The Star Without Glow II
Yukina Kou was not a gentleman. Kisa Shouta just realized that when he was brought down the floor unceremoniously.
No sweet words, no sweet preparations and no foreplay. He was surprised at first at the strength the man possessed. He could only stare in disbelief as he was spread open in vulnerability.
One who yearns for his beloved. One who yearns of being needed. They made a temporary convenient combination.
And as soon as Kisa was filled, rationality and gentle-manliness were no more of an issue.
Half of the movie had almost been completed. Still, the number of works to be done was still a mountain. Various people in different teams flocked the studio sets in and out. Extras come and go, superstars get the most of the treatment. And Kisa on an outside set was just in the sidelines waiting to be called.
"Somehow...my character as an extra is evolving into something irritating..." Kisa whispered as he stared at the frilly dress he was wearing. The usual long black hair was effortlessly flowing down his back. The director took a liking to his fresh character that before he could protest, he was thrown in a dress. It wasn't like he had the room to protest anyway being the extra he was. "But seriously...What is going on with this cross-dressing...?"
Today was a scene that would be taken outside. They were in a building made to look rundown. Kisa was under a shade of an overhang outside while some of the others were under their respective umbrellas. The scenario was quite action packed. Kagetora's character and Yukina's character were supposed to be killing each other in that building.
"Oi...ready the mattress over this stairs...this is where Kagetora-san will fall. And over there..."
Kisa sighed. Dazzling men being fixed into dirty, ragged looking men, sweating from killing each other was Kisa's favorite. He liked it even better when during closeups, in the camera, where real veins would seem to pop up from anger could be seen.
"Yukina-san," the woman stunt director continued. "You jump over from the second floor down here in this circle." The woman instructed as she pointed at a circle on the floor. "The harness of course has already been checked. After that, Kagetora-san, try to look like you could not keep on running anymore so you decided to jump from here to the mattress..."
Kisa again sighed. In that scene, he was one of the happy 'girls' that woud be caught up from the chase. He would act that he fell down on the ground and act annoyed. You know, that usual annoying cutesy girls you'd see anywhere. He doubted that he would even see his face being there so many of them.
Watching the two lead actors, Kisa realized he was staring towards the darkblonde unusually longer.
"Oi..." Kisa could still remember that lingering feeling from his waist to everything below. "Is this how you treat your girlfriend? No surprise she ran away..."
Yukina had locked that room from the inside that night. As soon as Kisa agreed, they crashed to the floor, the raven's pants and underwear ripped off from him.
"Shut up..." Yukina hissed, pulling the other's spread legs on both of his sides.
Kisa laughed. He got his shirt still on, the floor was hard and cold and his spine was painfully grazing at it. But this darkblonde man didn't care one bit. Even animals could perhaps be more sensual than what the two of them was doing.
"Oi...wai-"
In one breath, penetration was complete. Kisa almost screamed. He wanted to tell that rabid beast to don't go moving just yet. But it was muffled by a nice smelling hand, sealing his mouth shut.
Having a hard time to breath, Kisa drew air from his nose. He couldn't tell anymore if the pained low grunts was coming from him or from the guy on top of him.
The one thing that made a haunting impression to Kisa was the look in Yukina's eyes. Yukina seemed like something was squeezing his heart out. His eyes getting very reddish although no tears fell from his eyes. He had such eyes while looking at Kisa, while lovingly touching the long hair that made Kisa and Enamoto Kia almost look the same.
"Forceful...desperate..." Kisa thought as his eyes began to water. "He thrusts like a maniac but lovingly caresses my head..."
Kisa closed his eyes. Yukina Kou probably knew that what he was doing was crazy. Deep in his heart he knew this man wasn't Kia. That was why the man was gentle to the face that resembled the lover who eloped. But everything else, he didn't care about at all.
"Sl-slow down..." Kisa gritted, feeling that climax coming from the man inside him. "Don't come insi-"
"The moron did though!" Kisa exasperatedly tugged at his skirt and frowned. "What's more unbelievable, he actually pulled cash out of his wallet right after...am I his whore?!"
Pale blue eyes wandered from the area of the director towards Kagetora and Yukina going a once over about their action scene. Kisa then stood and walked towards the other extras who were already starting on their positions.
"Well...agreeing to that kind of thing...maybe makes me a homo with no principles..."
Unlike the others, even some of the extras have someone to help them with their stuff. But Kisa was different. He was a lone team of his own. Still in the annoying dress, Kisa took his suitcase and wheeled it towards the van where the other extras would be riding back to the studios.
It was around two in the afternoon. The sun blisteringly hot.
"Hey, little lady...want me to give you a ride?"
Kisa didn't have to look. That annoying, overconfident voice could only come from one person.
"I'd appreciate it if you don't bother with an extra like me. I don't want to get into a gay rumor with you, Kagetora-san."
