Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns these characters; I'm just taking their sorry asses to therapy.

Chapter 2

Mornings were always hard for me. The moment I opened my eyes I would be bombarded with negative thoughts. Nothing had changed. My depression was still lurking around every corner.

I was still the same person, much to my disappointment.

It was Tuesday, which meant today would be worse than usual, all thanks to that dreaded requirement, Biology. I would, in all honesty, rather die than go to that class. Maybe I'm just saying that because I'm a depressed, suicidal maniac, but I would. I just didn't have the guts to follow through. I was an English major for Christ sake. I did not need to know the parts of a cell.

I regretfully pulled myself from bed, stumbling over clothes on my way to the bathroom. Showering quickly, I neglected makeup and nice clothes for the comfort of old jeans and an oversized sweatshirt. I no longer cared. I was, in every definition of the words, a college student. As I was entering the kitchen to grab a granola bar and some juice, I noticed my dad at the kitchen table.

"Morning Charlie," I garbled, my voice still rough from lack of use.

"Morning Bells," he spoke into his coffee. These mornings were a constant in my life. Charlie would always be here until exactly 8:45, when he left for work, drinking his coffee and eating his bran flakes. On adventurous days he'd add some raisins or a banana. From the look of the bare cereal in his bowl, today was not one of those days.

"How'd the doctor thing go?"

"Good, and bad I guess." I decided I was going to leave it at that, but at the height his eyebrow was raised, I knew he wanted details. "He referred me to a psychologist," I paused, not wanting to say the next part. "But only after I insulted him, and belittled his profession." I heard, more than saw Charlie choke on his cereal. I didn't much feel like meeting his gaze.

"You what?" He ground out.

"Don't worry about it. I apologized. It was awkward, and I feel like shit."

"Well you should," he said matter of fact. I let out a sigh, hoping this was the end of the conversation. Charlie had always understood about my little situation. We both shared a common enemy, my mother, and that factor brought us both together. He was there for me as much as he could be, and I appreciated it.

"Where's Renee?" At the sound of the footsteps behind me, I realized I didn't have to ask.

"Do you have a problem with just calling me Mom?" She muttered.

"I prefer to call you by your given names. It makes you seem more like people," I bit back.

"Did you hear that Charlie?" She was answered with a coffee muffled "Hmm?" She gave him a pointed look before sliding her glance my way. She looked me over, and I tried not to cringe at the look on her face, it was disgust, plain and simple. I hated that fucking look.

"Bella what are you wearing?" She said it like my outfit offended her personally.

"Clothes, last time I checked."

She scoffed. "If you can call them that. Bella how do you expect Jake to-"

"Renee," Charlie warned.

Bless his heart, he tried, but the damage was done. I knew what she was going to say, seeing as I'd been asking myself the same thing almost every day. How could I expect Jake to ever take me back if kept this up? I was fat, plain, and I needed some new fucking clothes, but I hated shopping for them because it just made my depression worse. Funny how that worked; I needed clothes for confidence, but I lost confidence buying clothes. Fucking catch 22's; they could just kiss my fat ass.

"Well I'm off to school," I mumbled, nodding to Charlie while he gave me a pained expression. I couldn't tell if it was in apology of my mother's words, or because I'd be leaving him alone with her; poor guy. I tried to tell him with a look that I felt his misery.

Biology was worse than usual, and that's saying something. My professor decided today we'd fit lecture and a lab into one sitting, so if I didn't want to stab my eyes out with my pen while she droned on about who the fuck cares, I wanted to lay my head on a hot plate so the pain could drown out my partners words. I didn't have much against Mike, but he was dumb, plain and simple, and I didn't really like hearing him speak. I was having another hot plate fantasy when his words broke through my reverie.

"Bella? Did you hear me?" He asked. I shook my head roughly, bringing myself back to the present.

"I'm sorry Mike. What did you say?" I watched him blush, and wondered what I did wrong.

"I said," He paused to take a deep breath, "I was wondering if you wanted to go out some time, maybe to a movie or something. I know how you like movies."

He said that last part like it was a big secret, and I had to stop myself from saying 'who the fuck doesn't like movies?' in reply. That would have made me seem like a heartless bitch, and while that may be true, that didn't mean I wanted everyone to know that just yet. I tried to remain calm.

"Like a date?" I asked cautiously. I really hoped he said no.

"Yea, like a date," he answered shyly. He was picking at a loose strand on his shirt, and I decided I had to let him down easily.

"I'm sorry Mike," I started slowly, thinking of a good excuse. "I just got out of a bad relationship, and I'm not really looking to date anyone right now." I saw his hopeful expression fall, and i immediately called myself a few names in my head. It was partly true what I said, but in all honestly I just didn't see Mike that way. I'd always been a bit picky when it came to men, and I wasn't really sure why. In all actuality I didn't have the right to be. I was fat, plain, and extremely depressed, and I still had the audacity to turn down an invitation from a decent looking man who wasn't a total asshole. Seriously, who did I think I was?

I really, really didn't know.

Sleep wouldn't come easy that night. I had too much on my mind. Maybe it was the appointment I had scheduled tomorrow morning, or the strange events of the day. Either way, sleep eluded me. I heard a rustling noise outside my door, and knew someone was up. I sincerely hoped it was Charlie, knowing he wouldn't disturb me at this time of night, but at the sound of my doorknob turning, I knew that wasn't the case.

