"who's there? tomatoes. tomatoes who? i love ketchup from my head tomatoes."

You slapped your hands quickly to your mouth. Someone was here? Someone was behind the door? You nearly jumped out of your skin when you heard their deep, baritone voice. You had to quickly silence yourself before you let out either a cry of surprise or a chuckle from how cheesy the knock knock joke was. You decided to keep listening to their act.

"knock knock. who's there? orange. orange who? orange you glad these are funny jokes?"

Oh good gracious, he was good.

You sat and listened to this mysterious voice continue on with his horrible yet amazing jokes. You enjoyed every single one of them. You were nearly on the brink of giggling when he started to begin yet another joke and you quickly cut in before he had the chance to.

"Knock knock," you smiled, now fully pressed against the cold door in excitement.

A long pause followed, making you nervously bite your lip. Oh god, did you ruin it? You ruined it. You should have never opened your big mouth! You should have just stayed quiet like always and liste –

"who's there?"

You instantly sighed a breath of relief. Oh thank god. "Boo."

"boo who?"

"Aw, don't cry! I'm here if you want to talk," you began giggling, cupping a hand over your mouth. It was oddly appealing to meet another person, especially one who told jokes. You were even happier in this situation because the person couldn't see you. That was good. They probably would hate your looks, anyways.

"aha, that's a good one, kid!" the deep voice was chuckling on the other side. You could even hear the smile in his voice. Did he really like it that much? It honestly wasn't that good. Maybe he was just being polite.

"R-really? Ah, not that I'm calling you a liar or anything! But I was just thinking it wasn't – I mean it's not really – oh, geez just stop talking," you couldn't believe you even opened your mouth. Groaning, you began thumping your head against the stone door. God you are so awful.

"no, wait!" the voice called out, almost desperately. "don't stop talking. please?"

You didn't understand. You ceased banging your head and instead pressed it closer to the door, pulling your knees up towards your breasts and wrapping your arms around them. "Wh…why?"

Instead of answering you, the mysterious voice let out a strung out sigh. "knock knock."

"…Who's there?"

"bonely."

"Bonely… bonely who?"

"the bonely skeleton wants someone to chat with…"

The air was silent. Neither of you made a sound. If a pin dropped at that very moment, it would have sounded like an explosion. "…I do, too.."

The person behind the door released a relieved laugh as if a whole boulder rolled off his back. Was he really that lonely? "thanks, kid."

"Don't mention it."

"….heh …"

You coughed. This was… a little awkward. Yet even as it was, you were still grateful for the man's friendly presence. "So ….what did the skeleton waiter say when he dropped off the food?"

He seemed to be thrilled at the small change of subject you pulled out of the air. "i dunno. what?"

"Bone appetite."

The man muttered something before chuckling. You couldn't make out whatever he said, but his next words made you shudder. "hey kid, what kind of monster are ya?"

Oh shit. Oh no. What are you going to tell him? That you're a Human – the same species that locked his away from the rest of the world? He would absolutely hate you! You had to think of something, and fast. "I'm, uh… I'm a Froggit…. ribbit, ribbit."

"oh, is that so, huh?"

"Yep, totally!… ribbit, ribbit."

"'cause everybody knows how much froggits hate humor."

You literally sweat dropped. Shit. How could you freaking forget?! Every Froggit, even your one little friend Froggit, despised every joke you shared. At first, you were scared that you completely wrecked your friendships with the frogs, but you were redeemed when you simply complimented them. But apparently this guy knew the real deal.

"so," he casually raveled on, also probably sensing how fucked you feel and apparently enjoying it, "you're not a froggit… and there's no way you're a whimsun: you may be all cute and shy, but you're too funny and hadn't ran away from me yet."

"H-H-How, what?" You were blushing like crazy. He just called you cute and yet he can't even see your disgustingness. "I'm n-n-not cute, mister funny stranger guy. Trust me on this."

"now how can i trust you on that when you lied about being a froggit?"

"I, uh –"

"are you even a monster?"

"…" At this point you were on the brink of tears. He knows. He knows. And he hates you. Of course he does. How could he not? You felt so horrible. You felt so vile.

"kid? hey, kid –"

"I have to go," you blurted, shooting up on your shaking legs. You felt so sick to your stomach.

"no, wait! i –"

"I'm so sorry," you began walking as quickly as you could away from the door. You were so stupid to think this complete stranger would like you even the slightest bit.

"i'm okay with you being a human!"

You stopped dead in your tracks. You glanced over your shoulder to the door, as if you could see the person who pleaded you to stay. You dared not to make any sound.

"it's …it's okay, kid," he sighed. A slight rattling sound echoed from the door, as if he just thunked himself against the other side. "i don't care what race you are."

You turned your body completely towards the door. "…Are… Are you serious?"

"as a heart attack."

It took you a full minute before you decided to slowly walk back to the large door. You ever so slowly sat down in front of it with a light flop, crossing your chubby legs.

You cleared your throat. "I, uh… my name is _."

A light clank sounded from the other side.

"nice name. i'm sans. sans the skeleton."