The man laughed. "Aww...but look at you...aren't you perspiring a lot already? Besides, you're in a girl's clothing now...I'm sure being a gentleman to a cute girl wouldn't hurt my image if this gets leaked."
If anything, Kisa wanted to slap the man with his suitcase if he could. The number of times this big shot star pestering him seem to double than he used to before.
"Stop calling me a 'girl' will you or I'll shove this case down your throat."
He said that, but in the end, Kisa decided to ride in Kagetora's car. The man's a friend anyway superstar or not and his waist hurt after all.
Throwing his belongings at the backseat, Kisa then hopped into the passenger's seat, pulling his wig off down to his lap.
"Aww...such a waste...why'd you remove it?"
"It's itchy and annoying. How the hell can women with long hair stand this?" Kisa complained as he stared at the lenght of the wig on his lap. "It gets into my eyes, sticks on the skin when I sweat...it's just inconvenient!"
Kagetora smirked. "But I see no repulsion when the cam's rolling."
"Well of course. It's my job after all."
"Hey, the seatbelt," Kagetora reminded as he started gaining speed. "Put it on. Or shall I?"
"Thanks. But just focus on your driving will you?"
Kagetora seemed to be in high spirits. Humming here and there with some unfamiliar tune to Kisa.
The drive went on quietly. Kisa let the windows down, fending off the strong smell of smoke inside the car. Based on the state of the car, no matter how eye-catching it was, in the end the insides was a dump like any playboy's car would be.
They passed a busy district of the streets, passed a highway and now entering into the studio premises which were comprised of a couple of hectares.
"Kagetora," Kisa mumbled, eyes far ahead. "Don't you think the lead female character of this movie is annoying?"
The one driving knitted his brows as he was looking for a place to park his car the easiest. "Eh? How so?"
"She's...I don't know. She's okay being a toy? She's okay being tossed away later? Stupid. Her personality sucks."
Kagetora laughed. "Is that so? She's just a devoted female for me though. An ideal partner actually."
"I don't like her. What's with the writer's head making such a martyr character? They don't exist in the real world and I can't symphatize with her at all."
"They do. In fact I might see one soon."
"Huh?"
Kagetora Hizaya then stopped the car. He took his seatbelt off, glanced to his companion and smiled thoughtfully.
"The lead female makes decisions without thinking. She doesn't see anything else aside from what she wants. She's able to accept that not because you love someone, the other would reciprocate the same, but she goes on loving that person anyway. And most of all, she's human. She isn't the 'cute' and 'dumb' stereotype that grazes at my patience. She's brave accepting that she'll continue hurting."
"Exactly. What the fuck's the point then?"
"Hmmm...The point is...loving someone is becoming selfless?"
"That's fiction..."
Kagetora laughed heartily. "Say it's corny and everything, but it's true."
"It's not."
"Because you haven't experienced it yet."
"I'm thirty. The hell are you talking about."
"It isn't about age. You could be a 100 and has not fallen in love for real."
"Enough..."
"I think you and the heroine are pretty much the same in some aspects..."
The raven spat "Give me a break!" before scurrying out the car.
"Yare yare...was it a strike zone?"
At the fourth floor of the studio where the movie's set was present, there seemed to be a surprise gathering. The directors were in good spirits because of shooting without many obstructions earlier. They ordered chicken and beer from a nearby establishment and had it delivered to the set.
Everyone was happy chatting or eating. They took their own spots to wherever they wanted. Some on the floor, some on the wooden boxes that served as props. Some were standing and some were even almost lying on the action cushions.
The best part was the big actors and actresses were there as well joining the fun.
"Oi...Kisa-san you're late! Come join us!"
Kisa looked to the wide open doors and saw most of the people making up the movie. He was in his normal appearance again and he figured he could probably use this as dinner instead of paying out of his wallet. So with a warm smile, he went in.
"Thanks for your good work!"
"Thanks you've worked hard too!"
Kisa looked into the large table and thought about getting a drumstick or the thigh part. But his eyes were dragged to the three shining jewels at the very center of the set together with the directors. Kagetora Hizaya seemingly have just thrown off a joke and the angelic Hanasono Mikawa was as usual laughing in such a graceful manner. Yukina Kou was smiling too.
It just happened for a split second that Kisa's and Yukina's eyes met. Within that distance, in that split second, they noticed each other's presence. But to Kisa's dismay, Yukina didn't so much as nod or smile or even acknowledge him.
"Ah...sou...I don't exist without the wig huh?"
He had eaten too much. By the heaviness in his stomach to the feeling of wanting to throw up, Kisa knew he went over board with the free food. It was getting late and most of the people were happy to go home earlier than usual. As for Kisa, he decided to walk around a couple more minutes around the studio building to relax his upset stomach.
"I have the script...my wallet...my phone..." Kisa mumbled, peering into his duffel bag so that he could just directly go home after his mild walk. After rummaging at the depths of his bag, he made a disgusted face. "The hell...how did I put this in here without noticing?"
