Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: I never really watched The O.C. I said that the story takes place about two years after the bonfire. I wasn't sure how old they were, but since they could drive, I guessed 16. I know that Alex was 17, but that's the only definite. So this would be their senior year. Sorry if the timeline is off.

Alex was wiping a glass when she remembered her dream, a dream that was no stranger to her subconscious. In reality, she had stayed. Marissa had convinced her that she wanted the relationship, that she wanted her. Yet, her dreams kept giving her a different outcome. Given the numerous times she's had that particular dream, she couldn't help but wonder if it were some sort of sign. Add the status of their relationship now; the idea did seem so farfetched.

Despite Marissa's playful behavior earlier, Alex knew that moments like that were rare. Things were great for the first year after the night of the bonfire. Marissa continued to live with her. She had told the brunette that if she wanted to go back home, she'd understand. Marissa was used to the more luxurious side of life-the side that Alex couldn't give her. Still, Marissa wanted to stay. Despite her mom's threats, she didn't think her mom would actually follow through on them. If her mom did, then she'd just raise hell. However, Marissa had seemed to be right about her mom. So Marissa still had her money, even offered to pay her share. Alex declined the offer. She wanted Marissa's life to be as much the same as if she were living at home as possible. Everything should've been fine. Things never work out like they are supposed to though.

Marissa still hung out with Ryan-something the blonde had to learn to deal with. Ryan was her first love. He'd always have a place in her heart, just like Jodie would in hers. Relationship or no, they were still friends, and Alex had no right to tell Marissa who she could be friends with. After all, she was still friends with Jodie. It didn't happen right away, but eventually they were able to restore their friendship. She was grateful for that. So while she wasn't completely fond of it, Alex still encouraged Marissa to continue her friendship with Ryan. She had to learn to trust Marissa. Otherwise their relationship would never last.

Surprisingly enough, Ryan wasn't really a problem for them. Somewhere along the way, Marissa changed. She didn't hang or with Ryan as much. That should've made the blonde happier, but it didn't. She started to stay out late longer, even on school nights. Granted Marissa skipped school a lot in the beginning of their relationship, Alex made her promise to put an end to that. Her grades were still up, but it was mostly the result of last minute cram sessions. Alex always helped her with those. A lot of the subjects were out of her league, but she helped anyway, even if it meant she wouldn't be able to rest before she had to go back to work.

She also started hanging out with a different crew. At first, she still hung with Summer, but now her time was more spent with her new friends. More specifically, it was spent was some guy named Volchok. Alex wasn't sure how the two met. When she asked Marissa, she would just give some vague answer. She'd seen him a few times when he stopped by the Bait Shop, but they've never really been introduced. All she knew was that she didn't like him. She even preferred Ryan over him.

Alex rarely ever saw Marissa anymore. Before, she'd come by the club to visit for an hour or so whenever she could. She'd set her alarm to wake up when Alex got home so that they could spend some time together before it was time to go to school. She was seldom affectionate these days. The blonde couldn't even remember the last time she heard her say "I love you" to her. A part of her feared she didn't feel the same way anymore. However, Marissa was always able to convince her that she did still love the blonde. While Alex let herself believe her words, something always prevented her from believing it whole-heartedly.

There were a lot of other little things. Their fights increased. Their sex life was pretty much non-existent. Single people had more sex than she did. She went to bed alone more times than she did when she wasn't seeing anyone. Still, there were moments-moments like this morning. Moments when Marissa was her old self again. Moments when it felt like she cared. They were enough to tie Alex over until she was blessed with another moment. They were enough for now.

"Alex!"

The blonde was snapped out her thoughts when she heard someone scream her name. "A little louder, Seth. I don't think the rest of California heard you."

"I've been calling your name for last five minutes," replied Seth. "Wipe that glass any longer, and it's going to have a hole in it."

Alex realized that was indeed still wiping the same glass. She stopped her actions. "What are you doing here, Seth?"

"I had a free period, so I thought I'd pay my favorite bartender a visit."

"Lucky me," answered the blonde sarcastically.

"Hey! I'm hurt."

"Yea, yea. Too bad my girlfriend doesn't want to spend any time with me." She said the last part quietly, but Seth still heard it.

"Alex…."

"Seth, please don't start." The fact that hers and Marissa's relationship was on shaky ground wasn't exactly a secret. Still, the last thing she needed was Seth, or anyone else, lecturing to her.

"It's just….," Seth searched for his words carefully, "I wouldn't put up with it if Summer treated me the way Marissa treats you."

"Please!" replied the blonde. "You'd put up with it and so much more. You worship the ground she walks on."

"True," agreed Seth, "but she wouldn't treat me that way. She loves me."

This infuriated the blonde. It was bad enough that she had doubts about Marissa's feelings. She didn't need anyone else adding to it. "Look-just because our relationship isn't perfect like yours doesn't mean she doesn't love me. So we're having problems. So we have fights. It doesn't mean anything!"

"Alex, I'm just trying-"

"Just leave Seth!"

He sighed in defeat. He hadn't meant to anger Alex. He was just trying to help. He couldn't stand the way Marissa was treating her. Still, he knew behind Alex's anger was fear. He'd be scared too if he thought Summer no longer loved him, no longer wanted to be with him. He risked placing a hand on her shoulder. "I'm here for you. I'm your friend too." With that, he turned around and left.

Alex watched him leave. She felt bad for blowing up at him. She just wasn't ready to face the truth yet.

She went to bed that night alone….again.