I don't think I'd ever seen so much concern on William's face. He wasn't normally interested in my relationships.. Bad breakups are really bad for your system, ya know? They make you depressed and kill your moods. And I'm not normally one for relationships… But you don't want to know about that, do you?

Maybe, maybe not. You see, there's a girl in the main office, her name was Becky. Real sweet, a charmer, and hot body. I say that because it was true. And really, it's because of this girl that everything happened. It wasn't fair. She was one of the very lucky girls that got to be with me… or maybe I was lucky to be with her… But she ripped me apart.

Said I wasn't 'Reliable' and always 'Hitting on other women' and wasn't ready for a 'commitment'. How can I be when I'm busy and always trying to avoid overtime. It was crushing. Almost soul crushing. I tried to wave it by like all the other crushes, but we'd been dating for almost a year, so it didn't work.

I don't normally go out to drink. Not really. I like to party, but getting me drunk doesn't let me remember exactly what happened. And if anything happened that I would get overtime for…I wouldn't be very happy. I mean, no one likes overtime…

But this girl. She was THE exception. The reason I went out every night for a week and got drunk off of vodka and whiskey and sake. Not sure WHY a shinigami bar has those, but they do. They're not exactly the most normal of shinigami.. but that's not the point, anyway.

If it weren't for that night, I wouldn't have had any of this happen. None of us would be in this position that we're in now… I shouldn't feel bad, William said.. But William isn't right in the head right now. If I could go back.. I would stop it. But I can't. I can't stop any of it…

As I sat at that bar, I took one shot after another of whiskey. It took me a bit before I was tipsy. Things were blurring, my voice was a little slurred and I turned to the pretty lady on my left, trying, and failing to make conversation. I just ended up with my head on the bar and a small, light touch on my elbow. Bare skin and what I saw, or thought were, black nails and a slight circle on top of the pale hand. It sent a shock down my body and the sustained contact made me shiver. Pulling away, I didn't know the shock before it hit me…

I stared at the thing that had touched me, and I wasn't sure what it was, but even with glasses skewed on my face, I was SURE I knew the face before. Squinting, fixing my glasses, all I could make out was a tangle of black hair and a small grin. "M..Michaelis?"

The demon didn't speak, not at first, and didn't look at me yet. I tried to get up, but just stumbled back a little. It wasn't my fault I couldn't get my balance. I backed into a bar stool before finally finding my balance. Letting off a shiver, the demon smiled. "It was only a comforting gesture, Knox," he whispered.

"I don't need your comfort…d..demon," I scowled at him. Sebastian just smiled at me. I didn't want that look on his face. It was damning.

Pulling myself up, I tried to dash away. Stumbling, I lost my balance again and fell, shaking, and let out a soft cry. I don't know how I remember all of this. With the alcohol in my system it should have been a long blur. But when you're scared shitless, things are less blurred and more defined. You can remember some of the little things. Even when you're stone drunk. Maybe it's the sudden awareness? Fight or flight? No clue, I'm not the best at science. William wouldn't be able to help with this either.

But I don't remember getting home that night. Everything after fleeing the bar…. Everything after that was a blur. Absolutely gone. I remember stumbling to our apartment, dropping onto the stairs. There were footsteps behind me. Oh god I thought I was going to die.

"Ronald?" was the voice behind me. William-senpai. He picked me up and growled with annoyance. "Passed out drunk? Really?" He disapproved, I could tell, but I was too groggy and drunk to care.

" 'M not passed out, senpai," I think I said. Whether or not it made it out of my mouth or William chose not to speak, I don't know. But he had to push the apartment door open with one hand, and kick it closed with his foot before he sat me down. That was William senpai. Always insistent. My body was dropped onto the couch.

"You stink of alcohol, Ronald. And you're shaking."

I managed to look up at him, shielding my eyes from the living room lamp. "Eh?" I asked. I don't know if I was thinking about Sebastian or not. And god that lamp was just so hot.

"….You look shaken, what's wrong?" He sat down next to me, looking sternly at me. That was William. He might have seemed cold and distant.. But he cared. No one was really sure if this was because of his dislike of overtime. None of that matters now.

