Me: Hello readers, reviewers, loyal fans, and people who are reading because they having nothing else better to do! And for those wondering what special power Master Chief's Mark VI armor has, it's increased luck. Oh and beware, there are many long and confusing paragraphs in this chapter.
Grif: Dude, you talk too much.
Simmons: I wouldn't do that Grif. This guy can easily wipe you off the face of existence with his awesome author powers.
Sarge: Yeah, so don't… Actually, keep talkin' trash about 'im!
Donut: Hey look guys! I have new flower paintings on my nails! Wanna see them?
Everyone other than Donut: NOOOOO!!!!
Disclaimer: I don't own Halo, or Red vs. Blue. The day I own them is the day Beyonce Knowles goes out with me… Damn.
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A Shade of Red and Blue
Chapter 1: Arguing Brings Out Character
"WE'RE SPARTANS!!!???" The Blood Gulchers, excluding Church, exclaimed.
"Yes, you are the recruits of the Spartan V program," Miranda said.
Tucker looked back at Church, who was surprisingly calm at the news. "Why are you not freaking out about this?"
"Why should I? I already knew this through Tex," and as soon as Church said that, his eyes watered up. The thought of Tex dying was still fresh in his mind.
"Ah, yes, Agent Nebraska, aka Alison Tex, and carrier of AI Omega, of the Spartan IV program. I remember her, she was one of the superior Spartan IVs," Miranda nodded. "You used to be her boyfriend, am I correct?"
Church nodded solemnly.
"Spartan IVs? Spartan Vs? Last I heard, there were only three Spartan programs," the tall man in Mjolnir armor said in an almost robotic voice.
"There are only three Spartan programs, Chief. At least, only three that were successful," Miranda said. "Spartan programs IV and V are deep failures. It ended up with the Spartan IVs rebelling and the Spartan Vs becoming mentally troubled due to the conditions of the canyon, more specifically the heat and the lack of company and interesting events. We abandoned the Spartan V project right after we sent Rebecca Grif to the canyon."
"Wait a sec! So you mean we were left alone, with no support or anything, for almost a year! Added to the fact that we were never told of being part of the Spartan V program!?" Grif pointed a finger accusingly at the UNSC officer.
"I'm sorry, Private Grif, but we had to abandon you to concentrate our funds on finishing the Human-Covenant War," Miranda said with a guilty look. "We are here because humanity is at war again, but against a much more terrible race."
"I thought we were failures. Why would you want us?" Simmons stated.
"Because even though you are amateurs compared to Spartan IIs, IIIs, and IVs, you are still Spartans, still above the regular UNSC marine," Miranda nodded. "Plus, we need every man we can spare to fight our new enemy."
And before anyone could ask about who this new enemy was, someone interrupted them.
"Argh! Demon, help me release the transport's seat protection mechanism!" a deep voice said from inside the Pelican.
"Looks like the Ass-biter is having trouble with the seatbelt… Again," the man, now known to the group as the legendary Master Chief, said. The Spartan II stepped back onto the Pelican and several random noises were heard, including bells, honks, elephant trumpeting, and of course, crashes.
"Ow! You need not be so violent, Demon," the voice said as its owner stepped out, revealing itself to be the leader of the New Covenant, the Arbiter.
"ALIEN!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!" Donut screamed as he began running around wildly in circles.
"I see why the Spartan V program was a failure," one marine whispered to another. The other marine nodded with a scared look on his face.
"Why is the pink Demon running and blaring in a manner similar to that of a cowardly juvenile female?" the Arbiter asked as he continued to watch the pink-clad Spartan V scream like a little girl.
"Oh don't be freaked out, Donut always screams like a little girl when he sees something he doesn't like," Simmons said. "Like the time we looked at the screenshots of Sister naked when she was getting a physical from Doc."
"Woohoo!" Sister exclaimed.
Grif bashed the maroon Spartan with his battle rifle. "You pervert! Stay away from my sister!"
"Bow chicka bow wow!" Tucker nodded.
"Shut the hell up, Tucker! Next time you say that, you'll be getting a piece of my sniper rifle!" Church shouted at the teal-armored soldier.
"Up yours!" was his remark.
"Can I have it up mines?" Sister asked Tucker.
"Yeah, sure… Wait, what?" Tucker said. Then the half-African, half-Caucasian grinned perversely. "BOW CHICKA BOW WOW!!!"
"That's it!" the cobalt man slammed the butt of his sniper rifle onto his teammate's head. The Reds and Blues started fighting amongst one another. The matches were as follows: Grif vs. Simmons, Church vs. Tucker, Sister vs. Donut (they were arguing about who had better nails), and Sarge vs. Doc (Sarge was just wildly shooting at Doc's direction while the 'medic' ran around screaming like Donut had moments earlier).
