First off thank you for your nice reviews :) your comments are muchly appreaciated and if you wave and question/remarks don't hesetate to let me know.
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Jerking awake, Hardison's eyes few open in an instant. He sat up, breathing heavily and soaked to the bones in cold sweat while shivering from the sudden rush of cold air to his wet skin. Unfortunately his blanket had fallen to in the ground by his jerking motion.
Truth be told, the hacker couldn't remember a time when he didn't wake up in the middle of the night from a bad dream. They hadn't always been that terrible but that seemed like such a long time ago for him.
It might have started when he first agreed to work with Nate and the other guys to play Robin Hood and his band of merry thieves for the first time, but it might very well have been some time after that. He honestly couldn't remember. The past got fuzzy after too many night without sleep.
All he knew is that shortly after joining Leverage Consulting he couldn't sleep through the night anymore.
Generally speaking his dreams weren't that bad at all. Sometimes they were even pleasant, leaving him with a lingering feeling of warmth and love, but at some point he always violently jerked out of them.
Right before the big reveal.
Who was the person loving him so much? Holding him in his dreams and soothing his nightmares?
So many question.
But lately it were the other kind of dreams that kept him up at night working on their next heist or researching the bad guys history. The others might think he was dedicated to the job or high on his power drinks, but in reality he was fleeing from the horrible and confusing images that came creeping into his mind whenever he gave up and let sleep come.
If they only knew.
The dreams were the actual reason for him to drink that horrible stuff to begin with. He had learned early on that there was only so much off coffee a person could drink before feeling violently sick.
Not sleeping meant for Hardison to escape the confusing and painful thoughts that came more frequently these days.
They were like a sudden thought running through you mind at the speed of light, too fast to hold onto it, like the one important answer in the back of your head, shifting just out of reach whenever you tried to grab it.
As much as he wreaked his brain to remember the dreams, he seldomly could. It was la pointless task, like Tantarus who stood in a lake of water and yet never being able to drink it.
Hardison felt like that a lot of times.
There were those rare moment right after waking up, when his mind hadn't registered that his body had woken, that he could hold onto a few of those images – but that was all he could ever make out.
Images.
Pictures of him running around, smiling to someone on the path beside him.
A man in a suit.
A mad man and a blue box.
Stars that weren't stars and planets that weren't planet. People that weren't humans and humans that weren't people. He knew he had been there and yet he knew it couldn't be real. Those were the images of dreams where you knew the person you saw is you but as soon as you blink it's someone else or no one has ever being there.
The endless search for a face amongst thousands, in a crowded place and when you finally find him again and get him to turn… you wake up, and the memory is lost.
Hardison wished he knew who the person was he missed so much. He might not remember what was missing, but he felt the whole in his heart where a lover should have been.
He let his head sink back into the pillows and shut his eyes again. Who knew what dreams may come. 'Maybe this time I'll remember' was the last thought that passed through Hardison mind before a new wave of sleep engulfed him.
Right before he drifted off he could have sworn he heard a man's voice whisper in his ear, "sorry darling" but he forgot came the next morning.
TBC...