I wasn't sure whether to continue this or not, but then I got follows and a review and more ideas kept coming! Also, I saw Avenue Q on Saturday and it was AMAZING! Such a great night! Rod and Nicky are just so adorable. I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Avenue Q...but I think it's quite obvious that I don't.

How could he have done that? How could he have said those things?

Rod continued to stare blankly at the bedroom ceiling, painfully aware of the fact that Nicky's heavy breathing would never be next to him again. He'd never wake up to that lazy, cheerful smile, or come home to the love of his life.

"I would say that my buddy, Rod, is a closeted homosexual!"

He squeezed his eyes shut, forcefully reminded of the humiliating, heart – wrenching spectacle that had supposed to be a celebration of Brian and Christmas Eve's love. That God damn Nicky...Saying what he'd been trying so desperately to convince himself wasn't true...In front of all their friends and neighbours...

He hadn't made things any easier on himself, obviously. He'd said things that no reasonable straight man would say, but he'd just been so desperate at the time that he'd said anything to pass off his sexuality. He knew as soon as he'd done it that he'd made everything a hundred times worse. And their faces...They must have been disgusted...

Yet again, there was a thump at his door and he groaned, turning over in his pillow in an attempt to muffle the noise.

"Rodney!" Christmas Eve shouted, "You open this door NOW!"

How many times had they tried this? As far as he was concerned, he was staying in his apartment alone for the rest of his miserable life. He'd gone out only a few days ago to see a homeless Nicky begging for money. He'd felt so sick and shaky that he'd immediately ran back into the apartment where he'd promptly thrown up and cried himself to sleep. His Nicky – his lazy, scruffy, beautiful Nicky – living in a gutter.

"Come on, buddy!" Brian joined in anxiously, "There is LIFE outside here –"

"BLIAN! You shut up and fetch Gary. We coming in, Rod!"

He took the pillow away from his face instantly, and when he shouted back his voice was dry and strangled, "NO! I don't want to see anyone! Leave me alone!"

"Step aside, step aside, I got the keys..." He heard Gary Coleman grumble and then there was the unmistakable sound of a key turning in the lock.

Rod curled up in bed, his hands covering his face as he bit his lip to stop himself from doing something stupid like crying. Footsteps approached the locked door of his bedroom and he dragged his blankets over his head in another attempt to drown out the unwelcome noise.

"You no go on like this, Rod." Christmas Eve said calmly from outside of his bedroom door, "We worry for you. If you no want to see Nicky, that ok, but let me in and we talk."

"Rod..." Another soft voice joined in – Kate Monster, "Rod, I haven't seen you for weeks. Come on. This isn't like you."

"Who – who else is there?" He whimpered, carefully removing his hands from his face.

"No one. Just us two." Kate replied gently, "Will you unlock the door?"

Slowly, as if he was in a trance, he got out of bed and on shaking legs, walked towards the door. His hands were weak and uncooperative as he fumbled with the lock, before hesitantly prising it open. He glanced at the two concerned women in front of him and suddenly burst into tears.

"Oh, Rod!" Kate wailed, grabbing her friend into a hug, "It's ok! It's gonna be ok!"

"N-N-No it won't!" He continued to cry pathetically into her shoulder, "I h-hate myself!"

"Rod," Christmas Eve firmly led him over to the living room, where she sat him down into a chair, whilst Kate continued to pat his back, "Why you acting like this? Is this because of what Nicky said?"

He furiously wiped his eyes, agitated beyond belief, "H-He had no right!"

"But was it really so bad?" Kate asked carefully, so as not to rile the already hysterical investment banker, "And we've seen him, Rod. He's miserable without you too!"

"I'm NOT GAY!" Rod screamed, balling up his fists and making his friends jump slightly in alarm, "I – AM – NOT!"

The sympathetic expressions from them only angered him further and he jumped up from the sofa in a new state of determination. "THIS is what I think of...of homosexuals!" He shrieked, snatching up a photo of himself and Nicky when they'd graduated from college all those years ago and throwing it wildly. It smashed against the near wall, echoing loudly throughout the small apartment. "THAT is what I – I –"

"Rod!" Kate squealed, leaping up to stop her friend. The photo frame had taken a large chunk out of the plastered wall and glass had shattered everywhere. The photo was slightly torn, but not too drastically ripped – thank God. She knew how much Rod would regret this when he eventually calmed down.

"Rodney, you acting crazy!" Christmas Eve shouted, doing her best to kick the shards of glass out of the way as she approached him, "Who care if you gay, straight or bisexual? No one care!"

He sank to the floor, more sobs wracking through his thin body as Kate comfortingly wrapped her arms around him. "We love you for who you are. Nothing will change that, ever."

"I miss Nicky." He whispered back shakily, slumping against her.

"We know. And he's more than hopeless without you."

"Why didn't you let him stay with you?" He found himself bursting out, "You know he can't do anything for himself! You know he needs to be –"

"He has no house skills. He a nuisance." Christmas Eve waved her hands dismissively, "Only you know how to put up with him, Rod! Why you no talk to him and sort it out?"

"There's nothing to sort out." Rod clambered back to his feet, unable to look or listen to them anymore. "I'd like you to leave now, please."

"Oh, Rod –"

"Now." He snarled, shrugging away from Kate's touch and storming back into his bedroom. He'd barely managed to re-lock the door when he began crying again. Why did love have to hurt so much?