Chapter 2
Here be the next chapter, which will hopefully start clearing things up as far as the title goes.
For xXRandomnessXx: lol Sometimes it takes a while for these darn plots to get off the ground. Sorry if there's been some confusion.
For nobodyshouldknow: If the writing's kind of good, then that's good enough for me!
...And yes, it's true, I feel like shouting "HALLELUJAH!" whenever I get a review. Heh-heh-heh...
Omi, Kimiko, and Uarcay were riding Dojo through the cool air which hovered above the Great Lakes. In the blink of an eye Kim could spot a bustling city below. She narrowed her eyes and pointed. "That's gotta be Chicago."
Omi swept his view along the roads and all the cars that looked like scuttling ants, still unsure. "But is it truly?"
"Only one way to find out," said Dojo with a suspended claw. "Attention all passengers, we will shortly be making a coast into Not-yet-named City; the 'plane' is zeroing in on a fresh new Shen Gong Wu artifact, so please fasten your seatbelts and prepare for a change in the air pressure. Thank you!"
"No thank YOU Dojo!" Omi replied happily. "For making our journey as secure and comfortable as possible!"
Kim ceased taking in the sights for a minute. "Huh, I'd have to agree there Omi… yeah Dojo you're a good flyer – thanks!" She grinned a nice big grin.
"OH I feel so loved right now!" The dragon was just about ready to tear up... but that's when he heard Uarcay start to speak.
"You guys... I don't feel well," she informed, holding onto Dojo's back with both arms and legs.
"There will be NO upchucking on the finely polished scales!"
"But the pressure's too light; my head is going to burst at any time."
The Chinese Lung thought about this a tad, yet he kept on flying forward anyway.
"DOJO, pull down!" shouted Kimiko smack-dab in his ear.
"Gggah!" He then promptly made a nosedive, and his passengers let out a split-second yell as a reaction.
Back at the Xiaolin Temple, Clay and Raimundo had finished putting on their casual wear and were heading outside the temple gates, setting up to pay a visit to Jack Spicer's lair.
"I still can't believe we're about to ask JACK for help," Rai grumbled as he carried the Silver Manta Ray underneath his arm.
Clay strolled alongside him. "Well partner, you weren't keen on givin' the hospital a try, even though it's much more trustworthy than it is slippery."
"...You mean slippery as a river otter?" The monk wanted to get any cowpoke sayings of Clay's out of the way.
"Yeah, right! Just like a river otter!"
"And that's what Jack would be." Raimundo respired once – then he threw the Shen Gong Wu into the air. "Silver Manta Ray!"
The Wu glowed and glimmered before growing into a majestic aircraft. Although... the majestic aircraft only floated in the air a short while before its right wing blew out and its whirring slowed to a crawl. It had evidently been badly damaged by the monks' previous "little" voyage.
"Oooh..." Clay stared up at the Ray, a hand on his chin.
After a rather awkward pause, Rai got into gear. "C'mon, still looks workable enough," he settled, making a dash for the pilot's seat. "Uhhh..." came a wary sound from the Texan.
A few hours later, the Manta Ray (which turned out to be a hassle to control) eventually made an uneven landing on the lawn next to Jack Spicer's mansion. The day was bright and sunny, yet there, of course, was nobody who had bothered to go outside to take in some Vitamin D for a change.
On the flip side, loud techno music could be heard blasting from inside the mansion's basement. The mechanical genius himself was right in the middle of building an odd black ring which stood one foot tall and had a luminescent cobalt interior. He could vaguely make out the sound of someone barging through his door. He ignored it however and continued with his welding and massive headbanging. Unfortunately, this was no ordinary someone who had just ripped the genius's back door off its hinges. The dark silhouette of a giant wearing a ten-gallon hat soon crept upon him and took him by the shoulder.
"AAH!" screeched Jack in pure startlement. Clay forcefully turned his rolling chair around and glared down at the scrawny weakling. "Howdy Jack."
"W-what?" Jack responded as he watched Clay and Raimundo gang up on him. "What in the hey are you Xiaolin Losers breaking into my evil lair for? Don't you have something better to do?"
"Nope, cuz you're gonna get us outta a pickle of ours," Clay stated, crossing his arms.
"...Come again?"
"You're gonna help Raimundo with a lil' health issue." The cowboy pointed at Rai, who made a face and put his hands in his pockets.
"Oh sure... I guess if you're honestly asking for it I could help you with whatever." Jack stood up from the chair and then rubbed two of his fingers together. "At least, you know, for a fee."
To that Clay immediately grabbed the albino by the collar, carried him over, and slammed him against the wall. "WE'RE NOT ASKIN' YA YOU DIRTY SNAKE!"
Raimundo stepped toward the two cautiously and took his hands out of his pockets. "Whoa, uh Clay, you don't have to be so – "
"You ARE gonna help Rai, or so help ME I will snap your spine into two halves and start usin' 'em as toothpicks! GOT THAT?"
