Before I go any further. I would like to add the disclaimers regarding the fact that I do not own Thunderbirds - any names or characters. Gerry Anderson did this years ago. Thanks to Carleton who have the copyright. We all only do this for the fun!!!!
Chapter 1 - Rumblings
Josephine Tracy or "Josie" as she was known, Grandmother to the 5 Tracy sons, placed a large platter of tropical fruit in the centre of the large oak dining table, which was the centrepiece of the magnificent Dining Room in the Tracy residence.
She nodded with satisfaction at the starched white tablecloths, candelabra and fine silverware that adorned the table. The fruit was colourful and brightened the table.
Brushing the red velvet seats she then proceeded to straighten the chairs before commenting to Kyrano,
"I believe I think it will do"
At the servery Kyrano busily lit food warmers, placed wine in silver ice buckets and counted the plates.
"Indeed Mrs Tracy - you have a way of adding your own special touch to these things"
Josie smiled with pleasure. "Mighty nice of you to say that Kyrano"
Her smile faded and before she spoke she looked around her carefully.
"I just hope that we can change things this year"
Kyrano nodded with understanding.
"I understand what you imply Mrs Tracy. I know well how Mr Tracy feels in these matters of his heart".
Kyrano sighed inwardly himself. Whilst he tried not to think about his own situation with Tin-Tin's Mother abandoning her as a baby, leaving him to cope, it was difficult not to feel something at this time of year when his benefactor struggled so unsuccessfully with his own emotions.
He and Jeff Tracy had been friends for a long time, the friendship stemming back to Jeff's Air Force days. They talked about a great many things, often in the small hours of the morning over cups of strong coffee when Jeff's sons were out on difficult rescues. Many times he had sought his friends reassurance that sending his sons into the face of danger was the right thing for a caring parent to be doing.
Jeff Tracy had never, however, discussed Lucy, his wife.
Kyrano had never made her acquaintance, not coming to live with the Tracy family until Tin-Tin was nine years old, but each day as he tidied Jeff's room and replaced items in his private bar, he would look at the photograph Jeff kept of her on his sideboard. It had been taken not long before she had died. Kyrano never ceased to be sad when he looked at the photograph of the beautiful chestnut-haired girl with the sparkling brown eyes and beautiful smile, unnecessarily taken in the prime of her life, leaving behind five little boys to be cared for by their Father.
Putting his melancholy thoughts behind him he looked at Jeff's mother.
"Shall I summon them all to Dinner?" he asked
Josie, however, was in a world of her own, looking out towards the beach where only 30 minutes ago she had watched her youngest grandson and Kyrano's only daughter together. She had a good feeling about those two, just as she had had a good feeling all those years ago when Jeff had introduced her to Lucy, a vivacious beautiful English girl who had quite literally, swept him off his feet.
When Jeff had originally told her about Lucy she and her late husband Grant had been sceptical about the whole thing. After all, in their day courting took time!! What sort of girl was she if she was prepared to leave her parents and travel halfway across the world to move in with a man she had only met a few times - even if it was their precious son Jeff! It wasn't as if Jeff was a silly teenager either, he was in his middle twenties and certainly no fool. Josie had experienced great difficulty in understanding how her levelheaded practical son could be so smitten by a girl - and so quickly. But at that point, Josie hadn't met Lucy.
Lucy had been so good for Jeff. Despite his fame as an Astronaut he was a very caring, sensitive man, who was cautious in the public eye and did not get let himself get too close to any one. He had needed an outgoing young woman and Josie always felt that her son had developed to his full potential as a man and a father with Lucy in his life.
Her youngest grandson was very like his mother in many ways from his headstrong manner to his mischievous sense of humour. Alan definitely needed a gentle, kind, and sensitive girl like Tin-Tin to keep him in check. Yes, she nodded, inwardly pleased. Things were going along very well there.
"Mrs Tracy?"
She was jolted back to the situation around her by Kyrano's inquisitive look.
"What? Oh… yes.. yes Kyrano. I think that they are all outside having a drink"
Out on the balcony of the lounge overlooking the beach, Gordon and Jeff Tracy sat on deck chairs chatting away about the performance of the firefly during the rescue. Scott and Brains leaned against the railing, arms folded, taking in the conversation. Virgil tinkered softly away on the piano, his dreamy brown eyes off in a cloud somewhere, so caught up was he with the tune he was playing.
