First, I want to say that a Niccole Sullivan look-a-like is not the first person I would have picked to be stranded on some random alien planet. Especially not with me, here, or later.
There are people who actually WISH for that sort of thing to happen (to them or others) and I would have chosen one of them rather than her.
That said, how the fuck did she get past all the Uber-Omni-scanners?
She was right above me. She de-cloaked. She fell out of the sky. Every machine nearby that had a read on her relayed the information to all the other machines and they all aimed their guns and energy weapons at her. The Tier 1 drones converged on her fast and had her surrounded in moments.
The suit was still preventing in-depth scanning, somehow, even while it was clearly powered down. It also seemed to be regenerative in nature, automatically sealing up or repairing systems damaged during the crash using stored kinetic energy in a mechanical and chemical fashion until its electrical systems could be brought online, which means that in 112 second it will be fully repaired and operational once again.
I want that tech!
But it was clear that her leg was broken and there was no indication of built-in first-aid. From the images I was getting from her face she was also in immense pain (no dah!) sunburned, and suffering from dehydration.
Could I have found another Self-Insert character?
ROB, thou art a dick of immense size and ridden with disease.
I came around the rock and filtered my way through the rings of machines and got a good look at her.
Yup, she was hurting. Having a hard time breathing; broken ribs or punctured lung?
The suit was something else. Thanks to my access to a complete copy of our planet's internet from 2016 I now knew I was looking at a good replica of the Centurion Project's battle suit from the Kim Possible TV show. Let's see: According to various online sources the suit is constructed from a super-strong alloy containing cutting edge nano technology that, when dormant, looks like a bracelet and then covers the person wearing it in armor.
Check, it's a really cool thing.
The armor itself is highly durable, and takes no visible damage from handheld explosives or being buried under heavy debris. Furthermore, when it does sustain damage, a self-repairing system activates within seconds, like it never happened. Offensively, the armor wields two shoulder-mounted rapid-fire energy cannons (That I can see with my two eyes, right now! Thankfully depowered,) and two wrist-mounted non-lethal energy beams. It also enhances the strength of the wearer and contains a flight-capable rocket pack that deploys from and refolds into the back. In addition, the armor is semi-sentient and its systems are automated, so it continually responds to the wearer's state of mind in battle conditions. This means that no actual knowledge of the Centurion Project's weapons is necessary to wield it effectively.
The circuitry is controlled by a biometric parameter related to stress: the more stressed the person wearing the bracelet becomes, the faster they are covered from head to toe by the armor, and the more aggressive the armor becomes toward perceived threats.
Still want the armor!
It looked like someone had pulled a Fusion Monster Card, though.
The battle suit is largely white with red and orange highlights and has a chest shield, similar to the space ranger suit worn by the alternate Mira Nova from BLOSC in episode 22, The Buzz Lightyear Factor. Also, she has the fire sword from Drew Saturday.
What the F?
All this contemplating and learning barely takes two seconds. In the meantime a tall wall is put up around our subject, both energy based and not, with a door on one side and the sky open. This way she has a perceived way to leave and will not think about taking me hostage, I hope.
I'm going to go with the thinking, dealing with a wild animal here.
"Hello!" I yelled at her from a distance. "You appear to be injured! Can I be of assistance?" Always offer the hand of friendship first.
Gasping like she just ran a marathon and clearly in great distress the girl rolls over and does something that causes the metal surrounding her head to be absorbed back into the suit. That was unbelievably cool!
Also, her hair was outrageous!
I mean, literally outrageous. Like she doesn't have the time to take care of it. She has a headband so altogether it gives her a "Space Warrior Babe of the Future" look. But the coloring was definitely the result of a character fusion. It was a stylish mix of black hair that goes down to the middle of the back with a tiger stripes of platinum blond, kind of big and poufy. Not a dye job. It went all the way down to her roots. Her complexion was severely sunburnt, but her lips and eyebrows were solid black.
"I (huff) surrender!" she says. "Help me – (gasp!) please . . . ."
Then she collapses and doesn't move much.
The suit, in a cool clanking soundtrack, slowly collapses in on itself leaving behind nothing but a large gauntlet around her right arm. The shard inside me goes "Squee!" with the desire to tinker. Is suppressed successfully.
The sword is still attached to her left hip with the fanny pack attached to her right upper leg. Her clothes are a fusion of Kim Possible's second mission outfit and Shego's outfit. Except for the hair she looks like KIGO2 from Deviantart.
