A/N: Sorry, I.C. 2014... I feel horrible for James as well (he's my very favorite Pokemon character, even if he's half evil), but you can't really be "good enough" for Heaven if you go around trying to kidnap people's pets. (Actually, no human can be "good enough" anyway, but there's not much point to discussing theology here, as this is a fanfic, not an ill-advised attempt at indoctrination.) But don't worry; I know something James doesn't regarding his true fate, and we'll find out about that pretty soon... heh heh heh.

27dayz – Thanks! This story almost didn't get written at all, but it all started with a dream I had that manifested itself into No Greater Love, the prequel to this story. You can read it if you like, but be forewarned – it's DARK. This story will end on a more positive note.

Ten Years Earlier

"Wake up, Jessie! Wake up!"

"Ergh... Go away, James! I may not NEED my beauty sleep, but I'd still like to-"

"Sleep in? Are you crazy? IT'S CHRISTMAS!"

"Why don't you just go die in a landslide, James? You're going to cause one if you keep yelling like that, you know!"

A few dozen feet above Jessie and James' mountainside camp, the "future" versions of Jessie and James, one of whom was currently made of ectoplasm, watched with profound embarrassment. Future Jessie turned to her ghostly companion. "Oh, I get it! You brought me here to make me feel even more miserable, didn't you?"

Ghost James looked even more sheepish. "Hey, you really did say that. And I don't blame you, either."

"So? Every freaking Christmas you got me up before the sunrise, even when we didn't have any presents, which we usually didn't! And then I had to hear you whine about not getting anything from me, and-"

"-and you'd give me a present with both your fists at high velocity." James looked nostalgic. "Good times. In comparison, I mean." Suddenly noticing Jessie's attempt to scramble down the mountainside to her past self, he grabbed her by the arm. "There's no use trying to change fate, Jess. I've already tried that. Like it or not, that's still going to be my last day alive."

Jessie sniffled, watching her past self bicker with the still-living James. "Then how did you bring me here in the first place? Is this all just an illusion?"

"It is, and it isn't. It's kind of hard to explain, and coming from me, that's saying something."

"Arrogant much? Coming from you, EVERYTHING'S hard to explain. What, do you come by that naturally, or did you plant a pair of Oddish in your ears when you were young and stupid?"

Ghost James froze in shock. "How... how did you KNOW?"

Jessie, also shocked, made a mental note to file that one away for future reference, just in case she ever got another chance to make James miserable. She guiltily checked herself; after James' demise, she'd promised herself that if she ever had another chance to be a friend to someone, she wouldn't be the monster she'd been to James. And now he was back (temporarily, at least), and here she was thinking of how to abuse him again!

She decided to let the obvious Oddish-seed question slide for the moment. Quite frankly, she wasn't sure she even wanted to know. "Okay, forget that. Am I going to get an answer, or do you still have leaves between your ears?"

"Just trust me."

"How can I trust you? You're DEAD!"

James looked hurt. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, maybe the fact that, by your own admittance, you wound up in Hell should at least make me a LITTLE bit worried about believing anything you say..."

This genuinely stopped James dead in his tracks (if you'll pardon the expression). He honestly had no idea how to answer that accusation. Come to think about it, as soon as he'd escaped from Hades, he'd had the strangest feeling that it had been maybe a tad TOO easy. Not that it had been easy at all, but James remembered enough from Sunday School lessons that once you were in Hell, you were in Hell for good; and he'd certainly learned firsthand in his ten-year "detention" that most of the "ghosts" that DID escape into the mortal realm were actually shapeshifting Pokemon or demons in disguise (a thought that thoroughly spooked James, as he'd fallen in love with a ghost girl once at Madien's Peak in Kanto; what if they had gotten serious? It didn't bear thinking about. James hoped that the Gastly in question didn't have his number, because that would just be wrong.)

So how had he really escaped? Was all this a mistake? God didn't make mistakes... right?

Jessie was still talking (as she usually was). "Jameson Morgan Kojiro, if you weren't already a ghost, then so help me, I'd turn you into one right this second."

"If I wasn't a ghost, we wouldn't be having this conversation, would we?"

Jessie was about to snap back with something very rude, but a wriggly green presence on her shoulder advised her otherwise. "Weedlepie," James the Second warned, gently nudging her cheek with its own.

"Okay, James, I'm trusting you against my better judgment. This had better be at least decent." She muttered under her breath, "I would say, 'good,' but nothing we ever did was good, so it would be a waste of my breath."

"We did a few good things. Remember the Legendary Birds incident?"

"Oh, don't mention it. Seriously. DON'T."

Back at the camp, Past James presented Past Jessie with the very last thing she expected that morning: an actual present. Stolen, of course.

Jessie's delight narrowed into suspicion. "Tell me, James, is that a REAL Master Ball, or did you do another one of your little decoupage projects to pull one over on me?"

"I'm pretty sure it's real. Stole it right from some Professor Something-Or-Other. I was going to test it, but I figured you'd want to use it on Arceus."

"How thoughtful, James! You're an angel!"

"Not exactly – if I was an angel, we'd never be here together, would we?" James paused, trying to make his next statement sound casual. "So... what'd you get ME for Christmas?"

And suddenly he got Jessie's present right on his lips – straight from HER lips.

Struggling like a threatened Magikarp, James pulled away right sharpish. True, he was secretly crazy about Jessie, but after his painful experiences with Jessiebelle, he had a phobia of romantic relationships. (ANY romantic relationships.) Besides, Jessie had never really shown any indication that she viewed him as anything more than a hopeless, spineless, suck-up lackey – until now.

James felt like he had died and gone to Heaven, but something still felt wrong.

"C'mon, Luvdiscs!" Meowth called out suddenly, the first time he'd spoken all morning. "Arceus ain't gonna catch itself!"

And the three went off with happy hearts on a mission doomed to horrible failure.

R & R! More coming soon (I hope)!