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Kate couldn't recall the last time she was so nervous before a date. Usually she was not the type to spend hours choosing what to wear, doing the hair, putting on make up, but now it was exactly what she was doing. None of her dresses seemed to be good enough, she couldn't do her hair the way she wanted to, the purse didn't match the shoes… After a few hours of this torture Kate gave a frustrated sigh and crashed on the bed right on the hip of clothes.
"Why do I even care about that nonsense? Do I really want to impress him? Oh, who am I kidding, of course I want to impress him! But it's not like I can show him something he hasn't seen before." Finally she decided on a lightgreen flared summer dress, matching high-heeled open toe shoes and a simple white fancy-bag. She applied a little make up and let her luxurious locks cascade down wildly around her shoulders.
At 5 p.m. Rick was already waiting in his car without taking his eyes off the front door. When after what seemed like an eternity Kate at last appeared Castle's jaw literally dropped. Of course last night he noticed she was dazzlingly beautiful, with her killer cheekbones and mesmerizing green eyes, but now in the light of day, when the sunrays were dancing in her hair, she seemed to have leapt from the pages of a fairy-tale. Coming round, he rushed to meet her.
"Hey!" He greeted her with a beaming smile and kissed her on the cheek. "Wow, you look…" He couldn't find the right word to describe how she looked.
"What? Richard Castle is for once at a loss for words?" She teased.
"Touche! Um, these are for you." Rick gave her a bunch of red roses. "I know roses are a cliché, but I still think they are the most beautiful flowers ever."
"I also think so. Thank you." Now she kissed him on the cheek making him smile sweetly. It felt so natural to do so, like she's been doing it for a long time. "Look, I don't want the roses to wither, so do you want to come in for a minute, I'll just put them in a vase."
"Yeah, sure."
While Kate was searching for a vase, Castle had a chance to take a look around the apartment. It was nice but what caught his eye was a wall lined with dozens of photos. There were lots of photos of Kate with her parents (she looked very much like her mother), with some friends, and there was one photo with a guy that draw Rick's attention. He could tell that he was not just a friend and suddenly he felt a pang of jealousy.
"Rick, what are you looking at?"
"The photos. Can I ask you something?" He said frowning slightly, and Kate felt worried.
"Yeah, what's up?"
"Who's this?" He pointed to the photo of Kate snuggling to a guy.
"Oh, this shouldn't be here anymore." She took the photo, tore it to pieces and threw them into a trash can. Rick gave her a questioning look. "It's Derek, we broke up not long ago. Let's go."
"Why?"
"Because we have a date, silly." Kate was confused by his question.
"No, I mean why did you two break up?"
"He cheated on me. Simple as that." Kate said nonchalantly and they both headed for the car.
"What a fool! How could he cheat on a girl like you?" Kate couldn't help smiling at his words.
"Well, apparently he could. But I actually never understood that whole cheating thing."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean why would anyone cheat? It makes absolutely no sense. If you are dating someone then why would you cheat, lie, hurt the other? If you don't like something about your lover, then why not talk, discuss it, find a compromise, or simply break up? If you need something else, okay, it happens, then just find the courage to end this relationship. And if you really like the person you're dating, it makes even less sense if you cheat. I just don't get it." Kate sighed.
"Are you okay?" Rick was genuinely worried that she was hurt by that Derek and was still getting over him.
"Yeah. It's not like he broke my heart and I cried myself to sleep every night after we broke up." She smiled. "He was smart and sexy, he was a sportsman and I liked him, I really did, but still that wasn't enough."
"Oh, I see. And why wasn't it enough?" Now Rick was curious.
"Well, one day I just realized that Derek doesn't make me feel the way I want to, that we are not going to have the relationship I want. You know, my whole life I've been watching my parents, how much they love each other. Even after 20 years of marriage they still haven't lost that loving feeling and I know it sounds ridiculous, but it's true. I will never forget how 3 months ago I decided to surprise them and flew to NY for the weekend without telling them. I opened the door of our apartment and heard Celine Dion's "Because you loved me" and when I came to the living room I saw my parents there. They were dancing. DANCING to a love song! I wish someday I would find a man who can love me just as much as my Dad loves my Mom and I will love him even more. Oh, I must have bored you with this nonsense."
