Nothing changes. Nothing and everything. Seth attempts to drive the video from his mind but it tugs at him like an insistent child, demanding his attention constantly. Sitting alone in the first class lounge at the airport one night he almost deletes it – but even if it turns his stomach and riddles him with some kind of misplaced jealousy, he can't bring himself to do it.

Dean and Roman know exactly the kind of person he is and they're smart enough to know he could use this kind of thing against them, which means whatever Dean has on his phone must be worse. Seth can't remember doing anything with him that would end his career; but he does remember, vividly, a lot of things he would never live down. A hot, twisting feeling of humiliation grows in his gut and he pushes the whole thing aside and decides to deal with it another day.

Another day comes sooner than he had hoped.

He's in a meeting with Hunter and some other execs and someone is droning on about branding. The second a slideshow presentation started, Seth had lost interest and started staring out the window. His mind is drifting restlessly between planning a new workout and drafting out his next match when he feels his watch buzz on his wrist. Someone is calling him. He checks it subtly enough to not be rude almost knocks his coffee off the desk when he sees the number.

He tells himself he wouldn't have answered even if he could but his fingers are itching under the table, tapping against his thigh and suddenly his clothes feel a little too tight. He wants to make an excuse to leave – fuck; they're calling again – but no way can he justify this to himself.

Maybe the temptation to open old wounds is too much for all of them because although it would always be painful, there was a sweet kind of indulgence in it, for Seth at least.

Or maybe its curiosity. Dean and Roman never saw eye to eye, Seth can't even remember how many times he had to stop them brawling in the parking lot in front of everyone, but now they seem to be getting along just fine. Three would always be an awkward number. Especially with Dean being so giving, and Roman so unyielding, and Seth so fastidious - it's really no wonder they ended up this way. Dean would actively let bad things happen to him, if that was even possible, and sometimes Seth thinks he knew all along he'd get his heart broken, he just didn't care. Roman would be there to pick up the pieces for all of time and Dean knew that too. As long as he had someone, he would survive. Seth thinks briefly that he probably never understood Roman that well, just thought of him as the one constant in their lives, like a huge rock steadfast in a vicious sea - once he was the thing Dean would beat himself bloody against, now he was the only thing stopping him from drowning. Dean would crawl into anyone's bed if they showed him the tiniest bit of compassion because that's who he was, he loved too deeply and too quickly, attached another person over the top of scars where the previous had been ripped away, and some scars are deeper than others, until that part of him was barely even him anymore-

'-Your thoughts?'

Seth blinks and clears his throat and shifts in his seat. 'Uh, yeah. Sorry, can we just go over that one more time?'

He can't even wait until he gets home to check his phone, so he skips the post meeting lunch and ducks outside into the rain, jogs to his car a little quicker than he would have liked and wrenches the door open. Just the sound of water pattering on the roof and he has two missed calls and a voicemail. His heart thuds somewhere in his throat and he feels a quick and ridiculous stab of nerves in his side like a knife.

He's not in a place where he can save Roman's number, he doesn't want the association of it, it seems like too much, maybe its too real. So he just scrolls through to the message and puts it on speaker.

'You wouldn't believe what I have in front of me right now.' Roman's voice. He sounds self-satisfied and worn out and Seth resists the urge to throw his phone again.

'I know you're busy champ, but, I just wanted to share this with you because it's, well…you know.' He was smirking, Seth knew it and he could almost see Roman's expression-

'H-oly fuck,' Dean's voice, drawn out and throaty and choked-sounding. 'Oh my god,'

Seth chews his tongue and stares unseeingly at the cars outside with his pulse thudding in his neck.

Roman's voice again, closer to the phone this time. 'I've been fucking him for two hours and I'm not letting him come.'

Seth's stomach flips and he breathes out hard through his nose, closes his eyes.

'You ever do that to him? Wanna take bets on when he starts bawlin'?'

Dean's voice, further away but not far enough. 'Please please please please-'

The windows are steaming up and Seth rubs over his face with his free hand, scrapes his fingers back through his hair.

'He's so pretty when he's like this, you should see it.'

Seth's eyes snap open. That wasn't an invitation, it wasn't, it-

'Not that you deserve to.'

He swallows and sinks down in his seat, sucks his bottom lip and bites on it. Roman is still talking and Seth feels like something's sitting on his chest.

'He wanted to know if you liked the video. I'm sure it took you right back to the good old days, huh.'

A noise from Dean, an urgent, desperate noise.

'He's gonna come just thinking about you watching it all alone.'