"Yes, all right," Jack squeaked and nodded. "Just please put me down!"
"...Okay then." The cowboy loosened his grip and let the shaken-up redhead drop to the floor.
Shivering still, Spicer thought it best to go ahead and get down to business. "N-now what is it were you saying about health issues?"
Clay's nod to his friend signaled to him that he now had the floor. "Eh... I've got this 'heart condition,' apparently," Rai briefed, "and it needs to be checked out with some scanners or monitors or whatnot." He looked away and rubbed the back of his neck. "So says Master Fung..."
"...Why not just try your local doctor's office?"
"That ain't gonna happen," Clay explained quickly and plainly.
Jack stared up at the two in confusion, not daring enough yet to budge. "Aaand when did this all start?"
"The minute Rai lost that last Showdown."
"Wait." The evil genius had to elevate his hand to stop everything and think. "...Ooooh, that would explain a lot. Ha-ha... so I won out... with the Horseshoe of Luck... because your heart decided it had enough and went kaput on you? Ha-ha-ha-ha!"
The Brazilian scowled unamused while the Texan's face stayed straight. "It ain't funny Jack."
"Right, of course." The weakling cleared his throat and moved on. "What, if anything, have you oh-so awesome Xiaolins tried to do to fix it so far?"
"We uh, first found out he'd been infected by somethin' nasty, and took care of it..."
Raimundo broke Clay's train of thought for a second to register a complaint. "YEAH, and here they were, taking my bloodstream for some JOYRIDE..."
"Rai, we went over this!" the bigger monk retained. "We were at our wits' end, and you were wastin' away!"
"Whatever dude! It's still called 'trespassing!'"
Spicer meekly brought an end to the argument so some progress could be made. "Um, I'm going to pretend like I didn't hear what I thought I heard and set up my dad's old portable electrocardiogram. ...Capiche?" He slowly raised a pair of white thumbs.
Clay and Rai peered at him another time over. "Yeah-yeah, capiche," Clay mumbled.
"Just as SOON as I get my land legs back." Jack Spicer hobbled up to his feet and pitifully tugged himself along as the two Xiaolin monks watched, not pitying him in the least.
Meanwhile, in the grand city of what appeared to be Chicago (but wasn't for certain yet), Dojo made his descent into a cozy and charming park over by the wayside. This was a wise maneuver, seeing as how the surrounding streets were completely flooded with cabs, buses, and pedestrians.
"Here's where we dismount folks! And thanks again for using Kanojo Cho Airlines!"
"O-okay... seriously now, stop it," Kim giggled in faint irritation. She and Omi went ahead and slid down the dragon's big old back.
The Chinese Lung tapped his claws on the fresh grass and waited. After waiting an entire few seconds, he turned his head over to Uarcay, who remained stuck to him. "When I say 'we dismount,' I mean we ALL dismount!"
"Sorry." The bemarun rapidly lifted her weight off and got her brown feet on the ground in a clumsy fashion. That's when Dojo could shrink to his more "convenient" size.
"Now that we have been grassed," Omi began, "we can search for the Lamp of Xingwei cleanly..." he focused to the left, "and precisely..." he focused to the right. "Dojo, lead the way, if you would so kindly please."
"Hold up Omi, I think it'd be a good idea if we let Uarcay sharpen her hunting skills and find the Wu before we do," Kimiko suggested, looking up to the eight-foot bemarun. "...Oh, and keep her discreet out on the streets, if we can."
Uarcay returned the look to Kim after hearing this mention of "hunting skills." "...Why do you want me to find the 'Wu' relic first?"
"Well, cuz um, you're gonna be filling in for Raimundo for a while." However, the Fire monk could not explain this without squirming in discomfort.
"...Filling in? ARE YOU SERIOUS?" Uarcay exclaimed instantaneously. "I can't be a Xiaolin like you can!"
"Ah, not yet," clarified Omi, who had been a Xiaolin monk the longest, "but with enough MEDITATION," he peered at Kim, "AND practice, you shall become a competent warrior destined to bite evil in its blistered hindquarters!"
Both Kimiko and Uarcay gawked at what the Water warrior just uttered.
"...Can we move things along gang?" Dojo cut in. "My crests are still spazzing like a bat out of heck."
"YES, let's!" Omi charged forward into town, making the rest follow like sheep out a pin.
Traversing the busy city was quite the experience, especially for the one named Uarcay. Billboards promoting fine wine, twinkling lights at the downtown theaters, and jazzy music playing just outside the hotel lobbies caught the bemarun's attention. On the other hand, she was drawing the attention of the local pedestrians, whom she could hear gasping and whispering amongst one another as her tall form passed them by. This didn't make her feel comfortable in the slightest.