They all looked towards Kyrano as he bowed slightly and said,
"I would like to invite you to take your place for dinner Sirs"
Jeff nodded at Kyrano and rose to his feet.
"Thanks Kyrano. Best not keep you both waiting. I understand you and Mother have busied yourselves today cooking up a storm"
Kyrano nodded acknowledging the statement.
"Indeed Mr Tracy. This is true"
Jeff placed his arm around Gordon's shoulders as they walked through to the dining room, continuing the conversation about the firefly.
Kyrano looked around him and then turned to address Scott and Virgil who were still standing on the balcony..
"Err….Mr Alan? He is not out here?"
Scott glanced in his Father's direction before looking at Kyrano and saying quickly.
"Uhh………… no but I'll go and find him"
He had wanted to speak with his youngest brother before Dinner tonight, mainly to give him some "brotherly guidance" - before the inevitable rumblings began.
"Find who?" came the distinctive voice of Alan as he walked down the hallway pulling on a new international rescue shirt after the loss of his other shirt earlier in the day. He and Scott were leaving in Thunderbird 3 straight after Dinner to collect John so he had taken the opportunity to change earlier.
Scott gave him that "you're my little brother and I need to talk to you now look" that he had given him so often as he grew up. Alan stopped in front of his eldest brother, turning down his collar and running his hand through his still damp hair.
"What Scott?"
Scott didn't quite know how to say what he needed to say to Alan but he knew he sure as hell had to say it and now so that there was no room for misunderstanding.
"Hey Alan…" he began carefully knowing what sort of reaction he would no doubt get, "…..don't say anything you'll regret in there tonight. You know ……after last year"
Alan's face veered red. He eyed his brother disdainfully before swinging around on his heel and continuing to walk towards the dining room.
"I won't if he doesn't Scott" he muttered just audibly for Scott to hear him.
Jeff Tracy looked up as Alan entered the room and nodded approvingly on seeing his son dressed ready to fly out.
"Have you let John know what time you intend to be up in Thunderbird 5 Alan?"
Alan nodded "Yes Dad … John knows. He's working on the autopilot now. Scott and I will shove off straight after Dinner."
Alan paused for a moment before asking, "…Dad, since it's my birthday tomorrow and I'll be a year older, you wouldn't consider me going alone?"
Scott shook his head behind him. Stupid kid, he couldn't help himself. The most vulnerable time of the year for his Father and Alan wanted to argue about flying Thunderbird 3 on his own.
Jeff waited until Alan sat down at the table before he said wearily
"Son - you know my position on that. You need a co-pilot"
"You mean a baby-sitter: Alan retorted. "It's not as if I can't pilot her Dad. I mean what more do I have to do to prove it you?"
"Alan I'm not going to discuss this. " Jeff snapped, " Let's just forget about it for now"
Alan looked at his Father and from the glare he received in return, decided that
he would let the matter drop.
After a few uncomfortable minutes of silence Jeff and Gordon returned to their discussion about the rescue. Brains leaned forward adding his comments.
Virgil in the meantime watched Alan sulking down the other end of the table and decided to have a bit more fun at his youngest brother's expense. He winked at Scott and said,
"Hey Scott. I never told you the full story about having to teach my little brother the facts of life today."
Gordon burst out laughing. The three brothers had been laughing all afternoon about Alan's reaction to assisting with the births in Thunderbird 2. Still all eligible bachelors, all the Tracy brothers had limited experience in the birth process but it seemed their youngest brother was the least informed of them all. Alan, being Alan had not let them down again!!!
"You know Alan I thought you would have learnt by now that that there was another side to that business besides just holding hands " he joked making direct reference to his afternoon soirees with Tin-Tin.
Virgil chimed in doing a mock impression of Alan begging to allow him to take over the controls rather than go anywhere near the birthing women.
Alan reddened and rolled his eyes as he helped himself to the salad.
"Come on you guys, do me a favour and let it go OK." he said good naturedly.
"You should have heard him" Virgil grinned continuing the aggravation, " He complained about everything. Taking off his shirt, how slippery the babies were.. and then the cord cutting. You were so lame Alan."
Alan snapped, tired of the joke.
"If you ask me the whole process is disgusting. The worst bit was those Mothers carrying on let me tell you. Anyone would think they were dying or something"
Scott, Virgil and their Grandmother all dropped their heads and held their breath.
Alan had done it again. Scott was sure that his little brother had a death wish when it came to dealing with his Father. He simply didn't think. Scott was starting wonder why he ever worried about the kid, but as always, the protector of his brothers, he interjected.