"Bella?" My mom poked her head in, and I saw her blurred form in the darkness.

"I'm trying to sleep," I bit out, annoyed that she never knocked. Twenty one years old and still I received no privacy.

"Well you shouldn't be, this rooms a pig sty. You need to clean it." I smiled under the covers. Knowing the mess bothered her was yet another reason not to clean it. I looked to my clock and rolled my eyes heavenward.

"Ma, its 2 o'clock in the morning. I think it can probably wait until the afternoon." I heard her heave a sigh from my doorway.

"I just don't understand you Bella. What's going on with you? First you let Jake get away and now you refuse to take care of yourself or your belongings?"

I tried to remain silent. The last think I wanted to do was have this conversation with my mother, especially not in the middle of the night.

"You're not going to say anything?" She asked. "Fine. Don't. But you'll hear what I have to say. Jake was such a great catch Bella. He was so very handsome, and you can't expect boys like that to come your way every day."

I felt my heart drop a little at her words, and behind the sadness, an angry demon reared its head.

"Boys like what?" I bit out, wanting her to elaborate, just so I could confirm she was as horrible as I thought.

"Oh you know," she huffed, starting to realize she may have said something wrong. "He was just so…" she didn't finish. I didn't need her to.

"Out of my league?" I asked. She sighed from the doorway. My mom always knew how to work the crowds. She'd say something nasty and then act as if she did nothing wrong.

"I'm just saying that if you lost a bit of weight, he might be persuaded to take you back. Boys are shallow honey. It's sad, but true."

"Goodnight mom," I muttered, trying hard to control my anger. She sighed, and I worried she had more to say, but she closed my door with a decisive click.

Leave it to my mother to jump to that conclusion. She thought Jake left me for my appearance, and while I felt that was partly true, he'd insisted that it was not. Damaged goods, he called me. He fixed enough things at work, he said, he didn't want to do it outside of work too. Fucking mechanics, and their stupid fucking metaphors.

Sleep eluded me once more.

I awoke to the sound of my parents fighting, and I started to wonder why I didn't just move into a dorm. Besides the fact that it was a few extra grand I didn't have to spend. If it wasn't for my scholarship I wouldn't be going to school anyways. And if it wasn't for this damn depression, my scholarship wouldn't be on the rocks. If my GPA dropped below a 3.5 I was done for, and I was treading perilously close to the edge. I needed to get this taken care of, and taken care of quick.

School went by fast, due to the fact that I was dreading the appointment that followed. I assumed that I usually would have found my World Civilization class interesting under any other circumstances. I'd always loved history, and yet these days I can't even bring myself to read a damn book, much less pay attention to a lecture about the French Revolution. The things I used to love were slowly but surely seeping down the drain.

As I drove to my appointment, I pondered my morning thus far. For some reason unbeknownst to me, I actually tried to look nice this morning, which is no easy feat when you haven't gone shopping in a year. Somehow I managed to find a passable blue V neck sweater and a pair of jeans that actually fit my form.

When I showed up to the building my heart began to race, and my movements slowed. I didn't know why I was so nervous, only that the last place I wanted to be was in that office, with the man from the phone, talking about how much my life sucked. I tugged at the hemline of my sweater, suddenly regretting the decision of wearing something I wasn't completely comfortable in. I probably looked like an idiot. I walked into the building and followed the signs.

When I opened the office door, I was surprised by the sight of the woman before me. Even sitting behind the desk I could see that she was tall; tall, blonde, and beautiful. I hated her already. Her eyes met mine as I walked towards her desk, and she offered me a look of elegant disdain.

"Yes?" She inquired, as if I didn't belong here.

"My name's Isabella Swan, I'm here for my 11:00 appointment with Dr. Cullen." She arched her perfectly shaped brow and nodded to the chairs, indicating me to sit down.

"I'll let him know you've arrived."

Honestly, from anyone else, those words would have been harmless, but from her, they practically reeked of irritation and disdain. I watched as she picked up the receiver to tell him the news. Her demeanor changed abruptly, turning from fiery hellcat to innocent flirt in a matter of seconds. It was actually quite impressive. As she giggled into the receiver I found myself saying a silent prayer for strength.

"You can go in," she bit out. I smiled slightly and welcomed the return of the hellcat; its presence was much more comforting, and much less nauseating. I began to wonder if maybe they were sleeping together. As I reached the door to the inner office, I took a deep breath, settling my nerves. I told myself to stop being such a little girl about it, and without hesitation, swung open the door.

I was met with the greenest eyes I've ever seen.

Well I hope you're enjoying it thus far. I've been having some complications with my computer as of late, and by that I mean I want to take it into the middle of a field and go office space on it with my Louisville Slugger. Seriously.

I'll try to have chapter 3 out to you guys as soon as possible. Unfortunately for me, my computer decided it didn't want to save the 1,500 words I had already written. So I had to start from scratch. I would love some reviews to get through the annoyance of having to write the same thing all over again!

Despite the hiccup, I should have the next chapter to you by Friday at the latest. Leave me some love!