May he turned 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,
"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.

- 2am by Anna Nalick

This morning brought more tears from Alice. I took her to the family planning clinic and promised to stay with her afterwards. Even though she was most definitely not cut out to be a mother at this juncture of her life, the decision was taking a toll on her. When I stopped by her apartment to get her first thing, I could tell she hadn't slept all night, and had spent most of it crying. Her eyes were puffy, her nose red and raw looking, and her normal bubbly personality was absent. She was dressed in sweats and a t-shirt – neither items I would have imagined her even owning – and her hair was greasy and slicked back on her head. My attempt to get her to shower was met with another round of tears, so I just guided her out to my car.

The family planning clinic was a nondescript little brick building in the middle of downtown Port Angeles. Once inside, I found a spot for Alice to sit and went to get the paperwork for her. She was looking like a beaten puppy when I returned.

"Bella, everybody is looking at me." She all but whined as I put my arm around her shoulders and tried to comfort her.

"Sweetie, they're only looking at you because we just walked in. Don't think about it, ok? We need to get this paperwork filled out. Do you have your insurance card with you?"

I helped her get the papers completed and handed back in and I was given instructions to 'just wait like everybody else' until they called her name. We sat in silence for what seemed like hours, watching the other girls watch us. There were four other younger girls in the waiting room with us, each with an older, maternal figure with them. The girls all looked at us with sympathy, but the mothers' eyes held judgment. The longer I sat there, the more furious I got. After all, this was an abortion clinic…they weren't exactly here to get an annual physical. By the time Alice's name was called, I was on the verge of vocalizing my irritation.

The procedure itself was quick, but Alice seemed to shrink more into herself when we left. I knew she was sad. I can't say that I would have gone with her decision had it been me, but I wasn't in that situation. And, I also felt she should've let Jasper know, but again, it wasn't my life, so I kept my mouth shut and offered her quiet comfort as much as I could.

We arrived back at our apartment building a little after noon. It was grey and drizzling; perfectly suited to the mood of the day.

"Bella, I don't want to go to my apartment. Do you care if we stay at yours instead? I need a change of scenery, I think." It was the first she had spoken since the nurse called her back to the exam room.

"Sure thing. I'll make us some lunch and you can veg on the couch."

I made us a simple lunch of grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup, and we watched TV for the rest of the evening. When Alice fell asleep on the couch, I just let her lay, covered her with my favorite afghan, and went to bed.

The next morning, I woke to find my couch empty, the afghan folded and a note. 'I'm going to my moms. I'll be back in a week or so. Love, Alice.' I wasn't really surprised, but it saddened me that she had left without saying goodbye.

Alice had been gone for two days when I got a call from Jasper. He had become a pretty regular fixture at her place, and I was rather shocked it had taken him that long to call me.

"Bella? Have you seen Alice? I been tryin' to call her, but she ain't answerin'." His words were slower than usual, making his Southern drawl more pronounced.

"She went home for a few days, Jazz. Knowing Alice she forgot to take her phone charger with her, so her phone is probably dead and she's none the wiser. Do you need anything?" God, I sounded desperate to myself. I couldn't help it. The boy just got under my skin. Even knowing Alice's secret, if he had asked me to confess, I'm not sure I could've stopped myself.

"Not really, darlin'. I just didn't feel like hangin' out all by myself again t'night and hoped she could come over."

"Actually, I was about to have some dinner. Want to come over and eat with me? I made enchiladas…your favorite."

"Ah, Bells. You know the way to a man's heart. I'll be over in a few."

As soon as I hung up the phone, I jumped in the shower, and then stood in front of my closet looking for something suitable to wear. This wasn't a date, so dressing up was out. But I didn't want to just wear baggy jeans and a band tee, either. Finally, I opted for black slacks and a green sweater. The same green as Jasper's eyes, actually.

