AN// I dont own anything, I wish I did...
"Collins, how is she?" Mimi asked Collins in a hushed voice, as Angel was sleeping.
"Not good." Collins replied his voice full of regret.
"How long?"
"A few more days, they say."
"Oh." Mimi replied.
Angel stirred.
"How long has she been sleeping?"
"9 hours."
"How longs it been since you slept?"
"A few days." Collins replied, rubbing his eyes.
Angel sat up and coughed and again. This started her in a coughing fit. She lay shakily back on her bed and Collins rubbed her back while Mimi got her a water.
"Thanks." Angel said, in a ruff voice.
"That's kay." Mimi said.
"You know what I miss most about home."
"What?" Collins and Mimi said in unison.
"My shoes, drumming, eating what I want, running and seeing you guys all the time." Angel said, laughing, a hollow laugh. She was scared.
"Aww Ang. We all miss you being around to." Mimi said. "You know, Mo and Jo are fighting even worse without you around."
"Your making me feel bad for getting sick." Angel joked.
They all tried to laugh, to relieve the tension, but all that came out was a fake imitation of a laugh that died quickly.
"Well, I have to go… to work." Mimi reluctantly admitted.
"Quit, I love you, bye Mimi chica."
"Bye Angel baby, Collins."
A few days later…
Angel was lying in Collins' lap and shivering violently. She had gotten weaker over the past few days.
"Collins, I love you…" she said and shut her eyes, sleeping.
"I love you to baby."
Angel heart beat was slowing, her breathing becoming shallow. Collins wanted to get the nurse, to call her, to get her to make Angel better. But somehow he knew, he knew she couldn't make her better this time and he knew that Angel had suffered long enough.
In her sleep Angel gave Collins' hand one last squeeze and then Collins kissed her one last time, her heart slowed to a stop and Collins' couldn't move, couldn't move away from his love, she was dead, but maybe, just maybe, if he didn't move he would find out he was dreaming and wake to find her in her normal clothes happy and bouncy as always, if he moved that would somehow make it real. Hours passed, he couldn't admit to himself that she was gone.
The nurse came in, she asked him if he would like to make a call in her small voice. He nodded, she moved Angel gently and he got up. His knees felt strange, his head felt detached from his body, he felt numb as he walked to the phone. He picked it up and dialled Maureen's number.
"Hello?" A groggy Maureen answered.
Collins couldn't tell her, he couldn't say it. It would all come crashing down on him, all the grief the emotion, he needed to be strong, at least until after the funeral.
"Hospital." Was all he said.
"Oh, baby, I'm coming." And Maureen was on her way.
Collins sat on a hard waiting room couch and waited, he waited for Maureen, for the nurse to tell him to go away, for the nurse to tell him it was alright and she was fine, but, nothing happened.
The next thing he knew he was at the loft on the couch, he didn't know how he got there he vaguely remembered walking, but couldn't be sure.
Then he thought, maybe he was dreaming, maybe Angel was in the kitchen getting a drink. He saw Mimi's expression and all hopes vanished.
"She's really gone." Collins said.
Mimi broke down in tears.
No one dared move, no one wanted to speak, but someone had to brake the silence.
"So what about a funeral, what would she have wanted?" Joanne asked, looking, by far, the strongest of them all.
"Oh!" Mimi nearly shouted. "I forgot this…" And with the she pulled out the letter and handed it to Collins, who read it in his head first, then out loud.
After he read the letter, Mimi cried, a single tear slipped down Collins' face and Maureen buried her face in Collins' shoulder. Roger and Mark were blank.
"How the fuck are we supposed to be happy?" Roger asked, turning his grief into anger, same as when April died.
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