"Err…hmm you guys" he said quickly "Alan's right. It all turned out well so let's do the kid a favour and drop the subject OK."
Virgil and Josie breathed a sigh of relief as the meal continued but not before Jeff Tracy had shot Alan a dangerous glance which did not go unnoticed by his youngest son..
After a while Gordon put down his cutlery and took a large sip of the scotch in front of him. " Seriously though Dad - some of those babies I saw being ferried out were just so small. They'd fit in the palm of your hand they would. I could never understand why they are born early. It must have something to do with what their mothers get up to during the pregnancy or something"
Scott began to hear alarm bells as he watched his Father's face redden. Gordon had been a premature baby, saved by the sort of equipment they'd saved from the fire today. Their Mother had gone into early labour as the result of an unfortunate accident outside her control. Jeff had not been able to be present Gordons's emergency birth owing to his business commitments. It had caused both he and Lucy a good deal of anxiety at the time and he hadn't forgiven himself for that. He also didn't seem to be taking too kindly to the notion that Lucy would have done anything wrong.
As for what had happened when Alan had been born …..
Jeff Tracy looked at both Gordon and Alan and said in a low voice that made them all nervous.
"The two of you should leave your comments to matters that you know and understand"
Gordon looked at Alan confused. Their Grandmother looked at them both. She could see Alan preparing to speak and interrupted anxiously.
"Alan sweetie … hurry with your Dinner now. You have long journey tonight." she said
"You too darling" she added turning to Scott.
Alan stood up folding his napkin and placing it on the table.
"Grandma's right. I'm ready to go - How about you …..babysitter?" he said making reference to Scott, but the whole time his eyes did not leave his Father.
Scott cursed under his breath at Alan's stupidity and pushed back his chair, pausing to take a slice of melon from the centre of the table.
"Yeah - we'll go now. Come on kiddo"
"Don't call me that Scott" Alan flashed as together the two brothers left the room much to the relief of Josephine Tracy.
The meal went on uncomfortably and when it was over everyone made their excuses leaving Jeff and his Mother alone at the table.
Jeff sat quietly sipping his coffee pausing every now and then to look at his Mother and marvel at how wonderful she was.
She had been there for him his whole life - as a child growing up on the farm in Kansas - when he had entered the air force, sending him care packages when he was stationed in Malaysia - when he went into space - when he set up his business …… when Lucille died………and now with International rescue.
He wondered what she would have been doing right now if all those years ago he hadn't needed her so desperately to help him with raising his boys without their mother.
After Lucy had died he been left to cope with trying to run a multi million -dollar aerospace business he had built from the ground up and adjust to the fact that the most precious thing in his whole world had been taken away from him without warning and without any sense able to be made of it all.
Coupled with that was having to deal with a screaming newborn baby who must have sensed the family upheaval and was awake crying to be fed every 2 hours day and night, a toddler not 13 months older who cried non-stop, an inconsolable 3 year old who sobbed for his mommy , a little five year old , the spitting image of his mother sitting silently in front of her piano refusing to eat, and his eldest son - whose childhood had been taken away one month prior to his 9th birthday when his mother had taken her last breath.
Jeff remembered those terrible months when he was trapped in the nightmare that became his life -doing what had to be done - the night feeds, walking the floor with Alan trying to getting him to stop crying - nursing Gordon on his lap until the dawn broke and he fell asleep exhausted, the little toddler upright against his chest as he slept in the chair in the babies nursery- the washing, the cleaning, the meals, the school attendance for the older boys.
Then there had been the resultant cancelling of important business meetings, which cost his company dearly and the final straw - the breakdown of his own health resulting in a near loss of everything he had worked for. There had been no opportunity to be even a Father to John, Virgil and Scott let alone a mother when he hadn't been able to stop long enough to grieve for Lucy himself. If it wouldn't have been for his Mother Lord knows where they would have ended up or be right now.
As he sat there at the table, Jeff felt the crushing pain he had felt then, coming back to him now. He started to feel that his world was crashing in on him again as he remembered it all again so vividly. Swallowing hard he put those thoughts from his mind as he had done for 20 years but in the back of his mind he kept asking - surely there is someone to blame for all of this.
Josie put her hand on his, knowing, as Mothers do when matters are troubling their children.
"Jeff …son …" she began
He shook his head, "No Mother, This year I know I am going to have to deal with this. I just wish I knew how. "
She sighed.
