Strength and Healing
Chapter 2
AN: I do want to take a moment to say this—it has been a sad week in the world, so I want to dedicate this chapter to those who have been affected by the tragedies in France and in the Middle East and Asia. I don't know where you all are from, but if you've been affected by needless violence, I want to extend my deepest condolences. As a fellow human being, I want no part in any of this violence, whether in offense or so-called "defense."
Alright, on with Chapter 2! Thank you all for the wonderful reviews I got on the first chapter. I was told this story wasn't showing up in the Criminal Minds archive. Is it now? I don't know how often chapters will have flashbacks. If something occurs to me, or if there is something you all really want to see, I'll add one to a particular chapter. Also, chapters for this story will probably be shorter and it may take longer for me to update—I'm graduating this year and I am about to get a job. But don't fear—I will not abandon this story and I will try not to make you guys wait more than a week for updates.
Disclaimer: I do not own CM characters. They belong to ABC, CBS, etc., but not me. If I did own them, neither actress playing these women would have been fired and Jemily would be an actual canon thing.
I also want to add that I fortunately do not suffer from PTSD. I don't know exactly how it works, but I want to do my best to treat JJ's situation with care. So, please correct any mistakes I make, particularly involving this subject. TRIGGER WARNING for conversations about rape and violence.
–Gabby
"Never be ashamed of a scar. It simply means you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you."
-Unknown
The way that Emily turned around in that instant resembled a movie moment. Indeed, Emily felt like she was in a movie. How could she have run into a particular person twice in one year after having absolutely no contact for the previous two decades?
The brunette didn't even know what to say. She was still working through her shock at the situation. She was also trying to get over the bomb of anger that had exploded within her. How dare she speak to Emily….
The woman in question was waiting for Emily to respond. She knew she had caught her in an un-guarded moment and was anxiously awaiting her chance to pounce.
The moment brown eyes met green Emily couldn't help herself any longer. She reached out and grabbed the other woman's wrist roughly, much more roughly than she would ever dream of touching her wife, and all but dragged her into a private alley.
Emily didn't even think before she began speaking, a fire in her voice that could rival the heat of the sun. "Why the hell are you even still in this country?"
The redhead smirked. "You think I'm afraid enough of you to leave?" She snorted. "I have to hand it to you. You and Jayje put up a united front that day in the café. I was impressed. But c'mon, you and I both know she couldn't fight off a teddy bear."
"Erin, I swear to you," Emily snarled, "I will not hesitate knock you into a coma. You better be careful what you say to me."
Erin giggled. "That protectiveness," she observed with a sly wink. "It's damn right sexy." The manipulative woman made quick work of her surroundings, noting that nobody could see them and JJ was nowhere to be found. She lowered her voice. "Why don't you come back to my apartment?" She stepped impossibly closer to Emily, and the brunette let her because she was just waiting for an excuse to kill her. "I promise to give you everything you've been missing out on for who knows how long with that weak little flower…."
That was it. The sentence had barely escaped Erin's lips before Emily's fist made contact. The brunette profiler allowed a moment to pass for Erin to regain her bearing before getting within inches of her bruised eye and speaking. "That was with hesitation. If I ever lay eyes on you again, I will rip your throat out. Understood?"
Erin made one last attempt to laugh through her pain. "That anger….You seem to be in desperate need of release. C'mon, JJ isn't even here."
Emily's hand jerked in response to the comment, but she stopped herself in her tracks. "You're not worth it," she muttered before turning around in order to make her way back to her car. She had been gone for nearly an hour and JJ would surely begin to worry. She turned back to Erin once more. "No one saw any of that, so if you want to report this incident, I'll have to tell local PD and my team everything you've done, including the sexual harassment today, which, by the way, you can be prosecuted for."
The angry brunette strode back to her car, leaving Erin in shock. She knew she reacted with impulsive anger and probably hadn't made the best decisions in the last few minutes, but with the anniversary of JJ's abduction and all that came with it, Emily couldn't help being reactive. Her wife would know something had happened even if she tried to hide it. Emily decided to make JJ her pancakes and ignore it for as long as she could before she absolutely had to tell her about her interaction with that evil bitch, Erin. Emily couldn't believe the woman (she hated even using that word to describe what that thing was) had actually come on to her when she was clearly committed to JJ. What nerve.
Once she got in the car, Emily took out her phone and pushed speed dial 1.
"Emily?"
The profiler was still extremely angry, but the sound of her wife's voice on the other end of her phone calmed her down exponentially. "Hey, Jen," she sighed. "It took me a little longer than usual, but I should be home in about ten minutes. Is everything okay there?" she asked, pulling out of her parking spot.
"Yeah, everything's good," JJ replied, a hint of concern in her voice. "Are you okay? You sound a little flustered?"
Emily tried to laugh it off. "Yeah, just a long line in the grocery store. I guess a lot of people needed stuff for breakfast," she explained, which wasn't a complete lie—the store was a little crowded.
"You've always been a little impatient—well, with everyone except for me," JJ observed with a gentle laugh. "Okay, well I don't want you to be talking on the phone and driving."
"Yeah," Emily agreed. "Okay, love, see you in a few minutes."
"Love you, Em. Bye," JJ said before hanging up the phone and going to sit on the couch to wait for her wife.