"No, not at all. In fact, I understand you. You know, I believe in Santa, in Yeti, in supernatural." Kate gave him an incredulous look. "Yes, I do. And I try real hard to believe that love exists. But so far no woman ever made me feel it."
"Oh, come on! You are not actually comparing love and Santa!"
"Why cannot I?"
"Because! Rick, you've got to be kidding me!"
"No, I'm not kidding. I do believe in Santa! And in love."
"What are you – five?" Kate was laughing.
"Ha-ha! Laugh as you might, I won't change my opinion." He said stubbornly in a childish tone that made Kate laugh even more.
Castle parked his car on the street and Kate realized they were near the Golden Gate Park.
"The weather is perfect for a picnic." Castle said as if reading her mind.
Being a gentleman he quickly opened the door of the car for Kate, grabbed the hamper from the backseat and, taking Kate by the hand led her into the park. They spent a couple of hours in the park talking and laughing. Kate secretly hoped that he would kiss her then, especially when they were lying on the grass so close to each other that their hands accidentally brushed. She couldn't help imagining how his lips would feel on hers, since only his touch sent shivers down her spine. But he didn't kiss her, not even on the cheek, and she felt a little disappointed. "Maybe he's not even interested in me in that way…" she thought.
Later when Kate was about to get into the car he stopped her.
"Wait, the date's not over yet." He winked and took her by the hand again pulling her towards the nearest street. When they stopped to wait for the green light to cross the street Kate turned to face Castle and asked. "Rick, where are we…" but she didn't get a chance to finish the sentence because suddenly she felt being pulled towards him by his arm on her waist and his other hand on the back of her neck and before she knew it his lips were on hers. For a split second she was taken aback but an instant later her body reacted before her mind could process what was happening. She locked her arms behind his neck and kissed him back meeting his tenderness. She was melting into him and there was nothing she could do to stop the world from spinning faster and faster with each passing second. His lips felt so soft and loving against hers, he kept moving them ever so slowly, it was not a French kiss, but still Kate felt as though a thousand butterflies were just set free in the pit of her stomach. This sudden feeling hit her so hard that she had to grip Rick's shoulders to steady herself causing him to pull her even closer. If there was a kiss that could be described as toe-curling, breathtaking and sensual, this was it. They missed the green light and didn't care at all. After what seemed like an hour they pulled away to catch their breath but the second Rick met Kate's glimmering green eyes and her swollen lips, he couldn't help drawing her in for another kiss, a deep and passionate one. Once again the world stopped, only his arms, his lips and his tongue existed for Kate, suddenly there was a desperate need for his kisses and she couldn't get enough of him. Her heart was racing wildly and she could barely breathe but didn't want his lips to leave hers even for a split second. They just stood there at the crossroads, lost in each other's arms and kisses, totally forgetting about the world around them. Finally they broke the kiss and all Rick was able to say was "Wow". Kate blushed deeply and gasped out "Yeah…"
They headed for a nice small cafe where they spent a few hours just talking and joking. Rick never took his hand off Kate's waist so they sat there in each other's arms, every now and then Rick would place gentle kisses on her cheeks and hands making her breath hitch. Later on they went for a walk along the picturesque streets of San Francisco until the night fell on the city.
"I should probably drive you home, it's getting late." He said with a note of disappointment – he didn't want this night to end, in fact, he didn't want to be away from her even for a few hours.
"Yes, we better go. I have to go to work tomorrow morning."
Half an hour later the car stopped by Kate's apartment building.
"You know what? I realized that I don't have your phone number." Rick chuckled.
"Oh, right. Here it is." Kate wrote it on a piece of paper and handed it over to Rick.
"Cool. So, when does your shift end tomorrow?" He leaned a little closer to her.
"At 8 p.m. Why?"
"I want to see you again. What do you think if I pick you up after your shift?"
"Yeah, okay."
"Great! See you tomorrow then" Rick closed the distance between them and kissed Kate tenderly, running his hand through her hair making Kate shiver at the touch. This kiss had the effect on her as the previous two had…
"Until tomorrow." She said with a sweet smile and exited the car but she had hardly made two steps before Castle ran up to her and wound his arm around her waist.