A scuffle as the phone is passed closer to Dean, a mewling sound that turns into a moan and it sinks right into Seth, right through his skin and into his bones. It gets louder and harder and then tapers off into nothing. Bed springs creaking and hurried breathing and then Dean again, almost like he's crying –

'O-h my go-d, fuck, oh my god, oh my-'

The voicemail cuts off and Seth is left with silence pressing in on him, pressure from all sides and he is so hard his dick is throbbing in his suit pants-

He chucks his phone into the foot well and hoists his hips up. Drags the zip open and shoves his boxers aside, fumbling, rushed. He grabs his cock and jerks himself once, twice; Dean's moans still filling his head and Roman's huge hands on his body fucking him apart, the two of them sliding together, sweat and red raw mouths and Seth is coming into his fists with shuddering jerks of his hips.

Someone bangs on the car window and Seth jumps so much he almost shouts – the glass is fogged up enough, no one could see, surely no one would - who the fuck –

He wipes his hand on the mat under his feet and rearranges himself and whoever the fuck it is, they're rapping on the window again with their knuckles, and his dick is barely back in his pants when they pull the door open on him – its Hunter.

He falters a little when he sees Seth, and Seth feels like his skin is a thousand degrees, he must be so red and blotchy and flustered-looking-

'Hey, hey Hunter, uh,'

'You okay man? You look…'

'I'm just feeling a little off, you know, ate something bad, uh…'

The permanent crease in Hunter's brow deepens and Seth is a good liar, he's sure he is.

'Well I saw your car was still here, and there's a really great spread inside, food's just going to waste.'

'No. No, uh, I just don't feel up to it. I'll be fine though, I'm just-'

'You looked a little preoccupied today, now I think of it.'

'Yeah, I'm sorry I'm just not feeling great.'

'Okay man, if you're sure.' He isn't convinced at all but has the decency to pretend he is.

'Go get some rest, okay?'

'Yeah, yep. Will do.'

He claps Seth on the shoulder and closes his door with a snap. Grateful he didn't go for a handshake, Seth waits until he gets back inside before he lets his head drop forward onto the steering wheel.

'Jesus fucking Christ.'

A buzzing sound and he cracks his eyes open. His phone is lighting up at his feet with another text.

So did you like the video? Maybe if you answer your phone next time I call, we'll send another one.

With a sudden surge of irritation he snatches it up and stabs out a reply.

Why the fuck are you doing this.

Because its so much fun?

Leave me the fuck out of it

God you got boring

And there is no way that's Roman, it's like a slap in the face that he's talking to Dean instead after what he just heard-

Call me. On my cell

Seth swallows again.

Why

No reply and Seth is still sitting hunched over with his stomach in knots and heat in his face and god he wants a shower.

But he hates being ignored.

So it takes all of three minutes for him to dial Dean's number and try to brush over the fact he still knows it by heart, and before he can back out it's ringing.

'Yeloow.' Dean's voice sounds like he's been eating gravel and a muscle in Seth's neck twitches.

'You and your jackass trophy boyfriend better leave me alone.'

Dean laughs and it bites into him. 'What's the matter, feelin' nostalgic?'

'I'm not feeling anything, I don't fucking care, Dean, I don't wanna see a fuckin' hickey on your neck and know exactly how it got there, okay? I don't give a fuck what you two do in private.'

You two stings with a lingering sharpness.

'But you watched it? And you listened?'

'No.'

'Yeah you did. You're wound so tight right now, its hilarious.' Dean has a familiar lazy sounding tone about him. Seth remembers it like a physical warmth, until it burns.

'Okay. Okay yeah I watched it but-'

'Did you delete it?'

'Yes, of course-'

'Nah. You didn't.'

'For the love of god, Dean I don't care-'

'You thought about me, didn't you?'

'What-'

'Like, you remembered what it was like before you fucked everything up.'

It's like a shove in the chest.

'So that's what this is about.'

Dean laughs again. 'Isn't everything?'

'This isn't going to solve-'

'It turns me on to piss you off.'

Seth doesn't have anything to say to that so he stays quiet.

'It makes me fucking hard, okay, knowing you can see what he does to me. I wanna hurt you because it gets me off, so, so much.'

'Why-'

'He's so big, Seth. Fuck he's huge, but he goes down real easy, I mean you saw, right-'

'You're sick, Ambrose.'

'You missed me didn't you.'

'No.'

'You missed getting inside me, filling me up.'

'This is so-'

'Its okay. You're still mostly human, I mean you're not a total corporate robot yet, are you?'

'Why are you like this?'

'How longs it been since you got your dick wet?'

'Mind your own fucking business.'

'That long, huh.'

Seth groans in frustration, bangs his forehead against the wheel a few times.

'If you wanna watch Roman splittin' me open, you just say the word.'

He hangs up before Seth can draw breath to reply.