Kisa sighed and scratched the back of his head. Continuing his walk, he decided to go down the thirdfloor using the fire exit. Better use the stairs at a time like this to get his digestion going.
Mindlessly walking down, Kisa suddenly paused.
"What's that?"
Very faintly, Kisa could hear voices. Voices of a woman and a man, a few deep sighing too. Curious, Kisa slowly went down, softly almost on his tiptoes. And as he grew nearer, the voices got clearer.
"Wow...Yukina Kou-san actually gave his side of the rumor that he and his long time girlfriend already has broken up. He insists it wasn't an elopement on the part of Enamoto Kia-san though..."
When Kisa reached the last couple of the steps, he realized a man sitting on the steps, holding what seemed like a phone.
"Well...fans say it's because Yukina-san is a gentleman he didn't want bad things going on about his exgirlfriend although they're already over."
Kisa figured right on the spot that Yukina Kou was watching a late night gossip show. An annoying and irritating show at that. He was surprised that Yukina Kou was just calmly sitting there not cursing at the annoying hosts.
"One thing's for sure though. The fans are happier that Yukina-san is officially single now. More wild fantasies for them I guess!"
"Sou neee~~!"
Lamely, Yukina Kou turned his phone off and just stared into space. The depressed back of the man spoke so many things to Kisa, making him remember the pained expression the darkblonde man had back then.
Kisa looked into his bag shortly. Cursing himself why he was even doing this kind of service to this superstar with some long hair fetish. Kisa grabbed the wig from his bag and wore it. He wondered if his face really change that much with long or short hair. But it was most probably because it was a 'tool'.
Well of course. That wig probably made it easier for the man to convince himself that the person he was holding was a woman instead of a man. When you're mind is tired and your chest is in chaos, it isn't that hard to use even the simplest things and use it for one's convenience.
Kisa drew a deep breath and exhaled very slowly.
"Why is such a big named guy like you be moping here in the fire exit?"
The man sitting didn't answer. In fact he acted like he didn't hear anything.
"You got some personality problems you know?" Kisa said as he plopped down on the same step where Yukina was sitting.
When Yukina noticed the guy beside him had the wig on, he looked away, like a child in a tantrum.
"What are you doing parading with that thing on?"
Kisa stared up the single bulb lighting the area. "Because this is the only way to get you talk to me? You don't practically see me without this on."
Yukina Kou ran a hand over his face.
"Don't get the wrong idea here. I am not interested in men."
"Ouch, hai hai. No need for explanations. That night was just brought by frustration of having been dumped by your girlfriend, a little booze and incidentally I resemble her with this thing..." Kisa played on. "I know. You reek of 'straight' everywhere."
"..."
Both of them just sat there without a topic in mind. Kisa started getting restless. He looked up, he looked to the side, to his shoes, then to Yukina who was just staring into space.
"You like her that much?"
Yukina slowly turned to the guy questioning him and raised a hand. Reaching to the long strands of hair against Kisa's face, the man gave a small smile. A devastating one that Kisa felt he must have gone blinded.
"You do look like her this way..." he softly said, obvious frustration present in the man's voice. "So much...actually..."
"I see.""
"Ne...Kisa-san, right?" Yukina asked as he slowly moved closer. "Can I hug you?"
"Eh...?"
Kisa stared. Yukina was clearly head over heals with that woman. Seeing a good-looking man like this, who had everything and the fame wallow like a loser, it made Kisa wonder if he ever even loved as much as this guy did. Both of them had just been in break-ups, but Kisa wasn't this devastated.
"Okay I guess," Kisa replied. "I don't have boobs though."
Yukina for the first time ever that Kisa had seen, giggled slightly. Gently like Kisa was a precious glass that can break any moment, Yukina pulled the other closer to him. Not too tight. Not to light. The kind that just makes one feel calm and at the same time jittery.
"I'm sorry for my actions last time..."
"It's o-"
"Kia..."
"..."
Kisa was made frozen by the coldness that was starting to spread against his neck. The strangled breathing that was tickling his skin too made Kisa raise a hand in an attempt to rub the other's back.
To the raven, it was clear that the apology wasn't for him. Those tears against his neck wasn't for him. It was for an Enamoto Kia who chose to leave an almost perfect man for reasons that Yukina seemed to not want to share.
"Come back...please..." Yukina whispered. Softly like a heartfelt prayer that stabbed at Kisa. "I'm sorry...come back to me..."
This made Kisa said something outrageous. Pity? Feeling the same loss of relationships? Or his upset stomach went straight to his head? Who knows? Right before Kisa could stop himself, his mouth already had done it. Besides, thinking back, they'd already done it what's there left to lose?
"Why don't I be your 'Kia' for a while?"
The supposedly one night they'd been together, that night that should have never happened in the first place, had been repeated. At different places. At different times. Again. And again. And again.
chapter end notes:
thanks for the warm words! XD this isn't going to be a very long one. probably around 10 chappies. currently i am at chappy 5. . XD
-shuusetsu