It's been eight months now, since Sid rejected me. Anwar hasn't spoken to me, Cassie is still wrong to this day, and Jal is still right. I did have issues. Big ones. Not just the extreme diet and excercise. But with binging on pills and alcohol and chucking it back up. The smoking spliff for energy, the drinking next to nothing bar a few sips of water. The lack of sleep.
It all added up to a very bad ending if I kept going the way I was. When Jal came to see me that time after I passed out in the gym and told me what a stupid bastard I'd been I'd woken up. I'd gotten counselling, started eating, stopped taking pills and drinking. Stopped binging, gave up the spliff. I cut down on the working out, dancing twice a week at most.
Most of my "mates" dissappeared. I expected that. But Jal stuck by me, so did Sid. Surprisingly, so did Chris. Giving up (mostly) on the spliff, drink and drugs, they've been great support for me. I won't lie though. It's been hell, every step. It wasn't a complete change, right away. It couldn't happen overnight.
I started with the drugs and alcohol. Then I began sleeping more, eating more. A few weeks after that I change my work out habits. Slowly, but I did it. I still have a smoke every now and then, though. a sneaky spliff every now and then, too. Less often than the cigarettes.
I have a boyfriend now. This guy called James I know. Met him at college. Totally different classes though. He knows why I'm so careful about drink and drugs and working out and food. He's okay with it. It's been three months since we met and things are looking up by the day.
I have a new routine now; a new man and a new look on life. Never made it up with Cassie though. She took off to America and never came back. I feel happier and healthier, and getting out of bed without wanting to collapse is a good thing. So is not having everything burn, fade and blur around me until they crash and burn. Be it my body, my senses, or my heart.
I guess things have changed now. For the better.