Jeff might be going to deal with it but in doing so could his youngest son deal with him dealing with it!!
Just what was going to happen in this house tomorrow!!!
Chapter 1 - Rumblings
Josephine Tracy or "Josie" as she was known, Grandmother to the 5 Tracy sons, placed a large platter of tropical fruit in the centre of the large oak dining table, which was the centrepiece of the magnificent Dining Room in the Tracy residence.
She nodded with satisfaction at the starched white tablecloths, candelabra and fine silverware that adorned the table. The fruit was colourful and brightened the table.
Brushing the red velvet seats she then proceeded to straighten the chairs before commenting to Kyrano,
"I believe I think it will do"
At the servery Kyrano busily lit food warmers, placed wine in silver ice buckets and counted the plates.
"Indeed Mrs Tracy - you have a way of adding your own special touch to these things"
Josie smiled with pleasure. "Mighty nice of you to say that Kyrano"
Her smile faded and before she spoke she looked around her carefully.
"I just hope that we can change things this year"
Kyrano nodded with understanding.
"I understand what you imply Mrs Tracy. I know well how Mr Tracy feels in these matters of his heart".
Kyrano sighed inwardly himself. Whilst he tried not to think about his own situation with Tin-Tin's Mother abandoning her as a baby, leaving him to cope, it was difficult not to feel something at this time of year when his benefactor struggled so unsuccessfully with his own emotions.
He and Jeff Tracy had been friends for a long time, the friendship stemming back to Jeff's Air Force days. They talked about a great many things, often in the small hours of the morning over cups of strong coffee when Jeff's sons were out on difficult rescues. Many times he had sought his friends reassurance that sending his sons into the face of danger was the right thing for a caring parent to be doing.
Jeff Tracy had never, however, discussed Lucy, his wife.
Kyrano had never made her acquaintance, not coming to live with the Tracy family until Tin-Tin was nine years old, but each day as he tidied Jeff's room and replaced items in his private bar, he would look at the photograph Jeff kept of her on his sideboard. It had been taken not long before she had died. Kyrano never ceased to be sad when he looked at the photograph of the beautiful chestnut-haired girl with the sparkling brown eyes and beautiful smile, unnecessarily taken in the prime of her life, leaving behind five little boys to be cared for by their Father.
Putting his melancholy thoughts behind him he looked at Jeff's mother.
"Shall I summon them all to Dinner?" he asked
Josie, however, was in a world of her own, looking out towards the beach where only 30 minutes ago she had watched her youngest grandson and Kyrano's only daughter together. She had a good feeling about those two, just as she had had a good feeling all those years ago when Jeff had introduced her to Lucy, a vivacious beautiful English girl who had quite literally, swept him off his feet.
When Jeff had originally told her about Lucy she and her late husband Grant had been sceptical about the whole thing. After all, in their day courting took time!! What sort of girl was she if she was prepared to leave her parents and travel halfway across the world to move in with a man she had only met a few times - even if it was their precious son Jeff! It wasn't as if Jeff was a silly teenager either, he was in his middle twenties and certainly no fool. Josie had experienced great difficulty in understanding how her levelheaded practical son could be so smitten by a girl - and so quickly. But at that point, Josie hadn't met Lucy.
Lucy had been so good for Jeff. Despite his fame as an Astronaut he was a very caring, sensitive man, who was cautious in the public eye and did not get let himself get too close to any one. He had needed an outgoing young woman and Josie always felt that her son had developed to his full potential as a man and a father with Lucy in his life.
Her youngest grandson was very like his mother in many ways from his headstrong manner to his mischievous sense of humour. Alan definitely needed a gentle, kind, and sensitive girl like Tin-Tin to keep him in check. Yes, she nodded, inwardly pleased. Things were going along very well there.
"Mrs Tracy?"
She was jolted back to the situation around her by Kyrano's inquisitive look.
"What? Oh… yes.. yes Kyrano. I think that they are all outside having a drink"
Out on the balcony of the lounge overlooking the beach, Gordon and Jeff Tracy sat on deck chairs chatting away about the performance of the firefly during the rescue. Scott and Brains leaned against the railing, arms folded, taking in the conversation. Virgil tinkered softly away on the piano, his dreamy brown eyes off in a cloud somewhere, so caught up was he with the tune he was playing.
They all looked towards Kyrano as he bowed slightly and said,
"I would like to invite you to take your place for dinner Sirs"
Jeff nodded at Kyrano and rose to his feet.
