Disclaimer : Both Hetalia and the plot are not mineeee

Warnings : AU, BL, curses, grammatical errors, unbeta-ed. Slow updates.

A/N : Hello, Heavel here. :D This is the first official chapter. Sorry for the slow update.. coz, yeah.. I'm busy with school. Totally busy ==a

This chapter is un-beta-ed. My Beta is busy with her school too. But I will post the revision later :3

Anyway, enjoy it. :D

-1-

January 4, 2010

I slammed the door to my flat and pulled my hair out of frustration. How the hell could he not remember me? It just didn't make any fucking sense! We had been going out for three years! THREE DAMN YEARS! And suddenly he didn't even know who I was! He forgot everything… EVERY DAMN THING! Was he making fun of my feelings? Was he trying to take revenge on me or something? What the fucking hell did he want?

I groaned and took a deep breath. We did have a big fight three days ago.. .and i-it was partially my fault… I was just about to apologize… I was being nice because I didn't want to fight and he should be grateful for that! But no. He had to be an idiot and ruin it all!

"H-Hey."

Arthur looked at me with his brilliant green eyes. I was so relieved he hadn't cursed me or yelled at me the moment he noticed me. All he did was giving me a weird frown.

"Yes?" I stared at him, dumbfounded. His tone sounded formal. Way too formal. I had prepared myself for more violent reaction, but not that overly calm response, as if nothing had happened.

"W-well… It was about our fight… I…"

His fuzzy eyebrows met and gave me the look as if I had sprouted a second head, "I beg your pardon?"

I was even more confused, "Uh… Remember our fight recently? I just wanna say… sorry."

"I am sorry, Mister, but I believe we have only met now. We cannot have had a fight before. You must have talked to the wrong person."

What?

"A-Arthur… you… What are you talking about? You're kidding me, aren't you?"

His face didn't betray any hint of jest It was that one expression I knew so well, the expression he only wore when he was deadly serious. Deadly serious that he didn't know me.

"Why should I kid with you? Look, I really don't know who you are, Mister—"

"What's wrong, mon cher?"

I looked up and saw a blond man coming towards us. He was obviously French, I just knew it from his accent. He approached Arthur and kissed him on the lips. I just stared at them, gaping.

That French guy just kissed my boyfriend… he—

"F-Francis! Stop that! Not in public, idiot!" Arthur yelled as he shoved the Frenchman away. His cheeks were blushing furiously. No… It can't be… Something's definitely wrong here. NO ONE was allowed to make Arthur blush like that! It should've been me! What the hell was going on here?

That Francis guy smirked and looked back at me, "Are you okay, Monsieur?"

I just stared at him, unable to make any coherent response. Arthur was looking at me too, his face still showed a tint of pink. I turned around and left that damn place.

What the hell was going on? Damn it. I threw myself on my bed that looked a lot bigger than it used to be. I bit my lip and buried my face in the pillow, trying to stop the damn tears that were threatening to leak out of my eyelids.

It hurt.

That damn Brit left me, betrayed me, dated someone else, and even acted as if we had never met. It had only been three fucking days! No… He must have fucked with that French bastard even before we fought at all… He had been waiting for it, looking forward to the moment when he could toss me away like a trash. And he must have been some kind of great actor to deceive me and play with my feelings like he did today. He must be laughing behind my back right now, laughing about how foolish I had been before his eyes.

I sneered heartlessly, covering my wet eyes with one arm. I should have known… I should have known that he was such a slut. I should be fucking grateful now that both my eyes were fully awake, no longer clouded by his lies and false charm. Now that I had freed myself from him, I could date anyone I want and shove my new lover as his substitute, right in front of his eyes. If he could move on in three days, I could too.

I deserve someone else a million times better, and I would definitely forget everything about someone called Arthur Kirkland.

…Forget about someone who broke my heart today.

5 January 2010

I woke up this morning with a bad headache. I groaned as I rose up from my bed and held my head with one of my hand. Damn it.. Stupid hangover.

I've drank all of my alcohols last night out of my depression and now I regret it thoroughly... It's all because of him. I was having a hangover because of him but he must be enjoying himself like a slut he was. Maybe being fucked by someone? I didn't care. I would forget about him. He was my past. Yes. I would not think of him ever again.

I slipped out of my bed and reached the table beside for my glasses. I sighed and could feel the throbbing inside my head being more intense. I needed the hangover pills now.

I walked across my bedroom to my bathroom and then opened the cabinet inside. Thank God, I was not out of the pills. I swallowed some and sighed. Now let's just wait for the medicine to work.

I opened my eyes and looked at reflection on the mirror. I looked so damn terrible. There were dark circles under my red eyes. My hair was so messed up. My appearance, overall, was just plain horrible. I could not help but pity myself.

I had decided that I would definitely forget him... I had decided that I would definitely move on. I had decided that I would never think about him ever again.

I had made the decisions last night...

But... why was it so difficult, Goddamnit?

I tried to act like my usual self, but it was so fuckin' difficult. What happened yesterday, as much as I didn't want to admit, had hurt me for real. My broken heart was just couldn't handle it depsite what I had told myself. The mask that i used for today was really fragile. I was afraid that it would break and showed off my pitiful, horrible state.

I tried to think of something else, but it was not easy to focus on something else when your mind kept wandering to show you a event you hated over, over and over again.

I could not stop thinking about him, about arthur kirkland, the one that had put me in this miserable state. I could not stop the replaying scene from yesterday being played again and again. I could not stop myself from asking 'why? Why? Why?'. Thousands of why questions were kept still in my mind with no answers.

I could not keep myself composed. I kept getting angry, then sad, then depressed, then angry again, just like a fucking cycle. Although it was only the first day... It had made me so damn depressed that i knew i would not be able to live my normal life if it still continued. I should stop it. I must stop it.

