"Ooh, are we going to go to Wind country? I like sand. I make it into glass, then I make the glass into things. Like rockets. Can we go there? I want to make a rocket out of sand, set it on fire and launch it at the moon to prank the Ten Tails. Bet if he ever wakes up again, he'll come out of there and be all 'raargh' and then step on the glass rocket and be all 'ow, that hurts!' and I'll be laughing at him because it's funny like that. Or maybe we can go to Water country! Water country is also interesting and fun because I can make waves that go woosh and they clean up all the islands! Try to make sure I rescue people, of course, I don't want to get sued because Ozy'd be unhappy if he had to learn the legal system again, but I-ooh! Butterfly! Do you know anyone with a butterfly summon? I want to chase a butterfly at the proper scale. It'd be fun, come on! Oh, you don't like that idea. Fine, let's see… what about we play a game of chess again? I promise I won't have my knights move in circles this time, the whole mutant superpower thing was a one-off. Maybe a two-off. Actually, what about a game of chess where we can move pieces all the time not just in our turns? That would be fun. I'd win because I can move loads of pieces at once. Oh, I have another question. What's the point of saying something's better than a poke in the eye with a blunt stick? Looooads of things are better than that. The only thing that's worse is a sharp stick, because with a blunt stick at least you know that you might keep the eye. Might be a sore subject for you? Certainly a pair of sore eyes – how do you tell when you have itchy eye problems if it's always red? Or black. Or both. Does it feel weird when you change what they are? I bet it does. In fact, I think that it feels like having sand in them. Because when other people get sand in them their eyes go red too. Perhaps it's a sign that you need to get better eyedrops. Or it means you're jealous – no, that's green eyes. Hey, hey! If you ever fight a bull… don't make eye contact with him, it'll make the bull reeeally angry with you and then he might charge you. I once met a bull who wasn't nice. He wanted me to be normal. What's the point of that? I'm obviously not normal, in fact you have to wonder if he paid any attention at all. You're paying attention, aren't you? Huh? Huh? Yeah, that's good. I like it when people are polite and pay attention to me, because that way I know they hear what I'm saying. Especially because I have to pay attention to what I say since I have an attention span that's a little shorter than most people, so other people can't just not listen or they miss most of my point, which in this case is - chocolate covered grapes! Can we go and get some? They sound nice, right? Grapes… in chocolate! Sort of like a Liqueur chocolate but the fresher version. Hmmm… fresher. Sounds like refresher, which is a thing you do if you forgot something but not completely and need a reminder. Which is like refreshment, which the grapes are. See? I worked the whole thing in a circle! Tell you what, let's try tag like that. It. Pronoun. Proactive. Hyperactive. ADHD. Me! Meme. Mean. Average. Mode. Setting. Option. Optic. Eyes. Ivy. Plants. Animals. Tracks. Tracking. Chase. Tag! See, it works! No? Okay, I'll try again. It. Ichi. Ichibi. Shukaku. Drunk. Alcohol. Flammable. Fire. Lava. Volcano. Eruption. Temper. Anger. Irritation. Annoyance. Annoyed. Avoid. Escape. Search. Find. Label. Nametag. Tag! Oh, you don't want to play that at all. What about you show me something cool! Come on, please? Pleease? Pretty please? I'd be really grateful. If it's cool enough then I'd be amazed and go 'wow!' and you'd be all 'This is my true power' and then you'd feel better. Maybe you could…"

Madara Uchiha let out a primal scream, whirling to face his boss summon. "AAAAARGH! For the love of all the gods, will you just SHUT UP ALREADY!"

Millie, the Kyuubi no Kitsune, jerked once and was silent. Then she began mumbling loudly through a closed jaw.

"And you can stop that as well. Why I put all the effort in to find you, I will never know." Madara sighed heavily, and sat down.

After a few seconds, he realized it was blessedly quiet.

"Why aren't you… speaking?"

Millie rolled her eyes at him and gestured to her mouth.

"Well? Answer me."

"You just told me to shut up, and I felt kinda light headed and then I couldn't speak. What did you do? It felt weird."

Madara frowned. "Quiet." Yes, there was definitely something happening in his eye every time he gave a direct order. Maybe there was something about the Sharingan? Or his Mangekyo version of it, anyway?

This had interesting implications.

"Remain in the Elemental Countries and do not summon any other foxes. Await my next order."

Millie grumbled, but found it impossible to disobey.

"Oh, and you are not to consider yourself under an illusion."

Her eyes crossed, then she nodded.

Let's see if the other Bijuu are similarly susceptible. And with her little confirmation that the Ten-tails is more than a myth, I think it time to research that.

Maybe if there's only one of them then I can actually make them stay shut up.

AN: ...yeah.

This came about after I wondered where Madara's start in his evil plan came from. Then I realized that my version of the Kyuubi, being based off Millicent Mudd from Ozy and Millie, would probably have just annoyed him into conquering the world.

And discovering that the Sharingan could control Bijuu must have happened relatively recently or the Senju would have been flattened under the weight of the Uchiha Bijuu Army. The First WAS the only one to have the Wood release...

It's surprisingly hard to write stream-of-consciousness annoying person, by the way.