"Thanks Kyrano. Best not keep you both waiting. I understand you and Mother have busied yourselves today cooking up a storm"
Kyrano nodded acknowledging the statement.
"Indeed Mr Tracy. This is true"
Jeff placed his arm around Gordon's shoulders as they walked through to the dining room, continuing the conversation about the firefly.
Kyrano looked around him and then turned to address Scott and Virgil who were still standing on the balcony..
"Err….Mr Alan? He is not out here?"
Scott glanced in his Father's direction before looking at Kyrano and saying quickly.
"Uhh………… no but I'll go and find him"
He had wanted to speak with his youngest brother before Dinner tonight, mainly to give him some "brotherly guidance" - before the inevitable rumblings began.
"Find who?" came the distinctive voice of Alan as he walked down the hallway pulling on a new international rescue shirt after the loss of his other shirt earlier in the day. He and Scott were leaving in Thunderbird 3 straight after Dinner to collect John so he had taken the opportunity to change earlier.
Scott gave him that "you're my little brother and I need to talk to you now look" that he had given him so often as he grew up. Alan stopped in front of his eldest brother, turning down his collar and running his hand through his still damp hair.
"What Scott?"
Scott didn't quite know how to say what he needed to say to Alan but he knew he sure as hell had to say it and now so that there was no room for misunderstanding.
"Hey Alan…" he began carefully knowing what sort of reaction he would no doubt get, "…..don't say anything you'll regret in there tonight. You know ……after last year"
Alan's face veered red. He eyed his brother disdainfully before swinging around on his heel and continuing to walk towards the dining room.
"I won't if he doesn't Scott" he muttered just audibly for Scott to hear him.
Jeff Tracy looked up as Alan entered the room and nodded approvingly on seeing his son dressed ready to fly out.
"Have you let John know what time you intend to be up in Thunderbird 5 Alan?"
Alan nodded "Yes Dad … John knows. He's working on the autopilot now. Scott and I will shove off straight after Dinner."
Alan paused for a moment before asking, "…Dad, since it's my birthday tomorrow and I'll be a year older, you wouldn't consider me going alone?"
Scott shook his head behind him. Stupid kid, he couldn't help himself. The most vulnerable time of the year for his Father and Alan wanted to argue about flying Thunderbird 3 on his own.
Jeff waited until Alan sat down at the table before he said wearily
"Son - you know my position on that. You need a co-pilot"
"You mean a baby-sitter: Alan retorted. "It's not as if I can't pilot her Dad. I mean what more do I have to do to prove it you?"
"Alan I'm not going to discuss this. " Jeff snapped, " Let's just forget about it for now"
Alan looked at his Father and from the glare he received in return, decided that
he would let the matter drop.
After a few uncomfortable minutes of silence Jeff and Gordon returned to their discussion about the rescue. Brains leaned forward adding his comments.
Virgil in the meantime watched Alan sulking down the other end of the table and decided to have a bit more fun at his youngest brother's expense. He winked at Scott and said,
"Hey Scott. I never told you the full story about having to teach my little brother the facts of life today."
Gordon burst out laughing. The three brothers had been laughing all afternoon about Alan's reaction to assisting with the births in Thunderbird 2. Still all eligible bachelors, all the Tracy brothers had limited experience in the birth process but it seemed their youngest brother was the least informed of them all. Alan, being Alan had not let them down again!!!
"You know Alan I thought you would have learnt by now that that there was another side to that business besides just holding hands " he joked making direct reference to his afternoon soirees with Tin-Tin.
Virgil chimed in doing a mock impression of Alan begging to allow him to take over the controls rather than go anywhere near the birthing women.
Alan reddened and rolled his eyes as he helped himself to the salad.
"Come on you guys, do me a favour and let it go OK." he said good naturedly.
"You should have heard him" Virgil grinned continuing the aggravation, " He complained about everything. Taking off his shirt, how slippery the babies were.. and then the cord cutting. You were so lame Alan."
Alan snapped, tired of the joke.
"If you ask me the whole process is disgusting. The worst bit was those Mothers carrying on let me tell you. Anyone would think they were dying or something"
Scott, Virgil and their Grandmother all dropped their heads and held their breath.
Alan had done it again. Scott was sure that his little brother had a death wish when it came to dealing with his Father. He simply didn't think. Scott was starting wonder why he ever worried about the kid, but as always, the protector of his brothers, he interjected.
"Err…hmm you guys" he said quickly "Alan's right. It all turned out well so let's do the kid a favour and drop the subject OK."
