over and over in my head. I'm, really fucked up and I cant wait to die. As a mater of fact I'm not even alive right now. How do you feel about that Faye. I don't even have a future all I have is my past, playing over and over again.'"
(Wake me up.) Wake me up inside. (I can't wake up.) Wake me up inside. (Save me. ) Call my name and save me from the dark. (Wake me up. ) Bid my blood to run. (I can't wake up. ) Before I come undone. (Save me. ) Save me from the nothing I've become.
"You know, fuck you Spike, I died once too. I have a future though, its called the Bebop. And you had a future too, here at the Bebop. You just don't know how much we cared about you and you just waltzed right past us without another thought. You wanted to go join your. your stupid Julia. ::sigh:: When I was cryogenically frozen I lost my past. Part of me died and I started all over. Life just wouldn't give me a break. It kept hurting me over and over again so I decided I'd stop caring. Nothing good came of feelings. I was doing fine until I met you. You saw right through my lies. You were a stupid jackass and I hated you. Then after all it took me to stop caring I started caring again. First about you, I just hated to see you go out time and time again and let Vicious beat your ass. Then I started caring about Jet, Ein, and Ed too. You revived my feelings. You brought me back to life."
Now that I know what I'm without you can't just leave me. Breathe into me and make me real. Bring me to life.
"And then you died. Leaving me here, cold and alone. You have no idea how much I cared about you. And.. ::sob:: no, I won't cry."
(Wake me up.) Wake me up inside. (I can't wake up.) Wake me up inside. (Save me. ) Call my name and save me from the dark. (Wake me up. ) Bid my blood to run. (I can't wake up. ) Before I come undone. (Save me. ) Save me from the nothing I've become.
"I'm sorry Mr. Fan, its just I start talking about Spike and.. I guess I go kinda crazy. I mean, my whole life had been a game until I met him. I was just playing stupid games and obsessing over my past and he. he changed that. He. he showed me that I had something here and now. But I still obsessed over my past, despite his warnings. I went searching for it and while I was gone I lost the only thing I had. Julia told me to tell him she'd be waiting, he would know what she meant. Maybe if I had told him how much I care. Maybe I could have changed his mind."
Bring me to life. I've been living a lie/There's nothing inside. Bring me to life.
Frozen inside without your touch, without your love, darling. Only you are the life among the dead.
"I. I miss him. I need him, I need him to help me and annoy me and. I need him to just be Spike. Without him I don't know what to do. Maybe if I hadn't given him that message."
All of this sight I can't believe I couldn't see Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me I've been sleeping a 1000 years it seems. I've got to open my eyes to everything. Without a thought Without a voice Without a soul Don't let me die here/There must be something more. Bring me to life.
"Who am I kidding? It was Spike's destiny. He would have died, just like that, no matter what I had done. He would have loved Julia and they would have been reunited, no matter what I had done. I guess it was only fair, he was already dead. I was dead too, but now. now I'm alive again."
(Wake me up.) Wake me up inside. (I can't wake up.) Wake me up inside. (Save me. ) Call my name and save me from the dark. (Wake me up. ) Bid my blood to run. (I can't wake up. ) Before I come undone. (Save me. ) Save me from the nothing I've become.
"Now I'm all alone. Spike isn't here anymore so I guess I can't depend on him to keep me alive. I have my memory back. I still have Jet, and maybe with time Ed will come around. I guess I have to start another life again. Maybe I'll see you again someday Spike. I know I liked to get on your nerves and piss you off and I know you liked to get on my nerves and piss me off but I just want you to know. I. I love you. And thank you. See you, space cowboy."
Bring me to life. I've been living a lie/There's nothing inside. Bring me to life
"Thanks for that chat Mr. Fan. I see why Spike liked to talk to you. I can hear Jet outside. Maybe I'll go help him bring the groceries in."
Disclaimer: I do not own Bebop ::pout::. _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
"Jet's out getting groceries. Don't tell him I talked to you, its just. I dunno, I wanted to get it out to someone and Jet talked to you and Spike used to so I thought I'd give it a try. If Spike saw me here, in his spot messing up his perfect spike indentation, he would kill me. Hehe. "
How can you see into my eyes like open doors? Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb.
"There was always something about the way Spike looked at me that freaked me out. It's like he could see through my little game. He saw the suffering I tried so hard to mask. I never liked it. He could see me for what I was and I didn't like it."
