Title: Five Ways in Which Dean Winchester Pwned Harvey Specter

Author: Sunshineditty

Fandom: Suits crossed with Supernatural AU

Word count: 2,087

Rating: T for now

A/N: I took some liberties with one of the characters' names (you'll see when you read) because I couldn't find any indication we were ever given a surname, so I made it up. Thanks for everyone's comments/favorites/follows for this wacky story.

II.

Donna Paulsen was a titian-haired goddess.

It's true because everyone who ever met the diabolically witty and evilly organized woman usually ended up on their knees prostrate before her, worshiping at her altar in hopes of sipping from the font of her wisdom. It was a hard job, but someone needed to fill the position, so Donna decided to grace mere mortals with her presence; and in exchange, she expected instant obedience to her whims, lots of shiny objects, and constant updates to any and all gossip floating through the law building (she controlled all levels of communication because how else was she to awe her disciples with her knowledge and foresight?)

So she knew about the uncommonly flustered encounter with the mysteriously ill-suited but gorgeous man in the elevator, followed by Harvey stalking to Jessica's office after said man, actually showing emotion during his duration in there (though to be fair, he did have everyone trained to believe he was the prototype for the original T-800 cyborg so merely lifting an eyebrow provoked mass hysteria), and stomping out of said office a while later, before her boss was even two steps down the hall. Donna was grateful one of her lesser powers was the ability to predict the behavior of one Harvey Specter, so by the time he blew by her desk, his freshly made coffee and a banana nut muffin sat in its usual place, along with the stack of today's mail. His carefully vetted mail, which revealed the presence of another hate-filled letter, similar to the likes which originally sent her to Jessica in the first place. She interpreted his "Donna," as the "thanks for being awesome per usual" it was.

"Morning, sweetheart."

Donna's eyes didn't raise above the level of her monitor as she swiftly typed in commands to send forth the Kraken (i.e. carefully worded emails she drafted to certain members in the firm who could help her keep a discrete eye on Harvey), so she merely raised her right index finger to remind her unannounced guest that a) she was more important and b) he was a lesser being in front of the Administrative Assistant Goddess and could wait his damn turn.

The soft wet heat surrounding the fingertip startled her out of her ignoring the lesser beings routine (there's a reason why she and Harvey got on well after all) and she unwittingly succumbed to what was known in other quarters as the Winchester Sneak Attack by raising her eyes to his level. The sinfully red mouth gently sucking on her upraised digit was one she suddenly had an urge to write filthy love sonnets about, already composing odes to the writhing soft tongue lapping at her sensitive skin. The slick slide of his lips was fascinating and so compelling, she didn't realize she was half out of her chair in an attempt to recapture that hallowed bit of heaven until she heard the unmistakable creak.

Pale cheeks bloomed a becoming pink as Donna realized her tattered dignity, thankful no one had witnessed her shameful lapse (well beside Harvey, but he didn't really count since he knew better than to cross her majestic rage) and dropped back.

"You must be Donna. My love is a fever, longing still for that which longer nurseth the disease, feeding on that which doth preserve the ill, th'uncertain sickly appetite to please...for I have sworn thee fair, and thought thee bright, who art as black as hell, as dark as night."

"You're the suit..."

The universe sucked in its breath as the usually unflappable, determinedly infallible Donna Paulsen verbally stumbled and her mind emptied of all knowledge or thought except how much she wanted to lay this waste to this delectable dark golden haired man, ravage and pillage his villages until he yielded all treasure to her rampaging horde.

"Et tu, Donna. Et tu?"

Harvey's cold voice echoing across the intercom momentarily slapped her from her stupor, at least until she drew in a breath, smelling the stranger's spicy cologne, and began yearning for more of his magical touch.

"You...me...yes...I'm Donna?" Hell, she'd be anyone he wanted her to be. Forever. Without regret.

The lips folded into a delectable and utterly captivating smile, which nearly pulled her back under, until the sounds those luscious pillows of shameless love shaped took form in her shattered mind.

"I'm Dean Winchester and I have some questions for you."

The name echoed in the vastness of her incoherent brain until some niggling sense of duty reoriented her and brought her back online as if she were a computer being rebooted. Once the process was completed, she had searched and found the mental file deep within the catalog of any and all strange persons found within in her dominion (she graciously allowed Jessica and Harvey to carve out small principalities because she loved and respected them both dearly); Dean Winchester had come to her attention years before from a passing comment made by Jessica regarding her cousin Cassie, who was dating him at the time. It had stuck with her mostly because his last name wasn't common (at least in the States – she wondered if he had English relatives because holy Jesus there were a lot of them across the pond) and Jessica wasn't normally so mama bear protective over her admittedly kick ass relative. She'd done cursory research on him and found him absurdly easy since he was listed under "Winchester and Sons Detective Agency."

"Are you here to figure out who Harvey's creepy creeper is?"

"That would be my goal, and something tells me, you're the person to have on my side."