Virgil and Josie breathed a sigh of relief as the meal continued but not before Jeff Tracy had shot Alan a dangerous glance which did not go unnoticed by his youngest son..
After a while Gordon put down his cutlery and took a large sip of the scotch in front of him. " Seriously though Dad - some of those babies I saw being ferried out were just so small. They'd fit in the palm of your hand they would. I could never understand why they are born early. It must have something to do with what their mothers get up to during the pregnancy or something"
Scott began to hear alarm bells as he watched his Father's face redden. Gordon had been a premature baby, saved by the sort of equipment they'd saved from the fire today. Their Mother had gone into early labour as the result of an unfortunate accident outside her control. Jeff had not been able to be present Gordons's emergency birth owing to his business commitments. It had caused both he and Lucy a good deal of anxiety at the time and he hadn't forgiven himself for that. He also didn't seem to be taking too kindly to the notion that Lucy would have done anything wrong.
As for what had happened when Alan had been born …..
Jeff Tracy looked at both Gordon and Alan and said in a low voice that made them all nervous.
"The two of you should leave your comments to matters that you know and understand"
Gordon looked at Alan confused. Their Grandmother looked at them both. She could see Alan preparing to speak and interrupted anxiously.
"Alan sweetie … hurry with your Dinner now. You have long journey tonight." she said
"You too darling" she added turning to Scott.
Alan stood up folding his napkin and placing it on the table.
"Grandma's right. I'm ready to go - How about you …..babysitter?" he said making reference to Scott, but the whole time his eyes did not leave his Father.
Scott cursed under his breath at Alan's stupidity and pushed back his chair, pausing to take a slice of melon from the centre of the table.
"Yeah - we'll go now. Come on kiddo"
"Don't call me that Scott" Alan flashed as together the two brothers left the room much to the relief of Josephine Tracy.
The meal went on uncomfortably and when it was over everyone made their excuses leaving Jeff and his Mother alone at the table.
Jeff sat quietly sipping his coffee pausing every now and then to look at his Mother and marvel at how wonderful she was.
She had been there for him his whole life - as a child growing up on the farm in Kansas - when he had entered the air force, sending him care packages when he was stationed in Malaysia - when he went into space - when he set up his business …… when Lucille died………and now with International rescue.
He wondered what she would have been doing right now if all those years ago he hadn't needed her so desperately to help him with raising his boys without their mother.
After Lucy had died he been left to cope with trying to run a multi million -dollar aerospace business he had built from the ground up and adjust to the fact that the most precious thing in his whole world had been taken away from him without warning and without any sense able to be made of it all.
Coupled with that was having to deal with a screaming newborn baby who must have sensed the family upheaval and was awake crying to be fed every 2 hours day and night, a toddler not 13 months older who cried non-stop, an inconsolable 3 year old who sobbed for his mommy , a little five year old , the spitting image of his mother sitting silently in front of her piano refusing to eat, and his eldest son - whose childhood had been taken away one month prior to his 9th birthday when his mother had taken her last breath.
Jeff remembered those terrible months when he was trapped in the nightmare that became his life -doing what had to be done - the night feeds, walking the floor with Alan trying to getting him to stop crying - nursing Gordon on his lap until the dawn broke and he fell asleep exhausted, the little toddler upright against his chest as he slept in the chair in the babies nursery- the washing, the cleaning, the meals, the school attendance for the older boys.
Then there had been the resultant cancelling of important business meetings, which cost his company dearly and the final straw - the breakdown of his own health resulting in a near loss of everything he had worked for. There had been no opportunity to be even a Father to John, Virgil and Scott let alone a mother when he hadn't been able to stop long enough to grieve for Lucy himself. If it wouldn't have been for his Mother Lord knows where they would have ended up or be right now.
As he sat there at the table, Jeff felt the crushing pain he had felt then, coming back to him now. He started to feel that his world was crashing in on him again as he remembered it all again so vividly. Swallowing hard he put those thoughts from his mind as he had done for 20 years but in the back of his mind he kept asking - surely there is someone to blame for all of this.
Josie put her hand on his, knowing, as Mothers do when matters are troubling their children.
"Jeff …son …" she began
He shook his head, "No Mother, This year I know I am going to have to deal with this. I just wish I knew how. "
She sighed.
Jeff might be going to deal with it but in doing so could his youngest son deal with him dealing with it!!
Just what was going to happen in this house tomorrow!!!