There are a lot of gaps and holes in my memory. I don't know what I said to him. That whole night is like that. First the sharp clarity… And then lapses. It bothers me…I can't tell you what that first night felt like, other than that I felt like I was drowning in a giant bowl of pea soup.

"..I'm fine, William," I managed to slur out before he felt my forehead.

"You're drunk and you're hot."

"S..so?" I tried to stand up, but he made me sit back down.

"So something could have happened, Ronald." He gave me that look. You know? The one that terrifies everyone in the room except for the idiot who questions it? And that idiot is almost always me? Yeah. That face.

"..Like what?" I don't know what I looked like, but he read my face like a book.

"Like being molested by a demon," he said, frowning.

"I…haven't been mo..molesshhh.. Felt up by anyone, senpai," I slurred. William's mouth twitched.

"You're lying, Ronald Knox." Feeling my forehead, he looked me over. "..No way to tell until you're sober ANYWAY," he growled. Lifting an eyebrow, disapproving, he covered me up and let me sit. Letting off a shiver, there was heat under the blanket. I was praying in that it wasn't the demon's fault.

Covering my eyes, the lamp eventually shut down on it's own and I think I fell asleep. I wouldn't know dreams from reality then. But I was squirming. God it felt so good. Who ever it was touching me….Those hands… god those hands… I was squirming in moments, and I heard myself gasp. William must have been asleep, otherwise he would have bothered me about it. I squirmed until I fell off of the couch and landed hard, hitting my shoulder on the coffee table. That did wake William up and, as I sat up, I heard his footsteps stop in front of me.

"Ronald Knox." This was his firm, and groggy greeting. Standing firmly in front of me, I guess he knew something was wrong. William always knows something, at least.. Or so I think. He's never been wrong when it comes to demons. Not even in that brief period that he was… incapacitated. He doesn't like for us to mention that time. Especially since he almost died. But he was still there to care for them.

"…Heeeey senpai," I slurred again, looking up at him. I rubbed the back of my head. "How'd you sleep?"

"…..It's only been an hour, Ronald."

His scowl told me that he was disapproving. "I'm sorry senpai.. I'll just go to bed."

"..As you should." He helped me stand before letting me into my room. "You know, Ronald, you should be fine."

"…Fine about what?" I slurred, leaning on my doorframe, looking at him.

"If the demon touched you, you should be fine. Seeing as you're rather... Promiscuous."

"Thanks, William senpai," I had to say before turning and crawling into bed. Turns out, for once, William was wrong.

I overslept the next morning, but Grell had called out for me. Nasty case of the flu, William had told him. Normally the man was so hard-assed that we couldn't do anything without getting a stern, angry lecture out of him.

Grell looked at me. "Will said for me to stay home and to watch you. He's got Alan and Eric with him."

" M'kay," I said, getting up, shielding my eyes.

"What about our work?"

"It's considered overtime."

"…So we don't have to do it?"

"No. They're dividing it or something like that." Grell shrugged. He seemed off, and looked at Ronald. "Willu said something about you getting drunk."

"Yeah.. I'm fine."

Grell again shrugged, but looked at him. He had a small smile on his face. "You're lying~" he said with a giggle.

"Would I lie, Suttcliff senpai?" My voice was low. Everything was loud and bright. It was maddening. I sat down and took a sip of tea. It made me a little queasy, but if I didn't get something to drink, I might have looked worse than I thought.

"Hmmm~ No, I guess not."

We sat quiet for a few moments before Grell spoke up. "Did you see Sebas-chan last night, Ronnie?"

"No," I shifted. But that was lying. Not like Grell could ever tell.

"Awww~ And I was hoping for more excitement." He let out a shiver and smiled.

"After everything that happened? Yeah."

Grell got his wish. And not the way he wanted it.

I don't really remember a lot of what happened next. I try to just shrug it off. But that's hard to do. Really. You know when you're busy and how time flies? And when you're bored, time is really slow and shit? Yeah, that's what was going on with me. Only sometimes I would be thinking about what happened, and time would go by, and I wouldn't even notice. William did. Because I don't normally space out, I don't think. Well, whatever it was, it felt like work wasn't getting any easier.

And I had OVERTIME. OVERTIME! I don't ever get overtime. But I was really distracted, and things were getting messier and my work was getting sloppy. I had seen first hand what addiction could do to a shinigami. I knew.