Caboose, who was the only one not involved in the chaos, came up to Miranda and asked in his slow voice. "Do you have any orange juice?"
Miranda, Master Chief, the Arbiter, and the marines stared dumbfounded at the scene in front of them.
The Chief came up to Miranda and shook her shoulders. "Please, please tell me that you were joking when you said these insane people were Spartans!"
"Sadly, no," Miranda shook her head.
The Arbiter patted the Chief's back. "I feel sorry for you…"
"Thanks, Ass-biter."
"… WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!!??"
"I called you Ass-biter. Got a problem with that?"
"Oh, you're going down!"
"Why don't you put on some horseshoes and shut up?"
"Single-jaw!"
"Scaly-butt!"
"Fur-ball!"
"That's it, show me what you got you stinking Elite!"
"Bring it human!"
-
"Alright, so are you guys done?" Miranda asked the Spartans and Elite with a suspiciously sweet tone.
"Yes, ma'am," the super-soldiers and Sangheili said in unison. Whatever Miranda did earlier to them could have easily made Gravemind piss his pants. That is, if giant mutant plants wore pants… Or could piss.
"Good," the brown-haired woman nodded. "Now, let's all get on the Pelican. Other dropships will pick up your vehicles and possessions later."
"Ma'am! Yes, ma'am!" the soldiers saluted. The marines, Elite, and Spartans boarded the ship as it blasted off towards the UNSC frigate in orbit, the Window of Opportunities.
-
"Here are your quarters, Cpl. Church, Pvt. Tucker, Pvt. Caboose, Field Medic Dufresne," the ship's AI said as it guided most of the Blue and Red Team to a large room at the end of the hall. "And your quarters, Staff Sgt., Pvt. First Class Simmons, Pvt. Grif, are across the hall."
"You mean we 'ave to live right across the hall from the Blues!?" the leader of Red Team shouted at the AI.
"Yes," the AI said in the same dead tone.
"Wait, where's Sister?" Tucker asked.
-
Elsewhere, Sister opened the door to a room to find two other women in the room already. One of them, with orange hair, green eyes, and tanned skin, waved at her and stood up to greet the new arrival. The other, a woman with black glossy hair, blue eyes, and pale skin, just grunted at her.
"Hi there!" the orange-haired woman said with a New Yorker accent. She motioned to herself and the other woman. "I'm Jenny, and this is Ashley. You must be our new roommate! Why don't we get you out of that armor and get you into something cozy?"
Sister gladly stepped into the dorm, unlatching her helmet, and beginning to struggle in taking it off. "I'm Rebecca Grif, but everyone calls me Sister."
"Awesome, I've never had a sister!" Jenny exclaimed as she helped the blonde take off her yellow Mjolnir helmet. "Now you can become something like it!"
-
The males of Blue Team, unarmored and in their resting clothes (a gray undershirt and a pair of black slacks), relaxed in their new dorm room.
"You know, this isn't too bad," Tucker sighed in pleasure as he laid down on his bed. "That suit was beginning to itch in places you wouldn't want to know."
"Tucker, keep that sort of stuff to yourself," Church retorted as he threw a candy bar wrapper into the garbage can.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. As long as I get to rest a bit…," and as soon as he said that, the ship's AI appeared.
"All Spartan Vs please report to the main bridge."
"… I fucking hate my life," Tucker banged his head on the wall.
"Just shut up and put on your navy uniform."
"Son of a bitch…"
-
The Spartans, both II and Vs, and the Arbiter stood at attention in the control room of the Window of Opportunities.
"Spartans, Sangheili, you are here to be briefed about our new enemy," Miranda said. She took a deep breath. "The Lunaris, of the moon-planet of Lunaro."
"Lunaris? The Sangheili have heard of this race. Last time we encountered them, they were barbaric tribes wandering their moon, using primitive weapons made of rocks," Arbiter said.
"Yes, but how long ago did the Sangheili encounter the Lunaris?" Miranda asked.
"Approximately 5000 Earth years."
"They have changed over that time. It seems that after the Elites encountered them, another race stumbled upon Lunaro. It was a race of amphibious beings called the Kylonites. The Sangheili Archivists were gracious enough to give us information on this race," Miranda said. She tapped a button on a console. Then a hologram appeared on a nearby table.
The figure on the table was approximately five feet tall, with bluish skin. A pair of gills was visible on its neck. It had a fish-like face, with fins stretching from its cheeks and the back of its neck. It wore a navy blue helmet on the top of its head. The helmet was shaped a lot like a clam shell, except a red transparent visor came down from the front and covered the Kylonite's eyes. It had webbed feet and hands, the latter of which had razor-like claws on its three fingers. The Kylonite wore a black jumpsuit, with a blue stripe going down its back. It was grasping a weapon that looked a lot like a Needler, except made of a coral-like substance.