Emily placed her cell phone inside the compartment in the center console and sighed dramatically. Her life was a romantic comedy mixed with a tragedy and a horror movie. She guessed that was the way life was.
"I appreciate you taking the time yesterday to show me around," Emily thanked JJ as they sat in a bar the day after she had joined the team.
JJ nodded. "Of course. It was no problem."
The women were instantly intrigued by one another and wanted to learn as much as they could about each other as fast as possible. The two had gotten into a conversation of favorites.
"What kind of movies do you like?" JJ asked at some point.
"I like horror movies," Emily had replied with a chuckle at her own expense.
"Really?" JJ questioned in surprised. "I would think you'd have seen enough horror stories in Interpol."
Emily shrugged. "It's a guilty pleasure. And you?"
"I'm not much of a movie person. In fact," laughed the blonde, "I much prefer musicals."
Emily raised an eyebrow. "Musicals? Like Cabaret and Cats? But, they're so happy!"
JJ laughed. "You've obviously never seen Cabaret. Musicals are much more realistic than you'd think, actually. Aside from the random dancing and spontaneous singing, of course. My favorite shows can make you laugh one moment and cry the next. I think real life is a lot like that."
"Emily, can we talk?"
Emily was instantly unnerved by the tone in her wife's voice.
"What's going on, love?" Emily questioned as she put the last plate from dinner in the sink and went to sit back down next to JJ at the table.
"Something is going on with you," JJ pointed out. "I don't know what it is but it's not good and it's been bothering you all day."
Emily sighed. "Jennifer, this is probably not the best time to have this conversation."
"Why?" JJ was becoming upset. "Because of post-traumatic stress? Emily, I'm going to spend the rest of my life with PTSD. You can't censor yourself for my benefit tomorrow. Honestly, it gives me more anxiety than it takes away."
"Okay. I'll tell you. But you have to promise to try not to get upset."
"I can promise to try. But I can't control how I react to things, Em. Whatever it is seems like a big deal."
Emily took a deep breath. "Everything is okay. I promise. You understand that?"
JJ breathed out forcefully. "The longer you stall, the more upset I'm getting, Em."
"I saw Erin today," Emily blurted in a rushed breath.
JJ immediately stood up. "You…you what?"
"She was at the grocery store," Emily attempted to explain, standing up and reaching out a hand to her wife to keep her calm. "She called my name. I turned around."
JJ turned from her wife's touch. "My Erin?" JJ clarified, hoping for an extended moment that Emily was referring to their section chief, Erin Strauss.
Emily nodded, causing a ball of nausea to rise in JJ's throat.
"What did she say to you?" JJ all but choked out.
"She, um…." This was the part that Emily was dreading telling JJ the most, but she had to trust that her wife trusted her. "She came on to me actually?"
The look on JJ's face was one that cannot be described. "She what?"
Emily decided that total honesty was probably the best route at this point. "Sit down, Jen." JJ for some reason felt an immediate obligation to obey, so she did as she was told.
"Jennifer," Emily began, lifting her wife's hand off the table and placing a kiss to the back of it, "you know that I would never even dream of-"
JJ cut her off. "What did she tell you?"
Emily sighed. "She implied that she could 'give me what I've been missing out on with you.'"
The disgust in the profiler's voice was evident, but JJ already felt defeated. "She's probably right, to be honest."
Emily couldn't believe what she was hearing. She sat down next to JJ and physically turned her wife's chair so she faced her. "What?"
JJ ran her right hand through her hair, and with a slouch and a dejected sigh repeated, "She was probably right."
Emily felt anger surge through her again, but she was careful to make sure JJ understood the anger wasn't being directed towards her. She reached out and with two finger, gently lifted JJ's chin so her eyes met Emily's. "Where is this coming from?"
"I don't know," JJ replied, shaking her head, anxiety spreading through her veins.
Emily nodded, mostly to herself, as the reason for JJ's return to self-doubt became evident. "Is this because of the nightmare this morning and because of last night?" The night before had been quite eventful. Emily and JJ had attempted to have sex (which Emily wasn't sure about to begin with) and it had ended with a panic attack on JJ's part, which was not unexpected. Emily felt at fault, but to be truthful, it was those piercing blue eyes that she couldn't say no to. They had been having sex regularly for a couple of months, and it wasn't until the night before that JJ had experienced an intense negative reaction. It was easy to conclude that it was due to the first anniversary.
JJ tried desperately to break eye contact with her wife, but with gentle force, Emily managed to hold her wife's chin up. Eventually, the blonde nodded. "But why would Erin say that to you if it wasn't true?"
"Erin lied to you all the time. What are you talking about?"
"But why would she lie to you?"
"Jennifer," Emily breathed, "Erin is a manipulative narcissist. That's what they do. You have to know that."
"I do," JJ agreed. "It's just hard to be objective here."
"Hey," Emily said, offering a hint of optimism, "you survived the first anniversary of your abduction. You've survived for a whole year. Three hundred sixty-five days of step-by-step recovery. That's impressive."
JJ nodded. "You're right. So, what did you do when she came on to you?" JJ asked, already knowing the answer.
"I hit her in her stupid face."
AN: Alright, I hope you enjoyed chapter 2. Do you think Emily scared Erin off this time? Please leave a review for me!