I had just taken the enchiladas out of the oven when a knock sounded on the front door. Jasper was leaning against my door facing looking just like something out of a western movie when I answered. He was dressed in dark jeans, complete with crease, plaid flannel shirt, his boots and a black cowboy hat. I'm sure the drool in my mouth would have made it impossible to speak, so I just moved back out of the way so he could enter.

"I broughtcha somethin' to drink with them enchiladas, Sweets." He handed me a brown paper bag and tipped his hat at me in greeting.

"Make yourself at home, Jazz. I'll get us some food." I gestured toward the living room and turned to go back in the kitchen. The bag contained a six pack of Michelob Ultra, which I stuck in the fridge to cool. I then plated us both some enchiladas and grabbed some forks, heading to the living room with our food. What I saw when I reached the doorway tugged at my heart strings. Jasper was leaning back on my couch, head against the wall with his eyes closed. In his right hand was a half-empty fifth of Jim Beam. I had wondered if he'd been drinking when his accent had been so noticeable, but didn't think he would drive while he'd been drinking. However, there was no way he had drunk that much since he got here.

"Jazz, I've got food."

When he looked up I noticed his eyes were tired and his whole body appeared tense. I knew he had been having a hard time lately, but since I don't see him much anymore, I didn't realize it was this bad. Both of his parents were killed in a car wreck just over six months ago. Jasper had been driving. They were coming back from Seattle and it was late at night. He had just worked a 16 hour shift and was exhausted. He fell asleep at the wheel and ran off the road, hitting a culvert and flipping his SUV. His mother was thrown from the vehicle and killed instantly, but his father was trapped in the back and bled to death while Jasper tried to get him out. He had taken the whole thing very hard, and started drinking heavily right after the funeral. Since he and Alice had started their sexcapades, however, I thought he had accepted it and was healing. I guess I was wrong. It made me wonder why Alice hadn't mentioned that he was still drinking.

He reached out to take a plate from me, swigging again from his bottle as he did so. We ate in silence. As I watched him eat, I realized that no matter what my feelings were for him, he needed a friend more than a romantic partner and that's what I would be. He needed somebody to hold him and be strong for him; somebody to help him get out of the bottle he had jumped feet first into.

After we ate, I took out plates into the kitchen and rinsed them before sticking them in the empty dishwasher. I was covering the leftovers when a noise behind me alerted me to the fact I wasn't alone in the room anymore.

"Whatcha doin' there, Bells? Need any help?" He was leaning against the counter now, smiling that lopsided smile that made my tummy do flip-flops, looking every bit as delicious as those enchiladas had been…dessert would be good. No! Bad Bella…help him, be his friend, do NOT try to rip his clothes off.

"I've got this, Jazz. You go find us something on TV or put a DVD in. I'll just be a second." He turned and left the room, my eyes following his retreat and appreciating the view his worn Levi's afforded.

I returned to the living room to find Jasper once again leaned back on the couch, bottle in hand. There wasn't much left in it now.

"Jazz, sweetie, can we talk a sec?" He looked up and met my eyes and I was struck again with just how beautiful he was. He made my heart ache. I just wanted to hold him and touch him and love him for the rest of my life, but I needed to put my wants aside and help him get better.

"Watsup, Bells?"

"When did you buy that bottle, Jazz?" When he realized where this was going, his face fell. "I thought you had quit drinking all the time, babe. What's going on with you?"

It seemed that all he needed was somebody to ask. He owned up to everything then, talking about how much he missed his parents and how hard it had been on him knowing he was the one responsible for their death. He told me that the alcohol had helped him sleep at first, then it made him numb, but now it just took more and more to get the job done and he didn't think he'd been sober completely in months. I sat beside him and offered him the only comfort I could – I held him as he let his pain out, and then I left another friend sleeping on my couch under and afghan for the second time in a week.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews and I hope I haven't lost y'all b/c it took me so long to update. RL is kicking my butt.

Thanks so much to my pre-reader Jazzella for her comments and for sharing my love of all things Jasper. Check out her story Behind Enemy Lines. It's a very unique take on the Jasper/Bella pairing and I'm very much addicted to it now.