"What are you…" She was surprised, to say the least.
"I want to walk you to the door." He winked. "To make sure you get home safe".
"You are unbelievable!" She laughed but was touched by this display of affection.
Once at the front door Castle leaned in and Kate closed her eyes in anticipation of another toe-curling kiss but instead he just pecked her on the cheek. All the disappointment of the world must have been written on her face because Rick laughed out loud and Kate huffed in irritation and smacked him on the chest.
"You are …" but before she could finish the sentence his lips were on hers and all the insults vanished from her mind.
"I am what?" He asked pulling away with a smirk.
"Ohhhh, you are horrible!" She said seriously but failed to hide a smile.
"But you like that about me, don't you?"
"In your dreams!"
"My dreams do come true!"
"See you tomorrow, Castle!" Kate said rolling her eyes and disappearing behind the door, leaving Rick standing there with a goofy smile on his face.
Closing the door behind her, Kate leaned against it and took a deep breath. Her heart was still racing wildly after the kiss and just the memory of it made her pulse quicken. "What the hell is going on with me?" No man ever had such an effect on her, and it was only the second time she saw him. Deep inside Kate knew that she was falling for him. Too quickly and too hard. But she wouldn't admit it even to herself.
She turned on the radio, put on her yoga pants and hoodie, removed the make-up and was about to crash on the couch to relax when her phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Hey!" Kate recognized the voice immediately.
"Rick? Is everything okay?"
"Totally fine, why?"
"Well, I thought I saw you outside my apartment like 10 minutes ago."
"I know. I just…no, this sounds silly."
"What exactly?"
"Um…I already miss you." Kate drew in a sharp breath. "And I'm still in the car in front of your building. But I know that if I see you right now I won't be able to leave again."
"It's not…silly." She considered what she was going to say next. "And you better go, cause if you come here now I won't find the strength to tell you to leave." There was a moment of silence between them, both were grasping the true meaning of their words.
"Okay. See you tomorrow, my lady."
"See you." Kate hung up and a few minutes later she realized she was still standing with the phone in her hand and the biggest smile on her face. Shaking her head at the situation she finally sat on the couch deep in her thoughts. "What am I doing? He is older and he has a daughter! But why cannot I resist him? I knew it yesterday, but now after his kisses it is impossible to stay away. Did he feel the same way today? What if he didn't? What if I'm just another girl for him? He is intoxicating. Why would someone like him be interested in a girl like me? He can have any woman he wants. Why me? It's so messed up. I just met him. Why do feel the way I do every time he touches me, he kisses me? I'm not in l…no, it's crazy. You cannot just spend a few hours with a man and fall in love. It's real life, not a movie. I cannot be in love. I'm just attracted to him. He's smart and good-looking and he constantly tries my patience and oooooh he's a great kisser. No, I'm not in love…but…no, no "but's"! This is stupid." Kate punched one of the couch cushions in frustration. Her head started throbbing because of these disturbing thoughts and she was about to turn off the radio and turn in when she involuntarily heard the lyrics of the song that was on.
…Why else do I want you like I do
If I'm not in love with you
"You got to be kidding me! Seriously?!" Kate huffed but couldn't bring herself to turn off the radio.
And if I don't need your touch
Why do I miss you so much, tonight
If it's just infatuation
Why is my heart aching
To hold you forever
Give a part of me I thought I'd never
Give again to someone I could lose
If I'm not in love with you
Oh why in every fantasy
Do I feel your arms embracing me
Like lovers lost in sweet desire
And why in dreams do I surrender
Like a little baby
How do I explain this feeling
Someone tell me
As if the lyrics were written about her. Kate could relate to every word and it certainly wasn't helping considering her uncertainty about Rick.
If I'm not in love with you
What is this I'm going through, tonight
And if this heart is lying then
What should I believe in
Why do I go crazy
Every time I think about you baby
Why else do I want you like I do
If I'm not in love with you
Another song started playing and Kate just stood there trying to put a finger on her confusing feelings. Some minutes later she finally headed for her bedroom and the second her head hit the pillow she fell into a deep sleep and the last thought in her head was "I'm not…in love with him".
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