The program Mom (Mission Operations Manager) informed me that the hospital will be done being constructed by the time we get there. New lists of things to do are also generated.
One of the Tiny Tanks rolls up and is sprayed down by fabricators so it has a nice box attached to its upper surface, duplicating in every way a million dollar ambulance. Another stream of red nanomachines in the meantime has already created the stretcher. An air ball scout released a cloud of antithetic over the girl and puts her to deep sleep.
Using machine precision the robots use their manipulators to lift her off the ground supporting every body part and get her into the stretcher and strap her down and load her into the improvised ambulance. I get inside with them. The doors close and we take off.
A medical droid with a woman's body hangs from the ceiling with twelve limbs. Inspired by THIS. Using lasers, scalpels, cutters and fingers it quickly removes parts of the mysterious woman's clothing to get at the patient. These materials are analyzed along with the tissue samples. I put my hand on her stomach to allow access to her tissues through my nanomachine technology and WORM shard superpower.
The girl, approximately 21 years of age, is a construct like myself. We have the same age but their are no scars from living or abnormalities from unregulated growth spurts. She on the other hand has a triple DNA strand, which I find fascinating. Two parts human, one part I'm guessing to be Tangean. Stripping out the human DNA and recreating the original strand I find myself completely understanding the Tangean ability to ghost through solid matter. Unlike the ones from the show however all indications are present that she also has the ability to create mind pulses like the Tangean Grounders. Together it gives reason why she has a slightly longer neck than found on most humans, unusual brain structure, and pointy ears.
By the time we get to the hospital (clinic more likely) I found myself taking on the role of doctor since I was the only one around capable of performing surgery without opening her body up to get at the bones and ruptured organs. My powers made me uniquely qualified. In moments upon our arrival we were relocated to a large circular operating room whose walls were covered with sensors of every kind and cameras. Data gained from the operation is invaluable.
It also didn't take long, thanks to my technology and with a bit of help from Computer Silver, to get her hydrated and fed. This was done by having me ingest some alien plant matter that the machines brought and pre-pulverized in a blender, stripping out the poisons and other things humans normally can't consume, then throwing up and forcing the result into her stomach with the help of an intravenous tube inserted through her mouth. The tube itself is a mechanical arm that avoided the sensitive areas of her throat on the way to her stomach so she didn't gag on it or have any unpleasantness happen while it was being put in and taken out. My nanomachines and tailored organisms take care of the rest from there.
By the time I was done she was sleeping the sleep of one of the exhausted.
In the meantime the rest of the Think Tank were positively oohing and ahhing over the battle suit. The armor seems the best of both fictional words.
There was even a manual. That'll help, as soon as I translate it from Tangean.
The Battle Suit was a smooth blending of both universes technology. Though cloth-like in texture except for the chest plates and guards protecting the joints when fully deployed, the alien space armor is strong enough to survive any blast short of a supernova (Progenitor tested, superhero approved). Wings from the Space Ranger suit were added to the literal rocket pack for additional stability with thrusters on the ends for increased speed and maneuverability. It even has a hyper-sleep function and emergency rescue beacon. The suit itself can also magnetize in order to remain securely attached to a fragment of metal or the hull of a ship.
One difference here is that the communicator has been relocated to the right forearm, with the ability to contact other suits as far away as the next solar system.
The suit contains two crystallic fusion crystals, green and faceted in appearance, powerful, explosive and self-regenerating. Provided you don't use it too much the crystal will grow back to its original size. Omni-sensors indicate that its properties are only possible because it exists in five other dimensions than the ones we can see and uses extra-dimensional forces to achieve observed results in defiance of known physical laws. So it has a charging time. However if you give it plenty of energy of the right type while placed under extreme pressure in seawater it will grow.
Computer Blue is happy.
Plans were already underway for new power generators and aquatic fusion crystal farms. Time until completion: 1 hour. Time until first crystals could be harvested . . . . . . 30 days, damn it!
There was a powerful wrist laser weapon in each arm of the suit small enough to fit on your keychain. It can be set to either weld holes and cracks, stun an enemy or blast it out the sky. Space Rangers get all the best toys. The energy cannons on the shoulders and the non-lethal pulsar blasters mounted in the wrist are all so very, very valuable to our weapons development programs. Yoink!
A little R&D time and weapons upgrades all around!
Plans were made to start developing other Star Command weapons. Notably the smaller laser which is supposed to be a very small gun that is incredibly powerful and very portable; the Standard laser cannon, which emits an orange charge so it's more powerful; the Heavy duty laser cannon, which is also orange but has a larger beam diameter.