Dojo was leading the pack, sniffing the paved ground (how unsanitary), until from a short distance a taxi cab could be spotted coming on him pretty rapidly. It rushed past and nearly knocked his little dragon snout clean off.
"WHOA!" He bunched up his body and snatched hold of his nose to make sure it didn't get blown away.
"Man this place in a mad rush," remarked Kimiko. She reached down to hoist the poor dragon up into her arms. "C'mon Dojo, we gotta be more careful so you don't become roadkill for the pigeons to munch on."
"That's a happy thought," Dojo kidded.
Uarcay was evaluating the hasty movement of people happening all around the area, when she found herself laying eye on two giant human faces that were spewing out water, just past a few trees. "Huh?" They intrigued her and as such enticed her to saunter on toward them.
Omi spied the bemarun leaving the group out of the corner of his eye. "Uarcay, where are you going?" He had just revved up to go pitter-pattering after her, but before he could a voice grabbed his ear right then and there. The voice soon broke out into echoing laughter, and it most certainly did not sound like the good kind. The Water monk creased his eyebrows, gasped at the speculation of evil, and pursued the noise alternatively.
And simultaneously, Uarcay was so mesmerized by one of the towering faces lying ahead that she had forgotten exactly where her feet were walking. As she pushed onward through a big green bush she inevitably got tangled in its branches and wound up stumbling over something that felt like a hollow rock. Now flat on the grass, with nothing but her chin to have broken her fall, Uarcay heard an object join her outside the bush. She flipped her eye to it, and the first impression she got was that it appeared a scary thing, with a small reptilian face shining its white eyes and baring its fangs. Only then did she jump back out of fright and scramble to her feet.
"Uarcay, what happened to you?" Kim came by out of the blue, with Dojo draped around her neck. "You know what, actually, just for future reference, wandering off is the absolute LAST thing you wanna do in such a hectic metropolis. And – " She glanced down at the ground where a Chinese-fashioned lamp lay. "Oh. What've we got here?"
"THE LAMP OF XINGWEI!" screamed Dojo, crests a-twitch. "I'd recognize that freakish dragon mask anywhere!"
When Uarcay finally chose to pick the Lamp up for presentation (and crack a smile for good measure), the gecko-dragon stopped twitching, and all his enthusiasm diminished. "Um, yeah... nice job. ...Now where's the cheese ball?"
The bemarun's smile faded. "...I can't tell you where the cheese ball is," she answered quite unknowingly, "but this water spring over here is amazing. I... really can't describe it another way."
Kim and Dojo laid their own eyes upon Crown Fountain. "I guess if you enjoy being stared at and drooled on," was Dojo's honest perception of it.
Kim, however, sighed and brought out her cell phone regardless. "Yep, this is Chicago all right! Rai sure would've gotten a kick out of this, no question." She finished by snapping a quick picture of the right face.
Shaking her head in an atypical manner, Uarcay paid a bit too much mind to Kimiko's "regretful" words and, with a release of the Lamp of Xingwei, she barreled out into the fountain, letting the spout of water instantly shower her long brown body. Her reckless attempt to thoroughly wash herself attracted the attention of many in Millennium Park – not the desired result.
"UARCAY, what in sekai has gotten into you?" the Japanesian hollered.
"Get outta there you lunatic gorilla!" shouted the Chinesian dragon.
While the trio had at the very least found what they were looking for, Omi was determined to ferret out the sound of the familiar voice. He rocketed past a few people and even knocked over a man's gift boxes that he'd been carrying. "Hey!" he yelled.
"Forgive meee!" apologized Omi from a distance. He kept running, panting, hearing the sound grow closer and closer, until he passed a bunch of television sets in a shopping window. Then he abruptly skidded to a halt and backtracked as he caught the voice emitting from the TVs themselves.
"So come on over to Chicago's Culture Fest, where there'll be plenty o' games and concessions galore... and where yours truly will be discussin' the benefits of ethnic unity here in the States! You want genuine free unity? Then for President, you'd better vote for Hannibal Roy!"
"...What?" On the television screens Omi perceived a large husky man sporting a mustache and a white-colored hat and suit. He had a green parrot with a red crest sitting atop his shoulder, not unlike the clichéd appearance of a pirate.
"And remember," the man declared, "'the folks don't get nowhere without treatin' their far-flung kin fair!'"
"Treat fair! Treat fair!" squawked the green parrot for emphasis.
The man laughed heartily in return.
Omi has yet to learn of the REAL evils in American politics.
What's the deal with Clay, treating Jack like dirt even more so than usual? And why does Jack seem to relish the thought of Raimundo's health being in danger? ...Is he jealous of the Brazilian's athleticism? Yup, he must be jealous.
Unsurprisingly, Rai's still upset about the whole "Fantastic Voyage" ordeal. Well hey, Arnold had it much worse in The Magic School Bus! What's there really to complain about?