Without a soul; my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold, until you find it there and lead it back home.
"Now that he's gone I have realized that it was nice for someone to see me for who I was. Spike never even had to ask, he always knew exactly what was going on in my head. He never asked more than I wanted him to know and he wouldn't tell me anything about himself. He told me to forget about my past because I have a future. 'One eye sees the past, one eye sees the present.' Why the fuck did he have to tell me then? He wouldn't tell me anything and then; 'Oh yeah, by the way, since I'm going to off my self you should now the past plays over and over in my head. I'm, really fucked up and I cant wait to die. As a mater of fact I'm not even alive right now. How do you feel about that Faye. I don't even have a future all I have is my past, playing over and over again.'"
(Wake me up.) Wake me up inside. (I can't wake up.) Wake me up inside. (Save me. ) Call my name and save me from the dark. (Wake me up. ) Bid my blood to run. (I can't wake up. ) Before I come undone. (Save me. ) Save me from the nothing I've become.
"You know, fuck you Spike, I died once too. I have a future though, its called the Bebop. And you had a future too, here at the Bebop. You just don't know how much we cared about you and you just waltzed right past us without another thought. You wanted to go join your. your stupid Julia. ::sigh:: When I was cryogenically frozen I lost my past. Part of me died and I started all over. Life just wouldn't give me a break. It kept hurting me over and over again so I decided I'd stop caring. Nothing good came of feelings. I was doing fine until I met you. You saw right through my lies. You were a stupid jackass and I hated you. Then after all it took me to stop caring I started caring again. First about you, I just hated to see you go out time and time again and let Vicious beat your ass. Then I started caring about Jet, Ein, and Ed too. You revived my feelings. You brought me back to life."
Now that I know what I'm without you can't just leave me. Breathe into me and make me real. Bring me to life.
"And then you died. Leaving me here, cold and alone. You have no idea how much I cared about you. And.. ::sob:: no, I won't cry."
(Wake me up.) Wake me up inside. (I can't wake up.) Wake me up inside. (Save me. ) Call my name and save me from the dark. (Wake me up. ) Bid my blood to run. (I can't wake up. ) Before I come undone. (Save me. ) Save me from the nothing I've become.
"I'm sorry Mr. Fan, its just I start talking about Spike and.. I guess I go kinda crazy. I mean, my whole life had been a game until I met him. I was just playing stupid games and obsessing over my past and he. he changed that. He. he showed me that I had something here and now. But I still obsessed over my past, despite his warnings. I went searching for it and while I was gone I lost the only thing I had. Julia told me to tell him she'd be waiting, he would know what she meant. Maybe if I had told him how much I care. Maybe I could have changed his mind."
Bring me to life. I've been living a lie/There's nothing inside. Bring me to life.
Frozen inside without your touch, without your love, darling. Only you are the life among the dead.
"I. I miss him. I need him, I need him to help me and annoy me and. I need him to just be Spike. Without him I don't know what to do. Maybe if I hadn't given him that message."
All of this sight I can't believe I couldn't see Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me I've been sleeping a 1000 years it seems. I've got to open my eyes to everything. Without a thought Without a voice Without a soul Don't let me die here/There must be something more. Bring me to life.
"Who am I kidding? It was Spike's destiny. He would have died, just like that, no matter what I had done. He would have loved Julia and they would have been reunited, no matter what I had done. I guess it was only fair, he was already dead. I was dead too, but now. now I'm alive again."
(Wake me up.) Wake me up inside. (I can't wake up.) Wake me up inside. (Save me. ) Call my name and save me from the dark. (Wake me up. ) Bid my blood to run. (I can't wake up. ) Before I come undone. (Save me. ) Save me from the nothing I've become.
"Now I'm all alone. Spike isn't here anymore so I guess I can't depend on him to keep me alive. I have my memory back. I still have Jet, and maybe with time Ed will come around. I guess I have to start another life again. Maybe I'll see you again someday Spike. I know I liked to get on your nerves and piss you off and I know you liked to get on my nerves and piss me off but I just want you to know. I. I love you. And thank you. See you, space cowboy."
Bring me to life. I've been living a lie/There's nothing inside. Bring me to life
"Thanks for that chat Mr. Fan. I see why Spike liked to talk to you. I can hear Jet outside. Maybe I'll go help him bring the groceries in."