So I didn't say a word.

I guess I was better at hiding it from them than I thought. And after a week went by, I got better, or, at least I thought so. It wasn't even that big of a touch. So I shrugged it off. Yeah. Genius idea, right?

So I went back out on the town. I was alright, dressed nice, ready to go back to my normal routine. Picking up hot girls for one night stands, stuff like that, you know?

Instead of going to the bar, where I had first seen Michaelis, I went to a new club. I like club scenes better. More scantily-clad ladies and dudes in drag. So I can bring home a date for me and a date for Grell. Boss doesn't like it when I bring dates home for him. Always says something about his reputation or another. But, whatever.

I was in my club, at the bar, again, chatting up a few ladies, being a gentleman, even meeting a few humans. Hey, I like to party when I'm off, so I made the best of it.

Can't remember how late I was out, I was staggering drunk. Laughing my ass off, buying everyone drinks, regardless of age, which boss would also kill me for. I spent all my rent money that night. Which, is to say, I guess the least of my problems.

Things were blurred, and I remember getting close to this one dude. Man was he pale, and he was dressed in a partially stripped business suit, with white gloves, his tie just draped around his neck. It crossed my mind that he'd be the exact type for William, but, like I said, he doesn't like dates. And we got really close.

Now, I know some people say, 'Ronald Knox swings both ways, like his hair,' and that isn't true, I swear, but I'm not going to lie, this man was hoooot. He didn't say anything, he had his hair down over his face, so I couldn't tell who/what he was. And man he could move. I don't rave dance, I go to clubs and I dance with women and sometimes men and stuff. It was this one time I chose to get really close to a guy.

And when I saw him, maybe I should have guessed who I was dancing with. Didn't stop me. And, to be fair, I was drunk. But anyway. We got close. Real close. I didn't look closely at his face, and he lifted one hand and stripped a glove off of it with his teeth. Took me a moment to realize what I was dealing with. Black nails.

The demon wrapped the tie around the back of my neck and had me chest to chest with him. "Ronald Knox~ I didn't think I'd see you back out so soon~" His voice lilted. He was laughing at me.

"Shut up demon!" I pushed him back and he let go intentionally, knocking back against someone else, who knocked into a bouncer.

"HEY!"

In seconds I was out on the street with Ithat demon/I. Let's not mention the minced words I had with the bouncer or the threats I made to said demon, or the threats he made back.

And then he had me against the wall, stripping his other glove with his teeth. He didn't treat me the way he did William, from what I heard. My heart was pounding, my head was spinning, and the demon lifted my head easily, just tilting it up. There was a huge burst of heat and I think I gasped. The demon just laughed at me.

I was damn terrified. Every second all I could feel was heat and more heat, and then my heart pounding in my chest, my head spinning. How the hell could a demon do this to a shinigami? How can this even bother me so much? I mean, I got waaaaaay more than Grell or William- senpai did any time, but…. This next part. I don't like to talk about it.

He fucking licked me. He licked my cheek. God if that didn't feel weird, even if my body WAS on fire. He fucking licked me! And then his hands were up my shirt. And I was resisting, I'm proud to say. I was goddamn struggling against Sebastian, when William had simply given in to the fucker. I might have been fine if he…

Well.

Anyway. So he was feeling me up, all of me was on fire, inside and out, hell, I couldn't tell what up and down, left and right were. I couldn't do anything. All I could tell was that he was touching me, and then, I'm not sure why, he kissed me.

I would have been fine if that hadn't sealed the deal. He wasn't slimy. He wasn't disgusting. He tasted sweet. And I couldn't help it when I kissed back. I was fucked seven ways to Sunday.

Everything was spinning. Spinning and spinning and I couldn't breathe. What the hell was wrong with me… But that didn't really matter, not anymore? The fact that I'm sentient enough right now to even write this. That's because he's busy with William. I know what he's planning too. I think. Sometimes I don't know. I don't even know how long we've been here.

But when he let me go, and I'm pretty sure he stuck his tongue down my throat, I was too dizzy to even move. So I just leaned against the wall like that. He left me there. Just walked away.

I think I passed out.