Some of my co-workers looked at me worriedly, but I just smiled at them, told lies to them about how I was fine. There was nothing wrong with me.. It was getting harder and finally lunch break came. I could not appreciate more.

I walked outside my room quickly and went out of my office building, letting my own feet brought me somewhere so that I could relax my mind and take some fresh air.

I arrived at a park nearby. Not really crowded and not really noisy. What a perfect place to rest my mind.

I sat on a park bench and took a deep breath. I put out my cigarettes and lit it up and then inhale it. Smoking was always nice to relax your mind (despite how unhealthy it was). That was when my eyes saw an object in the corner of my eye.

A newspaper. A good thing when you need distraction, like me.

I took it and look at the front page and I started to read the articles and news. Nothing was interesting. It was all about crime, politics, economy, gossip and so on. Until I read an odd advertisement.

'Having trouble in forgetting someone? Do you want to move on and live a new life? Do not want to trap too long in your misery? Then, let us help you!

We are 'R&E', the only company in New York that can help you to forget, erase your memories, for the only purpose that is to give you a better life, another chance.

Interested? Come quickly to the address or contact us from numbers written below

We are exist to help'

...

…..

Okay. That advertisement was way too weird. Was that advertisement real? It sounded suspicious and like a prank. I skipped through the advertisement and continued reading the newspaper.

Hmm, maybe that advertisement was odd, but what if the ad was real? What if the company can do help you forget?

I read the advertisement back again.

It would not hurt to pay a visit to the company's office. If it was true, than it mean my problem would be solved. I could forget about him and move on with my life like he was never existed.

Just like what happened to my existence in his mind...

With that thought, I grinned and wrote down the address and then went back to my office.

Right after my office hours ended, I got to my car (that was scratched rather badly thanks to what happened yesterday night. Damn that bastard) and drove to the company address.

15 minutes later, I arrived at the address, and now here I was, inside a waiting room of the company.

There were not so many people inside the waiting room but I frowned slightly as I saw people's expressions in here. All of them had this either sad, miserable or upset face. Was this a place for miserable people? Was that mean I'm miserable? Damn.

I walked past the room, right through the counter.

''Hi?''

The woman behind the counter looked up at me and smiled softly. She had brown hair with flower pin on one side of her head. ''Welcome to 'R&E'. I am Elizaveta Edelstein. May I help you?''

I smiled back and pull out the advertisement from my pocket. ''Well, i read this ad and it said you guys can... Help us forget?'' said I slowly as I started to doubt the whole plan to even come and ask. Wasting of time. In the back of my mind, voices were screaming idiot, moron, and stupid. I was going crazy.

''Yes, that's true! Our company can help you erase part of memories you want to get rid off with our latest technologies!'' replied the woman—Elizaveta—eagerly, didn't notice my obvious doubt. I bet many people were as confused as me. I asked her then.

''Well then, can you explain about the procedures briefly?''

''Certainly! I will explain it shortly. Doctor Edelstein will explain the procedure in more details than what I've told you, Mister!''

The woman then cheerfully explained about the services, type of it, the procedures and some histories behind the technology and so on.. I didn't pay much attention anymore to what she said as I thought about this service inside my head, considering the pros and cons and reconsidering again my decision.

But yeah, my decision was the same like before but it sounded better. I would like these people to erase the part of my memories about him and poof! Everything would be like it used to be, even better. I was sure about it.

''So, are you interested in using our services?''

I snapped out of my thoughts and blinked at the worker. She smiled professionally and tilted her head to the side, waiting for my answer. The faster the better.

''Well, yes actually. So what I'm supposed to do?'' The woman's smile became brighter.

''Great! Well, you need to fill this form first-it will be kept as a secret, don't worry-and then we can arrange your meeting with Dr. Edelstein right away! You can fill it while seated there and then just give it back to me whenever you are finished. If you are confused with some of the questions, feel free to asked!" said Elizaveta, passing me a paper and also a pen. I nodded at her and then walked back to where the seats were placed.

As I sat down, I began to fill in the form. Although I had already seen the people that sat in this room, their grim expressions still astonished me. What made more surprise was… how these people brought many things with them. There were some that brought necklace, doll, clothes, albums and many else. What the hell with that random things? I sighed and quickly finishing the form and then gave it back to Elizaveta. She smiled while muttering, "That's quick" and then wrote down something on a paper.

"Here is the slip for you appointment with Doctor Edelstein. It's tomorrow at 3'o clock. Is that fine with you, Mr—" She quickly looked back at the form. "Mr. Jones?"

"Yes. Thanks you err.. Are you married with the doctor? "

"Well, yes! He is my husband! A very lovely one that I love so much. You can just call me Elizaveta though.. It's weird to be called Mrs Edelstein although it does make me happy—" she giggled and smiled brightly. What a nice thing that she could spend her life with someone she loved—Damn. I started to think about him again. I didn't love him anymore. I didn't love him anymore. He was nothing… I shook my head and smiled at the happy woman.

"Well, then. Thank you, Elizaveta. I will come back tomorrow," said I and the walked out of the buildings to my car. I dropped my head to the steer in front of me and sighing heavily. Now that I had made a big step for forgetting him, I thought I could at least sleep tight tonight…

With a few bottles of alcohol maybe…

A/N : So here it is! The 1st official chapter! What do you think of it? A bit weird.. but yeah..

anyway, I am busy with school and stuffs.. so of course I cannot update this story frequently. Sorry about that.

Well, so please tell me your thoughts by reviewing this story! I love reviewssssssssssss!

okay then!

see ya!

Love,

Heavel Veldargone :3