"Frank, what's today's date."

"May 17th, same as it's been all morning. Only happens once a year."

Kerry frowned, "Ah, right, I... I need something upstairs, if you need me, page me."

Kim appeared at the desk. "Kerry..."

"Not now Kim..."

"Kerry, I've got a hypertensive social worker, probably just stress, but you should check it out." Kim barely looked at Kerry, she could already predict what the red head was going to say, it was written all over Kerry's face.

"Okay, thanks."

Kim started to walk off, but after a step, changed her mind, and decided to take away the pink elephant in the room. Kerry was studying the chart much more intensely than she should have been. Kim pinned the ER Chief's head with her best 'don't screw with me' look and bit the bullet. "I read your letter."

This got Kerry to glance up, "Good, I was wondering."

Frank spoke from behind Kerry, "Doctor Legaspi, Doctor Romano line three for you."

Kerry could still almost see Kim's mind preparing the brush off for her as the blonde psychiatrist spoke to Frank, "Tell him I'll call him back." Kim looked back down, but couldn't quite meet Kerry's eyes, "Anyway, I read your letter, I appreciate the sentiment..."

Kerry seemed to choke on the word, she could even tell you the definition: A thought, view, or attitude, especially one based mainly on emotion instead of reason, "Sentiment."

It was like a bad dream, it was happening again. She moved her crutch and pushed down on her foot as hard as she could, but managed not to yelp in pain. She wasn't dreaming.

Frank spoke above Kerry's voice, "He says for you to get your ass on the line now he needs to talk to you about a transfer."

Kerry turned to her side, "Frank, she's busy, he should be too, we could have as many as eight GSW's going up."

Chuny spoke up, "Nine, carjack victim."

"Okay, we're swamped with this, tell them to divert to Mercy."

"Mercy said no ETA's under ten."

Kerry's jaw worked, "Why do they bother calling?" She was being pissed at Mercy, at Frank, at Chuny so that she wouldn't be pissed at Kim and herself. She knew this, Kim knew this, the guy waiting in curtain four probably knew it too, but even though apparently she was doing it for the second time, she couldn't stop.

She took a breath and calmed her breathing as Kim spoke again, "Um, anyway, thank you, um, but I don't think that anything's..." Kim seemed to take a resigned breath, "...changed."

The moment seemed to stretch for Kerry. The words were like a knife cut to her soul, Kim was dumping her, again, sort of. It hurt, she had poured her feelings into that letter and, sentiment, nothing's changed. "Right, okay." She swallowed, an uncomfortable smile on her face. It happened again, and she hadn't been able to come up with anything new. What was going on, why the hell was it today, again.

Kim took a step back from the desk, "Okay, I should get back."

"Yeah..." She stood there a moment, and then closed her eyes. "Hell... I don't want to be Bill Murray." She watched everything unfold as it had before. She wasn't going to do it again though. No, she'd... go up, do something, anything... she couldn't go through the heartbreak again.

"Doctor Weaver..."

Kerry turned and put a hand in front of her, "Abby, I love you like a sister, you're a great nurse, caring, helpful, and smarter than the average one."

Chuny gave a, "Hey."

"I can't deal with this now, okay, I have to... do something."

"Doctor Weaver..."

Kerry made two fists and whirled to face Frank, "You're a homophobe, you're a bigot, and for the love of Mike, you're not even a good desk clerk. So, unless the building is burning down, I am going to go somewhere and be alone. Wait until this day starts again..."

She stormed off, muttering, "I always have to be the boss, I have to be the bitch, I have to be this, I have to be that..." She took off her stethoscope and hurled it at a wall, "Screw it." She ripped off her coat and flung it against the window of the ambulance bay doors. "Screw it all."

She plowed through the doors and into the ambulance bay. Someone tried to get her attention, but she ignored them, her final destination was Doc Magoos. She entered and sat down at the bar, "Pretend I'm five, give me something with lots of fat, lots of grease, and perhaps something that could kill me before I walk out of here... then give me the biggest chocolate shake you've ever seen, and finish me off with some sort of pie, a whole pie, the... whole... damn... thing."

The guy behind the counter frowned as he started writing down her order, "You okay Doc? Usually you're restrained when you come in here... not too much, no fat, nothing that could be considered bad for you..."

Kerry snorted, "You mean nothing that tastes anything like real food. Well, let's just say I'm feeling invincible and just a bit immature this afternoon."

He looked over her shoulder, "Uh, isn't your ER kinda getting a bit full."

Kerry shrugged as the chocolate shake was put down in front of her, "There's always tomorrow... today, I play hooky... hmm..." A small smile came to her face, "That gives me an idea."

oOOOOo

Romano was working on one of the gun shot victims, and Kerry was pretty sure that it was still before he would fire Kim. She walked into the operating room and there were a chorus of heys. "You are not sterile Kerry, get out of my OR, now."

Kerry ignored him and walked over and stood right behind him. She tilted her head one way, and then the other, and then in one smooth movement reached down under his scrub pants and yanked as hard as she could. He jumped, loosing his surgical instruments inside the patient he was working on. "Kerry..." He groaned.

Kerry made a hmm noise, "Boxer man, I thought that you would have been briefs..." and walked out of the OR without a care in the world.