"Man, that's one ugly fish," Grif commented. Sarge smacked the back of his head.
"This 'ugly fish' is a Kylonite," Miranda said. "The Kylonites are a Class-D, Type-L, race."
"Class? Type? Since when did we organize other species like that?" Simmons asked.
"Since we adopted the Covenant race-classifying system. It has proved to be effective to rate other races' power," Master Chief said in his robotic voice.
"Then what are we?" Tucker asked.
"Humanity is a Class-C, Type-Pr/E race," Arbiter said.
"Oh. What does that mean?" Tucker scratched his head in confusion.
"Class-C means we have long-distance space travel drives and limited warp-space navigation. Type-Pr/E means we use projectile and energy weapons," Miranda explained.
"And what about the Kylonites?" Church asked.
"Class-E means they have mid-distance space travel drives and booster engines. Type-L means they use laser-based weaponry," Arbiter yet again explained.
"Anyways, the Kylonites felt pity for the barbaric Lunaris, and let the Lunaris copy some of the Kylonite's technology. Things backfired quickly. The Lunaris improved the Kylonite's weaponry, making them a Type-I race, which means they use ion weaponry. The Lunaris quickly invaded the few habitable worlds under Kylonite space, killing and killing and leaving no survivors. Soon only the Kylonite homeworld of Marinas-Kylo was left. The Kylonites fortunately bought enough time to contact their allies, a Class-A, Type-Pl race called the Solarus. But by the time the Solarus fleets had arrived, the Lunaris juggernaut had become a Class-A, Type-I race. You see, Spartans, the Solarus were almost the polar opposites of the Lunaris. They evolved near their star, making them very heat resistant, so therefore making them very suitable to using plasma weaponry, one of the more advanced types of warfare. The Lunaris however evolved on a moon which is behind a gas giant for more than half of their year, making them able to operate in extreme cold. They fought to a standstill, eventually making a temporary ceasefire about 500 years ago," Miranda said. She hesitated for a second.
Then she resumed with a burning a passion. "Just two months ago was when the Lunaris chose to make themselves known to the New Covenant. They attacked the system where the Unngoy (Grunt) homeworld resides with a small fleet of 25 ships. It took 10 UNSC ships, 15 Sangheili ships, and the entire Unngoy main fleet to hold them back. The majority of the Unngoy fleet, which numbered 100 ships, was the price to destroy the Lunaris fleet. This is obviously this is a testament to the Lunaris' power. They are challenging us to fight them. Not soon after, they attacked the Sangheili homeworld of Sanghelios with a fleet of 50."
The Arbiter growled at that part. Miranda continued. "Luckily, we had reinforced the security in the system. 30 Kig-yar (Jackal) ships, renowned for their speedy attacks, surprised the Lunaris, miraculously destroying half of their fleet. The Sangheili Imperial Fleet managed to eliminate the rest. The New Covenant are now at war with the Lunaris. So this is why we need your help Spartans."
Church took a deep breath. "We the soldiers of Blood Gulch will stand by Earth to the very end."
Sarge nodded. "Yeah! No moon-livin' bastards will ever step foot on Earth and her colonies while we're still walkin'."
Master Chief nodded approvingly. Miranda smiled so genuinely and widely, her teeth shined like stars. The Arbiter clicked his mandibles, mentally complimenting Humanity's latest heroes.
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Me: Now for all of you confused about this system I made up, I have a diagram here…
Classes:
S – Instant teleportation warp-engines and extreme long-distance drives (Forerunners)
A – Extreme long-distance drives and precise warp-space navigation (Lunaris, Solarus)
B – Long distance drives and average warp-space navigation (Sangheili, Kig-Yar)
C – Long distance drives and limited warp-space navigation (Humanity)
D – Mid distance drives and limited warp-space navigation (Kylonites)
E – Mid distance drives (Unngoy)
F – Short distance drives (Humanity in 20th and 21st century)
Types:
Pl – Plasma weaponry, i.e. Fuel Rod weapons, Plasma Pistols/Rifles/Grenades (Solarus, Sangheili, Kig-Yar, Lekgolo)
Pr – Projectile weaponry, i.e. Needlers, Bullet weapons, Missile weapons (Unngoy, Humanity)
E – Energy weaponry, i.e. EMP, MAC rounds, Nuclear weapons (Humanity)
L – Laser weaponry, i.e. Spartan Laser, Shredder weapons (Forerunners, Kylonites)
I – Ion weaponry, i.e. Ion cannons, Gravity weapons (Lunaris, Brutes)
C – Chemical weaponry, i.e. Poison gases, Biological weapons (Flood)
Grif: Dude, would you shut up?
Sarge: Would you shut yer stinkin' oreo-smellin' yap!?
Simmons: Excellent burn, sir.
Sarge: Why thank you Simmons.
Red Team and Me: Review Please!