The Tardis door flew open and three bodies poured inside. There was a chorus of squeals and grunts as heavy male bodies – "It's aaall muscle, in case you were wondering." – fell on top of the smaller, softer form of a young female – "Jack, get the HELL off me."

At the very bottom of the pile there was a muffled squeak that sounded like, "Your elbow...it's...it's pressing on my jugular. Can't breathe."

Eventually, the trio rolled apart and stood, dusting themselves and each other off and laughing.

"Well," said Jack, getting a little over-enthusiastic with the dusting of Alonzo's lower lower back, earning a slap on the wrist from Holly and a blush and a nervous giggle from Alonzo himself, "I think that's one planet we won't ever be welcome to again. We went from gods to fugitives in the space of an hour."

Holly chuckled, "The citizens of Asvnfht have never been so afraid." Surprisingly, she manipulated her tongue well around the collection of ill-placed consonants. "How do you feel, Jack? You terrorized a whole planet."

Jack puffed up his chest and strutted to the console, resting his hands possessively on the controls. Alonzo trailed behind him and took up position on the stool. Holly wandered to the console opposite the military men. She watched Jack survey the controls as he had the planet of Asvnfht.

"Empowered. God-like. Omnipotent."

"And how did you feel when we realised the inhabitants of said planet were all in fact smaller than your thumbnail?"

"Hey, when they started firing their little laser pea-shooters you soon knew about it. Those things pack quite a wallop."

Holly – who had embarked upon a series of pirouettes, featuring the occasional leap and pointed toe – laughed, and mimicked Jack's words in the most posh English accent she could muster.

"...pack quite a wallop...!"

"Hey!" Jack replied in a mock-offended tone.

She giggled, then stretched her arms as high and as far back as her shoulders would allow. Alonso cleared his throat discreetly and averted his gaze.

Jack appeared not to have noticed Holly's strangely double-jointed stretch, and seemed to have forgiven her for her playful mocking of him because he suddenly turned to her; enthusiasm lighting up his eyes as though somebody had switched a lonely light-bulb on inside his hollow skull.

"Wait...that's a good idea," Both Holly and Alonso disregarded how little sense the comment made alone, devoid as it was of the rest of the conversation which remained trapped in Jack's head, and instead waited patiently for the explanation, "Maybe we could visit Old English history next."

Holly shook her head and promptly disappeared from view as she hurtled backwards into an upside-down bridge, with her hands planted firmly on the floor and her back arching incredibly. Naturally, her top lifted slightly and exposed some skin quite high up her torso. Alonso coughed and immediately raised his flushing face to the ceiling as though it had suddenly become intensely interesting. Jack leaned around the console for a better view of Holly's head and raised an eyebrow but for once he didn't make a lewd remark, seemingly more impressed by her flexibility than the flesh that had been unexpectedly put on show.

Oblivious to the responses of her companions, Holly continued with the conversation from her current position. "Been there, done that. The English monarchy is every bit as stuffy as you would expect them to be." Hand over hand she attempted a four-legged shuffling amble, but gave up and lowered herself to the ground.

Moments later she was standing before Jack and Alonso, rearranging her top and then smoothing back stray wisps of hair.

She looked up to find herself faced with two equally curious expressions.

"What?" she demanded.

Jack shook his head, most likely to dispel his confusion, and made another suggestion, continuing as though nothing had happened. "Okay, seventeenth century France?"

"Not far off British monarchy. Told you: stuffy."

"Errrmm...Faroon Optaine, fall of the Claptiine Empire?"

"Isn't that considered to be one of the most dangerous areas of all time and space? Last I heard they were installing a time-lock around it..."

"Right, I've got it. The Big Bang? Ringside tickets to the moment it all began?"

"So overrated."

"What? You're kidding!" Exasperated, Jack began clutching at straws. "Uh, okay: Niddeh, the year they held Gnidnepics? We can get popcorn while we watch a representative from every single alien race to stuff the most Gnids up their–"

"Arssolius Rackenburyur broke the universal record with an astounding seven hundred and sixty nine Gnids stuffed, but amazingly he only remained unbeaten for four years." Holly glanced up from under her eyebrows, barely hiding a smirk, "I got the t-shirt."

"Damn it! The Arch of Solian Temper? We could crack the age old mystery?"

"Knows all abouts it, I doos," Holly chimed, musically, "Something to do with wine made from the beastie's tears of frustration?"

Jack looked like he was about to produce some tears of frustration of his own in a minute as he gathered his hair in his fists. "Ah-ha! Thalusio? They say it looks just like Tokyo. Home to Fraiser the Flobbled, defender of Scrivvens everywhere, roaming the land in his tight little shorts?"

Holly shuddered, and brushed some dust out from between the controls of the console with her finger, "God no, I've heard the stories."

"THEN WHERE?"

A small noise alerted the two of them to Alonso's presence.

"How about Jupiter? I hear it's always quite a riot about this time of day."

There was a pause while Jack and Holly glanced at each other.

Then, simultaneously, "Alright."