The small benignet and tall coffee that suddenly appeared on her desk didn't hurt his cause either. She was thoroughly embarrassed by her uncharacteristic lapse of decorum earlier, so she resisted the urge to grab the hole-less doughnut and shove it in her mouth. Her hands didn't tremble at all as she reached out and sedately placed the items close to her phone, and resolutely ignored them. It wouldn't do to show any more weakness here than already noted.

Adjusting the fit of her gold necklace, somehow askew, and smoothing down the silk material of her black dress, Donna pulled herself together and returned to the gimlet-eyed professional she usually was.

"You may speak with me further."

Keeping her eyes firmly locked on his eyes (god the green was incredibly gorgeous and his hair looked so velvety soft it was unfair), she raised one dark red eyebrow in demand. For the first time ever she appreciated the struggles men had with keeping their gaze above the neckline – she was having her own troubles because Dean's mouth was a siren call to touch and sight. And given Harvey's predilection for golden boys (see Mike as evidence A, your Honor), it wasn't hard to understand what exactly about this one disturbed her normally ice-cold boss (and it wasn't just about the suit, though admittedly part of it was about the suit).

"You truly are a goddess among women," Dean flirted, before a more serious expression settled onto his face. "Has he received any more threatening letters? Maybe one you tucked away before giving him the day's mail?"

Donna silently slid the heavy cream envelope from under her keyboard and handed it over. There were measures she could take, but Harvey wasn't the most cautious of men, and really had no fear of anything or anyone because he had unshakeable confidence in his bull shitting abilities, but this...this was different. The malice and forethought (did Harvey really think she didn't know about the video? Please.) the stalker had taken was chilling. He'd been targeted by wackos before, especially when he was still an ADA, but never to this degree and so personally too.

She couldn't explain it coherently if someone had asked her to clarify, other than to point to her gut, but there was no way this wasn't motivated by a very intimate hatred and grudge against Harvey as a person, more so than a lawyer, though there was plenty of reasons there too.

"Something you wanna share with the class, sweetheart?" The envelope had disappeared into his inner breast pocket, but he still stood there, leaning. It should've looked corny, but somehow he just made it look hot.

The low husky tone was more suited for the bedroom than an office, much less Pearson Hardman (oh god, the images being brought to mind by that name) and she desperately wanted to capitalize on the promises he seemed to be making, but intellectually she knew it just an angle; he was using all the weapons at his disposal to do his job, which she could respect since she did it herself all the time.

She shrugged, her hair sweeping lightly over her shoulders at the movement.

"I think you need to talk to Mike Ross, Harvey's associate. Ask him about his ex-best friend and roommate. Ray, Harvey's driver, is another possible source as he might've seen or heard something. Oh, and don't forget about Rene Lefebvre, Harvey's tailor. That man has contacts even I don't. I will probably have to call in a marker to get your foot in the door, but Harvey's worth it."

"Oh, I already have an appointment with Rene later today."

Donna's mouth dropped open in absolute and utter shock. This was a morning for the damn world to end as she knew it! No one just had an appointment with Rene – Harvey was probably the only person in New York who could reasonably expect the tailor to clear his schedule for an impromptu visit, whereas everyone else was relegated to waiting for months before they could be seen.

"How? What? When?"

Dean grinned again (though had he ever really lost the smile?) and reached over the divide to gently tip her chin so her mouth closed.

"I have my ways."

"Okay, that's the last straw! Get your hands off her!"

Both of them turned to see a heavily-breathing, clearly irate Harvey stomping over to defend Donna's honor. But before she could say anything, Dean leaned away from her, his grin widening into a smirk.

"Don't worry, dude. I promise from now on, I'll only touch you."

How the sprinkler system didn't erupt to douse the fire going on in Dean's expression as he checked out Harvey was something Donna would never understand. The flirtation she'd been exposed to was mild sauce compared to the four alarm hotness exploding between the two men now. She shivered a little, unable to be miffed at how Dean seemed to prefer her boss to her own incredible femininity simply because the idea of these two naked (sure Harvey was her friend but she could still objectively think about his curb appeal), writhing across a bed together (what about Mike? Oh god, now she really needed to fan herself at the idea of what these two deviants would love to do to him) more than made up for any slight. Dean Winchester apparently swung both ways, or in certain ways on certain days, but either way, he was sex on bowed legs.

"That's not...you're...I'm...don't call me dude."

Harvey stomped back into his office, slamming the door so hard the glass walls rippled, leaving behind a bemused assistant and a smug detective.

"That was interesting."

"He's fun. This case is broadening my horizons with each minute."

Donna gave him her best Persian cat mocking expression and had to smother the laugh that threatening to escape as he just winked and strolled away.

Rachael who was walking towards Donna's desk for some purpose nearly tripped into the wall as she checked out Dean's ass.

"Who's that ?"

"Oh honey, don't even try. He's wayyyy out of your league. Hell, he's out of my league. He doesn't even play in the same stratosphere."

And with that stunning pronouncement, Donna returned to her emails, ignoring the choking sounds issuing from her paralegal friend.

tbc