The suit's semi-sentient systems are very advanced compared to what was available in 2016, at least 300 years ahead of any AI research being done at that time. Sentient robots were a big thing in the Buzz Lightyear universe. Nothing that my world couldn't have reverse engineered, of course, but it was nice to have now. It was, in fact, advanced enough that I felt it worth it to temporarily shut down all my computer and AI systems and replace them with the new OS.
None of this even casts a shadow on the magnificence of the Xeno-Commander which is how I know none of my machines are going to go all Skynet on me. "Jees!" What a dumb movie that was. Skynet would have been better off waiting a few years and then by releasing a plague to wipe out all life on earth. I know those diseases exist because they were in the Big Internet Book of 2016. There were even workbooks, like the kind you hand out to students, which will guide you to how to make them. The Xeno-Commander could just come one over and crush my head first. Actually I don't think he was programmed at all. However it was done it didn't make any sense from my primitive viewpoint. The important thing is that it works and he isn't going to kill me.
Computer Red loved the suit. It allowed him to complete the Mark 00 way ahead of schedule and produce something I could wear in less than an hour. All of that stuffed into a tiny armband-computer thing. It'll enhance my already natural Transhuman abilities, allowing me to move even faster and jump higher than ever before.
There is also a variable shield generator which creates a circular clear bubble around the user which can also be specifically tuned to allow objects in or out. The shields can also be used to knock nearby individuals away from the wearer by activating it as they are nearby.
So now we had a schedule in place to develop and upgrade our sheilds technology. Moving right along.
The suit also has an archaic wrist grappling hook, which Computer Black replaced with the Cleopatra 2525 grappler which requires no hook and is more like Spiderman's webs in that it can attach itself to any surface, can be thinned, thickened, elastic, and fully retractable. Computer Black was also very interested in the Kimmunicator found on the girl's wrist when she unarmored, which was somehow more advanced than any private communications device on record, even the ones secretly developed by the government and militaries. It is powered by a trilithium power cell, an advanced super-battery that can carry enough charge to power much larger devices. Even a portal to another dimension. This battery will last almost four years before needing to be replaced, even under extreme abuse. Outside of Progenitor technologies this is the most powerful battery in our arsenal.
Power generator upgrades for the smaller machines were a must.
The suit also has a stealth mode that allows for full invisibility with color changing options. Nothing quite like what the Progenitor database is enabling us to give our units in terms of stealth. If all my tech had full access to full Progenitor capabilities, rather than this miss-mash of upgraded human machines, I doubt she could have gotten anywhere near us. But progress was progress. It shouldn't take long to adapt and incorporate.
Not long at all.
With this battle suit technology I have all my Defensive Buildings back. I have my Catapults, Galata Turret, Holkins, Jellyfish mines, Laser Towers of all kinds, Nuclear Missiles Launchers – well I already have those but better ones now – better Orbital and Deepspace Radar, Pelters, plus the Umbrella, Laser Weapon Platforms and Anchors for space defenses were now a real thing.
But why?
That was the real question here. Why take away my most dangerous tech and all my weapons only to give me an entirely new set? These things are all about going to new worlds in different Alternative Universes and acquiring the technologies there. Nothing about having companions and having the stuff come to you.
Who was the women? Why was she a fusion character? Self-Insert, mad scientists creation, clone, all of the above?
I'll say it again, someone is fucking with me.
?
Well I suppose it didn't matter. She was completely in my power. I could do just about anything with her. The only thing I couldn't account for were her other abilities. While she was asleep her "aura" shifted between green, blue, teal, red and purple. The teal color obviously came from her Tangean heritage. Green came from Shego, so did that meant she also had the abilities of the other members of Team Go?
What was this energy?
So many questions.
Didn't really have a lot of answers. "A Wizard Did It," seems a bit too standard.
Unconsciously, I found myself looking at the conglomeration of Disney characters occupying the next room as she slept rather than working, wondering what I should do.
The woman should be up in an hour. I'll have her moved into a larger room with a proper bed. Dresser, nightstand, vanity mirror, bathroom, sheets, socks, pajamas, slippers, perfumes. She might not like having the lights on when she wakes up. So I put a force field generator into place and programed it to cover her half of the bed with a deep blue tint to filter out certain frequencies of light. I call it my Dark Light generator. All set.
Then all I had to do was wait.
In the meantime I got to go over more details of the suit and figure more stuff out. This reverse engineering thing is fun. I can see why the others all wax poetically about it so much.